.

awc1986

Missmommyxoxo said:

Guess what honey. That day will never happen. You wanna know why? Because me and my husband spent years saving and putting money away so that no matter what kind of emergency came up, we would always be financially stable. The only person who's gonna have a long walk home is you, when you wake up one day and your kid is 20 years old, and you think to yourself, "wow, I wish I could have spent more time with my kid, because now they aren't a kid anymore and I'll never get that time back because I decided some stupid job was more important than taking care of my responsibility, I decided I would pay someone else to take care of my responsibility instead." Think it's really worth it? Work all day just to have some extra money in your pocket, in exchange for letting some stranger watch your kid grow up more than you ever will?
Sad little world you live in, dearest.

Guess what honey, most women here have savings and have planned their pregnancies because they can afford to have children - myself included. You're not a special snowflake just because you have a rainy day fund.

I'm going back to work part time when my child is 9 months old because its my decision. I want my independence and my family want to help me do that. I can work from home if I wish. Having a baby doesn't mean you have to be chained to the kitchen sink. I'm lucky enough to live in a country where the government allows me to have 33 weeks paid mat leave at a reduced rate and my job must remain open for up to a year. Most women on this board don't have this luxury and their job may not be guaranteed after 6-12 weeks. Heaven forbid they might actually want to earn money for themselves! Stupid women!

Oh and don't come on a public forum with an opinion that's offensive to 90% of the people on it and expect not to get flamed. Lurk. Learn your audience. Most importantly, don't let the door hit your ass on your way out. PEACE.

mileswithmyles

Missmommyxoxo said:

Guess what honey. That day will never happen. You wanna know why? Because me and my husband spent years saving and putting money away so that no matter what kind of emergency came up, we would always be financially stable. The only person who's gonna have a long walk home is you, when you wake up one day and your kid is 20 years old, and you think to yourself, "wow, I wish I could have spent more time with my kid, because now they aren't a kid anymore and I'll never get that time back because I decided some stupid job was more important than taking care of my responsibility, I decided I would pay someone else to take care of my responsibility instead." Think it's really worth it? Work all day just to have some extra money in your pocket, in exchange for letting some stranger watch your kid grow up more than you ever will? Sad little world you live in, dearest.

It must be nice to live in such a delusional world.  Really?  ANY emergency?  Good luck.

Andplusalso- Hope you don't plan on sending your child to school either.  Wouldn't want someone else raising him/her.  

notreal2

I was leaning troll, but, since every answer has remained the same level of crazy and hasn't amped up, I am starting to think the OP may just be legit off her rocker.

So OP, I'll bite, what if the moms work and the dads stay at home?  Does such an idea compute in your black and white world?  Or do dads only love their children if they work and moms only love their children if they stay home?

NerdyLucy

Missmommyxoxo said:

Here's the thing ladies! This is a forum, incase you all haven't noticed. This is a place where everyone is free to speak their mind and their opinions,

Of course, dear, but it goes both ways. 

NerdyLucy

Missmommyxoxo said:

The only person who's gonna have a long walk home is you, when you wake up one day and your kid is 20 years old, and you think to yourself, "wow, I wish I could have spent more time with my kid, because now they aren't a kid anymore and I'll never get that time back because I decided some stupid job was more important than taking care of my responsibility, I decided I would pay someone else to take care of my responsibility instead."

Legitimate questions here.

Does this apply to all working fathers?  Will they all look back and wish that they would've spent time with their children instead of working to feed the family? 

If they do, do they get a pass from you?  If one parent doesn't get a pass from you, does the other parent?  Why only one parent and not the other?

