UO Thursday!

MrsTuna08

BlackBooks said:

I think that when we talk about programs such as WIC or SNAP we may not realize that we are evaluating them from our own position of privilege. Please keep in mind that when we talk about WIC participants we are talking about women that may

• be homeless or rely on shelters
• live in crowded conditions
• have no examples of breastfeeding in their community
• have caregivers unwilling to handle breast milk
• are food insecure and/or live in food deserts
• take extended trips on public transportation to get to work or to the doctor or to the WIC office
• work low wage jobs that discourage taking breaks even though it is legally required
• be under so much financial strain that she has issues of depression or anxiety

I would never want to put another barrier, such as getting a doctor's note, in front of a woman struggling to feed herself and her family.

Amen!  

Also, WIC is a program that works.  For ever dollar spent on WIC between $1.77 and $3.13 is saved.  These savings are a result of healthier moms having healthier babies - healthy moms and babies are less expensive for the medical system. 

RedBirdFly

jillybean7582 said:

Not even gonna touch the BF vs FF.

We cloth diaper. Its not hard and we have no problem with daycare. We use biodegradable liners so when DS poops that gets dumped in the compost at home and the trash at daycare or if we are out.

I am a STM but I think its really unfair to say a FTM can't have an opinion just because they don't have experience yet. I have plenty of opinions on things I have no experience with. I think there is a huge difference in having an opinion and being a judgy asshat who doesn't listen openly to others opinions. I can respect your opinion without agreeing. This world would be a pretty boring place if everyone agreed on everything.

My UO stems from the mommy group I am a part of on FB. So maybe it doesn't apply here and I really hope it doesn't. I am beginning to think their are alot of women out there that really sell themselves short. If my husband did half the stuff these woman in my mommy groups husbands do he would be out the door in two seconds flat. I get everyone has bad moments and does douchy things from time to time but when you vent about your husband being an asshat every other day you need to stop venting on the internet and do something about it.

Are we in the same mommy group?!

lil_shocker

Well this is downright tame, but I think that licensed drivers should have to pass a written and road test every 10 years, instead of a one and done deal.

BlackBooks

PandaCon said:

Up front I do vaccinate my child for most things but there are some that I have skipped (Flu, Chickenpox, Hep B at birth).

Regarding the bold though - I have family members who have been harmed by vaccines. Heavy metal poisoning and compromised immune system due to vaccines.  You can say what you want but vaccines can cause harm. This is why my child(ren) will only get certain vaccines. (and yes I have researched this)

Also calling people that don't vaccinate dumb is ridiculous. You don't know why they are not. You can't blanket statement like that. I stayed out of the debate until now when the name calling comes out. I have my research and personal experience behind me and you won't change my mind on these. 

The child with heavy metal poisoning has been doing heavy metal cleansing for 6 years and they are almost healed.  Getting even one vaccine can force them to start the process over again.

The emphasis above is mine.

 I'm really sorry that a loved one of yours had a bad reaction(s) to vaccination. It happens so rarely that I think we forget that it is possible and we don't know what a child's reaction will be until it is too late. I think another November mama has some personal experience with this. However, my understanding of chelation therapy is that while it is therapeutic for true poisoning such as lead poisoning  it is not considered good practice to use it to treat thimerosal related "mercury poisoning" or autism that was suspected to be cause by vaccination.

I know this comes off as condescending but heavy metal cleansing is associated with quackery. I don't know what this little one's situation is but six years of chelation treatment sounds really suspicious to me. I hope that he has recovered from his ordeal.

RedBirdFly

@abbyful I don't like small dogs because if I want a small pet, I will get a cat. I like big, cuddly lunks of dogs that are usually mutts.

lizgrace03

FirstBabyDoyle said:

Kllopez1221 said:

I hate Starbucks... There I said it. Flame away ladies

@Kllopez1221‌

I love Starbucks, but this made me laugh!

lizgrace03

lissydee said:

Kristy774 said:

I'm really pissed off right now.....how dare someone attack one of our loss moms? @marissa61681‌ you can STFU and your an asshole too. And yea, I'm calling names and I don't care. And it's unrelated to this UO but I need to put it out there.

