So embarrassed...ugh!!! — The Bump

So embarrassed...ugh!!!

This is going to fall under the category of TMI - but I have to tell you guys!  I was in my boss's office giving him an update on some stuff - just leaning on the doorframe chattering away when all of a sudden - BWAPPPPP.  I totally farted.  Except - it wasn't a "traditional" fart - it was a - um - a queef.  (Queef: blast of air coming from your female nether-regions)  They ALWAYS happen to me right before AF begins - no idea why - but it just happens.  And - unlike the "traditional" version, I cannot simply clench my cheeks together and hold it in - they are a force to be reckoned with - they come with NO warning and they just refuse to be stopped.  (I've even done Kegel exercises to see if that helps - no dice.)  So, I start talking louder and tapping on the doorframe (metal) to make as much noise as possible - then beat feet to the ladies room as soon as I can get myself out of the conversation - making quiet little duck fart noises as I'm walking away. 

I'm 98% certain that no one heard anything - but still - I'm hunched down in my office hoping everyone will just leave me alone!  Anyone else have any mortifying tales to share?

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Re: So embarrassed...ugh!!!

  • I had this happen at work once.  Everytime I moved, I queefed.  I even had the walking queefs.  It seemed like it lasted a long time, but was probably just a few minutes.  I am pretty sure my boss could totally hear it.




    TTC #1 since August 2011

    My Blog

    September 2012: Start IF testing

    DH (32): SA is ok, slightly low morph, normal SCSA  Me (32): Slightly low progesterone, hostile CM, carrier for CF, Moderately high NKC, High TNFa, heterozyogous mutated Factor XIII, and +APA

    October 2012-May 2014: 4 failed IUIs, 3 failed IVFs, and 1 failed FETw/donor embryos

    November 2014: IVF w/ICSI #4 Agonist/Antagonist with EPP and Prednisone, Baby Aspirin, Lovenox, and IVIG for immune issues.  Converted to freeze all due to lining issues.  2 blasts frozen on day 6!

    January 2015: FET #2 Cancelled due to lining issues

    April 2015: FET #2.1

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  • LOL!
    TTC since May/June 2012 
    Sept 2013 testing:
    SA #1 Low motility (17%) 
    SA #2 Lower sperm count, but much higher motility
    CD 3 Bloodwork and ultrasound - Normal HSG - Clear tubes 
    Oct/Nov 2013 Cycle 1 with RE 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI BFN  
    Nov/Dec 2013 Cycle 2 with RE 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI BFN 
    Jan/Feb 2014 Cycle 3 with RE 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI BFN 
    2/20/14 Follow up consult RE recommends IVF with ICSI 
    3/10/14 New patient consult with RMA NJ 
    3/11/14 AMH and other Bloodwork to prep for IVF with ICSI at RMA NJ
    3/28/14 Saline Sonogram - All good
    March/April 2014 IVF #1 Antagonist Protocol
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    4/17/14 Fert Report 22 Mature 21 Fertilized w/ ICSI
    4/22/14 Report #2 15 BLASTS
    5/24/14 FET!!!  (Transferring 2 snowflakes)
    6/2/14 Beta #1 575!!! :)
    6/4/14 Beta #2 2060!!! :)
    6/11/14 1st Ultrasound...Saw 2 Gestational Sacs!!  Beta #3 34,312!!! 
    6/18/14 2nd Ultrasound...Heartbeats!! Baby A 112bpm Baby B 117bmp <3 Beta #4 172,080!!!
    6/25/14 3rd Ultrasound...Heartbeats!! Baby A 150bpm Baby B 158bpm <3 Beta #5 232,134!!! 
    7/3/14 4th Ultrasound...Heartbeats!! Baby A 173bpm Baby B 162bpm <3 Beta #6 269,228!!!
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  • I'm cracking up! Thanks for making me smile :)

  • Lol! That's funny but totally embarrassing.
    TTC Since 2012
    Me: Endo Stage IV (20+yrs) (who knew? Not me)
    MyLove: Pretty Ok. Low #s (i think) 
    IVF#1: No Eggs to Retrieve
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  • omgosh. I hear you on not been able to clench down and hold them in. Unlike the GI variety, I never get the sense they are going to sneak out until it's too late.

  • Ohhhhh gees!!! I'm so sorry you found yourself in this embarrassing situation!!! It sounds like you did a good job covering it up, but still!!! Thanks for sharing :)

    Fortunately for me, I work with kids in a noisy environment, so we all get away with a lot ;)

    Me: 32 DH: 35  TTC#1 since March 2012
    Dx: Poor Embryo Quality, Arcuate Uterus, Poor Uterine Blood Flow, Mild Endo, 
           Protein S Deficiency, Sjorgen's Syndrome 

    IUI #1-5: BFN
    Laparoscopy & Hysteroscopy: minimal endo, partial septoplasty
    IVF #1: 10R/6M/6F ~ Day 3 ET = BFN
    IVF #2: 14R/9M/5F ~ transfer canceled ~ all embryos arrested at 1-2 cell stage
    IVF #3: 9R/5M/5F ~ 1 frosty!
    IVF #4 (FET #1): BFN

    IVF #5 (DE IVF #1 with Dr. KK protocol): Currently PREGNANT!!!!!!
    Synthroid + Prednisone + Metformin + Baby Aspirin + Supplements Galore = 15+ pills a day
    Lupron + Lovenox + Delestrogen + IVIG + B/W = 2-5 pokes a day
    19R, 17M, 17F - transferred two Grade A blasts 11/16, four frosties!!!
    Beta #1 11/24 (13dpo/8dp5dt) = 367 ~ Beta #2 11/26 (15dpo/10dp5dt) = 709
    Beta #3 11/29 (18dpo/13dp5dt) = 1,997 ~ Beta #4 12/1 (20dpo/15dp5dt) = 3,403


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