 

ahare2009

Missmommyxoxo said:

Here's the thing ladies! This is a forum, incase you all haven't noticed. This is a place where everyone is free to speak their mind and their opinions, and that is exactly what I did. Now, clearly I can see most of you disagree with me, which is fine, I knew a lot of people would. But this post was not meant to be trolling or stirring up trouble, and I feel bad for all of you lashing out at me. You are obviously so set in your ways and your own beliefs, that god forbid if anyone disagrees with how you do things, let's comment on their post and call them names and get mad. Give me a break. I asked for people's opinions on the matter, I didn't ask for the rude remarks, we aren't in high school, ladies. Or maybe some of you are. But that's beside the point. And let me make one more thing very clear. Not that it's any of YOUR business, but I found a job I loved, I worked very hard to get it, then I got married. After I got married I wait years, before having kids. Why? Because I wanted to work that job, and love that job, and save up as much money as I could. So I did. Then my husband finally landed the job he had always wanted and was financially stable enough to support us without me having an income. THAT, is when I decided to have kids. My whole point to this, is that if you can't afford a kid on one income, don't have one. And if you love your job too much to quit it, don't have a kid. It's selfish to have a child and then pawn it off on someone else that works at a daycare center, or even a family member. Yes, having a family member watch your child would be better, but really, I'm sure if they wanted to take care of a kid all day they would have had their own. Now, this makes a lot of you mad, because you don't agree with that logic, AND THATS FINE, but don't attack me for feeling the way I feel. Speak your opinion and be nice about it, or get the hell off my post. Have a LOVELY day.

1. You asked for people's opinions as you so clearly stated.

2.  How does your post have anything to do with logic?

3. Again, you repeated speak your opinion.

mcgeeva

Oh where or where do I begin. Not everyone has the luxury to stay home. To say because I go back to work after having kids does not mean I could not afford them. Could you afford the thousands of dollars I paid to have a baby because I was not blessed with fertility?! Guess what my husband and I bust our asses at work to pay for treatments then to have a home, live in a good area with great schools to raise our kids in. I actually do love to go to work and I do not think that makes me a bad mother at all. My child is at an amazing at home daycare that is super loving, and when I am home with him he isn't sitting in front of the tv wasting away. We are reading books, playing sports outside together and yes..I still cook my child a meal from scratch for dinner every night. That's right it's not takeout or out of a box. So I think you passing judgements on people is crazy. There are so many factors that go into why people live the way they do. Are you a stay at home mom that has a full time nanny because your husband is a millionaire? Are you a stay at home mom at the gym all day or do you acutally take care of your kids yourself? Do you have to ask your husband for money at the end of the day to be able to treat yourself? Do you live out in the boonies and decided that you would rather be a stay at home mom and give up things for yourself? If so...that's GREAT FOR You..but not for others. I respect stay at home moms..I am just not one of them. We all make choices that work for our families.

KariB509

Go away. No one wants you here.

courtls22

Not only am I returning to work but gasp, I'm also a daycare teacher! You know that evil place all the horrible working moms send their children! I could go into all of the benefits of having your children in daycare surrounded by peers but I'm not even going to waste my time with that...

cksmith29

Aren't you a special one....  GO AWAY!  Your opinions are outdated and ignorant.  If you want to show the world how perfect you are, put it on Facebook where your "real friends" can praise your idiotic ideas. 

spacepotatoes

Kriztyn said:

Is this a serious post? Or something to get everyone riled up?? 

Good Luck to the poster... these pregnancy hormones we all have on this post will rip you to shreds. 

Why does someone always have to throw out the hormone comment? For serious, don't you think people would be offended and angered by this post regardless?

Ignorant bullshit is ignorant bullshit, pregnant or not. And this OP is full of ignorant bullshit.

awc1986

@letsgobowlingx - I'm throwing sexy love at you for the Antoine Dodson gif.

Ibliss

Op, by your definition anyone not blessed with financial stability should not have children. This world has all sorts from poor to billionaires. If someone legitimately struggled financially you would say they don't deserve to have children?

Someone's financial situation should not dictate whether they get to experience the joys of parenthood. Just because both parents need to or want to work shouldn't exclude them from having children.

Also I agree with PP. If it is so bad for the mother to be working away from her children and "missing out" on their childhood then, by your definition, shouldn't a family save enough money that BOTH parents can SAH to spend time with their children?

PS I call MUD

PrimRoseMama

If I'm entitled to my opinion, then I think your OP makes you sound like a judgey douche canoe.

