May 2014 Moms
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Sh*t people say...

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Re: Sh*t people say...

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    After my growth scan last Thursday, Dr came in the room and announced "Somebody is going for the record!" DD2 is measuring in the 98%ile, and all measurements were 2-4 weeks ahead of schedule. I've been telling this dude my kid will arrive early since we met him around 21w. She's proving my point by clawing at and head butting my cervix nonstop this week. I give it another 2-3 week's tops before it's just as done with the abuse as I am.
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    I got one today from the new girl at the office. I walked in and she hasn't seen me in a few weeks. And as I take off my jacket and start chit chatting, she's all how are you feeling, you must be getting so ready, and then "You don't look to bad" literally those words came out of her mouth. I've never been tiny, I've always had a belly, and hearing those words come out of her mouth I just ignored them but inside I was like WTF! And she is tiny and doesn't have any kids yet, but seriously girl, filter! Am I supposed to look awful with a month and a half to go? I've actually been feeling great so far this pregnancy other than the morning sickness at the beginning and now driving around, and sitting at my desk about kills me every day, but I try to not let it show, and most people wouldn't even know that I'm in any pain or uncomfortable at all, but thanks at least I don't look to bad. :/
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    I am finding it annoying lately, not what people say, but some people I work with literally just stare at my bump. Like, while having a conversation with me, no eye contact, just bump staring. This is from men and women. I look like a pregnant lady, NOT a freak of nature. No need to stare, I know it's there too.

    If I wasn't pregnant it would be grounds for a sexual harassment complaint in some cases, but there's a baby in there, no need to respect me!
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    I have a laundry list of stupid shit people have said. Mostly co-workers, which I believe should be required to keep their mouths shut! But let's start with this one - I'm 32 weeks now and this was said Monday.....
    Co worker, " I didn't realize you were pregnant until last week.."
    Me: " yes I'm due at the end of May"..... While looking horribly confused like seriously are you blind....

    Coworker: in relation to another co worker.... "Yeah it's not like when Jen was pregnant she's so tiny you knew immediately..... You were never really skinny so I didn't notice"


    Me: "ohhh yeah" whole thinking you're right I was never a size 2 but I was only a size 12 when I got pregnant. I've gained 50 lbs, at this point.... Please don't tell me 50lbs ago I looked 8 f'ing months pregnant....


    I just politely walked away thinking..... May you get hot by a bus on your way home!!
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    libbylu7 said:
    Oh I have another doozy today. I was taking to my midwife about BFing and I said my mum couldn't BF me. She said: "It's a shame you can't ask her advice anymore because she died". Yeah. Way to make me feel like an emotional wreck with nobody to turn to. Baby must have heard her because she was karate kicking her when she was using the Doppler. Midwife called her "feisty". She's just got her mama's back!
    Wow, that was pretty shitty for her to say! :-/ Sorry for her rudeness!!
    Yeah i was pretty upset, but brushed it off. Then I tried to tell DH and just full on ugly cried. It was really out of the blue.

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    09/23/11 - Married DH

    04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks

    05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d

    08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d

    09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!  

    10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!

    12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!

    05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!

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    This dude at work thinks it's comedy gold to come up to me every day and say things like "I heard a rumor that you're pregnant...but I just don't see it!" or "You're not having a baby, are you?" because my bump is actually quite huge and he must think that jokes about this are hilllllaaaaarious!

    Mommy to my sweet boy, JG, born May 15, 2014

    Baby #2 due 4/26/16!

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    My dental hygienist thIs morning says, as she is six inches from my face with her hands in my mouth, 'so is your face breaking out a lot from the pregnancy?' Obviously, b@%$! It was early and I didn't have any makeup on and clearly I'm dealing with a breakout. This is the same lady that I had to tell I was preggo at 5-6 weeks that I was preggo so they wouldn't do x-rays and she tells me 'well it's early still. I had a mc at 10 weeks'. This morning she says 'oh we can't do the X-rays. I didn't know if you'd still be pregnant'. Huh!? Then she proceed to tell me her labor stories as I'm stuck listening since I can't change subject or respond w her hands in my mouth.
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    Ok, I cannot stand the unwarranted terrible labor stories from random women, I am scared enough of the pain and pressure... Let me be!