Wait--what? This actually happened?!

Yep, see the Diclegis thread. Unbelievable rudeness!

This is somewhat related to the BF/FF discussion. I heard that under the Affordable Care Act, all new mothers are to receive a free pump. Anyone know anything about this?

krgriffin26

lizgrace03 said:

lissydee said:

Kristy774 said:

I'm really pissed off right now.....how dare someone attack one of our loss moms? @marissa61681‌ you can STFU and your an asshole too. And yea, I'm calling names and I don't care. And it's unrelated to this UO but I need to put it out there.

Wait--what? This actually happened?!

Yep, see the Diclegis thread. Unbelievable rudeness!

This is somewhat related to the BF/FF discussion. I heard that under the Affordable Care Act, all new mothers are to receive a free pump. Anyone know anything about this?

My health insurance with UHC offers a free pump. I'm not sure about the other insurance plans, Medicare or Affordable Healthcare Act but if I were you Id look into it.

ColtiersMom

CatLady22 said:

abbyful said:

I think matchy-matchy nursery sets are ugly. (The ones that are the matching bedding, curtains, rug, wall hangings, etc.)

Along this line I hate almost every bedding set for kids. I just want plain colors or a simple geometric pattern. No pooh or trains, yuck.

Try looking at Etsy or Pinterest for some bedding sets, they have some really nice one's.

lizgrace03

Ok your answer jogged my memory. I think what it is if I remember correctly, the ACA requires all insurance plans to provide a free pump. So even if you don't have the ACA insurance, your private plan now has to provide a free pump. So everyone make sure to get yours!

Melissa2216

I haven't read the whole thread yet, but two UOs that come to mind based on the first page:

1. I think earrings on infant girls look sort of trashy.

2. I don't mind unique spellings as long as it's phonetically correct and not completely mangled. Example: I think Camryn is fine. I'm not all "It's Cameron or nothing." Cameron doesn't look like a girl's name to me, so I think it's perfectly acceptable to make it more feminine by changing the spelling.

staugustinewedding

krgriffin26 said:

lizgrace03 said:

lissydee said:

Kristy774 said:

I'm really pissed off right now.....how dare someone attack one of our loss moms? @marissa61681‌ you can STFU and your an asshole too. And yea, I'm calling names and I don't care. And it's unrelated to this UO but I need to put it out there.

Wait--what? This actually happened?!

Yep, see the Diclegis thread. Unbelievable rudeness!

This is somewhat related to the BF/FF discussion. I heard that under the Affordable Care Act, all new mothers are to receive a free pump. Anyone know anything about this?

My health insurance with UHC offers a free pump. I'm not sure about the other insurance plans, Medicare or Affordable Healthcare Act but if I were you Id look into it.

I have UHC..how do you go about getting it?

jaminjeff

lizgrace03 said:

Ok your answer jogged my memory. I think what it is if I remember correctly, the ACA requires all insurance plans to provide a free pump. So even if you don't have the ACA insurance, your private plan now has to provide a free pump. So everyone make sure to get yours!

Unless your insurance is self-insured, they're exempt. I work for local government, so of course they squeaked out of this. Whomp whomp.

lizgrace03

jaminjeff said:

lizgrace03 said:

Ok your answer jogged my memory. I think what it is if I remember correctly, the ACA requires all insurance plans to provide a free pump. So even if you don't have the ACA insurance, your private plan now has to provide a free pump. So everyone make sure to get yours!

Unless your insurance is self-insured, they're exempt. I work for local government, so of course they squeaked out of this. Whomp whomp.

Dammit, of course they did. Guess I need to do some research.

