Depressed

MandiDLuv

I'm not pregnant yet it's disappointed AF came a day early. I'm depressed about the fact that everything my body was telling me was wrong. I feel like I'm going crazy.

norweigan

You are not alone. 

LuckyPenny1231

I'm sorry

KrissyLeighN

 

MandiDLuv said:

I'm not pregnant yet it's disappointed AF came a day early. I'm depressed about the fact that everything my body was telling me was wrong. I feel like I'm going crazy.

Really?  I've been trying for two years and still don't have a baby.  Some other girls here have been trying for even longer.  While I surely sympathize with anyone trying who has not yet been able to conceive, it's hard to sympathize with an internet stranger-bot whom I know nothing about.

How long have you been trying?  Have you been temping?  How do you know AF came a day early?  PMS and pregnancy are both driven by the hormone progesterone, so it's not uncommon to confuse the two and read into the symptoms you're feeling.

Read the Newbie Blog pinned to the top of the TTGP forum, buy a BBT and sign up for fertility friend.

I'm sorry you're feeling let down and depressed, feel better.

sunlavender

Once you start TTC you analyze every detail of your body/cycle.  PMS symptoms closely mirror early pregnancy symtpoms.  Learning about your body and your cycle can help give you the best possible odds of conception each month and alleviate some anxiety. 

gscoville

MandiDLuv said:

I'm not pregnant yet it's disappointed AF came a day early. I'm depressed about the fact that everything my body was telling me was wrong. I feel like I'm going crazy.

If you truly are 'depressed', you need to seek professional help, counselling and possibly medication if warranted. If you're just feeling down, please don't glibly throw around the term 'depressed' like that. I have family members who deal with true clinical depression, it's a serious thing and it really pisses me off when people use the term interchangeably with momentary disappointment over something.

LokiTTGP

It is Tom Tuesday.  How can one be sad on Tom Tuesday?

Chin up and try again next cycle!

gscoville

LokiTTGP said:

It is Tom Tuesday.  How can one be sad on Tom Tuesday?

Chin up and try again next cycle!

I PPH you...thee...thou...

MandiDLuv

My husband and I have been married since May 2013. We have no children and have been trying for a month for our first. I have Biplor depression and panic and anxiety attacks. I have been in counseling for years. I'm currently on medication to help but some days are harder than others. I have been a member to the nest for a year now. I'm new to forums and I have to have someone to talk to about what's going with me.  

mrs_tacos

No one likes CD1. I second the suggestion that you intro, so we know who on earth you are, and then get involved with the Waiting to O thread (and after you ovulate the 2WW thread), which is a more appropriate place to post thoughts like these.

1and1is3

I get what you're feeling. Pretty sure we all do. Being disappointed is part of the process. Drink a glass of wine and try again next month. Good luck
Edit: To say that I don't get exactly what you're feeling since I don't have depression. I'm sure you feel everything much more strongly. I'm sorry you're going through that but glad you have a therapist to talk to.

janda426

MandiDLuv said:

My husband and I have been married since May 2013. We have no children and have been trying for a month for our first. I have Biplor depression and panic and anxiety attacks. I have been in counseling for years. I'm currently on medication to help but some days are harder than others. I have been a member to the nest for a year now. I'm new to forums and I have to have someone to talk to about what's going with me.  

You've been trying a whole month. Okay. You need to understand now and perhaps speak with your therapist about accepting the fact it can take a healthy couple up to a year to conceive. I'm sorry you're taking it so hard but you can take comfort in the fact that there's nothing to worry about right now.

ngolimento

OP, it is not unusual for a perfectly healthy couple to take up to a YEAR to get pregnant.

I mean this in the nicest way, but if only one month of trying sends you into a depressive episode, are you sure you are in the right place for a child?

joshua+rebecca11

It can take up to a year for a healthy couple to get pregnant. Reading how your body works will significantly increase your chances each month...you need to know when you ovulated and time having sex around then. Check out the newbie blog and fertility friend...they are a great place to start!! I'm sorry you're discouraged, keep your chin and up, learn what you can and try again.

missnacholover

MandiDLuv said:

My husband and I have been married since May 2013. We have no children and have been trying for a month for our first. I have Biplor depression and panic and anxiety attacks. I have been in counseling for years. I'm currently on medication to help but some days are harder than others. I have been a member to the nest for a year now. I'm new to forums and I have to have someone to talk to about what's going with me.  

Oh my.  Very few couples hit one right out of the park their first at bat.  You only have 20% chance of conceiving any given month with well timed sex, so the odds are never in your favor. 

