Justifications for/against Team Green?

whoberry

We have two weeks to our anatomy scan.  I want to be Team Green but DH is leaning towards finding out. I need help coming to an agreement with him. His justification is that he wants to be able to "imagine going on adventures" with our child. I think that means it would be a good bonding thing for him.  I think finding out in advance does make things seem more real, but I'm a FTM so I have no idea. 

I am the impatient one who is a planner, yet I still want to be Team Green.  I always thought I would want to know, but after dealing with 3 years of infertility and miscarriages to get here I have changed my mind.  At first I thought it would be better to not know the gender in case we lost the baby, but DH and I agree it would be really sad whether we knew or not. 

With infertility treatments we timed and planned everything to make this baby happen, I think it would be fun to have a surprise at the end. We have no clue if we will be able to have another child so this may be our only chance to go Team Green. DH points out that it will be a surprise whether we find out now or later. I also think it might add some nice motivation to the labor process, but DH thinks that having a baby will be motivation enough.

Aside from picking more names and deciding about circumcision, sex doesn't really seem to matter that much when they are babies.  LO's room is already a gender neutral green and we don't really care about getting gender specific clothes and gear.

If DH finds out I wouldn't be able to handle him keeping it a secret from me.  I want us to be on the same page at our anatomy scan. So what do you all think? What are some good reasons for or against Team Green that I haven't thought about yet?

MrsCase1

Well, you could always have them write it down and decide later. Once you know, you can never un-know!

I desperately want to be Team Green. My husband is adamantly against it. I begged last night to not know, but he won't budge. I told him with our last baby (God willing) I will NOT be knowing and neither will he. I was strong-armed into knowing the last time, too. People get really worked up about knowing even when it is not their baby. 

My personal feelings aside, I can see it more from your perspective, that after all you've been through, this is the one spontaneous surprise you get. 

kjohnson1002

I heard this idea years ago and knew I wanted to do it, so maybe you could do something like this.

At our anatomy scan, my mom will get the envelope that tells us what the baby is.  She then plans the shower and I find out at my shower.  So I am team green for a good portion of it, but the last few months I know and can prepare accordingly.  

Just a thought.

MaidMarion25

I see both sides, a surprise would be nice for you, me personally I have to know what we are having because I am so impatient!

Mztwilson

I guess to me I have to know. I'm also a planner. I love getting great deals on clearance items. So for me knowing the gender makes it easier to get great deals on clothing ect. Gender neutral cloths are great but for some reason every time I see a baby in gender neutral I just assume it's a boy. I wanted to also be team green but the closer I get to finding out the faster I am changing my mind . It's defiantly a personal choice whether you want to know or you want the surprise. At first I wanted the surprise but I'm an impatient person. I think waiting till labor would only make those last few weeks that much longer.

Luna C

Personally, I just really don't understand waiting to find out. It seems pointless to me. 

If you find out, it makes it easier to pick names, easier to pick clothes, and I think makes it easier to bond (esp. for the dads who don't have the same kind of experience we do.)

As for "motivation in the labor process" ... I don't even know what that means. Do you think you'll be reluctant to push? Because you won't. 

dragonfly711

We were the same as you. I wanted to wait and hubby wanted to find out.

If I let hubby know he would mess with me for the next 5 months.

We had our materni21 blood work done and when the Dr called I just said it was ok to tell me.

I thought I would be upset about knowig but it actually feels good. Hubby has even been saying her name. Can't describe it but now I am glad we found out.

We also surprised our parents on Xmas eve so that was fun and now planning will be so much easier. I am not into pink anyway but just knowing how to plan does make it a bit more fun.

I am almost 40. Always thought I would find out at delivery.

I would not take back knowing. I am glad we found out.

ElTrain5

I think they'll be more than enough surprises on delivery day. Blonde? Bald? Dark brown mop? Dad's nose? Huge or tiny? I could go on, but for us finding out the sex was just another exciting thing to find out. And guess what? It was a surprise at 16 weeks just as if it would have been a surprise at birth. At what point in the journey we were "surprised" didn't really matter to us so we found out.

JNerd

We were team green with DS and it was fantastic. I am very type A and a huge planner and was able to survive just fine. When getting any gear it was easier to focus on the practicality/safety of it instead of how cute it was.
It was so much fun and easier to focus on what baby actually needs than blue/pink as everyone seems to do once they find out.

