Do we really need a nursery? Question for STM

BabyCurtiss2014

Hi Ladies!
I have a question for STMs...a few of my friends that already have kids said that they didn't really end up using their nurseries. One of my friends has a 16 month girl and said she had never slept in her crib! Our situation is like this. We have a big house (live in TX) and the bedrooms are upstairs and the master is allllllll the way downstairs. We didn't think about this as a negative when we got the house but now that we are expecting those other rooms seem just soooo far from our room. Everyone said the baby will sleep in our room in a bassinet the first 6 months or so, so we are wondering, do we just not even bother making a nursery. Do we just get a bassinet or crib and a changing table to keep in our bedroom and wait until he is a toddler to set up his room? I really want to do a nursery but my hubby seems to think it might not be necessary at this point...I need advice lol. What are the pros/cons and for those of you with kiddos what would you do in this situation. Thanks for your advice!! :-)

BrunoBabies

My son was only in our room for 4 months and then I put him in his nursery, which is what I plan on doing again. I know everyone has their own views on this, but for us I want our room to be for me and hubby. I feel if the baby is in there too long you tend to lose intimacy. Just IMO.

TonyaCody06

I live in TX. In a 2 story house. Babies sleep in your room for as long as you let them. I move mine at 3-4mo. Climbing stairs is not that hard. I'd HIGHLY recommend teaching any child to sleep in their own bed. It's important for a sound marriage to keep your bed for you and your spouse only. I could not imagine not having a private space for my husband and I each night. GL!

bebemac

I can't wait to see input and opinions on this. We are in the same situation as far as master on the main.

nunzchucks

TonyaCody06 said:

I live in TX. In a 2 story house. Babies sleep in your room for as long as you let them. I move mine at 3-4mo. Climbing stairs is not that hard. I'd HIGHLY recommend teaching any child to sleep in their own bed. It's important for a sound marriage to the your bed for you and your spouse. I could not imagine not having a private space for my husband and I each night. GL!

Everyone's parenting style is different, but this is us, too. Our bed/bedroom is for DH and me. DD moved into her own room around 10 weeks.

mattscountrygirl

Our bedroom is downstairs and DS is upstairs. He went in his crib around 3-4 months I believe. Going upstairs isn't a problem and I don't see it being a problem. Yes, it can be a pain sometimes but I want our bedroom to be ours. I don't want kids in our bed every night. LO on the way will be upstairs too probably around the same time DS was. But you need to do what is best for you. If co-sleeping is for you then go for it. Whatever works for your family.

KeyLime81

We kept DS in our room for about 10 weeks.  Then, we moved him to his nursery.  We ALL slept better after that!  

You have a few options...if you really think you'll keep LO in your room for the first 6 months, maybe you'll still want to set up a nursery, but make it feel more like a toddler room from the get go.  Babies have a habit of accumulating stuff, you'll be glad to have a space for it all.  

Or, if you know you'll want more children, go ahead and set up a nursery that you can use again in the future...just keep that room as a "nursery" and move your LO to a "big kid" room when the time comes.

I hear you though...we have two bedrooms on the main floor (master and nursery) and two bedrooms on the lower level (like a walk out basement).  We'll be moving DS to the lower level come spring, and I'm sort of scared of the transition.  He'll seem so far away...but we'll adjust.  It's not like we won't be in the same house  

bebemac

My concern isn't the stairs, more so the distance and increased reaction time should something happen.

Sareynoo

We shared our room with dd for the first 12 months or so. First she stayed in a bassinet then in the bed with us. She used her crib and stayed in her own room after we moved her out of ours. We had a nursery but just kept her stuff in there. It was just across the hall from our room.

tbmadeamistake

We had C in her own room from day 1. Wait, no, she and lived on the couch for the first two weeks, but I made sure she at least got one sleep cycle a day in her crib. That said, our nursery is right across the hall. Now that Charlie is coming, she'll move to one of our upstairs rooms and charlie will take over the nursery. I can't sleep with her in our room, never could, she's a noisy sleeper. If I were you, I'd still make a room upstairs for lo, but maybe not make as baby centered as a nursery us. Buy a regular dresser and stick a changing pad on top for when you Have lo up there. That sort of thing. That way you have a room if you end up using it, but its also ready for a toddler if you wait that long.

snowpants

Roo was in a bassinet near our bed for maybe 4-5 weeks before we moved her to her crib. (She did naps in her crib even earlier.) I'm so thankful we made the transition early as she's a great sleeper and DH and I have our privacy. She does well sleeping in the same room with us (in her PnP in hotels or while visiting family for example) but prefers her space, as do we!