If you are truly depressed about not conceiving your first month, I suggest you talk to your mental health professional sooner rather than later.

MusicFanatic

MandiDLuv said:

My husband and I have been married since May 2013. We have no children and have been trying for a month for our first. I have Biplor depression and panic and anxiety attacks. I have been in counseling for years. I'm currently on medication to help but some days are harder than others. I have been a member to the nest for a year now. I'm new to forums and I have to have someone to talk to about what's going with me.  

Like everyone has mentioned, a month is really nothing. It can take a year+.

That said, I'm sure we all understand disappointment every cycle that our period comes, even when it hasn't been long. Because you're hopeful. It's soooo super important to realize your chances, though, and that it CAN take awhile. I'm sorry it wasn't your cycle, and hope it happens soon for you.

nswain85

Whenever I am feeling bummed out about a pregnancy not happening during a cycle I like to just kind of check out for a few days from all the baby "stuff". I usually take a bit of a break from the boards here and invest some time into another fun hobby I have. After I feel better about things I like to do some research about new things to try out for the next cycle and make a plan of attck to feel prepared going in. I would for sure read the newbie blog and be sure that you keep your medical help posted on your feelings and emotions with TTC. This is such a roller coaster ride that it is easy to get swept away and consumed by it all. Good luck! 

DominoThunderball

Awwwww...don't beat up on someone who is feeling blue because she chose the word "depressed" to describe her feelings.  I am in healthcare and I don't think it's improper to use the word "depressed" to describe how one feels.  If she feels "depressed" she's allowed to feel that way and doesn't need anyone telling her how she can and cannot feel based on DSM V criteria.  While you may be sensitive to the issue of depression, and I do not blame you for feeling that way, ask yourself if you really want to lash out and bring someone down who's already having a really hard time. We should support one another, not bring each other down.

Besides, the feeling of  frustration with trying to conceive is subjective.  Just because you've been trying longer, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're frustration is more than her's.  While, I would agree that trying to convcieve for a year or longer is a more stressful situation than TTC for a month or two, you can't tell someone the way they feel irrelevant.  Kind of like pain - it's all subjective and very individual to the person.  Again, we should try to be compassionate and understanding of eachother.

Mandi - I'm sorry that you were feeling down.  If you haven't been charting - you should! You can chart your most fertile days by using your temperature and you can even buy some cheap ovulation predictor kits off of Amazon.  Wondfo brand has been working for me.  Here is some good info on using basal temp charting - https://www.upmc.com/patients-visitors/education/pregnancy/pages/basal-body-temperature.aspx

If you use the ovulation predictor kit, you'll want to have sex starting the first positive day and then at for at least the two subsequent days following the first positive reading.  Good luck to you!!

DominoThunderball

Also, I think nswain85 had some really good advice!!

GoaliesWife123

MandiDLuv said:

My husband and I have been married since May 2013. We have no children and have been trying for a month for our first. I have Biplor depression and panic and anxiety attacks. I have been in counseling for years. I'm currently on medication to help but some days are harder than others. I have been a member to the nest for a year now. I'm new to forums and I have to have someone to talk to about what's going with me.  

Seriously. 

DominoThunderball

Thanks for clarifying. I didn't read through the whole thread.  It just made me so sad when I got to some of the comments up top that, to me, seemed to be correcting her and not giving her any sort of compassion and support - which is what the OP seemed to be reaching out for.

DominoThunderball

NellyBluth said:

DominoThunderball said:

Thanks for clarifying. I didn't read through the whole thread.  It just made me so sad when I got to some of the comments up top that, to me, seemed to be correcting her and not giving her any sort of compassion and support - which is what the OP seemed to be reaching out for.

The thing is, we don't know her. We give support and compassion to people who are members of the community- those who also offer support and compassion to us. If it was known that she actually does suffer from depression, you would not have seen those comments. I think people were actually pretty kind to her. Perhaps you should lurk a little more to get a feel for our community and see if it suits you.

Thanks for the advice!  I will use the comment button.  I've never used a discussion board before, so I'm kinda new to it all.  

MandiDLuv

Thank you everyone for your advice. I know more than I did before I posted this thread. I now know that there is a 20% chance every  month to get pregnant. I appreciate that bit of information. I do suffer from Biplor Depression and do take CAT C drugs which I plan on switching from. I was hoping for more support from some of the other women online that have been trying longer. I thought that maybe I could just get someone to tell me been there you will get through it, not the critics  I got. I thought this was the place that I could go to and rant or just tell someone about how I feel. Now I don't know if that is true anymore. I have been a member to the nest and the bump for a year now. I have seen how newbies can be treated and this is a good example of how they can be treated by some of the members.
   I'm hurt to think that there are women out there that think how I feel is joke. I was hoping that maybe just maybe someone out there felt the same as I do. That's all I wanted was support in this long journey.
  To give you a little history about me I have had one miscarriage and I was 16. That is when the depression about ttc, babies, etc. came to head. I have talked to my counselor about this and he told me to be patient and that nature will take its course.

