PPD - I'm a mess

tts432462

My PPD is at all time worse. I've been to the doctor. I'm on medication, but I feel like I'm in a hole that I can't climb out of. I live in a city where I have no friends. My DH works 12 - 15 hrs 6 and 7 days a week. I have wonderful in laws, but they're busy with they're own life. LO has a cold, is teething and going through sleep regression. I go back to work on Thursday after being on maternity leave for 4 months and I have no idea how I'm going to manage everything.

I love my DH and LO more than anything in the world and I feel like PPD is completely robbing me of my life. I'm not the wife or mother I want to be right now. I just don't know how to fix it.

I don't really have a question. I just feel really alone and don't know where to turn.

emmaleigh05

Keep looking forward. This is a very challenging time for you but when you get to the end of it (and it will end, trust me) you'll be a better and stronger mama. Hugs!

Kebert618

So sorry that you're going through this! Feeling alone with a DH gone a lot and not knowing many people is HARD without PPD. Do your in-laws and husband know you're struggling this bad right now? Does your employer know you have PPD? Not sure what you do for work but I'm sure your boss would keep it confidential and be very supportive. I think the more support you have, the better. Hugs, and T&P to you!
Just remember you're doing a great job!!!

tts432462

Thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot to me.

@Kebert618 they do know. And they are trying really hard to help me. I feel so sad for my husband. As a man and as a husband he feels like he needs to fix me and he can't so he feels like he's failing me. It's also a stressful and busy time for our business so I feel like I'm kind of a burden on top of that for him.

I'm going to contact a therapist tomorrow in hopes of getting some more help. This just isn't the person I want to be. I used to be a happy, funny fun person. Now I feel like I walk around with this big heavy wet blanket of sadness on me that I can't get rid of.

magdalina.h

I would call your dr on Thursday (or ASAP if you're thinking of hurting yourself, family or leaving) and maybe have the medication adjusted. I'm sorry

BlondieBia21

I'm so sorry that you're going through a rough time. It's been rough here as well so please know you are not alone in that sense. I'm always a message away!

TeacherMom210

Everybody above gave really good advice. Thoughts and prayers to you. It will get better.

MommyBolty

::hugs:: so sorry you are feeling this way! Sending lots of thoughts and prayers yiur way!! Hope you feel better soon. Take care of yourself mama.

LJUTCMommy

I'm sorry you're going through this. I agree that speaking to a therapist is a great idea. Also, dare I say, returning to work may make things easier for you.

I actually felt a lot better when I went back to work it returned to me a sense of normalcy and self. My life is still very different, but I like having some things that have stayed the same. 

Additionally, if possible, maybe you could try to find a Mom group or PPD support group in your area? 

youtubebeauties

Trust in that you're doing the best you can; you're only one woman & can only do so much. Sounds like your DH is supportive -- that right there will be a huge plus in your treatment plan. Connecting with the right therapist that specializes in PPD issues will also work wonders. 

You're absolutely not alone & several other mommies are going through the same thing.  Kudos to you for reaching out!!

Hang in there.  It will get better & feel free to PM me if you'd like.  Keep us posted on your progress.

Revez

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've been there, it isn't easy I know. Being honest with yourself and others about how you feel is so important.

Getting help from a therapist is a great idea. Don't be afraid to seek support else where if you feel it might be right for you whether it be medications, a mom group, friends and family.

Feel free to pm me if need someone to talk to. Hang in there.

PB102012

I am so sorry you're going through this. Hugs, thoughts, and prayers coming your way.

ashleyamberRN

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Agreeing with @LJUTCmommy going back to work may actually help. I didn't have ppd but I definitely had the baby blues and going to work at first was so hard and it still kinda sucks but it does give me a chance to miss baby and really enjoy the time I have with her more. DH's help is so key for me. Is there anyway your husband could cut back his hours, doesn't seem like he's able to be home much?

BellaOso

I'm so sorry.

Everyone is giving great suggestions, but just my 2 cents - not all medications work well for all people. Make sure you talk to the prescribing doctor about still having an extremely hard time. Your dosage may need to be adjusted or you may need a different med all together.

I'm so glad you are getting help.

