Anyone else just have a grumpy one?

august06mom

DS2 (HFA, almost 3) has always been kind of grumpy baby/toddler. He's definitely rigid, and we have flexibility as one of his goals. He's in EI right now with ABA and OT. He tested out of speech, but we're looking to get him back into a group speech class once he reaches 3 and can be retested again with higher standards.

But I can already see the "no longer little, so it's no longer cute" perception will bite us in the butt when he's older. He growls at people when he doesn't feel like talking or saying hello. Or he'll say some jargon to them. Or sometimes even just scream "NO!" and look away. I get the "Oh, he's just shy!" a lot from well-meaning people, but this obviously won't be acceptable behavior when he's even just a little older. 

He has an angry, grumpy look on his face a lot. They're working on "happy arms" so he doesn't just stand there with his arms crossed at school. Don't get me wrong -- he can be very loving, very playful, very silly at times, but, like most things, only on his terms. He's even started screaming or shouting at me when I tell him he can't do something. We're trying the extinction approach for most bad behavior at this point, but it's hard to ignore the little tyrant when he shouting (usually nonsense) at me and pointing his finger -- especially in public!  DS1 also doesn't understand why I punish him when he's being a smart mouth, but I don't DS2.

Anyone else gone through this?

Princess_Lily

At 2.5 DS was quite the testy toddler! I have to say, with age (maturity) and improvements in his articulation many mood swings became manageable! I'd say 18mo-3.5yo was the roughest.

Now when he is sick (like now), he gets grumpy and moody again - he has difficulty with expressing himself when sick.

What discipline methods are in place for him now when he gets out of hand?

august06mom

We are trying to ignore the bad behavior. So angry faces and mean talk get zero attention. I'll be honest and say I'm not sure if this is the right way to go. Our ABA said it will get worse before it gets better.

august06mom

Thanks for weighing in Auntie. We're starting to try with scripts, but he seems a bit young. I think there's still a bit of disconnect on what he understands. He tested within normal range for receptive language, but we'll see what happens when the expectations go up at 3. We are pretty strict with manners expectations -- everything must have a please or thank you, but when he screams "I WANT MY CHEERIOS RIGHT NOW PLEASE!", it's not always that great, lol. But we're getting there, I guess.

As for DS1, I'm sure he's probably playing me. We have spoken with him about DS2's dx to avoid "the big reveal," but not in a while. I'm loathe to constantly bring it up, and there's already quite a bit of resentment from DS1 about all the attention DS2 gets with his therapists. DS1 has his own "I always want to be the center of attention" issues, so I know that plays a role. But, yes, we constantly remind him that he gets to stay up later, do activities, etc. Some of this might be typical sibling stuff.  

lite-bright

Yes, DD1 can certainly be a grump at times. 

I left her and DD2 at a friend's house last weekend while I went to the gym. They said she complained the whole time, but when I got there, she was all, "I don't want to leave! We could have a new life here! We could LIVE here!" lol. 

Other times I think she comes off more testy than she means to because she doesn't get some of the subtleties of communication. This morning I was snuggling with her to wake her up, and she ordered me to go get her a PB sandwich and bring it to her in bed. *snort* I told her she was being rude and she asked why it was rude -- she hadn't said please, she was using a bossy tone, etc. I explained that. I know in that moment it was just morning crabbies because she was just waking up, but I also know she doesn't always understand how she comes off.