Signed,
A SAHM

awc1986

Btw we were poor when I was growing up. My dad went to college to get his degree so he could make our lives better, so he wasn't around until I was about 3. He's the most important man in my life apart from my hub and we're incredibly close. I respect the sacrifices he made and he understands why I was afraid of him as a toddler. I saw him one out of every 4-5 weekends for 2 years and I would freak out when my mum left me alone with him because he was a stranger. He's still the biggest influence in my life and I love him more because of the hard work he put in to make life better for us.

My mum went back to work when I started school. I went to before and after school day care so she could work. She was my best friend until she died last year and I don't feel like I missed out on any time with her because she worked.

My parents instilled a great work ethic in me. I'm sorry you seem so averse to doing that for your children.

chaysefaith

Dafuq?!

I must be a special case. I was young and unmarried when I had my girls, I had no choice but to work. I'm not currently pg, but once I do have another baby I will be returning to work (I'm also still unmarried )...but I work from home so where do I fit in your uneducated opinion? I don't HAVE to work, my SO could take care of us on his income but we wouldn't be nearly as comfortable as we are with both of us working. We do have a nice savings, but it's not there for me to just quit working after we have a baby.

What do you suggest moms do once their kids are school aged and gone all day? Stay at home cleaning and preparing three course dinners for their family?

NerdyLucy

Ibliss said:

Also I agree with PP. If it is so bad for the mother to be working away from her children and "missing out" on their childhood then, by your definition, shouldn't a family save enough money that BOTH parents can SAH to spend time with their children?

YES, this is exactly what I'm wondering.  The logic just doesn't fly.

PrimRoseMama

Missmommyxoxo said:

My whole point to this, is that if you can't afford a kid on one income, don't have one.

And if you love your job too much to quit it, don't have a kid. It's selfish to have a child and then pawn it off on someone else that works at a daycare center, or even a family member.

Now, this makes a lot of you mad, because you don't agree with that logic, AND THATS FINE, but don't attack me for feeling the way I feel.
Speak your opinion and be nice about it, or get the hell off my post.
Have a LOVELY day.

See, the thing is your opinion is base, mean & really unsolicited. No working mom or even a SAHM actually asked you. I don't know how you can demand that folks respond in a nice way when you are making arbitrary judgments about their motives, lives & finances? You came out swinging, you see.

You get what you give. In this instance, you gave us a steaming pile of bullshit. Don't get upset when people respond in kind.

Finally, who died & made you God over who is allowed to procreate? Some can survive on next to nothing while others can still mismanage a 6-figure income. What is "enough" for you may be chump change & unacceptable income for another poster. Who are you to decide?

I'm a SAHM. I enjoy it. Not everyone does. I hated my job prior to my DD's birth & was happy to quit. However, it's not fair to ask anyone (male or female) to quit their job they love in order to SAH.

If working helps them feel like a better person all the way around then more power to them.

It's not your uterus, your kid or your finances-- so you don't get to have an opinion on what others do. You get an opinion on what you choose to do.

Bluebird2318

Oh wow. I'm a SAHM partly because I love it and partly because there is no way DH and I could afford daycare for two very young children if I were working. I can't decide if I am winning or failing in your book.  8-|

RondackHiker

@MelissaV10, did you think you could love the troll's comments and not be called on it? Come on out. Don't be a chickenshit. Share why you agree.

PrimRoseMama

Missmommyxoxo said:

Guess what honey. That day will never happen. You wanna know why? Because me and my husband spent years saving and putting money away...Think it's really worth it? Work all day just to have some extra money in your pocket, in exchange for letting some stranger watch your kid grow up more than you ever will?
Sad little world you live in, dearest.

Just to bring to light: it's not always that your husband would divorce you. What if he dies? What if he becomes disabled? Savings go incredibly quick when caring for a terminally ill family member or funeral expenses. You really don't have any idea what you are talking about & it shows.

A dual-income family is more than just pocket money, also. It can mean helping with college, family trips, & weddings/houses. I SAHM because I want to but I will be a working mom for #3. If I want a last child in the future I need to work. Otherwise we could not afford it. We feel very fortunate to be able to afford two children on one income.

So, does that mean I am not allowed to have a third baby? Where is the cut off?

