Justifications for/against Team Green?

1A

We found out with both our boys. This time I want to not, but dh wants to. He won't discuss names until we know.

I am also getting a rcs so everything is scheduled so there is no surprise of labor for me. It would be cool to not find out right now.

SecondTimeinMSU

Part of me kinda was thinking team green this time just for that exciting moment in the delivery room but as DH pointed out it will still be just an exciting on the ultrasound day. Really it is practical boring reasons. I want to be able to drag out my storage totes of clothes and organize what I will be re-using while I am in full nesting mode and still feeling motivation. Plus picking a name is like pulling hairs with DH so only having to pick one and not two will be half as much work. Finally this is going to be our last child so I think part of me would be sad that we aren't really going to ever have either that little boy or little girl that we came up with a name for. Not that I want a third child but there are reasons to be excited either way so I'd rather be able to focus on those and get DS excited about either a little brother or little sister rather that being excited for both when I am only going to be having one or the other *knocks on wood*.

GolfWidow001

With our first, I wanted to find out, DH didn't. We found out. . My reasoning was, while knowing you're having a baby isn't a "surprise", it's still a little surprise when they get here. You have no idea what they're going to look like, so the surprise for me, was seeing whose coloring/features she had. (DH and I are completely different, brown hair/darker complexion, blonde hair/fair complexion).
Something someone told me that I agreed with, just like if you're buying a new car....you pick out the color, so you know when you pick it up what color it will be, but it's exciting regardless because it's new. Weird analogy, but it makes sense. If you know the gender of your baby ahead of time, does that mean that the day he/she comes will be any less exciting?
Just my opinion. To me, it's still a surprise because you really don't know anything about this little person until they're here. Knowing ahead that it's a boy or girl, doesn't make the event any less special/exciting. You just know what kind of clothing you can buy.

lucreciac

whoberry said:

@katekat8721 Yes I know what you mean re IF.  We recently found out the sex of one of our miscarriages accidentally.  It was written down on a medical record I got a copy of.  It was a small shock because I wasn't expecting that information but it didn't upset me too badly.  The baby had Trisomy 15 so it never would have lived.  It is a little easier to think of it as an "it" than a she or he.

While I like the ideas that people have suggested about getting the tech to write it down for us, I am pretty sure DH won't go for that either.  If DH really wants to find out then I will just go with his decision.  It will still be exciting!  I just want to make sure we've both thought through all the reasons we should or shouldn't find out before we get in there.

@whoberry - I'm sorry for your loss.

We were team green with Charlie simply because we wanted the surprise. No other reason. We loved the idea of having the dr say "it's a boy! or girl!" when he or she came out. Seriously no ulterior motive. I'm a planner, but any gear we got was going to be neutral anyway because I didn't want a pink or blue stroller - and we didn't bother buying any clothes because we knew we would get a ton once the baby was born.

With this one we would be tempted to find out, but aren't because there have been so many complications. Along the lines of what @whoberry said - not to be morbid, but G-d forbid something does happen, I just feel it would be harder knowing it was a boy or a girl. Not that it wouldn't be hard anyway, but to us it's just a small way of trying to get by. We're so nervous around everything that is going on, it's almost like a small line of defense. I know that sounds awful and I feel terrible even writing it, but it's true.

clee2009

I was on Team Green at first and then I read this blog post...

https://www.jennifromtheblog.com/2013/03/my-real-thoughts-on-being-team-green.html

Like the blogger I already have a boy and a girl but her reaction to waiting and finding out for #3 really made me think about my decision. We know #3 is our last and so I think it will be best in the long run for me to mentally prepare before giving birth.

Also, my Grandma (whom I love dearly) reminded me it is a surprise whenever you find out. She is a smart woman because I hadn't really thought of it that way until she said it

TonyaCody06

We will be team green this time. It's about the only way I'll be "surprised" with a 4th girl (which I want by the way).

We found out with the other 3 at the anatomy scans and to tell the truth there wasn't much thrill in the sono tech saying those words.

I'm a super big planner but you can still plan team green. You an still pick names, know about circumcision decision in advance, pick a paint color that works both ways etc.

You will love the baby no matter what it comes out as. In my mind, I've already bonded to the baby being a girl. I worry about bonding if it turns out boy but I know that won't be the case once the baby is actually here. I'll love it with all my heart.

DH just laughed at me when I 1st said team green at the beginning. He's totally on board now though and he will be the one keeping me strong through that sonogram in 2 weeks!

