FTM here, nervous for birth

Babylove715

I am 31 weeks and LO is getting big and I'm starting to think to myself "how am I gonna get you out!" Lol! Seriously though I'm so afraid of the pain. All the moms I know lead me to believe it will be agonizing... Is there any real way to help labor & delivery go smoother?

bewilderingstar

Going to a child birth class will help a lot

crhein26

bewilderingstar said:

Going to a child birth class will help a lot

This!  They will teach you techniques to try to relax.  The more relaxed your body is, the easier it's going to be for LO to be birthed.  Also, pee often....not kidding.  If you have a full bladder, it's going to make your labor last longer.

spacepotatoes

Learn how to relax and manage pain naturally, even if you are planning to take meds. It does not have to be agonizing. This is what your body was designed to do and women have been doing it successfully for millions of years. Going into it with the mindset that it will be agonizing pretty much guarantees it so do what you can to convert your fear into a sense of empowerment instead.

Childbirth classes, some books on natural childbirth, and meditation can be helpful.

rockopera

It can't be that bad, or there would never be siblings.

Def take a childbirth class and learn your options.

HeidiP14

It's not that bad. It's different for everyone. In my opinion childbirth was not bad at all w/ DS (I do have high pain tolerance but still). Practice some relaxation techniques, I liked my bradley method book which was more normal breathing. I was never really nervous about it until I was told I might need csection but I didn't . If you need an epidural get one. Try not to worry it will be fine.

awc1986

I had the same mindset as you for my whole pregnancy until this week. Believe me, when you get to this point (I'm 39 + 2) you're so desperate to get baby out that you sort of stop thinking about the pain.

ncbelle

Mindset matters a ton.  Don't think of it as "holy shit this hurts pain" but rather as "this is what my body is doing that will get this baby out".  Learning as much as you can about the birth process helps a ton IMO.  The more you know going in, the more empowered you will be about what is happening and how you can manage it.

And as someone said above, it can't be that bad or none of us would be back for more  Quite honestly I forgot all the pain (and felt 100% amazing) the second my babies were out (both med free births).

Lynnja616

Don't be nervous, be excited.  It will be the best day of your life.  Millions upon millions of women since the dawn of time have done it, so can you.

ElTrain5

Everything PP's have already said.  Also, you might want to look into hypnobirthing and hypnobabies classes, to help learn alternative methods of dealing with labor/delivery related pain.  Taking those kind of classes doesn't nesssecarily have to mean you won't use drugs as well, it just can't hurt to have as many tools in your arsenal as possible, that way when D day comes, you have a few options to try and see what works for you. 

pandora1986

There's a TED talk by Ina May Gaskin that talks about the fear of birth in our culture. She really makes you feel calm and confident. Just look her up on YouTube.

Nekotaru

I have anxiety and I was terrified for awhile too, but I am at the end and so excited to meet her so now I am like some other mommies that are of the mindset that I just want her to arrive and be here and healthy! Sometimes they say it's the journey in life, but for this I'm kinda done with the journey and I'm keeping my "eye on the prize" so to speak

Maladroit

I'm just now 31 weeks and I go back and forth between being confident/excited and having anxiety/fear about delivery day.  I'm more nervous about the nausea than the pain though, I have a pretty high pain tolerance.  Still, Zofran aside, I'm determined to go unmedicated.

jessig13826

It's not so bad! Don't worry. I was nervous with my boy too but in this second pregnancy I'm actually looking forward to it! The other ladies have given you really good advices, taking childbirth classes might help, I've never tried them so idk, usually the hospitals offer them.

ready-or-not

This is my 4th child & I still get nervous at the thought of the birth, but more of the "what if" fear then fear of the pain.  The pain is nothing.  Ok, its painful, no doubt, but you will seriously forget it the moment they put that baby on you & see you him/her for the first time.  Your body is designed for this.  You can do it.  Like @spacepotatoes said a lot of it is getting yourself in the right mindframe.

A guy at work always tells me "Cave women used to birth a baby & go out & cook their man dinner after!"  I kinda wanna punch him for it, but I keep it in my head almost all the time.  Women for centuries before us have been birthing babies out in cotton fields & going back to work the next day.  THANK GOD we don't have to now, but if they could do it under extream conditions, we can surely do it in the comforts of todays.

Good luck!  Exciting times await you

jessig13826

ready-or-not said:

This is my 4th child & I still get nervous at the thought of the birth, but more of the "what if" fear then fear of the pain.  The pain is nothing.  Ok, its painful, no doubt, but you will seriously forget it the moment they put that baby on you & see you him/her for the first time.  Your body is designed for this.  You can do it.  Like @spacepotatoes said a lot of it is getting yourself in the right mindframe.

A guy at work always tells me "Cave women used to birth a baby & go out & cook their man dinner after!"  I kinda wanna punch him for it, but I keep it in my head almost all the time.  Women for centuries before us have been birthing babies out in cotton fields & going back to work the next day.  THANK GOD we don't have to now, but if they could do it under extream conditions, we can surely do it in the comforts of todays.

Good luck!  Exciting times await you

 

agree 100%

Pepper6

Definitely look into childbirth classes.  Not only will they teach you techniques for dealing with the pain part of it, but it makes it a lot less nerve wracking when you know what to expect from the entire process.

spacepotatoes

pandora1986 said:

There's a TED talk by Ina May Gaskin that talks about the fear of birth in our culture. She really makes you feel calm and confident. Just look her up on YouTube.

I'll have to find that talk! Her Guide to Childbirth book is great, too.

missyrissy

I just entered into my 3rd trimester this week and what is helping me from going crazy was to hire a doula. She's been soooo helpful in explaining things, etc. I can call with questions any time. She's a lifesaver and I'm sure will be one on the day of too!!!

margaritachikita

Hire a doula!!!!!!

awc1986

Just to update, I gave birth yesterday and my entire birth plan went out of the window. I only ended up with gas
& air for most of it and pethidine for the last hour. You honestly just do it. There's no option, you just power through. The time when you feel like you really can't do it is the time you're doing the hardest bit of work. Listening to baby snuffle while she lies on my chest makes everything worthwhile.

You'll be fine, mama.
And once you've done it, you'll feel like much stronger than you've ever felt in your life!

dschneider1583

I am not going to say it isn't painless but isn't terrible. It can't be if people do it again and again. I get an epidural with my DS and I plan to this time. I am not looking forward to the pain part but I am excited because I cannot wait to meet my new little man. I have a feeling that excitement will take over all that nervousness. You will do fine!