When will gOnnabeadad have sex again? — The Bump
Dads & Dads-to-be

When will gOnnabeadad have sex again?

polooo27polooo27 member
edited February 2014 in Dads & Dads-to-be
Wife is currently 35 weeks pregnant with twins. He was officially cut off 3 weeks ago for good reason. He hinted a survey should be set up to predict when "it" will happen again. So here it is. Today is February 21st.

Will gOnnabeadad ever have sex again? 127 votes

February 21st
0% 0 votes
February 22nd
0% 0 votes
Sometime before the babies are born
3% 4 votes
Before 6 weeks after birth
4% 6 votes
Before 7 weeks after birth
4% 6 votes
Before 8 weeks after birth
7% 10 votes
Before 10 weeks after birth
15% 20 votes
After 10 weeks after birth
32% 41 votes
Never again
31% 40 votes
«1

Re: When will gOnnabeadad have sex again?

  • Said this over on the other thread:

    It will be a long time, but he won't care as much as he thinks he will right now.  They will both be too tired to care, and depending on the healing time, she certainly will not let him near her with that "thing".

    Two things I remember about post-delivery wife (Graphic):
    1) The big ass pad she had to wear like a diaper for a few weeks.  That was soooooooooo nasty!
    2) My son tearing those nipples up while the two of them learned to breast feed.  That looked real painful from here.

    Sleep deprevation is very real.  That alone is a boner killer.

    image

    [Deleted User]LuckyDad
  • Don't scare the guy. He might still have some hope left.
    ladyjenna13
  • Loading the player...
  • Ha appreciate this survey... I know I won't care as much once they're born, I just hope it picks back up once we get into a better routine.
    I'm thinking it will be before 6 weeks after they're born. Not much sooner then that.
  • Ha appreciate this survey... I know I won't care as much once they're born, I just hope it picks back up once we get into a better routine. I'm thinking it will be before 6 weeks after they're born. Not much sooner then that.

    Be very careful with that thinking. It's highly recommended to wait because of infection and stuff. Your wife is still healing. C-section might be different though.
  • Nope, still about 6 weeks for C-section. Still have to heal and there could be internal bleeding going on. Anyway, highly recommended to wait until after that 6-week postpartum appointment when they can give you the all clear..
  • Thanks for the advise! Obviously sex won't be a priority and the babies will keep us both very occupied, I won't do anything the dr's advise against.
  • Ha appreciate this survey... I know I won't care as much once they're born, I just hope it picks back up once we get into a better routine. I'm thinking it will be before 6 weeks after they're born. Not much sooner then that.

    Tread lightly with that thought process, dude. 

    image

  • Thanks for the advise! Obviously sex won't be a priority and the babies will keep us both very occupied, I won't do anything the dr's advise against.
    Yeah, when ours come I'm just going to try to survive. I'm sure your wife will tell you the same stuff. What's funny is our doctor has told us some women come into their 6-week appointment pregnant again!
  • A girlfriend of my wife had a real asshole as a husband.  He was basically forcing her to have sex with him a week or two after their baby came.

    Total jerk.  Why would you even want to try that?  It's like soup down there.  Needless to say, they are no longer married.

    image

  • A girlfriend of my wife had a real asshole as a husband.  He was basically forcing her to have sex with him a week or two after their baby came.

    Total jerk.  Why would you even want to try that?  It's like soup down there.  Needless to say, they are no longer married.


    My wife would have had nothing to do with that. She would have been taking my son to her parent's house before it got to that point.
  • Wow that sounds horrible! Certainly nothing I will look to be doing until she is looking to do the same. Some people are real jerks!
  • They will attempt induction sex when she is 41 weeks and sick of being pregnant.

    After that it will be 3 months after the baby is born.
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
    WulfgargettinNoneladyjenna13BiggerinRealLife
  • A girlfriend of my wife had a real asshole as a husband.  He was basically forcing her to have sex with him a week or two after their baby came.

    Total jerk.  Why would you even want to try that?  It's like soup down there.  Needless to say, they are no longer married.

    This is the grossest thing I've read in a while.

    And yeah, I wasn't even that motivated in the first month or two. Turns out if I'm tired enough I want sleep more than sex!
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • I would say that they will have sex prior to the birth to try to accelerate the process.  I know I got some prior to our due date for this reason.

    It was at least 6 weeks after my son was born that I got any.  It still hurts my wife at times when we are in certain positions and our son is almost 3.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


  • Damn, we adopted a new born 2 months ago and I'm still not getting any. Something ain't right!

    Actually, between both of us working overtime and taking care of the baby, we both just want to sleep.
    Proud 40 year old, first time daddy!
  • The first time took us about 8-10 weeks before my wife felt comfortable. This time, with twins AND we will have three kids to care for....I'm hoping to get some before the end of 2014 at this point.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Hopefully you are one of the lucky dad's with a wife that 'helps' in other ways (Bj, handy, etc)
  • I'm really surprised by the 22% of people that don't have any faith in you. I have a feeling people aren't answering honestly.
  • polooo27 said:

    I'm really surprised by the 22% of people that don't have any faith in you. I have a feeling people aren't answering honestly.