    And when my good friends tell me how huge I am.. I am almost 9 months pregnant. Aren't I suppose to be big!?!?! Ahhhhhhh! I already feel miserable, big, and uncomfy. Is it necessary to be so damn rude?

    And I cannot stand when people say something rude about what you have decided to name your child. Unless it's something atrocious then please people shut your damn mouth. Gawd!!!
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    awc1986awc1986 member
    edited March 2014
    We toured the delivery unit of the hospital today. You know how there's always one on any kind of tour who has to ask questions about everything, but the question ultimately leads to a story about them. Oh we had a doozy. 5 mins in I knew she was having a membrane sweep at 39 weeks. Great. Anyway, she came up with this little gem:

    "So how likely is it that one of these rooms will be available when I come in?"

    Yes. I'll just get my crystal ball and find out how many women are going to give birth on that particular day. The midwife looked at her like "WTF?" and just said "well, we don't really know how busy we'll be from day to day".

    Seriously.

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    09/23/11 - Married DH

    04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks

    05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d

    08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d

    09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!  

    10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!

    12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!

    05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!

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    Showed off my maternity photos to family today. I feel like they came out great and one of them makes me look like a model. My DH's Grandma says "It looks like he's going to be a pretty big baby!" Um, at 32 weeks, this is the first time that I actually look pregnant! Way to make me feel bad now....
    May 14 Jan Siggy Challenge New Years resolutions I will not keep: Saving Money
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    My Dad has been making comments for a while. Several have been "welcome to pregnancy" and other stupid crap. Yesterday we went to the store and he asked how I was sleeping, I told him like crap because of my hips. His response, "that's not because you're pregnant, it's because of your weight."

    First of all, at 8 months pregnant I am just now hitting my pre-preg weight. Second, thanks ass hat for making me feel self conscious about my body when I'm already plus-size...this is an almost daily thing so I hate living with them right now.
    In memory of the angel babies that were too perfect for Earth.

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    Ok, I cannot stand the unwarranted terrible labor stories from random women, I am scared enough of the pain and pressure... Let me be!  
    This. I get unwarranted pregnancy/labor stories from friends, family, coworkers, strangers. My SIL is amazing and I love her, but I've heard her labor story at least 57 times now. Yes, thank you, it's a connection, but I have to keep stressing to her that every pregnancy and labor is different, and I'm really just listening to my doctors at this point. 
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    Oh, and let's add to that unsolicited advice from friends, family, coworkers, and strangers. If I don't ask, please don't tell me. As a FTM, the information overload is already overwhelming enough. I don't want to try to figure out how to apply everybody else's stories into something that could maybe work for me. 
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    When we were down at Myrtle Beach this weekend we went to the outlet stores with our friends who live down there. Our friends are married and have a little 2 y/o boy. While the mom was in a store returning something the guys and I (and the LO) went to a tool store. I walked around with the little boy for a bit and he was so cute asking what everything was (I have no clue! haha). Little boy's dad came over and was talking to him. One of the store clerks walked up and asked our friend (who obviously he thought was my hubby) if we knew what the next one was (motioning to my belly). My fiancé walked up and said it's a girl, it's mine. The little boy is his (to our friend). At which point the store clerk gave me a weird look like, really woman, both men shopping with you? Haha was kinda awkward until the little boy's mom came into meet us in the store.
    As we were leaving (like OBVIOUS walking out the door) the store clerk practically jumped in front of my fiancé and proceeded to give us advice on how to do things in the hospital. "Don't be afraid to ask for the pain meds RIGHT AWAY! My wife went in and was 3cm and when she ...." blah blah blah! I don't want your wife's labor story! He wouldn't let us get out of the store!! I love that people in the south are so nice and talk to you but PLEASE let me out of the store and away from your unwanted stories! I looked at hubby and said "I need some air. I don't feel so good" and just walked away while the guy was still talking! Haha 
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    **Lighting a candle in memory of our angel babies and angel mama in heaven from May'14**
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    spacepotatoesspacepotatoes member
    edited March 2014
    My first shower was this weekend. My father, who up until now has not said a negative word to/about my body (at least in my presence), thought it would be hilarious to start making fat jokes as the guests arrived. Thankfully, the first few guests he said it to shut that shit down really fast. That and the "I will cut you" look I threw him. I'm still waiting for an apology.
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    @ArmyMedic7588‌ wtf? Random people's birth stories are a new one... I have people I know tell me their stories-even though I never want to hear it. But a random dude???
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    I have this issue too. I failed to show until 8 months but yes...I realize most of my weight went to my hips. Congrats Sherlock.
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    Saturday I had a client (who is also a family friend) tell me that my face looked puffy. It was the first thing out of her mouth. First off, I haven't once noticed any swelling in my face and I see it every fucking morning in the mirror. Second, my mom is the first person who would tell me if I looked bad and even she was like WTF. To be clear, I don't give a shit if my face is swollen or not, but don't say it is if it isn't!!! Who the fuck says that anyway?!?!!!?! IMO people who have been pregnant before should be even more sympathetic to those of us going through it now. What woman in her 3rd tri wants to be reminded of how shitty she looks? I mean, really!!!
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    @kelseyandrobert Wow.  All I'm saying is this.  If a woman comes in to a store, or an event that's clearly pregnancy related...  Don't assume she's fat.  Don't assume she's not pregnant.  Hell, don't assume she is pregnant.  Why does this even need to come up?
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    Today my SIL greeted me with "hey big mama!" :-w