This time around we are torn between team green and finding out, partially because want to know how much of DS's stuff to keep, but at the same time know that we are set for the first few months either way.

whoberry

Luna C said:

Personally, I just really don't understand waiting to find out. It seems pointless to me. 

If you find out, it makes it easier to pick names, easier to pick clothes, and I think makes it easier to bond (esp. for the dads who don't have the same kind of experience we do.)

As for "motivation in the labor process" ... I don't even know what that means. Do you think you'll be reluctant to push? Because you won't. 

I guess just that it would be another exciting thing to look forward to.  But from everything I'm reading about labor I don't know that I be thinking about much other than pain.

whoberry

ElTrain5 said:

I think they'll be more than enough surprises on delivery day. Blonde? Bald? Dark brown mop? Dad's nose? Huge or tiny? I could go on, but for us finding out the sex was just another exciting thing to find out. And guess what? It was a surprise at 16 weeks just as if it would have been a surprise at birth. At what point in the journey we were "surprised" didn't really matter to us so we found out.

This is pretty much what DH thinks too and I definitely see his point. 

katekat8721

Oh whoberry, I can understand this. After years of planning and worrying about everything it's really nice to be able to just enjoy the moment and have that wonderful surprise at the very end. In a way it's like taking back your pregnancy from IF. It's also a way to protect your heart a little bit in case anything were to go wrong... that way if something happens it happened to "the baby" and not "Johnny" or "June".

It's hard because you guys are on such opposite sides and both of you have very valid feelings. This isn't really something that you can meet on the middle on, since it will be hard for you both knowing that DH knows and you don't.

I know the a/s scan is in two weeks, but even still you don't have to find out right that moment. You can always have the tech write down the sex in an envelope and open it at a later date if you want. If you want it to be more special maybe you guys could save it for if you go on a babymoon weekend or something. That way you can be in control of when you get your surprise, and hubby will then be able to bond with his son or daughter.

As for us, we're luckily on the same page as far as this (but baby names are a different story. The man threw out the name Trask. WTF?! *shudders*)

I am a person who relies on positive visualization to motivate me and get me through tough times. When we were going through IVF I listened to Circle+Bloom every night because I liked to visualize what my body was doing and what was happening. It's part of being in control of uncontrollable situations I think. It just helps calm me. For me, I need to be able to see them and "know" them.  I'm also the person who will have their names picked out in the womb for the same reason.

I think you're going to get a wide spectrum of opinions on this. But you and hubby have to do what works for you guys. I wouldn't worry about the a/s deadline, you can take all the time you need by having the u/s tech write it down for you.

Good luck sweets! xo

whoberry

@katekat8721 Yes I know what you mean re IF.  We recently found out the sex of one of our miscarriages accidentally.  It was written down on a medical record I got a copy of.  It was a small shock because I wasn't expecting that information but it didn't upset me too badly.  The baby had Trisomy 15 so it never would have lived.  It is a little easier to think of it as an "it" than a she or he.

While I like the ideas that people have suggested about getting the tech to write it down for us, I am pretty sure DH won't go for that either.  If DH really wants to find out then I will just go with his decision.  It will still be exciting!  I just want to make sure we've both thought through all the reasons we should or shouldn't find out before we get in there.

EmbracingChange

I'm too impatient for that. DD wouldn't show us until 30 weeks and it was driving me crazy. 

I'm 15 weeks right now. I have a healthy baby, that much I am grateful for. But around 6 weeks along I found out we were having a baby and at 38\39 weeks I will be induced. I have no symptoms, I'm a chubb's so I have no bump, I won't get a baby shower, and I have difficulty feeling movement. What do I have to look forward to in the months between January and June? For me, that's the sex reveal. Once we find out what we're having we for sure pick a name, address the baby by it's name, and start to plan. To DH, it becomes real. Right now it's just a tiny being demanding brownies and Mac n cheese. 

katekat8721

whoberry said:

@katekat8721 Yes I know what you mean re IF.  We recently found out the sex of one of our miscarriages accidentally.  It was written down on a medical record I got a copy of.  It was a small shock because I wasn't expecting that information but it didn't upset me too badly.  The baby had Trisomy 15 so it never would have lived.  It is a little easier to think of it as an "it" than a she or he.

While I like the ideas that people have suggested about getting the tech to write it down for us, I am pretty sure DH won't go for that either.  If DH really wants to find out then I will just go with his decision.  It will still be exciting!  I just want to make sure we've both thought through all the reasons we should or shouldn't find out before we get in there.

