Presence of SO during birth?

chirico3

SuzanneOlov said:

This might have been said but doesn't the fact that he's decided to get the salmonella test tell you that he wants to be there? I get that birth is not as pretty as we all hope it will be but I would guess he wants to be there for the birth of his child and he's just telling you what you want to here so you don't feel bad. I could never ask my husband to leave me when I need him the most.

I don't know... I have tried to ask him again if he knows what he wants to do, he replied he doesn't know. He says it seems such a faraway event that he can't even realize what he wants to do (it's less than one month and a half away, though!). SO in the meantime he'll take the test just in case.
BTW, he needs to take the test even to be with me during labor, not only to be present for the pushing.

emh81

I imagine my DH will be relaxing with cigars and brandy on the terrace while I give birth...
'Eff that, if have to be there, he has to be there. Period. I for one don't buy the "it's a woman's thing" or "how will he ever look at me the same way" ...he won't, neither will I ever look at myself or him the same way. That's the moment he becomes a daddy and I become a mommy and I can't imagine for a second doing that without him.
Think of it from his point of view; Pushing can take HOURS. That would be hours of him in the waiting room with no way to know what is happening with his wife and child. Would you want to have to go through that? I know men are somewhat helpless to us in l&d but I can't imagine how helpless and alone my hubs would feel in another room down the hall with no way to know what was going on.

Ecrall1993

I've been trying to figure this out too. We have a very bad family dynamic and have lots of issues. My pregnancy has been very hard and filled with drama. Which I'm afraid my labor and delivery will be me catering to everyone else and playing peace maker between the families so I've thought about telling everyone including my husband that I'm going to be doing this alone. I just want the best birth experience for myself and I feel it would be better that way than any other. But everyone is different.

chirico3

Ecrall1993 said:

I've been trying to figure this out too. We have a very bad family dynamic and have lots of issues. My pregnancy has been very hard and filled with drama. Which I'm afraid my labor and delivery will be me catering to everyone else and playing peace maker between the families so I've thought about telling everyone including my husband that I'm going to be doing this alone. I just want the best birth experience for myself and I feel it would be better that way than any other. But everyone is different.

chirico3

chirico3 said:

Ecrall1993 said:

I've been trying to figure this out too. We have a very bad family dynamic and have lots of issues. My pregnancy has been very hard and filled with drama. Which I'm afraid my labor and delivery will be me catering to everyone else and playing peace maker between the families so I've thought about telling everyone including my husband that I'm going to be doing this alone. I just want the best birth experience for myself and I feel it would be better that way than any other. But everyone is different.

I would hate such situation! Can you ask your husband to be the only one there for you, may be call the parents/relatives later?

Letrise11

I agree with the other posts that this may be a cultural thing... But, when I go into labor, I can't imagine not having my Husband there. It's his baby too and that's a moment that we won't get back. Even if he says it's not important to him, you don't want to rob him of that experience. Good luck with your decision and delivery!