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    09/23/11 - Married DH

    04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks

    05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d

    08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d

    09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!  

    10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!

    12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!

    05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!

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    My first shower was this weekend. My father, who up until now has not said a negative word to/about my body (at least in my presence), thought it would be hilarious to start making fat jokes as the guests arrived. Thankfully, the first few guests he said it to shut that shit down really fast. That and the "I will cut you" look I threw him. I'm still waiting for an apology.
    Maybe he was just making fun of our guests?  :)
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    Before I even sat down at my desk this morning, I was chatting with this lady who is normally very nice, but has her blind moments of "My experiences are the only true facts of life". She can be quite narrow-minded at times ..

    Lady: so are you going to keep [DD1] at home with you while you're on maternity leave?
    Me: umm, maybe part time, but I think we'll keep her on her usual schedule of going to grandma's house.
    Lady: OH, really?? (with confused look)
    Me: yeah, I think it'll be good for her to have her routine most days so there's a sense of normalcy.
    Lady: (with a stupid smile on her face) well I guess that works for people who don't want to be around their children! (laughing to try and not sound rude) But you'd think "if mom's home, the kids should be too"... but whatever works for your family! (still laughing)

    so apparenty I don't like my children or want to be around them ...

    I wanted to punch her >:-O
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    Before I even sat down at my desk this morning, I was chatting with this lady who is normally very nice, but has her blind moments of "My experiences are the only true facts of life". She can be quite narrow-minded at times .. Lady: so are you going to keep [DD1] at home with you while you're on maternity leave? Me: umm, maybe part time, but I think we'll keep her on her usual schedule of going to grandma's house. Lady: OH, really?? (with confused look) Me: yeah, I think it'll be good for her to have her routine most days so there's a sense of normalcy. Lady: (with a stupid smile on her face) well I guess that works for people who don't want to be around their children! (laughing to try and not sound rude) But you'd think "if mom's home, the kids should be too"... but whatever works for your family! (still laughing) so apparenty I don't like my children or want to be around them ... I wanted to punch her >:-O
    Judgy folks like this can get right the eff out of here with that nonsense. Also, why WOULDN'T you keep your DD1's routine? Maternity leave is for mama and new baby. I mean, really.

    laurblum‌ and @kelseyandrobert, I'm right there with you ladies in that I don't need to hear about how pregnant I look in my face. I don't think I do, first of all, but second of all no one wants to hear that! And I find sometimes the comments from people who have had kids are even worse, because they have a false sense of expertise in the area.

