TTC and miscarriages in 40s — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

TTC and miscarriages in 40s

I am 42. I have a daughter who is 24 and a son who is 2. in the past year my husband and I have been TTC again. We have experienced 2 miscarriages, one in Jan 2013, one in Aug 2013 and Just found out last Thursday that my hcg levels are decreasing and I am most likely going to miscarry again soon. I am currently 7 weeks. My husband and I have had genetic testing done after the 2nd mc and was tested for the blood clotting disorder. All came back fine. When I find out I was pregnant 2 weeks ago my OBGYN tested my progesterone levels and that was good as well. Dr can see no other reason than my age as a factor causing the mcs. She wants to refer me to a reproductive specialist. What can the specialist do for me? has anyone over 40 had positive experiences with a RS? Also, these losses have been devastating. I am experiencing a lot of depression and anxiety with this pregnancy. Not sure how to work through all the emotions. I feel I have to hold so much in and go about life like all is good when inside I am hurting tremendously. Any suggestions for coping? Lastly, I don't want to give up trying. I want so much to have one more child so my youngest will have a sibling close in age. I read about the statistics concerning risks and increased numbers of unhealthy eggs after age 40. It is depressing to read and makes me question if I should continue trying??? lots of what ifs. And high chances of more mcs. My husband and I want so much to have another baby. I would like to hear the thoughts and experiences of other women in their 40s in hopes to help me gain better understanding to help us through this difficult journey.

Re: TTC and miscarriages in 40s

  • I'm so sorry for your losses. I am 40 (will be 41 in April) and have experienced two losses, the most recent was last month, and I've felt so much of what you're feeling as I also tested "normal" for everything else. After my first (last year, when I was still 39) my OB was optimistic about me trying again on my own. After this one, he suggested I "get some help" and meet with an RE at an IVF office down the hall. I had my initial consult three weeks ago and it was very overwhelming and kind of depressing when he went through the statistics that I kind of already knew, but never had laid out all at once before. Overlall, I was glad I went, b/c I got a lot of questions answered, and I like knowing options.

    I know a bunch of women who had kids on their own without problems when they were 40, but the averages still aren't great. If you want to message me, I can get into more details about what the RE said they could do, but basically they start with an analysis to check your egg reserve to see if they can even help you. My DH and I haven't decided how we're going to proceed b/c we used to say we didn't want any kind of intervention, but since we don't have any kids yet, it might be our only logical option.

    There's also a "TTC after 35" board and a separate check-in there for women over 40. I only recently started lurking there, but it might be a good place for you to go to get some answers about women's experiences with REs/IVF. This is a great board for m/c support, and I encourage you to continue seeking support here, but I'd also cross-post on the other board to get more women in that specific stage. Good luck, and sending "over 40" hugs!
    Me: 41, DH: 42, married 2009
    BFP #1: 12/05/2012; EDD 08/09/2013; MC 01/2013 (missed, D&C)
    BFP #2: 12/19/2013; EDD 08/25/2014; MC 01/2014 (natural)
  • I'm so sorry for your losses. I will be 37 in a month and after 3 losses, I'm discouraged too. I recently had someone tell me "what if it all goes right? What if you get a baby to love?" This is pushing me ahead right now.

    I agree with PP about the 35+ board. They are a great group of ladies.

    BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010

    BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011

    BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013

    BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy.  Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)    

                                  <3 We love and miss you Timothy <3

    BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014

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  • I'm so sorry to hear of your losses too. I have just turned 37 and have just had a missed miscarriage, I have felt worried about trying again, and the what if's, but we should never give up hope and I wish you all the best for the future. x

    My mum is a midwife here in the UK, and encourages me, there are plenty of women over 40, coming into the maternity hospital having healthy natural pregnancies, keep smiling and keep trying! x
    [Deleted User]
  • thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers ladies. It is a comfort to talk with other women going through similar experiences. This weekend I miscarried. I am having a hard time holding back tears around others. I had a dr appt thursday to discuss where to go from here. Dr. wants to examine my uterus with a scope to insure nothing is interferring with having a healthy pregnancy. She also referred me to a reporductive specialist. I have to call tomorrow for an appt. I will have to check out the 35+ board you mentioned. Keep in touch. Many Blessings to you all.
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