Melissa2216

RedBirdFly said:

On FF/BF - I plan on BF this time. If you ask, I will tell you it was too hard to breastfeed my first. It was TOO HARD. Was I lazy? No. Two days after I got out of the hospital, I was projectile vomiting and went to the ER. I forgot my pump at home. The ER staff wouldn't let me borrow one. I was there for 12 hours. I still tried. I did everything I could for the next two weeks. My son was attached to my breast nearly 24/7. I was getting zero sleep. I had the baby blues bad because I wasn't allowed to breastfeed anywhere outside of my bedroom, so I felt like a prisoner (I lives with my parents, my brother and dad and uncle didn't need to see my boobs according to my mom). On top of that, when I started crying because my son stopped latching, my now ex told me it was a good thing because breastfeeding is disgusting. So that's what I had to deal with. After trying everything for another week to get him to latch again while pumping constantly to keep up with his demand, I decided crying over feeding him and constantly being stressed because I couldn't pump enough to keep him fed wasn't worth it. But usually I don't tell that story. I just say it was too hard and /story.

Wow, that's some bullshit. I'm so sorry you didn't have a supportive family/environment. I hope it goes better for you this time around.

RedBirdFly

Thanks, @Melissa2216‌! My DH hates hearing about my ex but he keeps asking what he can do (eta:differently than my ex) to help support me this time around. Its really nice. He doesn't care either way but knows I really, really want to, so he's going to do his best to make sure I succeed.

pennyandandy

BlackBooks said:

PandaCon said:

Up front I do vaccinate my child for most things but there are some that I have skipped (Flu, Chickenpox, Hep B at birth).

Regarding the bold though - I have family members who have been harmed by vaccines. Heavy metal poisoning and compromised immune system due to vaccines.  You can say what you want but vaccines can cause harm. This is why my child(ren) will only get certain vaccines. (and yes I have researched this)

Also calling people that don't vaccinate dumb is ridiculous. You don't know why they are not. You can't blanket statement like that. I stayed out of the debate until now when the name calling comes out. I have my research and personal experience behind me and you won't change my mind on these. 

The child with heavy metal poisoning has been doing heavy metal cleansing for 6 years and they are almost healed.  Getting even one vaccine can force them to start the process over again.

The emphasis above is mine.

 I'm really sorry that a loved one of yours had a bad reaction(s) to vaccination. It happens so rarely that I think we forget that it is possible and we don't know what a child's reaction will be until it is too late. I think another November mama has some personal experience with this. However, my understanding of chelation therapy is that while it is therapeutic for true poisoning such as lead poisoning  it is not considered good practice to use it to treat thimerosal related "mercury poisoning" or autism that was suspected to be cause by vaccination.

I know this comes off as condescending but heavy metal cleansing is associated with quackery. I don't know what this little one's situation is but six years of chelation treatment sounds really suspicious to me. I hope that he has recovered from his ordeal.

This is exactly what I was thinking. I can't imagine what other kind of metal poisoning they think he got from a vaccine?

PandaCon

If I remember correctly Insurance only had to offer a manual pump for free though.  I don't think they have to provide an electric. 

I was able to rent a hospital grade pump, paid for by my insurance for the whole year after DS was born. They would also have reimbursed me for a pump but I never got around to it. (WAHM - didn't use a pump often.)

This time I will be getting one.  I think you have to call your insurance to see which pumps they cover and where you have to order from. Again this may have change with the new ACA rules. I'm not sure about that. 

Melissa2216

RedBirdFly said:

Thanks, @Melissa2216‌! My DH hates hearing about my ex but he keeps asking what he can do (eta:differently than my ex) to help support me this time around. Its really nice. He doesn't care either way but knows I really, really want to, so he's going to do his best to make sure I succeed.

Love, love, love! I am so happy to hear this!

krgriffin26

staugustinewedding said:

krgriffin26 said:

lizgrace03 said:

lissydee said:

Kristy774 said:

I'm really pissed off right now.....how dare someone attack one of our loss moms? @marissa61681‌ you can STFU and your an asshole too. And yea, I'm calling names and I don't care. And it's unrelated to this UO but I need to put it out there.

Wait--what? This actually happened?!

Yep, see the Diclegis thread. Unbelievable rudeness!

This is somewhat related to the BF/FF discussion. I heard that under the Affordable Care Act, all new mothers are to receive a free pump. Anyone know anything about this?

My health insurance with UHC offers a free pump. I'm not sure about the other insurance plans, Medicare or Affordable Healthcare Act but if I were you Id look into it.

