Choosing Name

LoverOfCities

Those that have kids and named 'em (or those that are pregnant and have picked).. how in the world did you choose? How did you even come up with possible choices? We are sort of a blank slate. I know lots of people who have said "I've liked xxx name for ages, and my husband liked it too so we used that.." but I don't have a name like that.  I have a TON I like. And my husband is just kind of "you make a list, and I'll cross off the absolute no's and we'll narrow it down from there".

So I got this brilliant idea of going to babynamer.com and going through the letters... jotting down possibilities.  I'm on the A's, right? I have 14 boys down and 9 girls.  This isn't gonna work. By the time I get to Z, I'll have 200 names on my list. 

It appears my issue is I like too many names. And I can actually see myself using all of them. Nothing is hitting me more than others.

Did it just pop out at you? How did you choose?   It's a good thing I have over 30 more weeks. I'll need them all.

MelCfromMN

For me, I knew I wanted my kids to have more traditional or classic names. My husband and I are not trendy/modern, so this made the most sense to us. I didn't want the most popular name, but was ok being somewhat popular (although my girl name is in the top 5, so we may have to rethink that one should it ever be an issue). I tended to lean towards biblical names too. Maybe you want to honor someone in your family? We didn't have that in mind when we named our little one, but that is important to some people. We used his middle name to keep on with my husband's family tradition of the middle name being DH's first name. Then try sounding out names with your last name, we have an Italian last name that sounded really funny with quite a few names, or if you have a long last name, maybe pick a shorter first name, or the opposite, so it's not too much of a mouthful for a two-year-old to say (because he is so cute when he tells people his name :-)). Also, try using it in the professional sense,  "Dr. Andrew Lastname" sounds/looks better to me than "Dr. Bentleigh Lastname".  We also had to cross off a lot of names that were associated with people we didn't like or exes.

My husband is a restaurant manager and had a hard time with this, I would say a name, he would have a server from 5 years ago that had that name that he hated or whatever, so it would get crossed off, that type of thing...Good luck, it's a daunting task, and it's permenant, you don't want to have naming remorse, so put some thought into it. But you'll know once the baby is here, they kind of grow into their names and you can't picture them as any other name.

LoverOfCities

Interesting to read how you all did it

We aren't going to use a family name, so no to that one.

And popularity doesn't bother me a ton. I actually tend to like a lot of the popular names. BUT, I like some more uncommon names too.  Not keen on weird spellings. 

I want a feminine girl name if we have one, and a more masculine boy name.

There isn't just ONE name that I've always loved, that's my issue.  I love a LOT of names.  Girls in particular- it'll be much harder if we have a girl as there are a BUNCH I have always loved.  I can sit here and give you a list of at least 20 girl names that I would LOVE to use (and I surely won't have 20 girls, ha!).  So I just don't know how to narrow that down.

H seems to think we can narrow the list and wait until baby is born, see his/her face and then BOOM, it will just come to us and we'll name him/her then.  But my issue is narrowing the list to a 'respectable' amount for the birth.  I feel like it's a daunting task picking a name our kid will be stuck with forever.  Fun, but daunting.

diamondduck13

If anything I had the opposite problem, I dislike too many names. I too
often find an association I don't like and I have too many rules, per se, that restrict what I like (for ex, I don't like alliteration or rhyming or otherwise matching with family members or within the full name)

We started with the family tree and did consider a few other ideas but ended up staying within the tree. I know that's not what you want, but that's our story of what worked for us.

sunnyday016

Naming DD was easy. We decided before our anatomy scan that if it was a girl she would be Sophia and we would call her Sophie. A boy would have been Liam. We got a girl and started calling her Sophie then. It just seemed right, even before we met her.

For DS, we named him after he was born. We found out we were having a boy and had about 5 names for the rest of the pregnancy. We had narrowed it to about 3 about a week before he was born and then when we saw him DH said, "I think he's an Ethan, isn't he?" And I agreed! 

