Parenting Check-In

JGY

What's going on this week in your Parenting world?  How are the LOs?  How are you?

 

QOTD:

What is the number one thing that you wish you could do over again in parenting; either because you want to do it better/differently, or because you enjoyed it so much you just want to do it again?

(ex. pregnancy, labor, birth, breastfeeding, starting solids, delaying solids, putting LO in a jumperoo, NOT putting LO in a jumperoo ... whatever you can think of)

 

JGY

Okay, okay, I'll go first.

So last week Gabe's tubes went in just fine.  The next day he spiked a fever though, so we ended up in Urgent Care.  He's fine, but it was a nightmare because there was a long line and we had to wait almost 2 hours to be seen.  Then we were in there for-EVER because the Dr. was trying to be really thorough (which is great, but ...), then even though he'd had diahrrea for 3 days the one time he WOULDN'T give us a stool sample was while we were there.  THEN, we accidentally left the headlights on so our car battery was dead when it was finally time to go home.  Sheesh.  Ahh well, everything turned out okay and that's what is important.

Our daycare is closed today for President's Day (what???) so we had to take Gabe to the back-up care center.  He's been there before but it was MANY months ago.  Anyway, today was the first time he's ever cried when I left him.  It broke my heart.

QOTD:   I may sound like a crazy person, but I REALLY wish I could go back and do labor and delivery again.  Mine was just so phenomenally effed up and while I accept that if I did it 10 times I might end up with a C-section every time, there are just a few things that I think I really would like to have tried in an effort to preserve a vaginal birth. 

In second place for a desired re-do, would be establishing the breastfeeding relationship.    Sigh, those early days were really REALLY hard.

ATXmommas

@JGY - Sorry for the rough week.  Hope things are looking up.

Ash was a champ at traveling.  On the way to MS, I was a bit anxious trying to make sure he nursed on take off and landing, but when I realized that he was pretty unphased by the whole thing, I relaxed a bit.  The altitude change didn't seem to bother him a bit.  Not sure if that will change as he gets older???

Besides some family drama with my SIL (which is a super sad situation for me), we had a great visit with my family and our little boy was all sorts of loved on.  We even extended our stay by a couple days to get some extra time with family (my parents are divorced, so we have to split our time in two).

Since we've returned, I've been a mess because I'm returning to work this week.  I've cried several times already.  Ash is a pretty happy baby during the day.  His cranky time is early evening - exactly the time we will be picking him up from day care (around 5:30).  Right now, he goes to sleep between 7:30-8:00, which means most of our time with him will be when he's the least happy.  He is the happiest in the early morning when we will be busy getting ready for work and getting him ready for day care.  I'm just feeling super sad and emotional.  This is much harder than I could have anticipated.  

I'm also still nervous about pumping enough….  To be continued.

QOTD:  I am soooo looking forward to being pregnant and giving birth again.  First tri was no fun and I was pretty uncomfortable the last few weeks, but the middle part of pregnancy was pure magic and I enjoyed it so much.  I also had an incredible labor experience that went exactly as planned except for how quickly it progressed.  "They" say that second labors are about half as long - if that's the case for me, that means a 2.25 hour labor next time!  Even though the end of labor hurt like hell, it was such an incredible experience and I'm kinda sad that I will only have the chance to do it one more time.  

As for what I would redo, I'm with your @JGY in terms of establishing the BF relationship.  I had a lot of pain in the beginning, which I think caused me to unintentionally delay feedings and caused me to be quite tense during feedings.  I should have sought out help a lot sooner.  I feel like I'll be much more prepared next time, even though I know a different baby may mean a completely different experience.

Belovedvirgo0209

Good afternoon Adasyn is 16 months and her latest thing is screaming lol whether it be screams of joy or anger she screams about everything.She does what I call "angry baby" she has the worst temper I have seen on a child and gets so mad.This morning she was watching her dvd in the car and all of a sudden started screaming at the screen like mickey mouse had seriously pissed her off it was so funny but I had to try to hide it so she wont think that it is ok to act like that.Her anger and temper are coming out more and more and she truly is a drama queen she overreacts about everything.She is very stubborn and set in her ways I have a funny feeling terrible two's are gonna be so much fun for us

QOTD:What is the number one thing that you wish you could do over again in parenting; either because you want to do it better/differently, or because you enjoyed it so much you just want to do it again? I would have changed the fact that Heather was the only one that was able to take time off when she was born. I missed alot of her first and don't feel like we bonded very well in the beginning. I worked 5 days a week and Heather would work my 2 days off.I regret not being more firm with work about what I wanted. They only allowed me to have the day of her birth off and the day we got home from the hospital off but nothing else.

