Feeling Guilty

Giraffealaff

LexiLupin said:

I love DS like whoa but leaving him "for just a moment" was not the worst pain ever. Lol, dramatic much? To the OP- no. :: insert grumpy cat:: I traveled with DS at 4 weeks which was fine but it was two short flights, I was staying with family, and I did not have a c/s. Leaving him behind at that age though? Uhh...

Being a FTM with a 2 week old, it kills me to leave the little guy. I'm sure as time progresses I will be less dramatic squirrel about this, but right now at 2 weeks Postpartum, I stand by what I said. 

theimpossibleastronaut

I just remember being an emotional, exhausted wreck three weeks PP. Even if I could have left my DD for that long, I doubt I was fit to be around people other than my family.

Monkeybabe

I still waddled at 3 weeks PP, but I pushed a 97%tile head out of my vagina. I can't speak to c-section recovery.

Dubwife79

I know I'm super late to this party but I'm sitting on mbenits bench. I had a csection and recovery was a breeze (I am fully aware this is not the norm) and dd really was a super easy baby so if it was a once in a lifetime trip I'd go. But if I had to decide before the actual giving birth happened I don't know what I'd do.

Eleventy11

I had two c-sections and two freakishly easy recoveries. Would I be fine three weeks pp to travel? Yes, I would have been fine. However, I probably wouldn't have been up for a full vacation. I certainly wouldn't have been emotionally ready to leave...and I was totally lac with number two. I left DD at a week old to go to the grocery store...I wouldn't leave the country though.

theimpossibleastronaut

Gotta agree with @thisisbrea and @ctgirl30. OP might be fine, might have an easy recovery and an easy baby, but maybe not. I just wouldn't bet on all these factors coming together three weeks PP

Drea926

When I was 3 weeks postpartum, I went to Target alone. It was the best 20 minutes of my life, and then I was crying on the drive back because I missed my baby. I was a total whack job then. :P 

I get that not everyone is going to be like that, but I would err on the side of caution. And if you have to ask a bunch of Internet strangers what to do, then maybe you shouldn't go? 

:-/

Unknown

This content has been removed.

WasNotWas

How is this trip once in a lifetime? Are you dying OP? Is the country you are going to sinking into the ocean?

WasNotWas

@mbenit4 said:

WasNotWas said:

How is this trip once in a lifetime? Are you dying OP? Is the country you are going to sinking into the ocean?

I don't think OP said that. I believe it was me. I said going out of the country for us would be a big deal. Probably once in a lifetime opportunity for us. I would go. I stand by that. I have never had an issue leaving my kids in capable hands. Everyone is different.

Everyone is different, but I'd think the 3rd week of someone's life is a little more "once in a lifetime" than going anywhere. Cept maybe the moon. I'd ditch my kid to go to the moon fer surer

Assembly_Reqd

WTF,  I'll bite.

I could have easily traveled 4 wks PCC because I was traveling every day (three times a day) to the NICU for three weeks PCC. It was a VERY unexpected detour for our first baby experience.

You also need to consider that not everything about your birth and baby could be complication free.

PrimRoseMama

I would not go.

WasNotWas

LovelyRitaMeterMaid said:

mbenit4 said:

Lol at "ditch my kid."

Lol

WasNotWas

@justAphase said:

Why are people taking the phrase "ditch my kid" so literally? 

Especially when it was followed by going to the moon!

missyishere

Now is a good time to LOL

theimpossibleastronaut

I think at 12 weeks, yeah, someone would be more equipped to go on such a trip both emotionally and physically. Would I have done it at that point? No, I probably wouldn't have, but I think three months is a little different than three weeks. Just my thoughts though.

WasNotWas

@lovelysntoolong I'm glad OP has you to defend her from the rude, judgemental, quick to avoid their kids ladies of this board. Since she hasn't returned to elaborate I'm not 100% sure she needs your saving

theimpossibleastronaut

LovelyRitaMeterMaid said:

RiverSong82 said:

I think at 12 weeks, yeah, someone would be more equipped to go on such a trip both emotionally and physically. Would I have done it at that point? No, I probably wouldn't have, but I think three months is a little different than three weeks. Just my thoughts though.

Your assessment of her being not emotionally or physically ready is just as meaningless as mine that she could be okay.  Both are based on personal anecdotes.  She and her OB are the only people who know that.  I wouldn't have even asked TB after an OB told me I was fine, personally, because I wouldn't expect that anyone here could tell me better than my doctor or know my body better than me.  

And I really don't think a 12 week old needs less than you than a 3 week old to be honest.  I mean, if that's where the discussion is going is there some universal time when it's okay to leave your infant for vacation?  Who decides if not the mother and the OB?

I didn't say that it wasn't anecdotal, of course it is. That's why I started my sentence with "I think." This thread is really all about opinions, and I'm just giving mine. I'm hoping OP is smart enough to understand that. If my best friend asked me this question, I would have told her exactly everything I've said in this thread so far.

As stated above, I wouldn't go at 12 weeks either. I wouldn't have been able to do that. And nowhere in my post did I say anything about a 12-week-old needing his/her parents less than a 3-week-old.   I said that the MTB would probably be physically and emotionally more capable of handling a trip at that point, and, yes, that's based on my opinion.

WasNotWas

@riversong82 you judgemental bitch

theimpossibleastronaut

WasNotWas said:

@riversong82 you judgemental bitch

Yup, that's me.

WasNotWas

@LovelyRitaMeterMaid said:

Isla was great 0-6.  Nursed well, slept well once we got BFing figured out.  It was after six months when she started teething and waking up at night writhing in pain from it that it was hell.  That would have been a time when I'd say she needed me a little more than when she was 3 weeks old and just wanted to eat and sleep.

Point being, it's all anecdotal and should just be what the person is comfortable with.  No one knows what kinda NB she has or will have.  They aren't all the same.  There is no way I'd do it but I'm willing to bet people do this all the time and don't suffer horrid PP consequences.

phishgirl29

2.5 weeks after my c-section I was admitted back into the hospital for the doctors to perform a d&c to remove placenta that was left in there when they had a birds eye view of my uterus. I was loosing so much blood I was no where near human enough to travel. Stay home OP. Keep your baby with you.

WasNotWas

@LovelyRitaMeterMaid said:

Yes, let's frighten her with a story about PP hemorrhage right before she goes in for a c-section.  so helpful.

Hang on. Are we supposed to use anecdotal evidence to form our opinions or no?

missyishere

Must.go.against.grain.always.

phishgirl29

I wish someone would have frightened me @LovelyRitaMeterMaid. Then maybe I would have caught it earlier and not nearly bled to death.

theimpossibleastronaut

well, this judgmental bitch is taking her anecdotes and going to bed.

Edited: words are hard.

WasNotWas

C-section is a major surgery and this is Parenting. If you can't handle the truth and reality of the situation perhaps take your toys and play elsewhere

WasNotWas

@RiverSong82 said:

well, this judgmental bitch is taking her anecdotes and going to bed.

Edited: words are hard.

Gnight love. Be there soon, keep my side warm

jorkz821

LovelyRitaMeterMaid said:

Yes, let's frighten her with a story about PP hemorrhage right before she goes in for a c-section.  so helpful.

Guise. OP says this is her 2nd kid, doesn't it? I'm sure she's aware what she's in for with a section and Nb time. Which is why she's doubly crazy for considering it.

missyishere

LovelyRitaMeterMaid said:

You're a lovely human being.  All I gotta say about that.  Thumbs up.

That's comical coming from you. Really, BB.

[Deleted User]

Yeah you're not going on that trip OP.  Don't even bother with feeling guilty.

WasNotWas

And @cate1234 comes out of nowhere to hit the nail on the head

klondikebar

This is getting weird. I've had tons of surgeries including 3 c sections. Prepare for the worst possible recovery is my motto. It's being practical to not assume that anyone would be feeling stellar enough to take the trip at 3 weeks PP. I could've after my last c section, but I had no way of knowing that ahead of time. More anecdotes for the mix.

WasNotWas

@ThisIsBrea said:

Where's @hilarityensued to bitch about how this thread is still going on?? Has she posted here? Is she going to be pissed I paged her? That evil yellow flag. 

My goal is 10 pages @thisisbrea don't kill my dreams!!

WasNotWas

My gifs have been on topic and relevant. Don't diminish the integrity of my thread @thisisbrea. But we should think of a way for OP to come back...

WasNotWas

@justaphase

[Deleted User]

Yeah, yeah @mbenit4, we get it.  You're unflappably cool and nothing is ever a big deal.



I mean, I'm basically a sociopath and even I wouldn't have "ditched" my 3 week old.

jorkz821

See @thisisbrea we do agree on movies! I loooooved Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

WasNotWas

@ThisIsBrea said:

@wasnotwas - I love that movie, and Kristen Bell, but that is a horrible gif. Too short.

WasNotWas

I was/am so impressed by her singing voice in Frozen!