I have UHC..how do you go about getting it?

Lol well I'm not sure yet. I still have to call and check into it. I know it's on my 100% covered list

phdprocrastinator

alysonmh said:

I completely agree that WIC should not offer formula without a doctors note. It's not fair that taxpayers have to pay for a woman's choice to be lazy and not breastfeed. Breastfeeding isn't easy whether you work or stay home but it's the right choice. 98% of the excuses mothers make to not breastfeed aren't very good excuses.

On the same note, my unpopular opinion is of pregnant women (especially on TB) who demand extra respect for their choice to formula feed because they are tired of everyone lecturing them on the benefits of breast feeding. Nobody deserves extra respect for making a poor choice for their baby. It's a doctors job to help you make the healthiest and most informed decision so when they find out that you aren't making the best decision, of course they are going to say something.

If for some reason I had to formula feed I would admit it's not the best choice for my child, not demand special treatment because of it.

Sorry for ranting, breastfeeding is a hot subject for me.

Fuck you.

I struggled - HARD - to get my supply back when it tanked.  I fortunately had the luxury of (1) meeting with an LC; (2) affording the rent on a baby scale for weighted feedings; (3) affording the many supplements offered; and (4) sitting around all day doing almost nothing besides nursing and pumping.  And my supply never came back.  I had to supplement with formula from 4 months on, or my baby would have literally starved.

Now you're going to assume that women who are struggling to make ends meet, who have to consider where every penny of their meager income goes, and whose employers may treat them poorly even if they have a legally protected right (which they may not want to bring up, as they are already so poor) are lazy?  

And, FYI, wanting to share the burden of child care - including feeding - with the baby's father is also a completely legitimate reason to consider FF.  Especially if you have to go back to work at 6 weeks.  BF-ing is hard work.  

tinkerbell1658

To get my pump ( a whole 4 years ago. Lol) I just needed a perscription from my sons ped. Its a double electric and was delivered to me.

sweetbabyrahe

I BF DS for his first year, and although it wasn't easy at times, I made it work. However, I had it easy in the scheme of things: a healthy child with no weight gain issues, minimal latch issues just needing a nipple shield, a supportive DS/family/daycare provider, a flexible and supportive employer, and no supply issues until 10+ months. Do I know women who switch to FF early without trying options...yes . But I know so many more that have so many barriers and try so hard and it doesn't work. Everyone has to make the best choice for their circumstance...no right or wrong. I am so glad so many varieties of formula exist so that as mothers we can make the choice that is best for us and our baby. Women are way to judgy and are quick to put other mothers down for different choices. It leads to immense pressure and expectations. It's not fair.

lisaren

Oh the bf/ff debate and vaccs debate all in one thread. Good times!!

Btw- my daughter is not vaccinated and I'm not dumb but I appreciate the judgement, because it's people like you (whoever said it) that really live in a very shallow world of hypothetical glass houses. I'm gonna throw big ass rocks at it and watch it shatter.

lisaren

I have also ff and bf and all my children are perfect. It's really a silly argument. Really. The boys were ff and they are smart, super smart, the girls were bf and one is super sick. In hospice. Maybe my bm didn't have supa powers!

But really... JUST FEED THE BABY!!!!

harmonicbabe26

I just realized that with all these things hashed out over here already, what the heck is going to end up on FFFC??!! All the good flameworthy stuff has been used up! :P

ccam

I'm not going to give you my sob story about trying to BF but I tried, hard. 

I just wish that as mothers we'd support each other instead of bringing each other down.  Unless you are putting your child in some sort of harms way, I could care less if you BF or FF, CD or use disposables, cry it out or co-sleep until your kid is 11.  It's all about survival and doing what's best not only for your child, but for yourself. 

So get off your high horse @alysonmh.  Like someone said earlier, I think taxpayers are paying for a lot worse than formula.  Would you rather those babies not eat at all??