    Mommy to my sweet boy, JG, born May 15, 2014

    Baby #2 due 4/26/16!

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    Before I even sat down at my desk this morning, I was chatting with this lady who is normally very nice, but has her blind moments of "My experiences are the only true facts of life". She can be quite narrow-minded at times .. Lady: so are you going to keep [DD1] at home with you while you're on maternity leave? Me: umm, maybe part time, but I think we'll keep her on her usual schedule of going to grandma's house. Lady: OH, really?? (with confused look) Me: yeah, I think it'll be good for her to have her routine most days so there's a sense of normalcy. Lady: (with a stupid smile on her face) well I guess that works for people who don't want to be around their children! (laughing to try and not sound rude) But you'd think "if mom's home, the kids should be too"... but whatever works for your family! (still laughing) so apparenty I don't like my children or want to be around them ... I wanted to punch her >:-O
    Yeah. Punch her.
    So much punching required. 
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    Yeah, she's so narrow-minded about stuff sometimes, it's ridiculous. She doesn't even have kids, but thinks because her mother had 12 (like 50yrs ago) and that she's "known and talked to tons of pregnant women" that she knows all there is to know about the subject.

    She also told me she thinks the "not laying on your back for extended periods of time" and "laying on the left side is best" recommendations are a bunch of hooey and has never heard of those things ...

    so clearly, modern medicine and research are to be ignored. ::SHM::
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    @RugbyMamma‌ - you should have said you hate kids. That's why you keep having them. So you can palm them off on other people. Some people are idiots.

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    09/23/11 - Married DH

    04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks

    05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d

    08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d

    09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!  

    10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!

    12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!

    05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!

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    I ordered sushi at a sushi restaurant (duh). The waitress actually asked if it was safe for me to eat sushi after I ordered. Seriously?

    Also, a friend of mine freaked out in the grocery store as I bought a bottle of wine because "people are going to look at you funny" - apparently, I am a sushi eating wine drinking heathen. People judgey much?
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    XathXath member

    I ordered sushi at a sushi restaurant (duh). The waitress actually asked if it was safe for me to eat sushi after I ordered. Seriously?



    Also, a friend of mine freaked out in the grocery store as I bought a bottle of wine because "people are going to look at you funny" - apparently, I am a sushi eating wine drinking heathen. People judgey much?

    Haha. When I was 7 months pregnant with DS1 I was stocking up on hard liquor for a party we were throwing. I had 6 bottles of vodka, whiskey and rum and was getting some serious side-eye from the clerks.
    Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture 
     DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
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    Kddale13Kddale13 member
    edited April 2014
    I just love how people say "well what if it's a boy?" Or "so your carrying in such and such a way, your having a boy aren't you!" Seriously, I've had ultrasounds that confirm it's a girl, and one just a couple of weeks ago. I clearly know there is a chance it's a boy but why do people always want to add to your anxiety! My MIL even said today, "do you have boy names?" I'm so over it! Washing all my girl cloths right now :)
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    "You are starting to waddle!"



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    Woke up from my nap to this little gem from my MOM when she commented on my weekly bump picture. "You didn't take after me I never got that fat. heffer!!! You're adorable and it's obvious it's all baby" ... was that like a back handed compliment?

    It's a BOY










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    I ordered sushi at a sushi restaurant (duh). The waitress actually asked if it was safe for me to eat sushi after I ordered. Seriously?

    Also, a friend of mine freaked out in the grocery store as I bought a bottle of wine because "people are going to look at you funny" - apparently, I am a sushi eating wine drinking heathen. People judgey much?
    Haha. When I was 7 months pregnant with DS1 I was stocking up on hard liquor for a party we were throwing. I had 6 bottles of vodka, whiskey and rum and was getting some serious side-eye from the clerks.
    Sometimes I meander down the liquor aisle just to test people

    image

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    09/23/11 - Married DH

    04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks

    05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d

    08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d

    09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!  