I can't picture either one of them with other names, but I'm sure I'd feel that way had we chosen other names. DH and I have similar styles- traditional, yet common/popular. So coming up with a list we agreed on wasn't too hard.

Skeemer

DS2 is Jude Mason. In 2011 Mason wasn't as popular as it is now but it was on the rise which bothered us some but since it's a middle name it didn't bother us in a huge way. I am not a trendy name person so I'm glad it's his middle name.

Jude was *thisclose* to being named Jackson until I realize that I couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting someone's kid named Jackson. I live in the South so the whole Jackson, Ms has really appealed to a lot of people. I talked DH down off the Jackson ledge & we started from scratch. It was hard because he was super attached to the name. We had picked it out when we were engaged & we knew no one named Jackson.

We knew we wanted a J name to honor DH but we didn't want a Jr. I really liked the name Jude & pitched it to DH who also liked it. My dad's middle name is Judson & Jude's godmother's name is Judith so he is named after them also in an untraditional way. The meaning of Jude's name "praise" in Hebrew was very important to us as we are Christian believers.

We chose Mason as a way to name DS2 after DH who is Jason. It's similar but not the same. I'm personally not a fan of Juniors or "Little" being tagged to the front of a child's name. DH didn't want to pass Jason to our child simply because it can be tough to work with if used as a middle name.

We absolutely had no girl name picked out. Lol.

ETA: I had liked the name Mason when I was 15 & a cousin's cousin named her son Mason. I'd never heard of it before then. Such a great name.

LoverOfCities

Idani said:

Since you have time, maybe you could also narrow it with a list and then take your top 5 and for one week refer to your baby by that name and see how it feels.  My friends did this and it changed their mind on a couple of names once they started using it.  They did take 3 names to the hospital though and decided officially the day after she was born.  

I like this idea.  I'm not even 9 weeks, so I have plenty of time.  I'm over thinking things way too early, but I often do. 

I know many people don't care for popular names, but that's what we often lean towards. So I think maybe I'll go to the top 100 names of each sex and narrow it down that way.  I have a feeling whatever we choose and love will be in the top 100, so that's probably the way I should attempt to pick some.

emmy236

Our baby names were all after family members. DS is Reed Alden after my father and uncle. If he had been a girl she would of been Johanna Kate after my grandmother and DH's sister. Since I got my names DH has the pick for boy number two. He's set on the middle name of Robert. For a first name he's much more about his Irish heritage so it's looking like Sullivan and Kiernan. Pick a few styles and then throw a few names. If he likes more of one group over the other than at least you'll have a starting point. If you make a big list that is all over the place, he may veto some names you really like. If you focus on one kind than you're more likely not to be disappointed and come to a conclusion faster. My DH likes older names, last names as first names and Irish names so I try to keep my suggestions to these.

SidraJedi

We knew DD's name since the day after we found out. It was a name that we both heard and said that we loved in passing years before DD was conceived. DH suggested it as soon as I asked and I immediately agreed. DD kind of named herself it was so easy.

I've had boys names picked out since high school. I told DH that he was in charge of the girls names as long as our oldest daughter's MN was the one I had dreamed about since I first heard it about 14 years ago (it is).

Spin313

Our son was very simple. DH has the same first name as his dad and grandfather, but didn't want to use it. I was pretty relieved actually and agreed to pick from a short list of other family names. Then I picked a family name from my side for the middle name. Easy peasy.

DD was a pain to name. DH hated everything I liked. He finally said he wanted a longer name that could be shortened, so I made a list and there was really only one name he could live with and we went with it. I am very happy with DD's name, but it was just very frustrating.

EmbracingChange

I had Laynie's first name picked out since I was 16(had her at 21). My foster mothers name was Marie Elaine and I wanted to honor her, but I'm not into old fashioned names so I chose Laine. My mother in law couldn't spell it so I went with what I thought it sounded like. Her mn was going to be Miranda after a childhood friend, but DH said it was harsh sounding so we looked through a book, Claire was something we both liked. 