Jazibel

Kaden is 19 months old.   We've had a great week.  EV has a 3-day weekend which is great, and we've both had a more "relaxed" homework schedule so we actually took most of yesterday to go hang out with friends. They took us out to brunch, then we took the boys (they have an 18 month old) to the park, then back to their place for naps and playtime while we hung out and chatted.  We didn't get home until after 7pm. It was such a fun day.

Kaden continues to learn words, picking up 1-3 per day. It's so exciting for him and us.  We're also working on potty training but I've reached an impasse - I'm not sure how to take it to the next level. I feel like I need to work on teaching him to take his pants and diaper off, and put them back on so he can be more independent and proactive about using the potty.  We're looking into buying or making cloth pull-ups.

He also feeds himself happily and drinks from a cup (he's covered in banana, cinnamon and ginger oatmeal right now).  I love this phase of independence and interaction.

QOTD:  Hmmmm several things, definitely labor - but that's looming now.  I'd also love to take better advantage of the time EV and I had off together.  Our experience living in Roatan was so busy with working on the house and trying to figure out how to live I don't think I "embodied" the experience fully. But I guess it's hard to sit around being blissfully happy all the time - though I'd love to give it a try.  We'll only have a short time together after Owen is born. I think I realize now how precious that is and I hope to take advantage of it as much as I can.
Lastly, I wish we had gotten Kaden started on a bottle sooner so EV and he had more independence and bonding time.  This is something we plan on doing differently this time around.

newmompeanut

N's birthday party was this past weekend.  And even though I was really nervous about all the families being together in one room it went AMAZING.  I don't think that I could have asked for everything to go smoother.  N absolutely hated her cake.  Which we kind of thought she would since she doesn't like anything sticky on her hands.  She got so excited when she saw the pool though.  She just stood there and squealed; it was adorable!  I still can't believe that my baby is one.  How did this happen already?!

QOTD: My answer is basically the same as @JGY 's answer.  I ended up having a c section and always wonder if there's something I could have done differently to at least have experienced a little bit of a natural birth.  I also would love to have enjoyed my pregnancy a bit more.  The pregnancy itself was really easy, but the stress from separating from my husband, moving, starting to date a girl, and preparing for a baby really brought down my whole pregnancy. 

B has the photo of N squealing, but I had this one of N from her party.

2brides

The boys are good, but ohmylord, do they need to go back to school. They've been out for 5 days due to snow/weekend/holiday and we all need to get in the routine of school and stop the endless hours of screen time (between them being sick Thurs, DP being sick on Friday while they were home due to snow and I was at work, and it just being cold and icy snow out they have played their lifetime allotment of video games.)  Typically they only play in the car to/from school during the week.

I would love to feel them kicking and squirming inside again - I don't want to go through my pregnancy again (it was fine and non-eventful, but just uncomfortable.) I'd love to feel that excitement of waiting to meet them for the for the first time.

If  I were to do it again (we aren't!) I'd know to look out for PPD and I wouldn't be so naive/proud and get help. I would have enjoyed that first year so.much.more. I also would have stopped BFing earlier (I BF/pumped for 11.5m and was miserable.) I felt like my life revolved around pumping and feeding. I had to time all of our outings and I was continually stressed that there wasn't enough in the freezer. But this was also probably related to the PPD.

JGY

Wow, I didn't realize when I threw that QOTD out there, that reading the answers would make me so sad.  Sorry about that everyone!

@ATXmommas, I'm so glad your trip went well!  Yay for Ash the super-traveler!

@BelovedVirgo0209, it really breaks my heart that you didn't have the opportunity to spend those first amazing, confusing, stressful days with Adasyn and Heather. 

@Jazibel, I always forget that you lived in Roatan.  I'm sure living there is a whole different can of worms than just visiting by OMG is that a beautiful place or what?!  I'm so excited for you guys and Owen.  I can't wait until your Parenting update is about 2 little guys instead of 1 (not that I don't enjoy hearing about Kaden).

@newmompeanut, I feel ya.  And not that the stress I was under was anything compared to what you went through during pregnancy, but I often mourn the loss of the pregnancy "Excitement" that I feel like I didn't get to have.  Maybe "Celebration" is a better word?  I was truly ecstatic to be pregnant, but because S wasn't so gung-ho about it I felt like I kept things low-key most of the time.  Perfect example was that she seemed to always be irritated when I asked her to take bump photos of me.  So I just stopped asking, and thus I have very VERY few of them.  Ah well, I know I should focus on the fact that I have an amazing kid who is fantastic, but it still wish I could go back sometimes.