MrsLillyG

ClrkKntismyAE said:

jlk6 said:

@BlackBoots I am not "privileged" financially. I have been on both SNAPS and WIC for a period of time within the past two years. My FI worked 10+ hour days at a job that pays under $10 an hour so I could stay home with our DD because there was no way we could afford daycare without state assistance. I am currently working a job that tries to tell me that, despite that fact that I work eight hours at a time, I only get one fifteen minute break to eat and if I finish eating before fifteen minutes are up my break is over. I understand the struggles women of a lower income bracket endure because I am in the lower income bracket.

Then why is it that you don't think women on WIC should be allowed formula for their babies without jumping through extra hoops? What will the doctors note say if the reason she can't pump is because McDonalds doesn't give her adequate breaks in order to do so?

I think saying "Just you formula" is a bandaid instead of fixing the bigger issues.

But who ever said that? WIC really pushes breastfeeding. They provide lacation consults and pumps and extra food to the breastfeeding mothers, I think they do their best to encourage moms to Breastfeed.

It is just an opinion I have formed after talking to several young women on WIC.  They start off wanting to breast feed, but don't have to proper support system at home. They get bad advice from family members who never breast fed. They hear incorrect information about not being capable of breast feeding. 

One girl was told by her grandmother that the reason her week old daughter wasn't latching was because she wasn't hungry enough and to let her sleep 4+ hours without waking her. Then at the two week check up her baby was under weight. The same grandmother then convinced her that she didn't make enough milk and to switch to formula because WIC gives it away.

The WIC program I was a part of did not have a lactation consultant to talk to. They didn't offer classes to help new mothers learn anything. You only qualified for a pump if you worked full time. A friend in another state said her program didn't offer any of those extras either. We both live in small towns and there isn't a lot of funding available.

I feel that because formula is so readily available through WIC and at hospitals that women aren't motivated to stick with breast feeding even if it is something they wanted. It is like the statistic that says women who keep formula in their home "just in case" are less likely to successfully breastfeed. 

Edit spelling

im confused why this is bad? my mom says she had us sleeping through the night within a week after being born. she would not let us sleep for lengthy increments during the day so that she could feed us periodically. we were all healthy.

jaminjeff

MrsLillyG said:

ClrkKntismyAE said:

jlk6 said:

@BlackBoots I am not "privileged" financially. I have been on both SNAPS and WIC for a period of time within the past two years. My FI worked 10+ hour days at a job that pays under $10 an hour so I could stay home with our DD because there was no way we could afford daycare without state assistance. I am currently working a job that tries to tell me that, despite that fact that I work eight hours at a time, I only get one fifteen minute break to eat and if I finish eating before fifteen minutes are up my break is over. I understand the struggles women of a lower income bracket endure because I am in the lower income bracket.

Then why is it that you don't think women on WIC should be allowed formula for their babies without jumping through extra hoops? What will the doctors note say if the reason she can't pump is because McDonalds doesn't give her adequate breaks in order to do so?

I think saying "Just you formula" is a bandaid instead of fixing the bigger issues.

But who ever said that? WIC really pushes breastfeeding. They provide lacation consults and pumps and extra food to the breastfeeding mothers, I think they do their best to encourage moms to Breastfeed.

It is just an opinion I have formed after talking to several young women on WIC.  They start off wanting to breast feed, but don't have to proper support system at home. They get bad advice from family members who never breast fed. They hear incorrect information about not being capable of breast feeding. 

One girl was told by her grandmother that the reason her week old daughter wasn't latching was because she wasn't hungry enough and to let her sleep 4+ hours without waking her. Then at the two week check up her baby was under weight. The same grandmother then convinced her that she didn't make enough milk and to switch to formula because WIC gives it away.

The WIC program I was a part of did not have a lactation consultant to talk to. They didn't offer classes to help new mothers learn anything. You only qualified for a pump if you worked full time. A friend in another state said her program didn't offer any of those extras either. We both live in small towns and there isn't a lot of funding available.

I feel that because formula is so readily available through WIC and at hospitals that women aren't motivated to stick with breast feeding even if it is something they wanted. It is like the statistic that says women who keep formula in their home "just in case" are less likely to successfully breastfeed. 