I think I remember you posting that on PAIF or IF before! Ugh that's awful, I'm sorry. I'm glad now you have your little rainbow

Yeah, my hubby wouldn't go for that either though it's a nice idea haha. I think you'd have to weigh the feelings. Do you really not care to know but hubby really, reeeally wants to know? In that case, it may be easier to go with what he wants to do rather than fight an uphill battle. It will still be surprising and exciting either way! It's just good to get all the pros and cons now though, like someone said you can't "un-know" these things!

curlylocks3

I always thought I'd want to find out- I thought I'd need to know it to bond, I'd need to plan the nursery and name in advance, that I'd somehow have a preference or expectation and would be caught off-guard if it were wrong.

Now that we are here, I don't want to know. I feel like there have been so few genuinely awesome surprises in this that I want that. I want H to be the one that tells me and people may disagree with it, but I jokingly say I need some extra motivation to push the second kid out I work with new parents all the time and I have yet to meet one that wasn't absolutely thrilled with their decision to be Team Green.

Initially H really wanted to find out but after hearing my reasons he got on board wth Team Green, and while we've gotten some blowback from people who don't understand the decision he seems to become more set in it the longer it gets.

Personally, I think it makes it easier to be Team Green when planning the nursery. The room was already yellow, we picked brown-grey furniture and teal fabric for the curtains and bedding. We are picking swaddle blankets and onesies and everything that can be used interchangeably for each twin even if they are boy/girl. The only thing that knowing would make easier was picking names but we still have time.

Good luck, whatever you decide. And sorry for the novel

iris427

I found out with my first, and then did TG with the second. Personally, I preferred finding out at the anatomy scan. I liked being able to shop for the baby (gender neutral clothes can be hard to find and aren't as fun to me as little dresses or bowties). I found it easier to picture the baby in my imagination when I knew what we were having, it was easier figuring out a name, etc. And it was still a big surprise finding out at 20 weeks--in some way it was better because at birth there is so much else going on. That is just my preference though.

austinlyns

No big, deep, philosophical answer here, but I always find out because I feel like crap during pregnancy and it seems to drag on forever. I need that fun surprise to look forward to halfway through the pregnancy!

arekeweg

DH wanted to find out initially and I have always been for Team Green. I asked DH one night why he wanted to find out and his only reason was so people could buy things for the baby if they wanted to. I thought this was a horrible reason! People can still buy things, just not pink or blue. So anyway, we are Team Green.

Everyone we've told that we're not finding out have been reay excited for us. They've said things like, "Everyone finds out now. So happy you've decided not to. It's so much more fun!"

Not sure any of this helped you though!

coffee-saur

I had a friend the her DH found out and she remained in the dark.  The Dr put it in an envelope and the H looked but she didn't.  She mainly didn't wanna know before her shower, but I still don't think she knew before their son was born... How in the world that worked I have no idea...  I asked her once if he leaned more one way or the other with clothes or anything and she said not really... I can't imagine...

missesBAD

We were Team Green with DD and loved it. It was special for DH because he got to announce the sex at birth. That was his special moment. They bonded immediately. Maybe you can get him on board by giving him that special job? I think with everything you have been through physically and emotionally, you should get to decide

MrsRahl

I'm team green because I feel like there are very few surprises in life.  Yes, you'll be suprised when you find out, but I don't think that compares to that magical moment when the baby first comes out and they say, "It's a...!"  We all in my family are team green, so it's a big exciting family gathering in the waiting room or waiting together at home, cousins, aunts, uncles... to get the exciting news of "It's a...!"  

Also, one other thing to add is people often argue that they don't want all gender neutral clothes, but my rebuttal to that is all our team green family showers, they received WAY more stuff that they actually needed, verses mounds of pink or blue clothes.  I have friends who were not team green and they ended up needing to buy way more things that they needed because people went berserk over clothes, and her twins couldn't even wear all of them (or even each outfit more than once) and they grew out of them and were a waste.  I know "stuff" isn't the main motivating factor here, but it is a more practical approach as to why be team green. 

Here's a link to an article of 10 reasons to be team green  https://mommycribnotes.com/2012/11/sex-of-baby/

MrsAMB07

(Ugh, sorry so long!)

I've said this on here a bunch of times, but since you're asking for our opinions on it, I'll tell you my experience.  We've done it both ways, found out w/ #1 and were Team green with #2. I don't know if it being the second had an effect on our experience, like whatever you do the first time was so amazing (either way) that you get attached to that experience or not. But that being said, we much preferred knowing and will find out this time.