Thoughts and prayers are with you!

tdmklm

It will pass, mama. It WILL. Hang in there and find the support you need so you can get back to being yourself faster. Hugs and prayers coming your way.

kwhite27

So sorry you are struggling with this. I hope you find a good balance soon!

tts432462

Thank you everyone. Thank you for your advice, and thoughts and prayers and for making me feel less alone. It means a lot.

Khaleesi07

T&P's and hoping you feel better ASAP. I have no friends or family where I live either,and my SO works 6 days a week so it was a rough beginning for me as well. It might be you just need to try a different medication...if you can find a support group that might help to at least take the edge off. I managed to find one just for breastfeeding, and even that helped to lift my spirits. Hang in there mama!

nittanygirl28

Lots of hugs your way. It's not easy and I'm so glad you're seeking help. You'll get through it but it may take time and help. Try to remember that you're not alone. Someone told me that when you're having a rough time remind yourself everything with children is a phase...and each phase will pass plus you are a dedicated mommy doing the best she can. That helps me sometimes. Give yourself some credit and whenever possible accept help, love and attention from your DH. Sorry I don't have stronger words of wisdom. The ladies above have great advice. We're here to listen if you need to let it out.

shootthemoon

Sorry to hear you're going thru this. I'm experiencing something similar, definitely pm me if you want to talk to someone. Mom groups are great. I've joined 5 of them since LO was born. See what kind of support the hospital you delivered at has for new moms. Remembe to take care of yourself too, even if it means getting pizza at the mall food court while walking LO in the stroller just to get them to sleep

BubblyDevil

I was in your position a month ago. I know it seems like it will never ever get better, but it will.

Take it one day at a time, and if that's too much, then one hour at a time.

There really are better days ahead. You will get there.

PrimRoseMama

I'm sorry you are going through this. Big hugs.

TurtleMomma

I empathize with what you are going through. PM me if you want to chat

sfeebs13

KatieS7 said:

I hurt for you because I've been there. Talking about it, putting all your cards out on the table is a great place to start. Glad to hear you are going to talk to a therapist. I did and it helped a lot. I found that getting out of the house and doing some form of exercise also helped a ton. Be easy on yourself, I promise you will start to feel better soon. Many T&Ps.

I feel you mama. We are all here for you. Make sure you're seeking help.

starshower22

(((hugs))) Sending T&P your way. It's great that you have a supportive H and sounds like your job wants the best for you too. And of course your LO thinks your the best!! Be sure to take care of you, getting your feelings out and seeking help are wonderful steps that you're taking. Stay strong momma!

WashingtonQueen

Sending you big hugs! It's really tough and I really hope you can find a solution.

Rowcate

I am sorry this is happening. There's been a lot of awesome advice. Just hang in there and know you are not alone. Sending t&p's your way.

coraggiosa

I know how you feel, and I'm struggling just as much as you. Hang in there. Feel free to PM if you want to talk. It can really help to just talk about how you are feeling. Hugs. 

Coconuthead

Hang in there mamma! Hugs.

Millie1984

I am so sorry that you are going through this.  You will get through this.  Thoughts and prayers.

rissa06

Sending hugs ur way.

I'm not on here a lot. Trying to get my stuff together. I have ppd as well and have my first appointment on Wed. I'm trying to get work to work with me on my maternity leave , but currently I'm scheduled to return full time on Monday. My husband works a lot of hours and I have the three kids most of the time. I don't have a lot of friends who live near me and my closest friend doesn't have any kids.

It has been hard. I have some
Good days and bad days and the. Some really bad days, but I just take it day by day. If u need someone to talk, pls pm me.

tts432462

I didn't mean to post and run. I said this before, but all of your kind words mean so much to me. LO slept like a champ last night so I got some good rest. My DH also surprised me by taking the day off today. We spent the day as a family just hanging out and I got to cook us a really nice meal. I have several prayers that I'm repeating over and over to myself and for today I feel a little stronger. I go back to work tomorrow and I'm sure that is going to be brutal. I will be repeating those prayers a lot. I will also be re-reading your encouraging words a lot. Again, thank you all for taking time out to help me. It is greatly appreciated.