Edit spelling

im confused why this is bad? my mom says she had us sleeping through the night within a week after being born. she would not let us sleep for lengthy increments during the day so that she could feed us periodically. we were all healthy.

BF or FF?  With BFing, going 4+ hours while trying to establish a supply can be really detrimental.

momtojad

MrsLillyG said:

ClrkKntismyAE said:

jlk6 said:

@BlackBoots I am not "privileged" financially. I have been on both SNAPS and WIC for a period of time within the past two years. My FI worked 10+ hour days at a job that pays under $10 an hour so I could stay home with our DD because there was no way we could afford daycare without state assistance. I am currently working a job that tries to tell me that, despite that fact that I work eight hours at a time, I only get one fifteen minute break to eat and if I finish eating before fifteen minutes are up my break is over. I understand the struggles women of a lower income bracket endure because I am in the lower income bracket.

Then why is it that you don't think women on WIC should be allowed formula for their babies without jumping through extra hoops? What will the doctors note say if the reason she can't pump is because McDonalds doesn't give her adequate breaks in order to do so?

I think saying "Just you formula" is a bandaid instead of fixing the bigger issues.

But who ever said that? WIC really pushes breastfeeding. They provide lacation consults and pumps and extra food to the breastfeeding mothers, I think they do their best to encourage moms to Breastfeed.

It is just an opinion I have formed after talking to several young women on WIC.  They start off wanting to breast feed, but don't have to proper support system at home. They get bad advice from family members who never breast fed. They hear incorrect information about not being capable of breast feeding. 

One girl was told by her grandmother that the reason her week old daughter wasn't latching was because she wasn't hungry enough and to let her sleep 4+ hours without waking her. Then at the two week check up her baby was under weight. The same grandmother then convinced her that she didn't make enough milk and to switch to formula because WIC gives it away.

The WIC program I was a part of did not have a lactation consultant to talk to. They didn't offer classes to help new mothers learn anything. You only qualified for a pump if you worked full time. A friend in another state said her program didn't offer any of those extras either. We both live in small towns and there isn't a lot of funding available.

I feel that because formula is so readily available through WIC and at hospitals that women aren't motivated to stick with breast feeding even if it is something they wanted. It is like the statistic that says women who keep formula in their home "just in case" are less likely to successfully breastfeed. 

Edit spelling

im confused why this is bad? my mom says she had us sleeping through the night within a week after being born. she would not let us sleep for lengthy increments during the day so that she could feed us periodically. we were all healthy.

I don't agree with this debate at all and wanted to stay out because I feel like the OP was way out of line (and I am totally pro BF)but when you are establishing your supply you should wake you baby to feed.  The longer you go in between feeding in the beginning your body will think you do not need the milk and will stop producing it.

PineApple85

abbyful said:

AnnieRoo13 said:

Shit got real in UO Thursday today. I said I hate little dogs and no one flinched, but mention BF vs FF and watch out!! ::stands back and grabs popcorn:: Return to the previous conversation.

Meh, as someone who has owned a lot of different breeds of dogs in varying sizes in my lifetime (toy poodle, papillon, cocker spaniel, springer spaniel, lab, english setter, german shorthair pointer, german shepherd, sheltie, collie, dachshund, mutt, and I'm probably forgetting a few), I honestly roll my eyes and typically ignore it when people say they don't like dogs based on size, to me that just says they haven't worked with many dogs and/or have only been around untrained small dogs. Temperament/personality traits are based on breed, not size. There are small dogs that act like "big dogs", and big dogs that act like "small dogs". There are breeds in all sizes I wouldn't mind owning in the future, and breeds in all sizes I have zero desire to ever own.

Honest question from someone who ... I don't dislike small dogs, but feel that I would never personally want to own one because they bark so dang much.  It's been my (limited) observation that small dogs bark all the time at everything and that would annoy me.  Are there small breed dogs that don't bark a lot?

runningmama14

jillybean7582 said:

runningmama14 said:

On the

jillybean7582 said:

We cloth diaper. Its not hard and we have no problem with daycare. We use biodegradable liners so when DS poops that gets dumped in the compost at home and the trash at daycare or if we are out.