I agree with your DH that there's no greater motivation to push, in that moment, than to have the baby OUT. Not knowing won't motivate you any extra and knowing won't give you any less motivation to push that baby out. We thought being team green would be awesome since everyone hypes up "that moment" of hearing it's a boy or girl in the delivery room. I was expecting something so magical... and it really wasn't. It was such a whirlwind of emotions just wanting to get the baby out, and then being relieved when it was over, that I barely even set myself up for anticipating the announcement itself. I was so drained and exhausted. I was THRILLED to have a girl, so there wasn't a let down, but it honestly was no better than when we knew... so amazing either way. Knowing doesn't make it anti-climatic at all, so that comment always bugs me. 

We actually felt it "upped' the anticipation of waiting to get to meet our specific "Owen" and getting to see his face, as opposed to just a "baby" that was so unknown to us. We went through more of an adjustment with DD, where we felt like she was a stranger to us, more than he was. Maybe it was because we had a boy for three years, and had to adjust to the idea that we now had a girl... I don't know, but it was different for sure. We felt more bonded to him instantly and we felt like we had to get to know her a bit, at first.

The biggest dislike I had, though, was even though we knew there was only one baby, we couldn't help but spend nine months getting attached to the idea of having another little boy, while also getting attached to the idea of having a girl... so again, even though we were leaning toward hoping for a girl, we couldn't help feeling like we were missing our boy... as crazy as that sounds. I'm sure it would've been the other way around if we had had a son, we would've missed the idea of the daughter that we didn't have.  I don't know how else to describe it, but it kind of messed with our heads initially.

In the end, we have no hesitation in not being team green this time. I know that for us, finding out was a lot better. We have friends and family who have been surprised and loved that experience... but again, they never compared it to finding out. I know some who were team green the first time, found out the second, and went back to being team green... so it really depends on you. It's a surprise whether you find out at 20 weeks or 40, really. 

hollyfp

We're not finding out beforehand.  I like the suspense aspect.  It is what it is and life is pretty much the same for a while regardless of sex, so I don't really see a convincing advantage. We are picking out 2 names... NBD.  I am excited at the thoughts for either, I will keep that alive for a few more months.

I have never heard of a reason for waiting to be motivation for pushing but that is pretty ridiculous!

iris427

MrsAMB07 said:

(Ugh, sorry so long!)

I've said this on here a bunch of times, but since you're asking for our opinions on it, I'll tell you my experience.  We've done it both ways, found out w/ #1 and were Team green with #2. I don't know if it being the second had an effect on our experience, like whatever you do the first time was so amazing (either way) that you get attached to that experience or not. But that being said, we much preferred knowing and will find out this time.

I agree with your DH that there's no greater motivation to push, in that moment, than to have the baby OUT. Not knowing won't motivate you any extra and knowing won't give you any less motivation to push that baby out. We thought being team green would be awesome since everyone hypes up "that moment" of hearing it's a boy or girl in the delivery room. I was expecting something so magical... and it really wasn't. It was such a whirlwind of emotions just wanting to get the baby out, and then being relieved when it was over, that I barely even set myself up for anticipating the announcement itself. I was so drained and exhausted. I was THRILLED to have a girl, so there wasn't a let down, but it honestly was no better than when we knew... so amazing either way. Knowing doesn't make it anti-climatic at all, so that comment always bugs me. 

We actually felt it "upped' the anticipation of waiting to get to meet our specific "Owen" and getting to see his face, as opposed to just a "baby" that was so unknown to us. We went through more of an adjustment with DD, where we felt like she was a stranger to us, more than he was. Maybe it was because we had a boy for three years, and had to adjust to the idea that we now had a girl... I don't know, but it was different for sure. We felt more bonded to him instantly and we felt like we had to get to know her a bit, at first.

The biggest dislike I had, though, was even though we knew there was only one baby, we couldn't help but spend nine months getting attached to the idea of having another little boy, while also getting attached to the idea of having a girl... so again, even though we were leaning toward hoping for a girl, we couldn't help feeling like we were missing our boy... as crazy as that sounds. I'm sure it would've been the other way around if we had had a son, we would've missed the idea of the daughter that we didn't have.  I don't know how else to describe it, but it kind of messed with our heads initially.

In the end, we have no hesitation in not being team green this time. I know that for us, finding out was a lot better. We have friends and family who have been surprised and loved that experience... but again, they never compared it to finding out. I know some who were team green the first time, found out the second, and went back to being team green... so it really depends on you. It's a surprise whether you find out at 20 weeks or 40, really. 