Our room is not on the same floor as hers and honestly I really don't like it. Like you, we never considered that aspect when buying the house because kids weren't on our minds yet. I can't wait to move yo a different house with a different layout, but even with that annoyance I'm still SO glad she learned to sleep in her own room at a young age.

Pepper6

It depends on your parenting style, but if you aren't sure, I would set something up that can easily transition into a toddler room (ie don't go with an overly "baby" scheme and get a convertible crib so you can use it as a toddler bed if you skip the crib stage). That way you have your options open and at least have a dedicated space to house all the baby stuff. If you end up deciding you are comfortable putting the baby in the room sooner, then you can. If not, they can stay In your room and you can move the into their room as a toddler.

TonyaCody06

bebemac said:

My concern isn't the stairs, more so the distance and increased reaction time should something happen.

I have a huge house and can dart up the stairs pretty quickly if needed- even pregnant.

arekeweg

As PPs have said it's up to each individual. My sister put all four of her kids in their cribs right away and this is what we plan to do as well. Our master is on the first floor with bedrooms upstairs or in the basement. I have no problem going up the stairs as I feel that baby being in their own room will help it adjust.

My ILs did ask if we were moving our bedroom upstairs. I said nope, if the baby is crying I'm sure we will be able to hear from our room (right at the bottom of the stairs).

lellymine

If you're still nervous having the baby far away they have incredible video baby monitors out now that give really clear image in day or night.

MaidMarion25

I unfortunately have no choice but to keep lo in our room for the first 4 months because right now we live with the in laws but we are buying our house in October, I'm not looking forward to these first 4 months

LegalLadyBug

We lived in a one bedroom apartment when we had DD. She slept in a pack n play for the first month and then in her crib in our room. We moved when she was 1 and that is when she got her own room. Everything worked fine for us.

LindsayDesigner

We kept DD in our room for two days and then moved her to her own room. We all slept better at that point.
My advice is to play it by ear and follow your instincts. We are going to have DS in his own room as soon as he is home.

ncbelle

I think they aren't necessary but we bed share for at least the first year and likely longer.  I would feel really uncomfortable having young children on a different floor from me - even now the kids sometimes need me in the night so I'd rather be right down the hall.

Most of the stuff you "need" for baby really isn't a need at all

curlylocks3

Not a mom yet, but my perspective is from knowing friends who planned to have baby sleep in their room (in a PNP) and found that no one was sleeping well in that set-up. I think having a less baby-ish nursery might be the best option for you.

lucreciac

We kept Charlie on our room about 10 weeks and then moved him to his crib. We all slept much better - the first night in his crib in his room he STTN. I will say though the video monitor was the best - it definitely made the transition easier for me. And to second what a pp said - you'll be shocked how fast you move when you think something is wrong.

Lynnja616

DS was in his own room in his own crib from day one home from the hospital. He STTN at 6 weeks old. DD was in our room with us in a bassinet out of necessity- we had a 3 bedroom at the time and had to keep one for guests (grandparents, family, friends). We had an offer in on a house but it took 5 months to close. We moved when she was 6 months old, she got her own room- and she started STTN immediately. This one will probably be in with u for the first couple of weeks just to make it easier on me, but then he/she will be moving to their own room. So sooner rather than later is my opinion.

BabyCurtiss2014

bebemac said:

My concern isn't the stairs, more so the distance and increased reaction time should something happen.

