Three weeks

lexusolsen

Today marks three weeks since we lost our precious son. I'm really struggling to keep it together for my daughter today. I should be thirty weeks pregnant, not getting started on weight watchers. Last night my brother and my four month old nephew were over for dinner. While I love them both and don't want to miss out on time with my nephew, it hurts so much to watch my daughter play with him. I know I have baby toys easily accessible but I couldn't bring myself to get them out. They were saved for my kids and my son didn't get to use them. Gosh this sucks. Thanks for listening.

schulme2

I'm so sorry. big hugs to you!

Jellybean71514

I'm sorry, yeah it does suck big time - *hugs* your way xo

milb11

*hugs*

Bgirma

I am so sorry for your loss. I know the "this doesn't feel right" feeling very well. Even now, almost 4 months out from our loss, I have moments where I think "I shouldn't be doing this, I should be taking care of my baby." My good friend and I were due 7 days apart and ended up having our sons on the same day. It was (and sometimes still is!) so hard to see her son but it's becoming easier over time. I'm starting to appreciate that seeing him reminds me of our son, it's still sad but also makes me happy now.

I am so sorry that you are also in this situation. We are all so lucky to have had our babies but it sucks that we had to say goodbye so soon. ((Hugs))

mmsweeney1

Bgirma said:

Even now, almost 4 months out from our loss, I have moments where I think "I shouldn't be doing this, I should be taking care of my baby."

So true, and sad for all of us.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I also remember those beginning days being so hard. I just still couldn't wrap my head around everything. We'll be thinking of you!

shandorfml2

((big hugs))))

kz's_girlygirl

Love and light to you- there are so many moments where I find myself having similar thoughts. My nieces and nephews are so close to my heart, but sometimes it is painful to be around them.

I hope that you continue to find healing and peace as you move forward.

ikrystal

I teared up reading this because I hurt for you... that must be so hard.  I imagined trying to watch a child of mine (I have no living children) playing with another baby after I had a loss... and I couldn't bring myself to do it.  I'm so sorry.  

lexusolsen

You ladies are so awesome. Thank you for the support. My mom and sister came over and helped us with some organization projects around the house and then we went shopping. I didn't wind up making it to a weight watchers meeting, I'm going to try again tomorrow. I think I just need to accept that Saturdays will be an emotional day for me. Thanks again.

gracie5107

I'm right there with you.  Three weeks is coming up for me at the end of this week.  I have realized that I do better Mon-Wed and then Thursdays (the day I found out) and Fridays (the day I delivered) are by far my worst during the week.  I also get upset about the things I am actually doing now and what I thought I would be doing.  It is all so, so hard. 

I also get how hard it is to try and keep it together for your other kiddo.  I am so thankful to have my son, but at times it is such a challenge to parent and go through this type of loss. 

Lots of hugs to you and prayers for your journey. 

TeamWinForever

I'm there too-this week, Thursday to be specific, will be three weeks since we lost Fiona. It's going to be a hard week, I can tell already. I try and keep busy but the truth is that most days I just want to curl up on the couch and cry. I agree that it's so, so hard to grieve while being an effective parent to another child, especially if they are too young to understand what is happening. We have kept Claire on her normal daycare routine, which is 3 days/week. I have been finding that this gives me time to be a mess and completely not ok, but also gives me a strong reason and purpose to pull it somewhat together the other days. I am also right there with getting upset with the things that I am doing vs. should be doing. For example right now, I am waiting on my new tires and I keep thinking "I should be pregnant and waiting on new tires!" Nothing feels right or normal these days.