Pregnancy advice

TXmamatobe

First, I am NOT pregnant. Good Lord that would be insane.

Now that we've all had our LOs (some of us two or three times over), what would be the best piece of pregnancy advice that you would pass on to a newly pregnant friend? Maybe something you wish you would have known or done differently. I'm interested too see what y'all think...

Aycul18

Relax more, work less ;-) when possible of course. We found out we were pregnant and started opening a business at the same time. I highly suggest others refrain from doing so! Too exhausting!

Other than that, I would tell them not to take anything too seriously (I.e. Caffeine, deli meat, sushi, people's comments, unwanted advice, etc)

jy725

Don't miss out on still spending time with friends. I just figured noone would want to hang out with pregnant girl since a lot of our activities include dinner/drinks/bar hopping. I feel sort of out of the loop and miss my friends a lot now. I wish I made more effort to be social then. I hope to reconnect but I am finding it difficult.

boston143

I wish I had focused on really enjoying the alone time with DH. Our relationship is still good but we will never just be US like that again.

KFED103

Never plan how you are going to "do things". Babies have other ideas and you never know how you are going to parent until you are in the situation.

To quickly figure out how to weed out rules and advice. (I personally weed out all the rules and take very little advice)

Lastly, take a chill pill...it's not brain surgery, it's just having a kid

KFED103

Yes @jyparker725 I actually did give that advice to someone after my first. That and ALL the leisurely shopping alone (I said that many times here on the board...someone better have listened!!)

mamaj1220

boston143 said:

I wish I had focused on really enjoying the alone time with DH. Our relationship is still good but we will never just be US like that again.

This. It goes without saying that a baby changes your relationship but I don't think I grasped just how much it would change and wish now we had done more just us.
Don't listen to others delivery stories you will psych yourself out.
Don't expect everything to be perfect like Kfed said babies will change everything you thought you wanted and knew.
And most important BREATHE you will make it through the never ending nine months, you will make it through labor and you will learn the rest as you go

74dragonfly

boston143 said:

I wish I had focused on really enjoying the alone time with DH. Our relationship is still good but we will never just be US like that again.

This

KFED103

Cashingn2 said:

I have a friend that is 37 weeks pregnant. I told her not to get stressed out by all the advice everyone will try to give her and that if she needed anything to let me know..particularly, a shoulder to cry on because the newborn phase is hard. She told me that SHE will decide for herself if the newborn phase is hard and if she needs any advice she will talk to her Mom because if she raised her then she obviously knows what she's doing. I said, "Ok, fuck you too."

You'll be laffin when you see her FB status updates like "OMG 2 hours of sleep in 2 days, I'm gonna lose it, what do I do "

mamaj1220

Also make sure you are comfortable with your OB. It's a crazy nine months and I found I was much happier than most of my friends because I trust and love my OB office, so much less stressful to be comfortable with them

74dragonfly

Cashingn2 said:

I have a friend that is 37 weeks pregnant. I told her not to get stressed out by all the advice everyone will try to give her and that if she needed anything to let me know..particularly, a shoulder to cry on because the newborn phase is hard. She told me that SHE will decide for herself if the newborn phase is hard and if she needs any advice she will talk to her Mom because if she raised her then she obviously knows what she's doing. I said, "Ok, fuck you too."

Wow what a bitch. She will learn. I knew a lot too before I actually had a kid.

TXmamatobe

ballerina10 said:

Don't stop working out! Keep movingn I wish I did because 1. It wouldn't be so hard to get back into it and 2. I think I would ache less during the third tri.

I wish I would have done this...

lilypienmessimy

All of this is amazing advice so far and I wish I took advantage of a lot of it!

My biggest one is go out to dinner more with DH or friends. I did with my friends like every other week so it really was more with my DH. It would be Friday and we would both be so exhausted from the week so we would just order in or pick up something. I wish we went out more! Also, just like @KFED103 said, enjoy every target trip or clothes shopping trip alone! Oh and get ALL the pedis and manis! I haven't had one in 3 months and I used to go every 2-3 weeks!

TXmamatobe

boston143 said:

I wish I had focused on really enjoying the alone time with DH. Our relationship is still good but we will never just be US like that again.

Read this wrong, thought you wrote DD not DH. Still good advice.