DH's family goes like this... His sister was named after his mom's favorite singer... Her name is Stevie Nicole(nicks), DH was named after his father's first gun... Colt(45) Justin, and his brother is named after his father's first knife... Case Ryan...

So we find out we're having a boy. DH is in Iraq and I mail him a list of 50 names I love including Corbin, Cullen, and Brecken. He vetoes all except Ryan, but wants to name him Dexter. I veto that one. He calls one day and says he wants to name his son Ryan after his brother and Wesson after his first gun. I tell him I'll think about it... My mother tells me that I named the girl and he should be able to have final say for the boy. I say it aloud for a week or two then consent. 

EmbracingChange

With this one I had a dream that we had a girl and I called her Devin. That was my brothers name, he passed in 2008. I never even considered it in 2009 when Ryan was born, but it feels right...

One night we were watching Pawn Stars and I was going over naming websites and I told DH that I like last names as first names like Collins and (points at tv) Harrison. DH told me he loved Harrison. The next day I threw out a name and he said "I thought we decided on Harrison last night?" Yep, we sure did. 

allardr

I was with you, no names I liked for ages. My husband is also similar to yours which I actually like working that way. I take so much time looking online and such and he just gets a list. Though sometimes he'll throw a name out there too that I love.

Babynamer and lots of sites like that have so many names and many are made-up/very uncommon IMO. I prefer BehindtheName top 1000 list. I literally pasted the list into word then went through and deleted all I wouldn't use. Then I went back through and found similar names: Lily/Lillian and decided which I liked better of those similar pairings. Now this still kept quite a few. At this point I went to DH to see where he was. He nixed a lot but it left us with roughly 20 names that we then played with for FN & MN combos.

It's a starting place if that's what you're looking for. Sometimes too I just look up names at night come up with a quick list from that night's searches and before bed I read them to DH to see if any can go on the "ok" list. 

ThereBeDragons

Naming was a process for us. We've had a long time to consider. We started off throwing names we liked off the top of our heads at each other. The other person would respond with some variation of let's put that on the list, eh it's okay, not my favorite, or yuck no no no. Then respond with a different name, a nickname for the other name if it was well liked, or maybe even "That's better than (other name on list) lets knock (other name) off. This would go on through dinner or playing a board game- some limited time activity. And then get shelved for a few days so we could think about it more.

Doing that we nailed down 10-20 favorites but they were pretty boring. So we went to a baby name book and sat down together and verbalized any favorites we saw on the page. Same deal- yes no maybe- and keep going.

The thing about liking hundreds of names is that you've only really got brain power to really consider a handful at a time. So favorites tend to start popping back up over and over after you've been working at it for a few weeks. For us for boys we kept circling back to William, Christopher, and a handful of Old Testament names that changed on a fairly regular basis. That helped clarify our style (classic, tradition, multi-syllable, with multiple good nicknames) and from there we only had to wait to find out the sex to make a firm decision.

For girls a clear favorite popped up within a few days. We both love a ton of girl names (we could name an entire sorority with the girl names we love) but one was just better. More meaningful to us, the best nicknames, easy to pronounce/spell, and it felt like a name a baby could really make her own as she grew up. So baby is going to be Elisabeth. And it was an easy choice. Now we just have to sort through hundreds of favorites to find her the perfect middle name.

this decaf life

I spent so much time trying to find "the perfect" name and as soon as I let go of that we found a name we both really loved. We don't do family names so our list was too big in the beginning! 

LoverOfCities

allardr said:

I was with you, no names I liked for ages. My husband is also similar to yours which I actually like working that way. I take so much time looking online and such and he just gets a list. Though sometimes he'll throw a name out there too that I love.

