questioning my faith

aschultz9

I am having my 3rd mc right now. The 2nd since september and I am pissed because this is it. It was the last shot at this and there is no more trying. Anyway, I am an active practicing Catholic and these experiences have me questioning my faith which also pisses me off.
I hear and see people constantly sending "prayers" to those in trouble. Then I hear about those "prayers" working for those who have a good outcome.
I have never prayed so much in my life the last few months. Both times I have seen a heartbeat and then have seen it stop. So do prayers not work for me?
Sigh..I really cannot understand the greater meaning in the repeated overwhelming grief I feel. I am trying to trust but this experience(s) are making me angry and negative and in turn guilty. Maybe because there is no more baby for us so I have to figure out what's next.

kikimeemee

I am so sorry for your losses.  I've been through one so far, and my first thought was, "God...I don't even know what to pray about right now but I am praying..."  A healthy baby didn't magically appear after my prayers (obviously), so my friend said to pray for comfort b/c it's what I needed/still need.   It is not a surprise that you are questioning your faith and the power of prayer because you have been through a traumatic experience 3 times.     Don't forget that God is someone who came to earth to be human among us and He is a feeling God.  When His people mourned or were sad, He first kneeled beside them and cried with them.  He didn't preach his words until after he took a moment to feel with his people.  When we hurt, He hurts with us.  Prayers don't always give us answers that we want; but we often wish they would.  It's okay to tell God you are angry at Him and need some answers.  Stay with Him and see what He shows you.   I can fully understand praying for a healthy pregnancy; I wish for the same, and fear it will not come, too.

 

This Bible verse helps me when I'm in doubt:   

Jeremiah 29:11

¹¹ For I know the plans^A)'> I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper^'> you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

 

Again, you have ever right to be sad and disappointed.  I am so sorry for the situation you have been through.  ::hugs::

squeakyfrog15

I am so sorry for your losses! I have been through two this year myself. I love what was said above. It's okay to be angry, it's okay to be sad. Tell Him that. God wants us to come to Him with our pain and joy. With prayer we don't always get what we prayed for, sometimes it's yes, sometimes no, and other times not yet. Though you said this is your last chance, maybe God has a different plan for you? Maybe to foster or adopt. I know it's way to soon to think about that, but sometimes a little hope for something can be the thing that cracks the hurt even the tiniest bit. I pray you find peace and that God wraps you in His mighty hands! Good luck to you in whatever you decide! Again I'm so sorry for your losses!

Campow83

kikimeemee said:

I am so sorry for your losses.  I've been through one so far, and my first thought was, "God...I don't even know what to pray about right now but I am praying..."  A healthy baby didn't magically appear after my prayers (obviously), so my friend said to pray for comfort b/c it's what I needed/still need.   It is not a surprise that you are questioning your faith and the power of prayer because you have been through a traumatic experience 3 times.     Don't forget that God is someone who came to earth to be human among us and he was a feeling God.  When His people mourned or were sad, he first kneeled besides them and cried with them.  He didn't preach his words until after he took a moment to feel with his people.  When we hurt, He hurts with us.  Prayers don't always give us answers that we want; but we often wish they would.  It's okay to tell God you are angry at Him and need some answers.  Stay with Him and see what He shows you.   I can fully understand praying for a healthy pregnancy; I wish for the same, and fear it will not come, too.

 

This Bible verse helps me when I'm in doubt:   

Jeremiah 29:11

¹¹ For I know the plans^A)'> I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper^'> you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

 

Again, you
have ever right to be sad and disappointed.  I am so sorry for the situation you have been through.  ::hugs::

This entire paragraph is beautiful and exactly what I would say! We do not know why this us happening to us but he has a plan for us all, though might be different than our vision. When I had my loss, I just prayed for comfort and healing. It is normal to tremble in your faith. Stay strong and just pray your little heart out!!!!

Poisonives

The priest at my bedside told me that God lost His son too and Mary witnessed the death of her son. Not to compare our griefs, but they too, understand what you've been going through.

It's okay to question your faith. God usually doesn't answer directly. You'll know the answer in time. And He is always there for you.

Im very sorry for your loss.

SoxFan777

I found the book When Bad Things Happen to Good People very helpful. The author paints a picture of a God who suffers with us and is saddened with us and stands by us, but who is NOT in control of everything. Controversial, a bit, but really helpful to me. I'm sorry for your loss.

JessicaG220

I know exactly what you mean. We lost our daughter in April 2013 and we finally felt ready to try again and we conceived in October. I prayed SO hard every, single day that the pregnancy would result in a healthy, living baby. I miscarried at 9 weeks in November. It feels like praying is pointless. You are not alone in your feelings. I am so sorry for your losses and I wish you comfort and peace. Lots of hugs.

kikimeemee

Bless you, @KateNavin.

 

And thank you for sharing your story with those of us hurting.  I am so sorry for the loss of your little son.  You are mighty and strong and so selfish for being on here to help the rest of us!!