Books on BFs? — The Bump
Blended Families

Books on BFs?

I am curious to know if anyone has found some good story books about blended families.

I have been scouring Amazon as of late, and I can find story books for younger kids (SS is 5 y/o) regarding divorce and "why mommy and daddy are mad at each other" type things but DH and BM haven't been together for SS entire life (since he was just an infant). So, he doesn't really have a hard time understanding why he has two different houses.

I guess I am just wanting to find a book or story about Step Parents and their roll in a kids life. I find it hard to explain to him in a kid-friendly way. Some books about adoption seem KIND OF applicable but not really.

Ideas? TIA!

Re: Books on BFs?

  • I don't know of any books but it seems like just telling him that he has a lot of people/family who love him is the best thing you can do. 

    As far as conflict between BD and BM seems like it would be explained like any other adult conflict.  People don't always get along regardless of whether it is his parents or any other friends or family in his life.  Do you and his dad get a long 100% of the time?

  • These are a little old for your child, but my SS loves Amelia Rules.  She is a girl that had to move because of her parents divorce and she has step-siblings, and deals a lot with having 2 houses.  Probably more appropriate for grades 3 - 6.

    Also, Jeff Probst (Survivor) writes a series of books about step-siblings stranded on an island.  I can't remember if they are called Stranded or Survivor. 

    Depending on how mature your SS is - you could possibly read these books at bedtime a few chapters at a time.  You would have to read the books first and decide.

    These aren't exactly books about why Mom and Dad don't like each other - but it helps my son relate - its nice to know there are characters in books that are like you.

  • I guess I phrased our situation poorly. I don't think books about DH and BM getting along are applicable because they don't have conflicts often (mainly because BM never comes around).

    There is no CO in place, but we have SS Monday-Fri and BM has him on Sat & Sun ... when she decides she has time to see him. So, we more or less have him 90% of the time.

    I don't think he's mature for his age, and he's never asked about why he doesn't get to live with his Mom. I would attribute this to the fact that he just never has. I am a little nervous for when the questions DO start though. Who knows - maybe I'll come up with some sparkly and entertaining story on the spot to explain to him why he doesn't get to see BM often. LOL

  • No sparkly entertaining stories. Just the truth. Honest and age appropriate. Instead of saying, "your mom and dad screwed around and now she doesn't have time for you" you would tell him that a long time ago they decided they could not get along and be married but wanted to make sure that he still had the best they could offer and living in two places, sometimes spending more time with Daddy, was what they decided. And they decided this because they both love him very much. And then his daddy met you and you feel in love with his daddy and him. And now he has so many more people that love him.

    If he asks why BM doesn't see him often, be honest. You don't know.

    Honesty goes a long way with kids. And don't make a big deal about something if your SS is not making a deal out of it.
  • Thanks @ambrvan! I am very blessed to have been in SS's life since he was just an infant. We have a good relationship with each other, and I think I am just scared for when he gets a little older and starts asking why me and why not his mom.

    What you said was really great, though. And hopefully when the time comes I am not so caught-off-guard and can actually put it that articulately and not panic and hide under the bed.

    :D  I'm kidding, but seriously - Thanks!
  • There really is no need to panic over that. Every family is different and that is just the way things are best in your family. Kids want honest answers to their questions. You will create more problems later if you cover it with sprinkles. And never make excuses for BM's behavior (or anyone's for that matter). Your job is to help him learn to handle reality as easily as possible, not to shelter him from it.

    The parts you are worried about are really not the hardest parts of being a blended family. Just let it roll.
  • I certainly can understand your fear.  As a child who has always felt less than number one in my mothers life it is something he will struggle with all of his life.  I would certainly recommend therapy at some point.  Being rejected by your own parent leaves a lasting scar.  And really I just don't think that is something you can personally do a whole lot about.  Other than always showing him that you and his dad love him and are always there for him.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards