Grieving A Loss While Baby Is Still Here

brooklyngirl46

I'm so so sorry. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. 

kmolsonmay5

I am truly sorry and will keep your family in my T&P.

catsinawindow

I'm so sorry you are going through this.  It is so unfair.  You and your family are in my thoughts.

Rosebud2587

How heartbreaking. I am so sorry. 

robbinrl

I am so sorry. Truly hoping you find out the original doctor is wrong.

gregsgurl81304

krptcmschfmkr128 said:

I'm very sorry. How is she moving though, if she's brain dead? Not trying to be snarky, purely curious. Maybe it's something to ask the doctor about. I was under the impression that brain dead meant nothing but basic life-sustaining actions. I didn't think movement was included in that. Some cases of fetal hydrocephalus are also treatable. Are they sending you to a specialist first, to be 100% positive of the diagnosis?

@kittymeowbark

Im so sorry you are having to go through this, but I was thinking the same thing as krptcmschfmkr128. I think that seeing a specialist is worth a shot. 

Again, I am so sorry, and I will be praying for you, baby girl and your family.  Sending you lots of hugs.

Mom&nurse

I will pray for the biggest prayer god could ever answer for your LO.

coffee-saur

That is so so sad. I'm so sorry you're going thru this. Sending prayers for you and family

Danischn

I'm so sorry and I can only imagine the pain and heartbreak you are going through. Praying for you and your family

jenandbrett

I'm so sorry. I know how you are feeling as I am in a very similar situation myself. It's heart-wrenching. my husband and I decided that we will do our best to treasure those movements because they are our boy and for now, he is all ours. They do hurt like crazy, but he's still in there and I don't take that for granted. I suspect there will be times when he's gone that I just want to feel him move again. 

And I do second the girls saying get a second opinion. I'm surprised he would suggest termination without sending you to a high risk specialist. He deals with everyday pregnancies, well, every day, but a specialist might be able to see hope or a treatment plan that he doesn't even know about. 

 I am so sorry you are living this right now. Hang in there and take care of yourself and your husband. You will be ok, hon. Praying for your baby girl.

temursgirl

T&P for you.  I'm so sorry you are going through this.

kibean

Still thinking of you guys and praying for you.

kittymeowbark

Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers. This had been such a long weekend for my family and I. Today we went to a specialist who did another ultrasound and a few tests and the news is even worse than before. At first, I was told there was fluid in the baby's brain which most likely is Hydrocephalus. Depending on the level, this can be treated and the baby does have a chance at a normal life. This information is what has kept me sane. I have joined support groups who are familiar with hydrocephalus and the women have helped me so much.  Today at the ultrasound we learned the baby does not have hydrocephalus, but instead has Holoprosencephaly which is basically a much worse brain deformation. The baby's brain never split into the two hemispheres. Most babies do not make it through birth yet alone anytime after that. We have made the decision to terminate and have begun the process to do so. It was our decision to do what we felt was best for our baby. I have reached the acceptance stage of my grief and look at this situation as a learning experience. I learned how much I can love someone before ever meeting them, I learned how amazing and strong my husband is, and I learned I can count on my support system for just about anything. Once again thank you all for the concern and help. I truly wish you all the best of luck. Hopefully I will have the family we have been dreaming about the past 5 months someday.

nunzchucks

((Hugs)) to you and DH. So sorry for your loss and best wishes.

temursgirl

So sorry 

*hugs*

brooklyngirl46

kittymeowbark, you have shown so much strength. I can only offer internet hugs, t's and p's, but I am sending all of it. 

butterflymom2010

My heart completely breaks for you. Prayers for strength and healing...

EmbracingChange

I am so sorry, kitty. I've been thinking about you and waiting for an update wishing for good news.

  

chrissy1013

I'm so sad and sorry, Kitty. You have an amazing perspective on the situation and I admire your courage and strength. I will pray for you and your family.

SchoolPsychSteph

I'm very sorry for your loss. I've been thinking of you and your family.

chickpea912

I am so incredibly sorry to hear the news.  Wishing you much healing and peace.

lest12

I am so sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers will be with you, your DH and your LO.

Mrs_D_in_KY

My heart is breaking for you. Lots of prayers coming to you and your DH as you go through this very difficult time. Don't hesitate to talk/vent to any of us.

jenn72178

Sending you strength for the hard days ahead ...

chaysefaith

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. When you are ready the loss board as well as TTCAL will be waiting for you with open arms. Please make sure you lean on your support system however you feel most comfortable. If you need anyone to talk to, cry to, yell to...I'm here.

caitb413

So sorry y'all are going through this. Sending you lots of T&Ps.

lifeisbetteronthered

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I am glad you are getting the support you need, and have found some peace with what I am sure was a gut renching decision. Due to my job, I am very familiar with both holoprosencephaly and hydrocephalus.

The loss board was a great support when I had my miscarriage, and I too would suggest it, when you are ready.

Again, I am so sorry.

hlp2709

I am so sorry for ur loss and hope u get the family u want one day. Sending Hugs and keeping ur family in my thoughts and prays.

crestedlady

I am so very sorry and will be keeping you and your family in my prayers.

Puka99

I am so sorry to see this update. Hugs and prayers to you.

izzetoot

Im so sorry for everything you are going through right now:( I wish I could reach through this computer and give you a huge ((((((((((( HUG)))))))))))))

Its so wonderful that you have such a strong loving & supporting husband and you can lean on each other through this awful experience.  You are in my prayers.

sjn00

((Hugs))

JNerd

I am so sorry for your loss. My heart is breaking at your news. Praying for you and your family in this tragic time.

curlylocks3

I'm so very sorry. I'll be thinking of you and your family.

Abenedict2011

T&Ps for you and your family. So Very sorry for your loss.

coffee-saur

I am so sorry for your loss. 

Kristalina

Sending you love, hugs and prayers. So sorry to hear the sad news.

Julie&Micah

I am so sorry you did not receive the news you were hoping to! Thoughts and prayers for you and family as you go through this process!

b48kate

I truly lack words to properly express how so sorry I am to hear the news of this diagnosis. Your loss is unimaginable and I wish you all the best in your physical and emotional healing. If you need anything...you know we are here.

SandraPB1220

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Thoughts and prayers are with you for peace and healing.