DominoThunderball

MandiDLuv said:

Thank you everyone for your advice. I know more than I did before I posted this thread. I now know that there is a 20% chance every  month to get pregnant. I appreciate that bit of information. I do suffer from Biplor Depression and do take CAT C drugs which I plan on switching from. I was hoping for more support from some of the other women online that have been trying longer. I thought that maybe I could just get someone to tell me been there you will get through it, not the critics  I got. I thought this was the place that I could go to and rant or just tell someone about how I feel. Now I don't know if that is true anymore. I have been a member to the nest and the bump for a year now. I have seen how newbies can be treated and this is a good example of how they can be treated by some of the members. 
   I'm hurt to think that there are women out there that think how I feel is joke. I was hoping that maybe just maybe someone out there felt the same as I do. That's all I wanted was support in this long journey. 
  To give you a little history about me I have had one miscarriage and I was 16. That is when the depression about ttc, babies, etc. came to head. I have talked to my counselor about this and he told me to be patient and that nature will take its course. 

Well, Mandi, I am one for being supportive.

I am sorry about your miscarriage.  That must have been a really hard time for you.  It's scary enough to get pregnant at 16, but then to lose it too - that's a whole lot of change and stress all at once.  You are a brave person to make it through that.  If you can get through that - you can get through a lot!

On another note - make sure you talk to your provider about switching the Cat C drugs soon. I'm sure you'll have no problem making the transition to a new drug regimen, but you probably want to make sure the more pregnancy-friendly drugs are going to be OK for you before getting pregnant. You owe it to yourself first to take care of you.  You're going to be the most important thing to that new baby, so take care of yourself and make that appointment with your doctor to discuss what your drug options are and when you can make the switch (if you've not already done so).

Better luck for the next cycle - you'll get there eventually! Just try not to stress about it (easier said than done, I know).  If there's anything that helps distract you from stress, I say take it up full-time!

DominoThunderball

I wasn't suggesting you weren't being supportive...I was just responding to her comment.  She shared some heavy information there and I wanted her to know that I was offering her some support.  I apologize if it didn't come across that way!!  Totally didn't mean it like that.

janda426

Dude are you kidding me right now? No one was shitty. First of all, @DominoThunder don't you dare come in here telling us we aren't supportive. You don't even fucking post here, you haven't seen what some of the women here have been through and the support, advice, condolences, thoughts and prayers that have been given to them. I share more with the women here than I do in real life. You don't know the first thing about any of us, so don't come in here all high and mighty because some of us wanted clarification on whether the OP was actually depressed or just being over dramatic. The advice is VERY different depending.

Many ladies here have experience with anxiety and depression, if not first hand then by relation. None of us are insensitive to that issue. But quite honestly, for the OP to be a stranger and come here complaining about not having success after one month when there are women here who have been trying for years, I mean let's compare who's being sensitive to who here. She was given good advice to her situation. If you plan on sticking around, I'd just shut your mouth until you have any clue what you're talking about. Thanks.

janda426

Oh god I missed the part about your therapist telling you to just let nature take it's course, OP. That is BS. Stick around here, take advantage of all the learning tools we reference and hopefully you will find comfort in having so much knowledge about your cycle and be able to give it your best effort each month. May I suggest finding another therapist, if yours is essentially telling you to chill and let whatever happens happen. I promise you I don't make light of what you struggle with. I've seen the worst of anxiety and depression in my family. I just recommend you get the best help you can and not waste any time with a "professional" who sounds like a moron.

DominoThunderball

  

janda426 said:

Dude are you kidding me right now? No one was shitty. First of all, @DominoThunder don't you dare come in here telling us we aren't supportive. You don't even fucking post here, you haven't seen what some of the women here have been through and the support, advice, condolences, thoughts and prayers that have been given to them. I share more with the women here than I do in real life. You don't know the first thing about any of us, so don't come in here all high and mighty because some of us wanted clarification on whether the OP was actually depressed or just being over dramatic. The advice is VERY different depending. Many ladies here have experience with anxiety and depression, if not first hand then by relation. None of us are insensitive to that issue. But quite honestly, for the OP to be a stranger and come here complaining about not having success after one month when there are women here who have been trying for years, I mean let's compare who's being sensitive to who here. She was given good advice to her situation. If you plan on sticking around, I'd just shut your mouth until you have any clue what you're talking about. Thanks.