Babynamer and lots of sites like that have so many names and many are made-up/very uncommon IMO. I prefer BehindtheName top 1000 list. I literally pasted the list into word then went through and deleted all I wouldn't use. Then I went back through and found similar names: Lily/Lillian and decided which I liked better of those similar pairings. Now this still kept quite a few. At this point I went to DH to see where he was. He nixed a lot but it left us with roughly 20 names that we then played with for FN & MN combos.

It's a starting place if that's what you're looking for. Sometimes too I just look up names at night come up with a quick list from that night's searches and before bed I read them to DH to see if any can go on the "ok" list. 

This is exactly how I'm going to do it I was struggling to find the starting place. And since we tend to prefer more "popular" type of names (not necessarily trendy, but popular) that will help me narrow it down quite a bit and I can look at a "top" list.  Then H says he'll go through it and cross off the no's.  He's not super good about throwing suggestions out.  He wants to LOVE the name, but doesn't seem to have his own ideas on any, so that part is more up to me (which is totally fine).  And we'll narrow from there.

So fun to read how you all did it, thanks for sharing with me!  And I'll definitely stick around

CruiseGirl28

Before TTC, DH and I would always have a name that we liked for awhile and then change our minds. We have a name we like right now, which we are naming our DD, so I hope we don't change our mind after she is born. I think once there is an actual baby with the name though, we will love it.

Anyway, I read through a lot of posts on here. I had heard the name Isla before, but I never really thought about it. I read it on here one day, and it just sort of clicked. I had to say it many times over the past few months for it to click for DH. He always liked it, but he was unsure if it was "the one."

LilyGracesMommy

This time around is proving to be more difficult. With DD I used initials from my deceased aunt "L" and then chose Grace from my Grandma Gertrude and DDs hebrew name is Hanna which means grace, and the H in Hanna is for my other grandma Harriet.

DS was James for my DHs Papa James, this was easy as I've always loved the name James and my DHs Papa was a man loved by all. His MN Michael is my DHs MN.

This time around there is only one deceased relative to name for, my DHs grandma Helen... H's are hard for me... we are having a ton of issues trying to find names and I have become a frequent poster on this board recently...  

Naming a human being is hard.

Soon2BMrsN

What we did when PG with our first baby was wait until after the anatomy scan. I had a lot of the same fears you did, OP, and it was much less daunting when we knew we only needed to worry about boy names. Good luck!

aprilbaby2014

Lol, I feel like I'm replying to myself ...

So about two months or so ago I was in the same predicament . We liked SO many names . We were at around 200 ... So day by day I posted names on here and people put in their opinions and suggestions that I never thought about . Then, I came across the name Elizaveta & I fell in love. None of the other names mattered anymore . So, although I agree with your DH, I also believe that when you come across the right name it will jump out at you .

KatieKim0815

We had names we liked and then thought about the feeling we wanted them to have. Did we want it modern or traditional? For example. 

Our boys are Hudson and Ethan. We wanted names that are cute on little boys but strong and sort of aristocratic on men. Names like Mason, Lucas or Xander for example didn't coordinate with the 'feeling' we wanted!

WashingtonQueen

I honestly don't think having 200 names on your list is a bad thing. Make your list and then wait a week and come back to it. Go over your list and think harder about each one, you will find some to cross off. Present your list to your husband and have him cross off, then have yourself go back over it again. You have plenty of time to be able to do this. The more you go over the names, the more you will think twice about some and the more others will pop out at you.

theimpossibleastronaut

We each made a list, and vetoed names off each other's lists. We thought about how names sounded with our last name and if there were conflicts with initials.

However, once we knew we were having a girl, we knew what her name was going to be because it was the only one we both liked.

MusicFanatic

Fun to read these! I'm not pregnant (TTC) but I have a feeling the H and I will have a similar issue. I think we both love many, many names.  I don't think it's necessarily an issue, though.  I think the naming process is probably a lot harder when you like no names and think nothing sounds absolutely perfect.  It's hard to find something that is then.  

But even just thinking of picking a name that a little person has to live with forever and ever sounds like a lot of pressure.