    That may just be what it feels like to some dads.
  • Are there even 27 dads here though? I have a feeling some lurkers had some fun.
  • Hey - this week im at 4 months post birth and no lovin'........ so if Im not getting any, I dont think anyone should be gettin any!


    :))
    image
  • Ha yea I was really surprised so many people said never again...
    Misery does love company.
  • Speed Triple?


    ;)


    image
    image
  • Lady lurker here.  Ditto the whole "It's like soup down there" thing.  I've lived through it.  Twice.  Trust me when I say that it IS like soup down there.  Although, with twins your wife is likely to have a C-section, whereas my soupy experience came after pushing out an 8 1/2 pound baby.  But, as you are no doubt aware, the recovery from a C-section has its own special issues.

    Dude, do not get your hopes up for getting the real thing prior to the 6 week "go ahead" from the doctor.  There are pretty compelling medical reasons to wait, even if both of you want to do it.

    Heed this advice: for most women, the first post-partum sex is scarier and more painful than losing our virginity, despite the fact that we're doing it with our husbands and not some sketchy teenager.  Sex was do-able for me, but still fairly painful, until my firstborn was about 3 months old.  When I say "do-able but painful" I mean that it's so painful that there's no way I'm going to have an orgasm while you're in there, so please understand and appreciate that I'm doing this strictly for your enjoyment right now.

    BTW, I think you'll probably by back in the saddle by around 8 weeks, give or take!  Hang in there, dude!  It seems like a huge deal at the time, but when you look back, it's like a blink!
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • Ratpasta said:
    Hey - this week im at 4 months post birth and no lovin'........ so if Im not getting any, I dont think anyone should be gettin any!


    :))
    I'm on the once to twice a month plan. So... Boom? My son is almost 2 years old at this point.

    12 Months really seems to be the point a lot of women turn the corner and actually start feeling "normal" again.
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • LuckyDad said:
    Ratpasta said:
    Hey - this week im at 4 months post birth and no lovin'........ so if Im not getting any, I dont think anyone should be gettin any!


    :))
    I'm on the once to twice a month plan. So... Boom? My son is almost 2 years old at this point.

    12 Months really seems to be the point a lot of women turn the corner and actually start feeling "normal" again.

    bye bye old life..... it was awesome while it lasted!  Hello new life!
    image
  • Until you are trying to conceive again then it is 4 to 7 days in a row and if you are lucky twice in one day.  The down side is that a lot of the times this is the only time during the month that I can get any.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


  • With the boy at 1 1/2 years now, frequency is at about 3-4 times a month.

    To follow up on the soup comment, often times there are stitches down there too.  that leaves scar tissue sometimes, which can cause discomfort.

    There are a lot of things going on down there after birth, and all of them are boner killers.

    image

  • Light at the end of the tunnel is in the form of hand jobs and BJ's.  My wife seems relieved at times if I just ask for one of those instead of sex.

    But we are about to start on number two here real soon, so it is about to get like a porn shoot around here!

    image

    Wulfgar
  • Light at the end of the tunnel is in the form of hand jobs and BJ's.  My wife seems relieved at times if I just ask for one of those instead of sex.

    But we are about to start on number two here real soon, so it is about to get like a porn shoot around here!

    You're a lucky man.

    My wife would FAR rather have sex than give a BJ. She's ok with it as part of foreplay if she's feeling like sex. But just a random BJ for being such a good husband and father? Noooope.
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
    gettinNone
  • Wulfgar said:
    Until you are trying to conceive again then it is 4 to 7 days in a row and if you are lucky twice in one day.  The down side is that a lot of the times this is the only time during the month that I can get any.
    I almost hate the whole "rhythmic ovulation sex" ritual worse than not getting any at all.  It's so mechanical, unromantic, non spontaneous......I went through it for four years and learned to hate it.
    Especially after a few years of trying when my wife started getting depressed and anxious about not being able to carry a child, the whole act just started to become sad.
    image
  •  

    Ratpasta said:
    Wulfgar said:
    Until you are trying to conceive again then it is 4 to 7 days in a row and if you are lucky twice in one day.  The down side is that a lot of the times this is the only time during the month that I can get any.
    I almost hate the whole "rhythmic ovulation sex" ritual worse than not getting any at all.  It's so mechanical, unromantic, non spontaneous......I went through it for four years and learned to hate it.
    Especially after a few years of trying when my wife started getting depressed and anxious about not being able to carry a child, the whole act just started to become sad.
    Yeah, my wife and I went through that for a year and a half and we hated it. The first couple months of trying are pretty normal. Then the worrying starts and the ovulation tests begin. It almost starts to feel like work. I like the 1-3 times per week much better than the 4-5 times in one week and maybe 1 or two time for the other 3 weeks combined.
    gettinNone
  • It is work when conception doesn't happen right away.  She feels like a failure and we feel like the pressure is fucking with our stroke, so to speak.