I really hope that is not compost you use on a garden that grows anything you consume. Feces in compost is not recommended.

We cd and our old daycare would just put it in the wetbag as is and I cleaned then out when we got home. Changing childcare this time around, so hopefully I can get the new place to do the same.

No we don't use it to grow any food. My parents use it for grass fertilizer. They have like 10 acres of land which is about half yard half woods.. We don't even have a yard right now. We just have the compost to help my parents out.

@jillybean7582‌ - good! Wasn't trying to be a buttinski, but I'm amazed when clients at work tell me they put their pets waste in the compost and then use it on their vegetable garden... Gross!

Sarahbeth612

@PineApple85‌ we have a shihtzu and he only barks if there's a knock on the door. Bonus, he doesn't shed and he is an absolute teddy bear. He was DH's before we got married and I was used to bigger dogs. If DD is upset or anyone raises their voice in the slightest, he comes to paw and nuzzle until someone pets him

CountryMama1114

missnacholover said:

alysonmh said:

missnacholover said:

alysonmh said:

I completely agree that WIC should not offer formula without a doctors note. It's not fair that taxpayers have to pay for a woman's choice to be lazy and not breastfeed.

On the same note, my unpopular opinion is of pregnant women (especially on TB) who demand extra respect for their choice to formula feed because they are tired of everyone lecturing them on the benefits of breast feeding. Nobody deserves extra respect for making a poor choice for their baby. It's a doctors job to help you make the healthiest and most informed decision so when they find out that you aren't making the best decision, of course they are going to say something.

If for some reason I had to formula feed I would admit it's not the best choice for my child, not demand special treatment because of it.

Sorry for the rant! One of the great hormonal perks pregnancy has offered me.

Maybe people who formula feed feel judged by people and that is why they seem to demand extra respect.  I mean, read the bolded.  Judgey much?

Breastfeeding is better than formula feeding, that's a fact. So when people don't approve of formula feeding it's based of facts not judgements or opinions.

I think most people would agree if you are not choosing the best option for your child, it's a poor choice. Everyone judges for one reason or another, mine just happens to be related to formula feeding. Isn't this the thread for unpopular opinions?



You don't know why these women choose formula over breast milk though.  Maybe they have a crappy supply, maybe their child has an allergy and needs a special formula... lumping all formula moms together and saying it's a "poor choice" is judgey.  Just because it's not the choice for you, doesn't mean it's a poor choice for someone else.



This. Exactly. My daughter had horrible acid reflux when she was an infant and she was on a special thick formula WITH cereal added to it because she would projective vomit from the time she was about 3 weeks old... Every time she ate. Guess for this one I will have to read up on how to make breast milk super thick if that happens again, huh?

featherweather

alysonmh said:

alysonmh said:

I completely agree that WIC should not offer formula without a doctors note. It's not fair that taxpayers have to pay for a woman's choice to be lazy and not breastfeed. Breastfeeding isn't easy whether you work or stay home but it's the right choice. 98% of the excuses mothers make to not breastfeed aren't very good excuses.

On the same note, my unpopular opinion is of pregnant women (especially on TB) who demand extra respect for their choice to formula feed because they are tired of everyone lecturing them on the benefits of breast feeding. Nobody deserves extra respect for making a poor choice for their baby. It's a doctors job to help you make the healthiest and most informed decision so when they find out that you aren't making the best decision, of course they are going to say something.

If for some reason I had to formula feed I would admit it's not the best choice for my child, not demand special treatment because of it.

Sorry for ranting, breastfeeding is a hot subject for me.

Woah.  Way to attack people there. Women who don't breastfeed are lazy? 98% of the excuses mothers make to not breastfeed "aren't very good."  Those are some pretty strong and unsubstantiated facts right there. 

Mommy shaming bullshit.


Believe it or not, there are TONS of women who choose not to breastfeed because they say it's too much work or they feel awkward doing it. Umm yes, those are are pretty poor and lazy excuses. I am not referring to women who don't have a good supply or can't breastfeed because of work. I am specifically referring to women who just "don't feel like" breastfeeding.

