Push presents

ed16564

Okay, so I know this is so not on the radar of anyone yet but I am watching one of my favorite vloggers on youtube and she is talking about this Celine bag her husband got her as a "push" present. (UO girls, oh no, is this going to become another purse rant!?!). I don't know much about anything, so I looked it up and these are like $3,000 bags. I can understand a small token gift as a "push present"- maybe an initial necklace with the babies initial, or something like a spa gift card to use when you're all healed up and need a mommy's day out. But seriously, beyond that am I the only one who thinks push presents are stupid, and that if you're worried about showering your wife in extravagant gifts that MAYBE you've got your priorities wrong?

FEEL FREE to disagree.... just my thoughts, I wondered what others thought. 

WolFox

There was a UO thread posted just today. 

I had never heard of a push present before a year or two ago, so I have no idea what's 'appropriate.' However, if someone can afford it, why the hell not? It's none of my business. 

ed16564

@WolFox It just seems like at the time a babies being born you should be thinking about them. I am a firm believer in loving your spouse first, but it seems so odd to  me. 

ed16564

@mrsrexmaning did you eat the whole thing?!??! 

ed16564

@mrsrexmaning PS love your soggy

DLpanda08

The concept of a push present seems odd to me, but if that's how people want to spend their money (and it doesn't impact their ability to feed and clothe their child) then it doesn't bother me.

@mrsrexmanning I like your idea of a push present. Large deli sandwiches make excellent gifts for all occasions.

WolFox

ed16564 said:

@WolFox It just seems like at the time a babies being born you should be thinking about them. I am a firm believer in loving your spouse first, but it seems so odd to  me. 

I think that's THE POINT of the push present. To acknowledge the mother. Everyone is paying attention to the baby and the Mom is under a lot of new stress and healing. She's still important and just went through a big experience. I don't think giving a gift to a mother is taking anything at all away from the new baby. 

I don't know. Unless you know someone who was given crack or heroine by their partner after they gave birth, I'm not going to think too much about or judge other people's push presents. 

Milagros315

The phrase "push present" grosses me out for some reason.

I don't really care what other people do. If you have the money and you want to celebrate with a gift, go for it. It's probably not going to be something we're thinking about if we ever get to that point. We've spent enough extra money already.

Pintobean39

Can I have a present for no reason? The UO today got me wanting a new purse. I can call it a push present, I've been pushing the syringes in my stomach.

Pookieson

I had never, ever heard of a push present until I just read this.  I'm down with the sub though.  Do they have a "slice me open" present?  I have to have a repeat c/s, am I getting screwed out of a 6 foot sub?  

That being said, I don't give a shit what people spend their money on.  

ilovedesi

My push present was my daughter, that was all I needed.  But if a husband wants to get his wife a gift then that's fine by me, labor is hard work!

RAHENOS

Hypothetically I love the idea of my husband thinking of me for all the hard work I'd done, but I do hate the term 'push present'.. I would rather it just be something he did because he wanted to and he personally felt I deserved it. I would never demand it of him. If I felt I needed to be rewarded more than getting to take home my baby, I'd go online and buy my own damn present

gscoville

I had never even heard the term 'push present' until I joined TB. In the end, I don't judge the fact that a present is given, no matter how big or small, but if mom demands something expensive I would totally judge the hell out of her. I think if the daddy/partner wants to get mommy something special that's great, but it should be their choice, out of their heart to give, it should not be something that is demanded or expected just for the sake of being expensive or a show-off/status piece.

ed16564

I guess maybe thats my problem. When it becomes a "thing" it DOESNT feel like the daddy/husband is doing it because they want to but more that society is telling them they should do it (kind of like valentines day)- so they do it. It doesn't mean it can't be genuine, just kind of takes the sweetness out of it and makes it feel expected. Thankfully few people seem to actually practice genuine push presents, so hopefully my H will never hear of them.  

nina&bill

I've heard of them before.(Very popular on the celebrity baby news... they've been asking lately, "did you get a push-present?") I think that its up to the husband!  I think its gross and unfair if the mom demands it after they find out they are KU.  I think of all gifts as something freely given and freely taken.  If its demanded or a new requirement for a baby, that is awful. 

jlbeanza

I didn't expect nor ask for anything, but my husband gave me an inexpensive but beautiful locket to keep a picture of my daughter in, and gave it to to me while I was having horrible contractions. He also had all of my family members and friends leave me encouraging voicemails on his phone and played them while I was in labor. Yes, I got to take home a beautiful baby too, but the thoughtfulness of my husband made me love him even more during that very emotional and exhausting day. If the thing that gets you through labor is a $3,000 bag and you can easily afford it, who cares? I don't judge.

