Taking control of my life — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Taking control of my life

It's been a month and a half since I've lost my angel and I have been struggling so hard and have just gone into a deep depression with very very dark thoughts. I've also been very weak and after a full day at work I get temps and have been throwing up.

I finally did something about it and went to the doctors and we found out I'm still highly distressed with losing the baby and the horrific way it happened out at sea. All my test results for being ill have came back negative so the doctor has put my illness down to my emotions. My husband and I also believe this miscarriage has triggered of my depression I use to battle as a teen and young adult that I had completely under control due to counselling and medication that I've been off for 2 years.

So this weekend I'm going to start back up on medication and to be ohnest I'm scared because I know it can make you feel strange but I know it's going to be good for me and get those suicidal I'm worthless because I can't keep a baby alive in me thoughts out of my head.

I know this is never going to take away the pain from losing my baby and I'm always going to grieve and have a hole in my heart but I know this is going to help with the feelings caused due to the chemical reaction of this miscarriage.

So I just want to put it out there to any girl feeling the same as I do there is no shame in getting extra help. None at all! We all deserve to be heathy and happy x
Maxsmommy123112N0VaGirlkreardon11biojessnola219longcat07

Re: Taking control of my life

  • It's so great that you are posting this. I don't have suicidal thoughts but I do have trouble just getting through my days without having a breakdown. I have little to no patience and things make me angry or sad very quickly. As my due date month for my first angel baby looms (April) I find myself falling deeper and deeper in depression.

    I am seeing a therapist it's helping, slightly, but u feel like I may need to ask for medication. It's silly but I'm embarrassed!! I think my family has been so hard on me telling me I am weak and being dramatic that somehow I feel like if I ask for medication I am a failure or something? I don't even know how to ask or what to say. I have a friend who experienced 2 miscarriages back to back like me and she has told me time and time again the medication helped her greatly.

    I have a question for you that's been running through my head...IF (because I'm not sure what DH and I are planning yet) we decide to concieve, does the medication at all interfere with that? I'm assuming if you will be TTC again soon the answer is no.

    Again, thank you for posting this. I think it's good for me (and others) to hear it's OKAY to ask for help if I need it.
  • Loading the player...
  • @Eveiii I'm so glad you posted about asking for help, you put it so beautifully. You are a strong and courageous woman and I hope your message will inspire others to seek help without embarrassment. No one should have to live with depression, anxiety, or other problems that can be helped with some form of therapy and/or medication. As you said, everyone deserves to be happy and healthy! Hugs to you!
    Me: 41, DH: 42, married 2009
    BFP #1: 12/05/2012; EDD 08/09/2013; MC 01/2013 (missed, D&C)
    BFP #2: 12/19/2013; EDD 08/25/2014; MC 01/2014 (natural)
    Maxsmommy123112nola219
  • **ticker warning**

    I am so sorry for your loss and that it triggered such a dark period. I am so glad you got some medical help. Please post here whenever you need suppoert, we re here. hugs.
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers        Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers

    Oct Angel*BFP 1/25/14 * EDD 10/6/14 * US#1 2/26/14 *US#2 3/3/14 no heartbeat*d&c 3/12/14*

    BFP 1/17/15 * EDD 9/30/15

    image







  • Thank you @gabbagal‌ for your kind words :) and @stephy1221‌ I don't think I would at all be as half human as I am if it wasn't for this group and everyone's support, love and honesty.

  • I think you're strong for asking for help. Thanks for sharing your journey, I am sure it will help anyone struggling with the same emotions. You will get a beautiful take home baby, stay positive!


  • Thank you so much for sharing your story... My due date would have been May 20, 2014. The closer the date comes the more I hurt... But I'm slowly coming to terms with what happened. I honestly still can't believe it at times.
  • It is a hard thing to come to terms with or even understand @NVALDEZ21‌ I do hope you find a special way to celebrate your little ones birthday and have a supportive network of friends around you x
    NVALDEZ21
  • Thank you @Eveiii‌... I appreciate your words :-)
  • gabbagal said:
    @Eveiii I'm so glad you posted about asking for help, you put it so beautifully. You are a strong and courageous woman and I hope your message will inspire others to seek help without embarrassment. No one should have to live with depression, anxiety, or other problems that can be helped with some form of therapy and/or medication. As you said, everyone deserves to be happy and healthy! Hugs to you!
    DITTO!! I applaud you for putting it out there, for saying what so many of us want to say but can't. My miscarriage triggered a deep depression. I'm not sleeping at all. Lexapro is my saving grace! There I said it, and if I didn't plan on TTC again when medically cleared, I would be sleeping on a beautiful Klonopin pillow right now :)
     May your hands always be busy
    May your feet always be swift
    May you have a strong foundation
    When the winds of changes shift

    May your heart always be joyful
    May your song always be sung
    And may you stay forever young  " 

    Me 35, DH 37

    DX with PCOS in early 20's. IF d/t PCOS, anovulation, endometriosis, Dermoid cyst in/on Left ovary

    TTC for 3 years. (2/2011), Last 16 months (2/2013) with chemical ART; Lap HSG with D&C 11/2012, Repeat HSG 2/2013 

    Clomid, Follisim, HCG Triggers, Progesterone, Metformin

    IUI x2 = BFN

    3/16/14 IUI #3  BFP!

    3/28/14 BFP!!!!!!!, EDD 12/6/14, Nonviable pregnancy 4/9/14, 5w4d; CP natural mc at 7w6d

    4/25/14 Bye bye little one

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersDaisypath Anniversary tickers Daisypath - Personal picture


    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
  • @nola219‌

    That's the reason I posted it I wanted everyone who's feeling like this that they are not at all alone and they should not feel scared/ashamed to say I'm not happy and I'm not coping well and I need to get help because I deserve to feel good. I hope you start to feel better soon and start get in some sleep x
    nola219
  • @Eveiii you are too sweet. Thank you! Hope you start to feel better soon as well!

     May your hands always be busy
    May your feet always be swift
    May you have a strong foundation
    When the winds of changes shift

    May your heart always be joyful
    May your song always be sung
    And may you stay forever young  " 

    Me 35, DH 37

    DX with PCOS in early 20's. IF d/t PCOS, anovulation, endometriosis, Dermoid cyst in/on Left ovary

    TTC for 3 years. (2/2011), Last 16 months (2/2013) with chemical ART; Lap HSG with D&C 11/2012, Repeat HSG 2/2013 

    Clomid, Follisim, HCG Triggers, Progesterone, Metformin

    IUI x2 = BFN

    3/16/14 IUI #3  BFP!

    3/28/14 BFP!!!!!!!, EDD 12/6/14, Nonviable pregnancy 4/9/14, 5w4d; CP natural mc at 7w6d

    4/25/14 Bye bye little one

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersDaisypath Anniversary tickers Daisypath - Personal picture


    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards