Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Eveiii
member
Taking control of my life
Eveiii
member
It's been a month and a half since I've lost my angel and I have been struggling so hard and have just gone into a deep depression with very very dark thoughts. I've also been very weak and after a full day at work I get temps and have been throwing up.
I finally did something about it and went to the doctors and we found out I'm still highly distressed with losing the baby and the horrific way it happened out at sea. All my test results for being ill have came back negative so the doctor has put my illness down to my emotions. My husband and I also believe this miscarriage has triggered of my depression I use to battle as a teen and young adult that I had completely under control due to counselling and medication that I've been off for 2 years.
So this weekend I'm going to start back up on medication and to be ohnest I'm scared because I know it can make you feel strange but I know it's going to be good for me and get those suicidal I'm worthless because I can't keep a baby alive in me thoughts out of my head.
I know this is never going to take away the pain from losing my baby and I'm always going to grieve and have a hole in my heart but I know this is going to help with the feelings caused due to the chemical reaction of this miscarriage.
So I just want to put it out there to any girl feeling the same as I do there is no shame in getting extra help. None at all! We all deserve to be heathy and happy x
I finally did something about it and went to the doctors and we found out I'm still highly distressed with losing the baby and the horrific way it happened out at sea. All my test results for being ill have came back negative so the doctor has put my illness down to my emotions. My husband and I also believe this miscarriage has triggered of my depression I use to battle as a teen and young adult that I had completely under control due to counselling and medication that I've been off for 2 years.
So this weekend I'm going to start back up on medication and to be ohnest I'm scared because I know it can make you feel strange but I know it's going to be good for me and get those suicidal I'm worthless because I can't keep a baby alive in me thoughts out of my head.
I know this is never going to take away the pain from losing my baby and I'm always going to grieve and have a hole in my heart but I know this is going to help with the feelings caused due to the chemical reaction of this miscarriage.
So I just want to put it out there to any girl feeling the same as I do there is no shame in getting extra help. None at all! We all deserve to be heathy and happy x
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Re: Taking control of my life
I am seeing a therapist it's helping, slightly, but u feel like I may need to ask for medication. It's silly but I'm embarrassed!! I think my family has been so hard on me telling me I am weak and being dramatic that somehow I feel like if I ask for medication I am a failure or something? I don't even know how to ask or what to say. I have a friend who experienced 2 miscarriages back to back like me and she has told me time and time again the medication helped her greatly.
I have a question for you that's been running through my head...IF (because I'm not sure what DH and I are planning yet) we decide to concieve, does the medication at all interfere with that? I'm assuming if you will be TTC again soon the answer is no.
Again, thank you for posting this. I think it's good for me (and others) to hear it's OKAY to ask for help if I need it.
Also going on meds does not make you a failure, how can you be a failure when you are doing something to improve your life. Also don't be embarrassed. I use to be embarrassed as a teen and would never talk about it because I felt like a loser a year after high school I got in contact with a guy I sat next to in maths class and we where both on the same meds at high school.
If you feel you may need them talk to your doctor about how you feel and you think you need to extra help and would meds be good for you and he can help you make a wise decision and get you on ones that would suit you.
I understand about the emotions I'm the exact same as you. I work in retail and I'm shocked I haven't kicked someone yet.
I'm personally not going to try again. Me and my DH did not plan this & our condom broke and I didn't know I was pregnant till I miscarried. We are both happy where we are in life and both decided we are going to wait another 4 years till where 30 to try again or put in adoption forms. But I do wish this baby did survive because I'm in so much love with her and just wish I could be watching my belly grow with her inside.
I know some meds can interfere if your trying but talk to your doctor because there will be safe ones out there.
I was unsure about posting this but I thought no I need to do it because there could be someone with some of the same feelings I have and I want to let people know it's ok to ask for help.
Xxx
BFP #1: 12/05/2012; EDD 08/09/2013; MC 01/2013 (missed, D&C)
BFP #2: 12/19/2013; EDD 08/25/2014; MC 01/2014 (natural)
" May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
May your song always be sung
And may you stay forever young "
Me 35, DH 37
DX with PCOS in early 20's. IF d/t PCOS, anovulation, endometriosis, Dermoid cyst in/on Left ovary
TTC for 3 years. (2/2011), Last 16 months (2/2013) with chemical ART; Lap HSG with D&C 11/2012, Repeat HSG 2/2013
Clomid, Follisim, HCG Triggers, Progesterone, Metformin
IUI x2 = BFN
3/16/14 IUI #3 BFP!
3/28/14 BFP!!!!!!!, EDD 12/6/14, Nonviable pregnancy 4/9/14, 5w4d; CP natural mc at 7w6d
4/25/14 Bye bye little one
That's the reason I posted it I wanted everyone who's feeling like this that they are not at all alone and they should not feel scared/ashamed to say I'm not happy and I'm not coping well and I need to get help because I deserve to feel good. I hope you start to feel better soon and start get in some sleep x
@Eveiii you are too sweet. Thank you! Hope you start to feel better soon as well!
" May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
May your song always be sung
And may you stay forever young "
Me 35, DH 37
DX with PCOS in early 20's. IF d/t PCOS, anovulation, endometriosis, Dermoid cyst in/on Left ovary
TTC for 3 years. (2/2011), Last 16 months (2/2013) with chemical ART; Lap HSG with D&C 11/2012, Repeat HSG 2/2013
Clomid, Follisim, HCG Triggers, Progesterone, Metformin
IUI x2 = BFN
3/16/14 IUI #3 BFP!
3/28/14 BFP!!!!!!!, EDD 12/6/14, Nonviable pregnancy 4/9/14, 5w4d; CP natural mc at 7w6d
4/25/14 Bye bye little one