Edited for my own dumbassery

cammyisagirlsname

Don't stop working out!! And like others say, hang out with your girlfriends more!!

NurseKMM

@KFED103 I heard your warning at some point in my last trimester, and enjoyed everyone of my last leisurely strolls through target I could. I had no idea how long it can take to get baby and I out the door.

My advice I'd pass on, do not think because you have boobs and a baby, breastfeeding is going to magically work. Research what it takes to breastfeed. It may be natural, but it's not easy. Also, DO NOT be hard on yourself if breastfeeding doesn't work, and you have to supplement or switch EFF.

TXmamatobe

I wish someone would have at least filled me in a tiny bit on the postnatal stuff but then again, it would have scared the shit out of me.

KFED103

NurseKMM said:

@KFED103 I heard your warning at some point in my last trimester, and enjoyed everyone of my last leisurely strolls through target I could. I had no idea how long it can take to get baby and I out the door.
.

Yay! My work here is done

imrachellea

Even if you have a good baby, there will be SOMETHING hard about a newborn. And as soon as you get that figured out, there will be something new that's a challenge.

For pregnancy itself? Let people do stuff for you. I will still be telling myself this next time I'm pregnant because I like to be independent. The only person I was content letting do stuff for me was DH. But people will volunteer to help, TAKE THE HELP. I even had to suck up my pride and let my principal move desks around in my room at the beginning of the year (she is awesome and told me I needed to accept the [necessary] help even when it's hard, she struggled with that herself when she was pregnant).

mamaj1220

TXmamatobe said:

I wish someone would have at least filled me in a tiny bit on the postnatal stuff but then again, it would have scared the shit out of me.

No kidding! I was not prepared for some of that strange shit my body did after and as excited as I was to be the only one in my body I felt empty for a while.

mamashan12

Don't have the whole world over to visit right after the baby is born if you aren't ready for it. We hosted Christmas for both our families and I was so stressed out from everyone passing around my 2 week old, overtired, reflux baby, making a huge mess and doling out advice that I burst into tears once everyone left. Have guests over in spurts, when you are ready!

I also wish I hadn't wasted so much time being terrified of labor. I know I was lucky, but it really wasn't even close to as bad as I built it up to be in my head.

Caitlinh27

I would love to contribute but I just can't bring myself to think about pregnancy right now. Doesn't matter what I wish I would have done differently... Fact of the matter is, it SUCKED!!

bubblesmtu

Do arm workouts- carrying around your LO and the carseat is hard!

Prenatal massages rock

If you can help it, don't be induced - it was a horrible experience for me at least. 46 hours of labor with pitocin then had a c section.

KFED103

Nrg2020 said:

don't feel bad about spending money on maternity clothes.

Unless you are Skylight

TXmamatobe

Nrg2020 said:

don't feel bad about spending money on maternity clothes.

Agree!! Sometimes a cute maternity outfit can salvage a little but of self esteem during pregnancy. There's so many cute things out there that are less expensive now - I pretty much bought out Old Navy maternity.

onewayticket

Take folic acid before you start trying. Take time off before LO comes. Drink lots of water. Don't use pregnancy as an excuse to eat everything and stop working out. Reduce drinking to one drink a night if you could be pregnant. Drink till its pink made me feel guilty once I knew.

onewayticket

Nrg2020 said:

don't feel bad about spending money on maternity clothes.

This reminds me.. Buy maternity clothes that double as nursing clothes.

Ansleyturner

Don't eat all the things while pregnant! My biggest regret.

kbart82

1. SLEEP!!! As much as you can. Go to bed early and sleep in late. I don't think I will be able to do this again for the next 18 years.

2. Don't freak out or get depressed because you didn't have that magical moment when you hold your LO in your arms for the 1st time.
When I held my little man I kept waiting for some overwhelming emotion to happen, that feeling of over joyous love everyone talks about. I didn't get this until two weeks later when everything settled down alittle bit.

RockiesNugget

Keep common sense while reading baby books. Nothing you read is perfect or will you follow only one book perfectly.