Finally, kids do go to school you know. Am I a bad parent for wanting to help others by being a nurse while my kids learn at school? They are being cared for & taught by professionals. Is that allowed?

Your opinion is yours but it's seriously ill-informed, short sighted & inflammatory. I don't just disagree with you. I think you are acting like an ass.

Audsx

Happy parents = happy marriage/relationship = happy kids. If that involves one/both parents working so be it. How dare op make such a generalised statement regarding parenting- each family should be judged on its own merits and as long as parents are spending quality time with their children, and their children recognise this the fact that they work outside the home shouldn't matter- it infact could be empowering to the whole family.

BiggerinRealLife

Missmommyxoxo said:

This does not apply to single mothers, or unplanned pregnancies. This applies to the women who are married or are with the father of the child, and who planned to get pregnant.

Awesome! So if I was in a same-sex relationship and we both wanted to work we'd be good to go? Thank God your idiocy only applies to WOMEN who are with the FATHER of the child. Them gays gots it hard enuf as it is!

klitwin1

Yeah you are just an asshole.

TrueBeliever925

sloger

Missmommyxoxo said:

I understand some people go to work because they love their job, but I figure if you love your job that much and you're that committed to it, then maybe having kids isn't a good idea. Having kids is a whole job of its own. You can't commit fully to both, one of is going to take more of your time. That's why I think if you choose a career path that's going to be a very demanding job, then you should have your husband stay home or have other arrangements. These are all the things that I personally think, and I just wanted to see who agreed and who disagreed for what reasons. I'm not on crack nor am I butting into your decisions. I didn't ask you to comment on this post. I voiced my opinion and I gave people the option to speak their mind on the subject. Have a nice day.

Wouldn't another arrangement be having my child in daycare or with a babysitter? andplusalso the child would spend at the most 6-8 hours in daycare so....does that mean the other 16-18 hours of the day we would be ignoring our children? I didn't realize that when I pick up my child from daycare that she called the daycare worker "mommy" instead of me. Idk where you get your info but it takes a lot longer than 6-8 hours a day to raise a child. ALSO does that mean you and your husband won't go out on dates because you don't want to leave your child with someone else because you think they'd be raising it for you those few hours they have it?

Speshul

Missmommyxoxo said:

Guess what honey. That day will never happen. You wanna know why? Because me and my husband spent years saving and putting money away so that no matter what kind of emergency came up, we would always be financially stable. The only person who's gonna have a long walk home is you, when you wake up one day and your kid is 20 years old, and you think to yourself, "wow, I wish I could have spent more time with my kid, because now they aren't a kid anymore and I'll never get that time back because I decided some stupid job was more important than taking care of my responsibility, I decided I would pay someone else to take care of my responsibility instead." Think it's really worth it? Work all day just to have some extra money in your pocket, in exchange for letting some stranger watch your kid grow up more than you ever will? Sad little world you live in, dearest.

Your kid isn't going to be home 24/7 for 20 years. How will money help you when your kid rebels against your overbearing narrow minded stuck up attitude? Maybe when your kid is 20 years old you will think "Maybe I shouldn't have acted like such shrew, then maybe my child would be talking to me." Stick around on the forums, I'm sure he/she will be posting vents about you one day.

Sunshinelou

 

Sunshinelou

You sound like you think you are doing the world a favor by having a child grow up with YOU as their primary influence but, I hope that in all this time you have at home with your children you can learn to raise them to be kinder and less condescending than you.

My son's preschool has been amazing teaching him appropriate social skills such as being patient, kind, and understanding. Maybe you could consider at least sending your child a couple days of week because it doesn't sound like they are going to learn these skills from you at home.

erind0213

Wow, you really wanted to start some trouble.

I had somebody actually say this to me once, why have children.

Could I afford to stay at home YES, but it is not for me to stay at home. I like to work, I like my career and I love my family. I feel I have a great balance.

Also, with today's economic downfalls, you would be crazy to give up a salary for no reason, and put all your eggs in one basket. What happens if your husband loses his job, or has health issues and can no longer work?

mrsB68

So if I can afford to quit my job, do drugs all day while staying home and BFing my child and being a FT SAHM then that = good parent? But providing the best for my baby and working
= bad parent?