This is my concern. Not that it's hard to go up the stairs for me but that I won't hear if something is wrong. The distance is far so the only way to hear anything would be through the baby monitor. But I also feel like I do want our master to be for hubby and me And I really want to set up a cute nursery lol :-)

BabyCurtiss2014

Thank you all so much for sharing your thoughts and experience!! It is just really helpful to hear it from other moms that have been there! I think you guys are right we should set it up but buy convertible crib/regular dresser that way at least it will turn into a toddler room or if the nursery works out we can keep it for baby # 2 :-)

rmjones15

My son slept in my room for about 6 months before he slept in his room, and even then he slept in my room a lot. I had a different situation, my ex husband and I split early on so I didn't need any alone time. That said, he still isn't a great sleeper and I wish I would have tried harder to keep him in his own room early on.

flerlgirl

My sister was in this situation and waited until her DS was a little older before putting him upstairs in his room. I think he was about 6 or 7 months before he slept in his crib. But she still decorated his nursery and everything. They would play with him in there and used it to keep his clothes and toys. 

My son has a nursery; my daughter will not but we literally have no place for her except our room or she would also have one. 

crossfitkiwi

joules235 said:

FWIW my little brother slept in a walk in closet for his first few months...

I've been thinking about this... our bedroom is on the top level of our house and we have a pretty big walk in wardrobe that I've been eyeing up for LO. I don't think we would fit it out as a nursery, but I'm definitely keen to pull down the shelving and use it for the early months at least.

My main question is, would you close the wardrobe door at night with a baby sleeping in there?

justme04

I would say it is entirely personal preference. Ds1 who was a premie spent 3 or 4 months in our room because he was a premie and was hooked up to an apnea monitor for 4 months (luckily without incident). Ds2 only spent a month in our room before we moved him to the crib in the room the boys shared (because we lived in a two bedroom apartment until this year when we bought our 4 bedroom house). This LO will probably follow suit with a month in our room and then moving into the nursery (lucky kid doesn't have to room share. Lol). Now we never went all out on nursery furniture. Just a crib, a hand me down dresser and a rocking chair for night time nursing. I did have a changing table at one point but it was such a waste of space as I seriously maybe used it three times and then I would just throw the clean laundry on it to sort and put away.

fsumom

My DD is 7 and still sleeps in our bed!  She did use her crib but only for a short while and not until she was 7 months old!  However, I'm still doing a nursery but reusing DD's crib and dresser.  I do not plan this LO staying in our bed for nearly as long...lol.

xnbride

Baby will eventually need a room and I doubt that you will want to be decorating and organizing a room with a 4 month old, so that is why it is nice to do the work in advance even though it is true that baby won't actually take up residence until they are 6 months old or so.  

What you might think of doing though is actually moving your room upstairs to one of the bedrooms near the future nursery because you probably won't want to be that far away from baby when the time comes to transition him.  Otherwise baby might be in your room for the entire year+ because you won't want to leave him alone upstairs while you are downstairs.

xnbride

crossfitkiwi said:

FWIW my little brother slept in a walk in closet for his first few months...

I've been thinking about this... our bedroom is on the top level of our house and we have a pretty big walk in wardrobe that I've been eyeing up for LO. I don't think we would fit it out as a nursery, but I'm definitely keen to pull down the shelving and use it for the early months at least. My main question is, would you close the wardrobe door at night with a baby sleeping in there?

That can be a good option just make sure you have air circulating in there.

christinemurray91

Our daughter had a nursery and literally never used it. Ever. She never slept in her crib.

I breastfed her so it was easier to co-sleep. She bf'ed until she was 18m, which is when we transitioned her to her own room with her crib transitioned to a toddler bed.

So, nope. Not necessary.

k2k2tog

We have no room in our house for a nursery, so LO will sleep in a crib in our room. So, I certainly hope there's no need for a nursery! 

crossfitkiwi

xnbride said:

crossfitkiwi said:

joules235 said:

FWIW my little brother slept in a walk in closet for his first few months...

I've been thinking about this... our bedroom is on the top level of our house and we have a pretty big walk in wardrobe that I've been eyeing up for LO. I don't think we would fit it out as a nursery, but I'm definitely keen to pull down the shelving and use it for the early months at least.

My main question is, would you close the wardrobe door at night with a baby sleeping in there?

That can be a good option just make sure you have air circulating in there.



Is there any way to make sure of this? It's my only real concern about using the space, as eventually we would want to close the door. The door has a standard size gap underneath it, but obviously there are no windows or any other ventilation as it's a wardrobe.

