This is going to fall under the category of TMI - but I have to tell you guys! I was in my boss's office giving him an update on some stuff - just leaning on the doorframe chattering away when all of a sudden - BWAPPPPP. I totally farted. Except - it wasn't a "traditional" fart - it was a - um - a queef. (Queef: blast of air coming from your female nether-regions) They ALWAYS happen to me right before AF begins - no idea why - but it just happens. And - unlike the "traditional" version, I cannot simply clench my cheeks together and hold it in - they are a force to be reckoned with - they come with NO warning and they just refuse to be stopped. (I've even done Kegel exercises to see if that helps - no dice.) So, I start talking louder and tapping on the doorframe (metal) to make as much noise as possible - then beat feet to the ladies room as soon as I can get myself out of the conversation - making quiet little duck fart noises as I'm walking away.
I'm 98% certain that no one heard anything - but still - I'm hunched down in my office hoping everyone will just leave me alone! Anyone else have any mortifying tales to share?