Newly Preg with two teens at home...

KochavKatan

I was wondering how to tell my kids (1 DS and 1 SS, both about 12 years old) that DH and I are expecting our first child together.  On the one hand, I think they will be very excited, but on the other hand, they might be jealous or feel like they will be loved less than this baby.  I am trying to figure out what's the best way to tell them (and when's the best time) - has anyone had to deal with something like this with kids as old as mine? 

 

joshsmandy

Our kids are older bug not in their teens yet. My SD is 10, DS is 8 and DD is 6. We took them out to dinner and shared the news there with them that way they felt like they were celebrating to. Good luck figuring out the best way for your situation

Sigir

I don't have experience w a child that age- my dd was 7 and 8 when I was pregnant. Just wanted to add my opinion about telling early though- I don't think it's good. I have a sensitive kid, but I know she'd be pretty upset if I lost a baby and I don't see the point of burdening a child w that baggage. I can see getting support w a miscarriage from family members but it's not a child's place to have to offer support to their mom/stepmom IMO.

In regards to the op, I like the idea of celebrating it at dinner and then following the child's cues. If they are interested, include them in everything. If they are a 12 yr old boy who does not seem to care, keep them in the loop and don't be disappointed... It's natural. Best of luck it'll all work out.

Ilumine

jdoud77 said:

Plus if anything were to happen she'd already be in the know and she would be there for added support.

Not for nothing, but no 14 yo should be shouldering the support of her parent's grief when s/he is not emotionally old enough to handle her own feelings.  

Grief support is actually the job of the parent.   

Wahoo

Don't assume that they will be angry or jealous.  Celebrate the good news with them when you are ready and treat it as a joyous event for them to share.  Yes, they may seem unintrested (and may become jealous), but don't start out assuming the worst.  Teens become more about their friends as they get older, so it may not be too big of a competition for attention.  It is a different relationship.  At the same time, make sure you / H don't push them aside and assume they will understand that the baby will get more attention - you can arrange your schedules, divide and conquor so that the teens get attention too.