BabyCurtiss2014

lalala8 said:

We kept DD in our room for about 3 months. I really think a year in your room sounds like a tough habit to break. You'll want to set up good sleeping habits from early on.

Don't worry about the distance in your house. You'll get to that baby fast if needed. I'm also in TX, land of the oversized houses, and I can't think of one friend's home that I wouldn't feel comfortable with separating the baby at 3-4 mos.

Just make sure you have a video monitor. We LOVED ours.

@lalala8 - which monitor do you use?

coffee-saur

I totally agree with @lellymine ! A video monitor for longer distances is awesome, and I LOVE ours!  I think it also helps that if they cry, you can check on them without going into their room and maybe waking them completely.  Sometimes they just cry out in their sleep and are not even awake, or they put in their thumb (like my DD does) and go back to sleep on their own.  

Because it is a little ways to our 'nursery' we kept DD in our room in a mini crib like bed (homemade, and really not up to specs...)  And I slept TERRIBLE.  I am convinced that she was a noisy sleeper, and I would wake at every peep she made.  So after awhile of that, I started just wheeling her lil bed just outside my door, which was into the dining room, to where I could even still see her, but not quite so close that I heard every grunt.  That worked better and we did put her upstairs in her room after awhile (sorry don't remember how much exactly) and I can get across the house and up the stairs really quick if I need to  I just usually have to sit and put my head between my knees afterwards so I don't pass out.

Also, our nursery isn't very baby-ish really.  The most baby-ish part of the room is the crib

Edit:  our video baby monitor is one of the Summer Infant ones.  Ours is old so I don't think they sell em anymore, but it has the night vision and color when the light is on.  Color, IMO, isn't really necessary.  We also bought another camera when DD was born so we had a camera in both rooms.  

BMaidPlanner

To the parents who kept baby in their own room from day 1, were you breastfeeding or getting up to feed them multiple times in the
night? Did that make it challenging? I'm intrigued by this idea but am not sure how I'd feel leaving the bedroom all night. I'd probably end up half dazed on the couch.

gregsgurl81304

We kept DS in our room, in a bassinet until he was about 4-5 months old then we moved him to his own room.  I feel that it would be important to have the baby's room set up that way you can spend time in there with LO before you move baby permently. You could change and dress LO in there, read books, or even when baby lays down for a nap he/she could sleep in the crib during the day. This may help with the transition if baby is already accustom to the surronding.  I also recommend investing in a really good baby monitor, one that you can hear clearly, and possibly have a camera so you can see baby to help ease your mind at night where LO will be so far away.

MrsCase1

I am in TX, too. WHY are the masters on the ground floor? This makes zero sense to me and no realtor has given me a good answer other than, "Heat rises so the luxury of a cool space is reserved for the owners/parents.

Anyway, when Lincoln was born our house was over 4,000 square feet, which to me is large-ish. Our bedroom was massive so we had a pack n play with a changing table on their. He didn't even use the pack n play because he had reflux. This time around our house is less than 1,800 sq ft and we are not even setting up the nursery till closer to when the baby will actually sleep in that room, so after 6 months. I don't think a nursery is vital in the beginning.

SecondTimeinMSU

I would set up something basic to give you the option. DS slept in his room from the beginning and I never used the changing table since frankly I didn't trust myself at 3am with zero sleep so I always put him on a mat on the floor so you can nix the changing table. Also maybe get a crib that is convertible so even if you don't use it in the beginning you'll end up eventually using it as a toddler bed. As for the whole theme stuff you don't have to go all out, just do something cute and basic. I've seen a lot of pretty striped or dotted rooms that works for an older child too. Or I love wall decals since they are inexpensive and easy to change out and update without painting. Even if you eventually do end up doing something like a rock n play sleeper or a co-sleeper you won't feel the like you've wasted anything on a nursery if it transitions easily into toddlerhood.

BabyCurtiss2014

BabyCurtiss2014 We used a Summer's Infant video monitor, but I wouldn't recommend it - Too much static.

A couple of my friends have the Motorola ones, and those are fantastic. We'll be getting one before this baby arrives (bonus is that you can use 2 cameras, so we can still keep an eye on DD).

Motorola 3.5-Inch Color Video Monitor

Thanks!!!!