Co-ed Baby shower or no?

KristenAdam2011

So I've always grown up as "one of the guys" and I work in a male-dominated profession, so I've always said that I would have a co-ed baby shower. (Afterall, they are becoming more and more popular.) But a friend of mine and his wife just had a co-ed baby shower and the general consensus from the guys was something to the affect of "we are going cuz we have to, but we hate the idea of co-ed baby showers". I don't want them to go to mine just because they have to, but I want to have friends at my shower and not just family. I'm so torn, any words of wisdom? I'm almost 22 weeks. 

Mrodriguez898

All baby showers I have been too the women stayed inside and the men hung out together outside (weather permitting of course) or off to themselves somewhere in the house. Invite them anyway.

dufferoo

Yeah, ii will definitely depend on what the host has in mind, but even if she likes the idea of co-ed, I would imagine it would probably be tough for the guys to actually get excited about going. If that seems kinda lame, you must have some female friends, right? If not, there's nothing wrong with having just family.

KristenAdam2011

The host asked me which one I want. It doesn't matter to her.

PrimRoseMama

I would consult your host. You should not be hosting the shower yourself.

Truthfully, I don't know many men who would enjoy the traditional baby shower. They just don't care about baby crap.

Maybe forgo the traditional shower? Ask your host what they are comfortable with. If they want to host the traditional shower you may consider tailoring your guest list to reflect those that would enjoy it.

You can always host a Meet The Baby BBQ. It's not a gift giving event & is less focused on oohing & aweing the loot & more about hanging out with your buds. Have burgers & beer. That might be more your social circle's comfort level.

Again, I have attended co-ed showers & the guys seemed like it was kind of boring/torture.

theseaword

I sort of had one. I didn't want a shower at all for #1, but this was the first grandchild so MiL really wanted to host one. I told her I would be ok with it if DH was also a guest of honor, since it was his family/his baby too/it would take some of the attention off me. They ended up inviting just family and very close friends, including DH's brothers and best ( male) friend. It was honestly just like a normal family party and folks had fun. We did open gifts, but since it wasn't a large group it didn't take very long. No stupid games. Everyone just socialized, ate, and drank wine and beer.
So, Tl;dr: it can work, but I recommend more of a laid back, party atmosphere and a limited guest list.

SingleMom31

I agree with the PPs... My DH wouldn't have enjoyed my shower (I think his sentiment at the time was, "Nobody in the history of manhood has wanted to go to a shower"), and I don't think most of my guy friends would have either. If you're going with a mixed group, I think you need to do a normal party where you just happen to be getting baby gifts, kwim?

Luna C

In my family we tend to do co-ed showers, and they're much more like just a family reunion with a theme of congratulating the parents to be. I MUCH prefer them to the more traditional ones. That said, the ones I have been to have been just family, so I don't know if the dynamic is different when its a "friends" shower, so to speak.

EastCoastBride

If you know these guys dont' want to go, then don't invite them.  I understand wanting your friends there, but if you're FORCING them to be there... is it really the same? 

I don't see what's wrong w/ a family shower.

FemShep

I've never met a guy who honestly enjoyed a baby shower. If they want to celebrate your pregnancy, they'll do so without being invited to a shower and feeling obligated to attend (and dreading it).

Disneygeek77

FemShep said:

I've never met a guy who honestly enjoyed a baby shower. If they want to celebrate your pregnancy, they'll do so without being invited to a shower and feeling obligated to attend (and dreading it).

Right.  My husband has been to two showers and told me never again.They weren't bad and he of course was polite and smiled the whole time, but he simply didn't enjoy himself.  

cchild101010

I have a friend that's been to 2 co-ed showers and she says the women tend to leave earlier because their husbands/boyfriends get bored. I have another friend that just went to a "co-ed" shower at a golf course and all the men golfed while the women did the shower which I thought was super cool.

MGP

Disneygeek77 said:

FemShep said:

I've never met a guy who honestly enjoyed a baby shower. If they want to celebrate your pregnancy, they'll do so without being invited to a shower and feeling obligated to attend (and dreading it).

Right.  My husband has been to two showers and told me never again.They weren't bad and he of course was polite and smiled the whole time, but he simply didn't enjoy himself.  

Personally I can't stand coed showers and luckily it's not something that is common amongst my family and friends. The ONLY way I see it enjoyable for everyone is if it's a group of couples that normally hang out anyways. Otherwise it turns into the "Chris Rock grown man play date" bit. Google it, you will see what I mean.

ArgyleBride

I just wanted to throw out my experience, which is that in my group of friends, which is about 60-40 male-female, plenty of the guys did indeed want to go to our mutual friend's shower and enjoyed it.  Sure, I think fewer men than women like showers, but this no-man-ever consensus is just not my experience.  My closest local friends are guys and were I to have a shower anytime soon, it would likely be co-ed specifically to include them--one was one of my attendants when I married, he'd definitely want to come.  You know your friends. Go with your gut.  

ETA: I just asked my husband, and he said he'd enjoy going to a friend's shower.  Different strokes.

KristenAdam2011

cchild101010 said:

I have a friend that's been to 2 co-ed showers and she says the women tend to leave earlier because their husbands/boyfriends get bored. I have another friend that just went to a "co-ed" shower at a golf course and all the men golfed while the women did the shower which I thought was super cool.

I love the idea of having it at a golf course and having the guys golf while the girls showered! Its genius!!! Then my guy friends are included without being miserable! Now...I just need to figure out if all of them golf or not and talk to the host to see if it's feasible (since golf course venues can be quite expensive). Great thing to look into tho, thanks!

Srhbthp

We are having a couples shower. Although 7 of my best friends are throwing it together so that will help keeping the cost down for them since it will end up being quite a guest list. This is the only shower we are having besides a family "girls only" shower. My husband has been to many with me and as long as there is beer and food the men usually have a fine time socializing and hanging out.

RibbitGrl930

All of our showers were co-ed, and it wasn't weird at all. There were no uncomfortable games or crafts. Just hanging out, eating, and opening presents. That was just the nature of the groups throwing them.

Honestly, if your male friends have expressed displeasure at attending baby showers, i would not invite them. Even issuing an invitation and "leaving it up to them" puts them in the position of accepting just because they feel they have to. If a male friend (or group of friends) expresses genuine disappointed at not being invited, discuss the possibility of adding them with your hostess.

111emd

If everything progresses normally, we're going to have a co-ed baby shower. Our good friends had one that was a big bbq. The men and women sort of naturally separated inside and outside. The men bbq'd and drank beer outside while we did all the baby shower festivities inside. Then we all hung out together for dinner. It was really fun and the men all seemed to have a great time. 

Blassit16

I am having a co-ed shower mainly because I want my bf to have a good time and be comfortable. My theme is also superhero so it is very guy friendly. The games we are playing will be gender neutral as well and there will also be a guy only game. My family loves to throw parties and we are really good at it as well,  so I am pretty sure all of our guy friends will be in for a treat if they are thinking this is a typical baby shower.

BeesKnees181

My guest list includes men and women.  I figure if they don't want to come, then they won't.  Also, my finace will be making an appearance since many of the people attending are his friend's wives.  Traditional is just that.  It is your shower and tailor it to fit what you and your hostess have in mind.