    The two times my wife and I have conceived, we were on vacation.  That day to day grind of the work week takes a lot out of us, and sometimes getting away during ovulation can remove a lot of that stress, and bring it back to something more special than just humping to bust that nut.

    image

  • polooo27 said:

     

    Ratpasta said:
    Wulfgar said:
    Until you are trying to conceive again then it is 4 to 7 days in a row and if you are lucky twice in one day.  The down side is that a lot of the times this is the only time during the month that I can get any.
    I almost hate the whole "rhythmic ovulation sex" ritual worse than not getting any at all.  It's so mechanical, unromantic, non spontaneous......I went through it for four years and learned to hate it.
    Especially after a few years of trying when my wife started getting depressed and anxious about not being able to carry a child, the whole act just started to become sad.
    Yeah, my wife and I went through that for a year and a half and we hated it. The first couple months of trying are pretty normal. Then the worrying starts and the ovulation tests begin. It almost starts to feel like work. I like the 1-3 times per week much better than the 4-5 times in one week and maybe 1 or two time for the other 3 weeks combined.
    yup yup, been there for all of that.  The worst of the worst is that my wife wouldnt ovulate regularly, every other month or every third month.  Man during that time the pressure was on!  n top of everything else I was supposed to be "saving up" 3, 4 or 5 days prior to ovulation.
    It was like chastity but not in a fun BDSM way

    The two times my wife and I have conceived, we were on vacation.  That day to day grind of the work week takes a lot out of us, and sometimes getting away during ovulation can remove a lot of that stress, and bring it back to something more special than just humping to bust that nut.

    when I got off of work at the end of last season and we still hadnt conceived we decided to take a trip for this exact reason (and we are travel junkies).  I had found out the day before that I was getting 5 weeks off and we didnt have a lot of money so we decided to go to Baja for a month.
    We literally packed up the bike the next day and left.

    image



    We didnt get pregnant on the trip but we got pregnant the month after!   ..... and it was one hell of a trip
    image
  • So it sounds like I am not alone in this which is a good thing.  We have been trying to conceive our second one for almost two years now.

    For me and MW, it doesn't help us that our son goes to bed around the same time as we do so we don't get a lot of couple time.

    As for being torn up down there, it took the Dr a full hour to sew my wife back up after our son was born.  I was more than willing to wait until after she was healed up.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


  • Yea it's nice to hear we were not the only ones who struggled. We were ttc for about a year and then went through nearly a year of infertility finally getting pregnant (x2) through ivf.
    Completely agree that when your ttc the sex isn't very exciting and becomes all work... Although it was never as bad as no lovin'.
    It's very unlikely that my wife will provide much assistance when we aren't having sex. It is close to rare and I often need to ask 4 or 5 times before anything happens, although I won't be asking when she's this uncomfortable. I've reminded her that 5-10 minutes of her time will go a long way, not that I don't do everything for her that I can do.
    gettinNone
  • @ratpasta - That's rough. We actually felt like we got a chance every month at least. I forget the name but my wife had low progesterone and her cycle was messed up. We went to see a fertility specialist and he wrote out a pretty solid plan for us. The month before it started we didn't really try like we had. I think we did it once during the "window". Guess what. Got her pregnant.

    @wulfgar - Not alone at all. Our son goes to bed at the same time as us too. That's why it felt like work. Sometimes it would be 11 and we'd have to have sex even though we can barely keep our eyes open. Or I'd set my alarm clock to get up an extra 30 minutes early. Have you talked to a fertility doctor?

    @ladyjenna13 - Yup, same with us. Honeymoon baby, and basically the month we didn't try.

     

  • polooo27 said:

    @ratpasta - That's rough. We actually felt like we got a chance every month at least. I forget the name but my wife had low progesterone and her cycle was messed up. We went to see a fertility specialist and he wrote out a pretty solid plan for us. The month before it started we didn't really try like we had. I think we did it once during the "window". Guess what. Got her pregnant.

    yeah you always hear about people getting pregnant after they stop trying to.  Stress can do crazy things to a womans body. 
    image
  • Ratpasta said:
    polooo27 said:

    @ratpasta - That's rough. We actually felt like we got a chance every month at least. I forget the name but my wife had low progesterone and her cycle was messed up. We went to see a fertility specialist and he wrote out a pretty solid plan for us. The month before it started we didn't really try like we had. I think we did it once during the "window". Guess what. Got her pregnant.

    yeah you always hear about people getting pregnant after they stop trying to.  Stress can do crazy things to a womans body. 

    Yup, I've always hear stories about people who say they got pregnant right after they stopped trying. I always thought it was coincidence because you normally don't announce that unless it happens. We're one of those people now.
  • Yea we got lucky when my wife took a month off between jobs!
    It's crazy you spend your whole high school / college trying to avoid it, you'd think it was a lot easier then it really is.
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