    10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!

    12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!

    05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!

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    We were on a car lot a few weeks ago and dh went to the bathroom and left me to look alone. The salesman who had been stalking us from afar for a few minutes already walks up to join me... He looks at me and asks how far along I am and then does the "penquin walk" ... You know arms straight and hands turned out, and says "yea I thought so I saw you waddling (insert penquin walk here) up the sidewalk when you came in..... Uh...ummmm Yea we left as soon as dh came out of the bathroom and never went back...
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    RoufiRoufi member
    hdchafin said:

    We were on a car lot a few weeks ago and dh went to the bathroom and left me to look alone. The salesman who had been stalking us from afar for a few minutes already walks up to join me... He looks at me and asks how far along I am and then does the "penquin walk" ... You know arms straight and hands turned out, and says "yea I thought so I saw you waddling (insert penquin walk here) up the sidewalk when you came in..... Uh...ummmm Yea we left as soon as dh came out of the bathroom and never went back...

    Total jackass!!!!
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    ArmyMedic7588ArmyMedic7588 member
    edited April 2014
    Kddale13 said:
    I just love how people say "well what if it's a boy?" Or "so your carrying in such and such a way, your having a boy aren't you!" Seriously, I've had ultrasounds that confirm it's a girl, and one just a couple of weeks ago. I clearly know there is a chance it's a boy but why do people always want to add to your anxiety! My MIL even said today, "do you have boy names?" I'm so over it! Washing all my girl cloths right now :)
    My mother does this!! I hate it! She keeps telling me that the ultrasound must be wrong cause I'm all baby and super tiny and thats how she was with my brother. She said she loves the name we picked for her then proceeds to ask "well if it's a boy did you think of a name for that too?" As if I wasn't nervous enough thanks mom!!
    She also keeps reminding me how her mom had all 5 of her kids 2 weeks early and she (my mom) delivered both of us kids about 10 days early. "So you're gonna be just like us and be early". Ma stop saying that!! We have our best friend's wedding to be in 9 days before! DH is the best man!! I can't miss this wedding!!

    ETA: cause I spaced on the second half of that for like 5 mins until I gave up and hit submit... then remembered it! Pregnancy brain I can't wait for you to go back to normal!
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    **Lighting a candle in memory of our angel babies and angel mama in heaven from May'14**
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    QOTRQOTR member
    Roufi said:
    We were on a car lot a few weeks ago and dh went to the bathroom and left me to look alone. The salesman who had been stalking us from afar for a few minutes already walks up to join me... He looks at me and asks how far along I am and then does the "penquin walk" ... You know arms straight and hands turned out, and says "yea I thought so I saw you waddling (insert penquin walk here) up the sidewalk when you came in..... Uh...ummmm Yea we left as soon as dh came out of the bathroom and never went back...
    Total jackass!!!!
    Ok, this isn't pregnancy related, but when I was car shopping a few years ago, I mentioned to the sales guy that I was looking for a specific color of the car model.  He said - "oh yes, that's really popular with the middle-aged ladies".  I replied... "you're really bad at this!".   We bought at a different dealership.   You'd think that people who are dependent on commission would have better people skills!
    Me-41, Hubby-40.
    1st BFP-8/17/12!  Missed Miscarriage discovered @ 8 week US.  D&C.
    2nd BFP-2/13/13!  Blighted Ovum discovered @ 8 week US. Natural miscarriage.
    3rd BFP-5/22/13!  By early June, progesterone plummeting.  Another loss.
    August 2013 - started Donor Egg process, but surprise BFP with my own eggs.
    Dear Son born 5/28/14
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    I ordered sushi at a sushi restaurant (duh). The waitress actually asked if it was safe for me to eat sushi after I ordered. Seriously?

    Also, a friend of mine freaked out in the grocery store as I bought a bottle of wine because "people are going to look at you funny" - apparently, I am a sushi eating wine drinking heathen. People judgey much?
    Nice.  Given that the concern with eating sushi is about us getting food poisoning from contaminated fish, maybe she was trying to tell you something about their food...
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