I kind of had a similar experience too.  I loved the idea of having two little girls, and I liked our girl name a lot.  We had a hard time agreeing on a boy name and never came around to anything I loved.  So when #2 was born a boy, I was kind of bummed for a few days about not getting to use the girl name I loved, and not having another daughter.  Even though of course we loved our son.  That may sound silly, but I think it would have been easier if we found out at 20 weeks and then you can get over any gender disappointment over things like names, not having your kids be two sisters/brothers, etc., instead of having it after the birth when you are trying to bond with your new baby.  Again, just my experience, but we will be finding out this time too.

curlylocks3

hollyfp said:

We're not finding out beforehand.  I like the suspense aspect.  It is what it is and life is pretty much the same for a while regardless of sex, so I don't really see a convincing advantage. We are picking out 2 names... NBD.  I am excited at the thoughts for either, I will keep that alive for a few more months.

I have never heard of a reason for waiting to be motivation for pushing but that is pretty ridiculous!

Really? So when I've pushed out one kid and I need to labor down with the second and am lying there thinking "how the F am I going to do that again?" you don't think it will help me to know I have another surprise to look forward to for potentially another hour or something? 

hollyfp

hollyfp said:

We're not finding out beforehand.  I like the suspense aspect.  It is what it is and life is pretty much the same for a while regardless of sex, so I don't really see a convincing advantage. We are picking out 2 names... NBD.  I am excited at the thoughts for either, I will keep that alive for a few more months.

I have never heard of a reason for waiting to be motivation for pushing but that is pretty ridiculous!

Really? So when I've pushed out one kid and I need to labor down with the second and am lying there thinking "how the F am I going to do that again?" you don't think it will help me to know I have another surprise to look forward to for potentially another hour or something? 

I didn't mean it as an attack, if you had said that.  For me that was just not one of my thoughts/ reasons behind being green.  I don't think if I found out the sex that there would be less motivation at delivery time, is what I mean.  I can see what you're saying

curlylocks3

@HollyFP- not quoting because it looks like the quoting is all screwed up. I didn't think it was an attack, but just because it might not be motivation for one person doesn't mean it won't be for the next.

Luna C

MrsAMB07 said:

The biggest dislike I had, though, was even though we knew there was only one baby, we couldn't help but spend nine months getting attached to the idea of having another little boy, while also getting attached to the idea of having a girl... so again, even though we were leaning toward hoping for a girl, we couldn't help feeling like we were missing our boy... as crazy as that sounds. I'm sure it would've been the other way around if we had had a son, we would've missed the idea of the daughter that we didn't have.  I don't know how else to describe it, but it kind of messed with our heads initially.

This makes perfect sense to me actually. We're both convinced it's a boy, but we don't know yet (scan isn't for another month) and he's already said he's going to be a little sad to say goodbye to the girl that was in his head. And if it's a girl, he's going to be sad that the little boy we're expecting isn't happening yet. Either one will be very much wanted, but it's still bittersweet to know you can't have the other...

I think that's an excellent point in favor of finding out sooner so you can wrap your head around reality earlier on and not in the whirlwind of having just given birth. 

whoberry

@MrsRahl That was a cute list- also I love the gif in your siggy!!!

@MrsAMB07 Thanks!  You brought up a lot of interesting points I hadn't thought of before.

mikenjess113

ElTrain5 said:

I think they'll be more than enough surprises on delivery day. Blonde? Bald? Dark brown mop? Dad's nose? Huge or tiny? I could go on, but for us finding out the sex was just another exciting thing to find out. And guess what? It was a surprise at 16 weeks just as if it would have been a surprise at birth. At what point in the journey we were "surprised" didn't really matter to us so we found out.

This exactly! You can be surprised at 20 weeks or 40 weeks, it's still a surprise. There is a ton of excitement meeting your baby anyway.