While it is great to have an idea of how you will deal with things before the birth, remain flexible because no matter what you plan everything will change once LO arrives.

lifesaverz

ahh, SO much!  I wish I had known what an adjustment it would be, & that although it seems obvious, that the hardest part is the beginning, & it really does get better after 6 weeks.  I wish I had known that it's okay to feel like you wish you could take it back sometimes, because I promise you the next moment you'll fall more in love.  That becoming a mom is a process, & a role you learn to fall in love with as time goes on.   

I also definitely wish I had known how birth can affect the body...I had NO idea that the crazy hormone crash could cause things like nerve shaking in the legs for weeks, or a complete inability to sleep (I ended up in the ER for this, so crazy!).  I always hear about pregnant women/new moms being extremely tired & trying to get naps in whenever they can...I wish I had known that some moms, like me, still have trouble sleeping, no matter how sleep deprived they are.  Or that BFing can be incredibly difficult, so don't expect it to be easy, & get all the help you can!  Also get help early.  And that it IS important to wake your baby every 3-4 hours in the beginning so they don't lose weight.  Be ready with bottles & formula just in case you need to use them, & don't wait to get your pump sanitized & read how to use it til the time when you really need it - do this beforehand!  

Be ready with that hospital bag packed!  Once those contractions start, it's hard to pack or do much of anything!  Distractions are key in labor.  Bring music, watch a TV show, etc.  

I'm sure there's more, but these are the main ones I can think of.  The how birth/hormones can affect the body is the biggest one for me, it was seriously shocking for me, & maybe my experience is rare, but I had no idea these types of reactions were even possible. 

Mrbatesisinnocent

Don't feel silly getting the nursery ready early. I was in L&D at 34weeks6days in labor and was so scared that we would have nothing ready. I don't even think we had a car seat at that point. Thankful labor stalled, but we will be ready for #2 at 30 weeks.

ReggieLou13

Eat better!

penelopemaria

SLEEP!!!!!!!!!

Alexisgamez105

Get all the sleep you can & sleep in
Don't over think how things should be when you have your baby. Everything will fall into place & will come naturally when lo is here.
Enjoy a calm shopping day/spa day

BootsOrHearts

Watch what you eat. It's oh so easy to give in to cravings and pack on the pounds but it's so hard to lose them with a little baby to take care of. 

RockiesNugget

If your DH is taking time off after the birth, limit visitors during the first week at least to only immediate family (or no one at all) with a time limit of 1-2 hours max. You and DH can handle everything fine and it will give you the chance to bond and rest. **With this, have a few meals prepped & in freezer for this week, so you can just heat & eat***

I was initially really disappointed the my mom wasn't able to come out immediately after LO's birth and it would be a couple weeks since she lives out of state. So only DH's parents and a really close friend came to the hospital and then when we got discharged we asked for no visitors immediately. It wasn't what I thought I wanted but it was what I needed.

Ktrue85

Babies breathing can sound REALLY FUCKING WEIRD. I spent so many sleepless nights freaking out over each and every new sound. So my advice is be cautious, not crazy.

kelliskoviraWed244758

Don't try to plan anything...and don't be afraid to follow your instincts once baby is born.

mavgirl_73

Pretty much agree with most of what is said here. However do find it comical how moms with outside babies, many of whom were livid that people were giving them advice (i.e. To sleep, to be prepared, that they would have no idea how things would really be) are now giving most of that same advice. Sorrynotsorry #thinkicalledthisone

clhathaway

Tell everyone to close their lips when they tell you how horrible labor and delivery are. Everyone is different and going in convinced you'll feel like you're dying will just make you tense and things worse. Pitocin is not the devil, again everyone is different and handles medication differently. If you don't like a nurse you have, especially if you're having a hard to bfing, ask for a different one, it will be less stressful if you don't want to punch the person helping you. The same for l&d. Growth spurts suck but remember that same sweet baby is in there and you'll make it thru. Take all the pictures and makes sure someone gets a picture of you holding LO in the hospital right after, everyone took a million pictures of DF or themselves with LO and there are none with me. I regret that the most and actually kind of have this deep down hate for everyone that came to visit because I didn't want them there to begin with but DF called everyone and told them they could come. OH AND THATS ANOTHER THING if you want to be alone, don't be afraid to say it. I hemmoraged(sp?) and DF let his parents and step sister in, they held LO before I got to because I wasn't even aloud to hold a glass of water.