I truly apologize for any offense I've caused anyone.  I was just trying to help her out by validating her in how she was feeling and letting her know that she shouldn't feel like she's not allowed to feel the way she does. She shouldn't feel like people are policing how she can and cannot feel.  That's all.  I'm very sorry if anything I've said has upset anyone.  Thanks for your advice.  I guess I need to learn more about the of an online community - and apparently those manners involve a lot of swearing. I'll take note for next time!

DominoThunderball

That should have said: 

I guess I need to learn more about the *manners* of an online community.

DominoThunderball

Thank you for your advice.

janda426

I cursed two times. It's time to leave the internet if an adult saying two curse words is that offensive. FFS

ngolimento

ngolimento

DominoThunderball

For some reason the "quotation" button isn't working for me...but this is in response to Janda's post - "I cursed two times. It's time to leave the internet if an adult saying two curse words is that offensive. FFS"

I'm really not offended by anyone on here.  Holy shit.  All I wanted to do was help out the OP because to me it seemed people were bullying her a little bit.  Again, I just wanted to make a point that we shouldn't tell others how they can and cannot feel.  Jeebus save us from this discussion.  I apologize to you all that my thoughts caused so much vitriol and anger.  I had no idea I was being so offensive in my comments.  I'm out!

ngolimento

DominoThunderball said:

For some reason the "quotation" button isn't working for me...but this is in response to Janda's post - "I cursed two times. It's time to leave the internet if an adult saying two curse words is that offensive. FFS"

I'm really not offended by anyone on here.  Holy shit.  All I wanted to do was help out the OP because to me it seemed people were bullying her a little bit.  Again, I just wanted to make a point that we shouldn't tell others how they can and cannot feel.  Jeebus save us from this discussion.  I apologize to you all that my thoughts caused so much vitriol and anger.  I had no idea I was being so offensive in my comments.  I'm out!

QFP

Not much else to add :P

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

DominoThunderball

Meladorie, I'm really sorry to hear about what you've been through.  I hear what you are saiyng, and I love the reference to the "pain Olympics".  That is pretty funny!  Also, I will try to refrain from apostrophes.  I agree with you -  the situation the OP is in right now with respect to her TTC journey is not the same as someone who has had multiple miscarriages, cannot conceive, etc. I have friends that have been through YEARS of drugs and IVF and still couldn't concieve.  One friend finally concieved after a year and a half of trying, but it turned out to be ectopic and she had to have part of her fallopian tube removed.  She was completely devastated.  That said, a few months later she was able to get pregnant and now has a healthy little boy. So, there are still a lot of happy endings

 But back to what I was trying to say -- I do not think that TTC for one month is the exact same experience as TTC for two years. What I meant in my first comment was this could very well be the OPs greatest frustration.  If that is all she knows right now as frustration in her TTC journey, she may feel as stressed or frustrated or "down" as someone who has been trying for longer.  If you asked her to rate her frustration on a scale of 0 -10 she might give it a 10.  However, in a year from now if she were still trying to conceive and you asked her to rate her frustration at that moment, she might give it a 10 and realize that the frustration she was feeling in her first month of trying to conceive was...maybe a 3 (or something).  Perspective is everything.

I once broke my arm and if you asked me what that pain was, I would have told you a 10 out of 10. After going through labor (and hopefully that will happen for us all one day sooner rather than later!), I have a feeling I would rate that broken arm pain as more of a 6 or a 7.  Does that make sense?  

Our feelings and how we deal with them, and even how our body responds to them physiologically, are often times relative to our past/life experiences.  I hope I'm making sense.  

But, to reiterate, I do not think that what you posted above is incorrect at all - you are definitely right.  I'm just trying to explain what I meant.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

DominoThunderball

Pain is subjective.  And I was 12 years old when I broke my arm.  It was the most painful thing I had ever experienced and yes I would have rated it as 10 when I was 12.  Would I have rated it like that today?  Probably not because perspective is everything.  I was just trying to use that as an example to further explain what was kind of an abstract concept.

If you'd like to read more about the subjectivity of pain, you can do so here.  It's really very interesting. 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2959190/

janda426

I've had way too many patients sit there and calmly tell me their pain was a 10 out of 10 to buy into that "subjective" bullshit. Over reacting is what it is. A man running around on fire is a 10 out of 10. Breaking your arm? Definitely quite painful but nowhere close. Have enough awareness of others to realize your pain sucks, but on the pain scale given to all patients, is not highest on the scale.