However, I do think the term "push present" is gross.

mommy2C

My dh gave me a white gold and emerald pendant necklace. The emerald is my daughter's birth stone so it signifies her and it means a lot to me. My inlaws gave me emerald stud earrings which I also love although these were "have your gut cut open and a baby ripped out of it" presents rather than "push" presents. I also got a footlong tuna sub and m&m cookies from Subway.

I didn't expect or require presents but they were a nice surprise nonetheless. I don't think there is anything tacky about it and to each their own anyway!

janda426

I have a huge crush on Celine bags

Manateearmz

A live in nanny and a wet nurse. How much do you think that'll set my husband back?

ngolimento

I'm of two minds:

Mind 1)  Squeeeeeee presents!!!

Mind 2) Are you paying me for breeding?  Kinda weird and creepers.

icaughtfire

I've heard the term before but I didn't expect or receive a "push present." My daughter was enough of a gift and seeing how great of a dad my husband is was a great gift too.

Although a huge "Congratulations for pushing that kid out!" cake would not have been turned down. I love cake for any reason.

mmb248

I hate the term because there are lots of ways to get kids that don't involve pushing.

I love the idea because:
1. I want all the presents for all the reasons.
2. Why not acknowledge the mom (or dad) with a gift?

H mentioned getting me a matching band to go on the other side of my engagement ring when we have kids. Hope he still plans to do that!

nikiz628

I guess my "push present" was a lunchmeat sandwich from the 24 hr "cafe" in the hospital (it was after midnight when I was finally allowed to eat/drink after delivery). DH picked it out all by himself!

I still think its the best tasting sandwich I have ever eaten! I am sure the fact that I was not allowed to eat for the entire day and that I had just pushed out a human didn't sway that opinion at all.

Gargita

When I had DS, I thought the entire concept was totally ridiculous...In retrospect, a coupon book for 10 free naps and 10 free "sleep in while I take care of the baby" mornings would have been a gift beyond measure.  DS was (and continues to be) the gift.

MAdams728

I think the hype surrounding it is ridiculous. The idea itself is old, though. My grandmothers were both given flowers and small jewelry after the births of their children when the father was allowed back to see her. That was customary then. Now it's turned into a "gimme stuff and one-up our friends" type of thing.

I feel like my daughter's safe delivery was my present. My husband takes care of us every day, and I didn't need him to reward me for having a baby.

And I definitely made him go get me a delicious Subway sandwich after labor. I was a rule follower and didn't have lunch meat the whole time, so that was a damn good sandwich!

norweigan

They are really common around where I live, and I am of the opinion that if you can afford it, why is it a big deal if a dad wants to give it to the mom? Should they be expected? No. But are they stupid? No. For a lot of women they are seen as heirlooms. Kind of like a present people give each other on their wedding day. The gift is now something connected to one of the most important days of the mother's life.

trinitrotoluene

My husband's family gives cake to the mom when the baby is born. I knew marrying him was a good idea.

JNCPro3130

I've heard of it and I think it is becoming popular in my area.  I don't have a problem with it, but I kind of don't see the point.  I feel like after I give birth, I won't be thinking, "Hey, where is my present?"  I WANT the focus to be on our new baby.  I feel like mother's day and father's day is the time for the attention to be on the parents.  Whatever though.  As others have said, if you can afford it and the SO wants to, go for it.  

wishiwaspreggo

Eh, I can see both sides to this. I personally would rather just get spoiled on Mother's Day and have my baby's birthday be all about him/her. A baby would be the greatest "push gift" of all, as others said. I wouldn't mind a meal of my choice once labor and delivery are over, of course. And I'll expect someone to run out and get it for me as soon as I ask for it. I better warn C in advance

Abs211981

WolFox said:

ed16564 said:

@WolFox It just seems like at the time a babies being born you should be thinking about them. I am a firm believer in loving your spouse first, but it seems so odd to  me. 

I think that's THE POINT of the push present. To acknowledge the mother. Everyone is paying attention to the baby and the Mom is under a lot of new stress and healing. She's still important and just went through a big experience. I don't think giving a gift to a mother is taking anything at all away from the new baby. 

I don't know. Unless you know someone who was given crack or heroine by their partner after they gave birth, I'm not going to think too much about or judge other people's push presents. 

I agree with this but also at the same time wouldn't be disappointed if my DH didn't get a push present, as I wouldn't be expecting one.  One of my best friends did receive a massive diamond and emerald ring as a push present..that thing was insane!

nswain85

I have heard of this before but never really gave it much thought... my cousin gave his wife Brighton watches after she had each of her kids but that is all I have heard of. I'm not gonna lie, if DH wants to give me a gift and he thinks of it on his own then I would be thrilled and thankful but if he doesn't it's fine, not a biggie. I do love the idea of cake though! The birth of my baby  would be an amazing excuse to celebrate with cake!