Did you know that less than 20% of women breastfeed after 3 months and less than 40% do before 3 months? Do you really think 60% of women have a legitimate excuse not to breastfeed? I guess before formula was invented all infants just starved to death. You are no more informed if you actually think most women aren't breastfeeding because of reasons outside of their control.

Easy tiger. Everyone knows BF > FF, but really, the benefits to the child are not so much as to warrant this absolute disdain, even in cases where a woman makes the decision out of 100% convenience. I work in healthcare and often have to ask a mother if their child is FF (for other reasons) and they always answer on the defensive with a rehearsed reason. I feel so bad for them that they automatically assume such a question carries judgement. 

I'd like to see a breakdown of Rhodes scholars FF:BF. 

sparklingwhit

This is going to sound totally bitchy, but I can't read or comment on any of the loss posts.  I just can't.  I'm not sure if it is because I am terrified or because I'm an asshole, but I just can't. 

lisaren

sparklingwhit said:

This is going to sound totally bitchy, but I can't read or comment on any of the loss posts.  I just can't.  I'm not sure if it is because I am terrified or because I'm an asshole, but I just can't. 

I'm going to go with the fact you're scared. I would hate to think you're an asshole.

lizgrace03

sparklingwhit said:

This is going to sound totally bitchy, but I can't read or comment on any of the loss posts.  I just can't.  I'm not sure if it is because I am terrified or because I'm an asshole, but I just can't. 

I think sometimes it's hard to know what to say. Have you had a loss before? If, like me, you haven't, it's hard to understand the pain these moms are going through. I always comment and try my best to express sympathy but it truly feels inadequate.

lisaren

It never sounds right, anything you say.
But just knowing that there is support out there is extremely comforting.

It's very hard to post on a board filled with happiness something so sad and traumatic. Just acknowledging the persons pain and feelings is all is needed.

sunflwra

alysonmh said:

alysonmh said:

I completely agree that WIC should not offer formula without a doctors note. It's not fair that taxpayers have to pay for a woman's choice to be lazy and not breastfeed. Breastfeeding isn't easy whether you work or stay home but it's the right choice. 98% of the excuses mothers make to not breastfeed aren't very good excuses.

On the same note, my unpopular opinion is of pregnant women (especially on TB) who demand extra respect for their choice to formula feed because they are tired of everyone lecturing them on the benefits of breast feeding. Nobody deserves extra respect for making a poor choice for their baby. It's a doctors job to help you make the healthiest and most informed decision so when they find out that you aren't making the best decision, of course they are going to say something.

If for some reason I had to formula feed I would admit it's not the best choice for my child, not demand special treatment because of it.

Sorry for ranting, breastfeeding is a hot subject for me.

Woah.  Way to attack people there. Women who don't breastfeed are lazy? 98% of the excuses mothers make to not breastfeed "aren't very good."  Those are some pretty strong and unsubstantiated facts right there. 

Mommy shaming bullshit.


Believe it or not, there are TONS of women who choose not to breastfeed because they say it's too much work or they feel awkward doing it. Umm yes, those are are pretty poor and lazy excuses. I am not referring to women who don't have a good supply or can't breastfeed because of work. I am specifically referring to women who just "don't feel like" breastfeeding.

Did you know that less than 20% of women breastfeed after 3 months and less than 40% do before 3 months? Do you really think 60% of women have a legitimate excuse not to breastfeed? I guess before formula was invented all infants just starved to death. You are no more informed if you actually think most women aren't breastfeeding because of reasons outside of their control.

Wow. As long as I am feeding my child in a manner that's healthy- it's none of your damn business how I do it.  I'm not harming my child by formula feeding- whether it's the best choice or not or the right choice or not, it's not a poor choice.  

And yes, I'm pretty sure that before formula was invented there WERE infants that starved to death if there were any issues nursing unless they happened to have a spare nursemaid handy.

Yes, this is an UO thread- however, I think you'll probably find that "breast is best" is not necessarily an UO- it's your obnoxious attack and gross generalizations that are getting flamed.