@2brides, can I just say again how nice it is to have you around here?  I think the theme about being willing to get help is a really important one.  And hopefully if people say it over and over again on this board, it will make someone think twice who really needs to get that help now.  And, I totally understand how pumping BECOMES your life and owns your calendar.  I still feel like that now, and while I love breastfeeding and I'm very committed to getting Gabe any and all breastmilk that I can, I (not so secretly) can't wait to divorce that damned pump!

 

trisholio

I am a bit late, but it has been a crazy day.  

My wife and I are foster parents of a 2 yr old M and almost 6 month old K, both little girls.  We have had them just over a week and things are adjusting well.  The baby is super easy, especially during the day.  She is happy, likes to laugh and is laid back until she wants to eat.  She has been waking up twice a night, which hasn't been too bad.  I take the first feeding and my wife takes the second.  It has worked out pretty well so far.  The toddler on the other hand is a little bit more challenging, but most toddlers are!  She hates going to bed and is still awake as I type this.  She also hates naps and cries everyday.  We are working on how to help her get over the separation anxiety, so any ideas are welcome.  She also hates leaving places or saying goodbye.  We think this has been because her life has been so unstable and people constantly coming in and out of her life.  Overall, besides those two things she really is adjusting well.  She eats great and is very cuddly and sweet to her little sister.  They are both just as adorable as can be and we are totally smitten with them.

QOTD: I can't really answer this just yet because I have literally jumped into this parenting thing. I am pregnant, raising a 6 month old and 2 year old that I just met a week ago.  I feel like I dealing with random times of parenting all at once!  It is challenging and wonderful to say the least!  

Mystjava

@trisholio -- I'm thrilled and jealous at the same time. You're living a dream parenting experience. Fostering and raising your own child (in uetro).
As for us, raising an almost 4 year old has been challenging. We're still struggling with potty learning (wet undies accidents). I would love to add to our little family since my LO is asking for a little sister/brother.
Will catch up later -- LO wants to play legos and "bad guys and police".

mwagner25

@JGY sorry to hear about your rough week. Hopefully now that he has his tubes in and once he gets over the fever/diarrhea bug that you will have a healthy little baby for at least a little while.

@newmompeanut Happy Birthday to N! Glad it went so well celebrating! 

@ATXmommas all I can do is empathize with you. This transition back to work sucks. 

I started back to work on Friday. My mom is in town to help with the transition which is nice. @lifebylauren is staying home with Oliver right now. The hardest thing for me has been working with the sleep deprivation. I work such odd hours in the ER (I just got home as I am writing this) that it really messes with my sleep.  Not to mention that Oliver still is up 3-6 times throughout the night.  I am just learning to accept that we were blessed with a great eater but a not a very good sleeper.  It's been a week or so since we have seen any stretch of sleep over 3.5/4 hours.  My work has been nice to get back to, I do enjoy my time with adults, being challenged, and treating patients.  Tonight was the first night I was at work and missed bedtime so I am watching Oliver on the monitor.  I won't mind tonight when he wakes up to feed.  I feel like my thoughts are kinda scattered... I need to try and get to bed. 

clairmeij

I read somewhere that sleep deprivation can result in a state similar to brain damage. There are days that I feel that. All in all baby A is really good sleeper, but so am I. Before he was born I would sleep at least 9 hours a night. I'm now averaging 6 because I stay up until 10 to pump extra milk. I've become really clumsy, I forget what I'm doing and feel like my vocabulary has been dramatically dwindling. On the plus side, he's such a great baby. He's mostly recovered from the RSV and double ear infections, but his poor bottom had gotten quite bad from the diarrheah and I know that it hurt him. We did his first swimming lesson this weekend and he loved it, even though he'd missed a nap. He's scooting and his personality is appearing more each day, he and V are goofier than goofy things. I love them! I'm noticing that baby A is starting to exhibit more separation anxiety and had become very aware if the emotions of people around him. He loves to get people grinning :-) My milk supply is slowly improving. I hope that it continues to do so. I've started supplementing with goats rue on top of the fenugreek.

QOTD There are a few things that I would do differently, but the one that is most important to me is breastfeeding. My initial plan was to start pumping early on so that I had a good freezer stash. A midwife friend recommended that I wait until a couple of weeks before starting work before I started pumping in earnest in order to allow my supply to equalize. If I had it to do over I would start pumping after a few feeds a day early on not only to build a stash but also to build my supply. I know that this approach could lead to oversupply, but honestly, as tough as that can be, think it would be good problem to have given my current challenges.