GL!

margaritachikita

For us, DH really wanted to find out, but I wanted it to be a surprise, and I won after the fact, he was SO happy we waited. He loved being the first one to know/announce the gender, and being able to call our families and say "It's a girl!!!" I know its a little old fashioned but he really was happy about it in the end. We will be team green for this one as well. Maybe if you remind DH that he would have the "special job" of announcing the gender he might be more open to it. GL i know its a frustrating argument to have.

flerlgirl

I haven't read all the words but if he can keep a secret, why don't you have the tech write it down and he can look at it and you don't have to. A win-win! 

But for the actual question - I am a planner. Like one day they will make a movie about how I finally snapped and now live deep in the forest, planning out my activities for the next 100 years. So I really wanted to know boy or girl and I love being able to paint the nursery, buy little dresses, etc. But my Team Green friends love the surprise and say that there are too few surprises in life to waste such a great one! I honestly think people are happy either way. Good luck!

FutureMrsW9

amoot890 said:

Mrs Case said:

Well, you could always have them write it down and decide later. Once you know, you can never un-know!

I desperately want to be Team Green. My husband is adamantly against it. I begged last night to not know, but he won't budge. I told him with our last baby (God willing) I will NOT be knowing and neither will he. I was strong-armed into knowing the last time, too. People get really worked up about knowing even when it is not their baby. 

My personal feelings aside, I can see it more from your perspective, that after all you've been through, this is the one spontaneous surprise you get. 

Bolded part - yeah.. I don't want to tell others what we're having until at least the shower. That apparently is a very unpopular decision. Too bad it isn't their baby and therefore isn't their decision.

Yup, this exactly.  It really irks people (especially MILs HAHAHA!), and frankly it's kinda an added bonus if you ask me! haha.  Obviously I'm team green.  I personally don't see the point in finding out.  You're going to find out either way, and I agree with you on the IF stuff...I always wanted to know prior to IVF, but now that we went through all that my mind completely changed.  There's no surprise when you're TTC with IF, everything is scheduled a planned.  This is one thing that you have a choice to leave up to being a surprise, so why not!  Plus, I want it to be DH who announced to me "It's a boy/girl!" at the birth.  From the handful of people I know who were team green, every single one of them said that that moment made it all worth it because it was so special.

Also, can I just tell you that my MIL said to us over the holidays "Well Jackie and Chris (DH's sister and BIL) told you that Chase was a boy and his name before he was born."  That was their choice to not leave anything a surprise!  I think my response was something about wanting to keep it a surprise or something PC and nice.  I wanted to say something really snarky because I despise when people reveal the name of their baby before the birth.  The sex is one thing since almost everyone finds out now, but c'mon keep SOMETHING a surprise!

FutureMrsW9

TomW&JennD said:

Some of these posts have me thinking. For some reason I really feel like I'm having a boy. I had no idea last time. I see the point that maybe we should find out. If we are having another girl I need to adjust my thinking. I won't be unhappy at all (giving DD a sister so close it age would be great), but it will be a different set of visions for the future. Food for though. Thanks guys.

This is the ONLY thing that may sway my decision right now.  I have a very strong feeling that I'm having a girl, I even tend to go toward girl things in stores and look at the cute girly clothes.  I'm just worried that I'll bond with baby as a girl and then baby will come out a boy and I'll be taken off guard.  I don't have a preference either way, and just want my take home baby, but it could be something to consider if you're having a strong feeling one way or another.  Like I said, I'm team green, but if my girl feelings continue to eat at me I might end up finding out or have the tech right it down in an envelope that way it's up to us to decide if we open it later on or not.

MamaTree17

FutureMrsW9 said:

TomW&JennD said:

Some of these posts have me thinking. For some reason I really feel like I'm having a boy. I had no idea last time. I see the point that maybe we should find out. If we are having another girl I need to adjust my thinking. I won't be unhappy at all (giving DD a sister so close it age would be great), but it will be a different set of visions for the future. Food for though. Thanks guys.

This is the ONLY thing that may sway my decision right now.  I have a very strong feeling that I'm having a girl, I even tend to go toward girl things in stores and look at the cute girly clothes.  I'm just worried that I'll bond with baby as a girl and then baby will come out a boy and I'll be taken off guard.  I don't have a preference either way, and just want my take home baby, but it could be something to consider if you're having a strong feeling one way or another.  Like I said, I'm team green, but if my girl feelings continue to eat at me I might end up finding out or have the tech right it down in an envelope that way it's up to us to decide if we open it later on or not.

This reasoning actually has me 80% swayed to find out this time around tho we were planning on being Team Green again. With #1 it was such a fun surprise and I honestly had no real urge to find out before birth. This time I can't help but picture another girl and I question if I would have a hard time connecting, initially, if I had a boy and just found out when he was born. We still have 4 weeks until our scan but I have my husband on board to at least have the tech write it down so we have the option to find out later. He has only been imagining another girl too so relates to my reasoning. It's an interesting point!

Edit: I wrote about every other word for some reason.