Shower after his arrival?

mschoepp

DH and I live 1500 miles from our families. We had an online shower for our family members, but our adopted family and friends here want us to have a shower also. We were thinking about having a co-ed "meet the baby" get together after his arrival at the local bar and grill rather than a formal shower since we already technically had one. My parents are flying out to see the little man about 2 weeks after our due date, so we were thinking about having it while they are in town so they can meet all of our friends.  In lieu of gifts we were thinking of asking for diapers and wipes. Will this work? Has anyone done anything like this? What should I expect? 

RibbitGrl930

Multiple showers for the first baby are fine so long as there is no overlap in the guestlist (exception being grandparents). It is not okay, however, to dictate what gifts should be given. Let your guests give what they want.

Sam Buttons

A meet the baby party is not a gift giving event, hense why it can be given by the parents. A gift giving event (I.e. a shower) cannot be held by the parents for obvious etiquette reasons.

AKA gifts should not be assumed, therefore you should not dictate what gifts people give you at your non gift giving event -- not that you should ever dictate what people can give.

I think the meet the baby party is a splendid idea if it's just that. And sure, people will bring gifts if they want to, but it shouldn't be a requirement. You could even have a second shower with your local family, if someone offers.

Cranang

A "meet the baby party" is fine. But if you're throwing it yourself, you shouldn't be asking for gifts at all, let alone dictating what they should bring. Good grief...really?

Cranang

MrsLee04 said:

mschoepp said:

In lieu of gifts we were thinking of asking for diapers and wipes. 

Explain how diapers and wipes aren't gifts?

I can't believe I didn't pick up on this. My bump hiatus took a toll on my ability to spot bullsh!t.

dufferoo

This has to be mud. What the heck is an online shower?

mschoepp

Thanks for everyone being so helpful and kind. I am trying to navigate this completely blind and was hoping for some helpful advice seeing as I have no one out here family-wise. 

RibbitGrl930

Yikes...I missed that the PTB would be throwing the event. I thought she was implying that her adopted family and friends were going to throw it. I hate that it looks like I'm advocating her throwing her own shower.

OP, the other ladies are correct- it is fine to throw a Meet the Baby party if you like, but there should be absolutely NO mention of gifts, especially a directive on what they should give you.

And, OP, if you are planning to hold the party at a bar and grille, please tell me you were planning on paying for everybody's meal....

jf198400

As PP's have said do not tell guests what to give you. If my friend was having a baby party I would enjoy picking out a cute outfit or something for the baby. Being asked for diapers is like I might as well hand you some cash, not fun at all.

I just wanted to mention that first babies are often late, so I would not plan anything for 2weeks after your due date. Honestly I was not up for being at any large gathering of people until at least 3 weeks after baby was born, and I was more than a week late.

Helenahhandbasket

I think a meet the baby party is a good idea, but if you are hosting the gathering, don't ask for anything.

Most people will bring you a little something.  Exchange/ re-gift/ donate whatever you don't want.