Feeling Guilty

BRIDE2B!!!

DH & I had a planned 4 day trip out of the country before we got pregnant with baby #2. DD will only be 3 weeks old when we leave her and I can't get over the guilt. I'm also worried because I'm having a csection too. I just want to know if anyone has been in a similar situation & how you handled it. Please advise!

myatala

Traveling 3wks after major surgery is my idea of Hell. I had a vaginal delivery but I missed my sister's wedding because it was too soon for us to travel. If I'd had a c-section I can't imagine being up to traveling 3wks out.

SummerSnow11

I couldn't leave a three week old for a trip. That's my totally inexperienced opinion.

LadyXaverian

I couldn't have done it after my c/s either physically or emotionally. 

BRIDE2B!!!

Surprisingly my OB said I should be ok to fly. Of course(in my heart)I really don't want to go but I have already committed.
i feel like such a bad mom!

NotSharknado

I wouldn't go and I'd bet my wallet you won't go either.

jorkz821

Possibly stupid question, but is there a reason baby can't go with you?

SummerSnow11

In what way have you committed?

Eleventy11

Even after having a relatively easy c-section recovery, there is no way I would leave my three week old to go out of the country...I wouldn't even go out of the county for four days.

insertclevername

I would not travel out of the country three weeks after having a baby without the baby and while recovering from a major surgery. What happens if you have incision complications or something similar?

pghmortdoll

I wouldn't go, even if it meant losing the money spent on the trip.

That is too soon after delivery, especially a c-section and I couldn't leave my LO for that long at 3 weeks.

jackson290721

I would cancel it ASAP. No way I would go. 

RondackHiker

There's no way I could have physically done that post csection.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

myatala

The more I think about this, I'm like, how is this even a question? Do you realize how much healing there is to do? If the wound left by placenta detachment were on the outside of your body I'd hope you wouldn't rush to do too much and set back your healing. Plus you'll have incisions healing, too.

Seriously, baby aside, how is a trip more important than your health?

theimpossibleastronaut

No way I could have gone on an out of country trip 3 weeks after my c-section. I also wouldn't want to leave my baby with someone at that point.

Drea926

I had a vaginal delivery and physically was fine at that point, but I still wouldn't be able to handle a trip. I was an emotional basketcase 3 weeks postpartum. I don't know, if your gut is telling you it's not a good idea, you should probably go with that. 

shella923

I was still walking funny at three weeks. So I wouldn't go.

LaurelBee

NOPE.

MrsT0514

A big fat NOPE from me too. No way in hell was I up for anything 3 weeks after delivery, and I had a vaginal delivery. Also...no way in hell would I be able to leave my 3 week old for 4 days.

Sorry OP. I'd try to reschedule and hope you can get some sort of refund.

colliebabe

I left DD overnight when she was 5 weeks, but it was for less than 24 hours and it was within driving distance. I definitely wouldn't have wanted to fly or leave for more than 1 night.

aforst

Even if I felt 100% fine physically, there is no way I could go out of the country and leave my 3 week old for 4 days.  No way.  I'm surprised you didn't cancel this trip when you found out you were going to be having a baby 3 weeks before. 

jorkz821

Is OP coming back to discuss?

Eleventy11

I'm not going to side-eye the OB. Technically, there is nothing to prevent you from getting on a plane a week after surgery. I have a friend who was moving and flew with her six day old...granted this was many years ago. However, I can't see any medical professional thinking it's a good idea to go on vacation out of the country and leaving your three week old.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

SpaceGirlSpiff

Nope nope nope..

No

no.

BluepointToasted

My first outing away from DS ws at 2 weeks exactly, and it was just to a dinner.  After3 1/2 hours I was dying to get hom.  Not sure if you are planning to breastfeed, but I felt like my chest was going to explode.  Also, you are totally no going to want to leave your baby.  I am very curious about the details of this trip.  4 days out of the country led me to believe that it is not super far?  Business or pleasure?

LoveActually4

I don't think it's guilt you're feeling. Those are your instincts telling you this is a bad idea. Listen to them, eh?

BlueRidge8

klondikebar

The recovery from my 3rd csection was a breeze. I could've traveled by plane at 3 weeks PP if it was absolutely necessary. There's still no way in hell I would've done so voluntarily. It would've required an extremely dire situation.

SpaceGirlSpiff

There is no flying fucking way in hell I would leave my 3 week old baby without me for 4 days.  Regardless of being healed or not.  Just no.

BluepointToasted

Why won't op come back? I really feel like I want to know what this trip is all about

missyishere

mbenit4 said:

An out of the country trip would be a big deal for us. Once in a lifetime trip. i don't care if I won it in a contest. I would go if I was cleared to travel.

Mbenit!!! (Request that sn change like nao) Do you forget what its like having a 3 week old?

I emailed the bump gods a long as time ago to change my SN. They don't respond to me!! They eat, sleep, and shit. Babies not bump gods.

Which is precisely why you wouldn't want to leave them with someone else. If you leave your 3 week old with someone else for several days to go out of the country, you obviously don't like that person very well, because it's a lot to ask them to handle your very new newborn.

BRIDE2B!!!

Business

theimpossibleastronaut

That's a long planned business trip....Is this your trip, or is this your husband's trip? Either way, stay home.

Eleventy11

I'm saying it's husbands trip and OP is going for pleasure.

theimpossibleastronaut

Eleventy11 said:

I'm saying it's husbands trip and OP is going for pleasure.

Maybe. My answer is still stay home.

DreadLoc

four days, a few hours away?  maybe.  

out of the country?  fuck no.

CinemaGoddess

Lol.

Giraffealaff

Ok, so to your OP: No. Nope. Nada. No Bueno. Il fait mal. 

I mean, try this:  Have your baby first. Then attempt leaving your child at home while you run to the store without crying hysterically 5 minutes into the trip. Then come back and revisit this question. 

It seems to me like you haven't fully realized that you are going to have a fucking child soon. Did you go through your whole pregnancy not realizing that you will have a tiny little person depending on you and that leaving said tiny person, if just for a moment will hurt more than any other pain you have ever felt? Did you not think about the fact that said tiny person will be coming out of your god damn vagina causing tons of pain and grossness? Or that if needed, tiny little person may be surgically removed from your body, requiring much more time for you to heal? I feel like you have thought not about any of this by the fact that holy shit you are still planning on this trip even though you KNOW you are having a baby. 

I feel like... What the actual fuck?

BRIDE2B!!! said:

Business

Oh, nevermind then... that explains it.