Also, shouldn't you be saying that if you can't afford to get pregnant and quit your job then you shouldn't be having sex because you'll be a bad parent if it's an unplanned pregnancy? Because your views conflict.

You clearly have your priorities up a cows a$$. And because you probably can't figure this out...these are rhetorical questions.

If you work or stay at home you can be a great mom. If you make a lot of $ or live paycheck to paycheck you can be a great mom. If you send your kid to daycare (where tey get to interact and build social skills with other kids) or keep your kids at home, you can be a great mom. Dig in the cow...dig really far for reality.

Missmommyxoxo

I never said one word about anyone being a bad mom, now you're just putting words in my mouth. My stories do not contradict. I said this DOES NOT apply to unplanned pregnancies. That was like literally in the first few lines of my comment. Can you not read? I think if you plan to have a kid and know you're going to have to leave them to go back to work, then you should rethink that plan. I don't see why you would bring a child into the world so you can send them off to daycare all day and then spend maybe two or three hours with them at night then send them off to bed. I would not choose making money or "loving my job" over spending all day everyday with my kid. If you want them to be in daycare all day, you might as well just leave them there since technically the daycare is caring for them more than you.
Get your head out of YOUR ass, lady.

Ibliss

So @Missmommyxoxo should both parents feel this way? Should the father also not choose making money or loving his job over "spending all day every day" with his child?

Missmommyxoxo

Wow how hard did you stare at that paragraph just to pick out two words to over analyze lol

spacepotatoes

We get your point. We just don't agree with any of it. You can stop repeating it now. Enjoy staying at home with your kid and judging the rest of us.

Speshul

Missmommyxoxo said:

I never said one word about anyone being a bad mom, now you're just putting words in my mouth. My stories do not contradict. I said this DOES NOT apply to unplanned pregnancies. That was like literally in the first few lines of my comment. Can you not read? I think if you plan to have a kid and know you're going to have to leave them to go back to work, then you should rethink that plan. I don't see why you would bring a child into the world so you can send them off to daycare all day and then spend maybe two or three hours with them at night then send them off to bed. I would not choose making money or "loving my job" over spending all day everyday with my kid. If you want them to be in daycare all day, you might as well just leave them there since technically the daycare is caring for them more than you. Get your head out of YOUR ass, lady.

Missmommyxoxo

No, I'm old fashion, I believe the man works and the woman stays home. I made the baby, I gave birth to the baby, I do all the mothering and raising.
But as people have been saying, I'm still living in the 1950's. And I'm perfectly okay with that.

Ibliss

Actually I brought this up earlier. Your point seems to be that a parent would be selfish or making poor decisions to choose going to work over spending time with their child. I am asking if you believe this true for both parents.

Is the father going to wake up in 20 years and wish he hadn't worked all day to provide instead of spending more time with his child?

mileswithmyles

Missmommyxoxo said:

I never said one word about anyone being a bad mom, now you're just putting words in my mouth. My stories do not contradict. I said this DOES NOT apply to unplanned pregnancies. That was like literally in the first few lines of my comment. Can you not read? I think if you plan to have a kid and know you're going to have to leave them to go back to work, then you should rethink that plan. I don't see why you would bring a child into the world so you can send them off to daycare all day and then spend maybe two or three hours with them at night then send them off to bed. I would not choose making money or "loving my job" over spending all day everyday with my kid. If you want them to be in daycare all day, you might as well just leave them there since technically the daycare is caring for them more than you. Get your head out of YOUR ass, lady.

Seeing as how most people work 8 hours a day and there are 24 hours in a day, I am going to disagree here.  Not to mention weekends!  Based on my calculations, a child would only be in day care 23.8% of the time.  Just sayin'.

Like I said before, I am curious if you, @missmommyxoxo, are going to send your child to school as well.  Are you then letting the teacher "raise" your child?

ETA- Watch the movie Idiocracy.  If we all waited until we had enough money to never have to work, the world would be a scary place.

Missmommyxoxo

Haha! But sadly sweetie, it appears you do care. You took the time out of your day to go and find not one, but two gifs, and post them on my comment.
Bye bye!