Cherylwang

I have a boy and a girl. I found out with both of them at 20 weeks. This time I had to find out (girl) I need to know who is sharing a room. Do I save my boy stuff or girl stuff. Does my sis in law give me her girl stuff or donate it. I would be so unprepared if I didn't know. Also, when you are pregnant you always have a feeling of what the baby is. What if your feeling is wrong and you were thinking boy the whole time and then it's a girl. Even though you wouldn't be disappointed you may feel like you lost something you never had. Just my opinion. I like to know pick out a name and get clothes together. The end of the season sales for when my new baby will be here. Etc. I think you are surprised either way. In the middle or at the end.

lifeisbetteronthered

We were team green last time. Though I had wanted to find out, DH didn't, and in the end I was really happy with the decision. DH didn't get to tell me what we had because in the chaos of her needing to be resuscitated no one looked until I asked after a minute or two. Nevertheless, he got to announce to family and friends, an I do think that the gifts we got we much more practical. Te clothes can be used by this baby, no matter the gender. As soon as she was born, all the gifts became pink.

On the other hand. We had a loss a couple of years ago and it still bugs me to this day that I don't know if it was a boy or a girl. I hate saying "it". A while after, because it bothered me so much, I told DH tht because I had felt it was a girl, I'm going to start refering to it as her. It felt better to me.

I don't know what we will do this time.

chloephoebecali

Ds was a surprise and we LOVED it. We found out for our first and for our latest because we felt it would make for a fun surprise on Christmas. (No one knew we would be finding out.) if we weren't going to be able to find out before Christmas, we were going to be team green because it was really fun. Everyone was so anxious to find out when I was in labor with my green. Honestly, I was so focused on pushing him out that when I saw his "boy parts" I was reminded that I did not know he would be a boy. I actually forgot in the craziness of pushing him out and his shoulder getting stuck. I didn't care to put together a whole room before he was here and I didn't need anything (had hand me down clothes and some new stuff in case of boy). With my first, I HAD to plan everything. I was into doing the room and the whole thing. It was different. I felt like I just went through all that planning and wasn't up for it again, and knew it was unnecessary. It's totally personal.

chaysefaith

We wanted to find out, and in hindsight it's a good thing we did. We both had our hearts set on having a boy and we were both slightly disappointed in finding out we are going to be having ANOTHER girl. We needed some time to accept that and fall in love with that idea. The disappointment faded quickly, by the end of the day that we found out we were both excited for our little girl, but I would much rather deal with that disappointment now rather than when we are welcoming our newborn baby.

JNerd

SNLT1012 said:

We wanted to find out, and in hindsight it's a good thing we did. We both had our hearts set on having a boy and we were both slightly disappointed in finding out we are going to be having ANOTHER girl. We needed some time to accept that and fall in love with that idea. The disappointment faded quickly, by the end of the day that we found out we were both excited for our little girl, but I would much rather deal with that disappointment now rather than when we are welcoming our newborn baby.

This is part of my current argument to hubby. The plan has always been two kids, two years apart, boy first girl second. What we care about is a healthy baby, but I think I want to know so I can adjust my mental plans.

Plus, we have a boys name picked out, but are still back and forth on a girls name. Finding out would help us focus our efforts.

The nursery I want to do is quite girly as well, so if LO is a boy I need to redesign it.

lifeisbetteronthered

Some of these posts have me thinking.

For some reason I really feel like I'm having a boy. I had no idea last time. I see the point that maybe we should find out. If we are having another girl I need to adjust my thinking. I won't be unhappy at all (giving DD a sister so close it age would be great), but it will be a different set of visions for the future.

Food for though. Thanks guys.

fsumom

We found out with DD and with this one too (boy).  I entertained with DH for a brief moment about not finding out but it just seemed pointless to me.  We like that we only have to have one name chosen and that we can call him by his name.  We don't feel like we need an extra 'surprise' at birth. Having a healthy baby boy will be all we need.  Plus, I like that I can start shopping for boy clothing.  I am not a fan of neutral clothing!

amwangel

I had enough motivation with pushing (it HURT LIKE HELL), so that's not why I'd wait. But I am considering it because a girl is so favored by our boy-heavy family. I don't want people to be disappointed ahead of time! 

I am reading all of this with interest since we're trying to decide, too! We found out with our son (he was a big surprise, so we needed to prepare mentally) and are considering it because of my 2 recent miscarriages - I've had a hard time connecting with this pregnancy. I loved finding out at 20 weeks - made it it's own event.

diagonalley

I think the only way I'd be willing to try team green was if I already had one of both.  Having already found out, it is so nice to refer to our baby as him, or by the name that we like right now, Max.  I talk to him and picture him growing up in the house that we just bought that we're working on fixing up.  I enjoy that aspect of knowing.  Kudos to anyone who is able to wait the whole time!

cristykaye

This is my first and I want to know. That's really my only argument! I don't mind not finding out on a second or third or however many we have but for this one I felt like I needed to know!!!