Intro w/ a question...ADHD & ODD

michelle04us

Today my 7yo was diagnosed with both ADHD and ODD. I was expecting the ADHD Dx but wasn't sure about the ODD. He has always been a hyperactive child with tendencies of inatentiveness but within the last year or so his aggressive behavior has intensified by ten-fold. There was an incident of him threatening a child to cut his throat with a knife on the bus, putting his hands around a little girls neck like he was going to choke her and being overly rough with his little brothers. All 3 of these incidents he said was because they did something to him and they deserved it. 

We are in the process of getting an appt. with a psychiatrist at Children's Hospital for both the ODD and the fact that he has been having suicidal thoughts. 3 times in 3 weeks he came to me and said he wanted to kill himself because no one liked him and the world was cruel to him. Because of this his pedi is unsure of putting him on stimulants for his ADHD. He said we could and just watch him for signs of intensity with the thoughts and also put him on anti-depressants to help with it or we could wait till he see the psychiatrist and then put him on the meds. 

I guess what my question is what would you ladies do? The other problem I'm having with the decision is that his father(who I'm not with any longer) does NOT want him on meds. He says that my son is just a normal kid and there is nothing wrong. So I know if I put him on medication that his father will not have him take it when he is with him. Another is that there is a wait list at Children's to see the psychiatrist. It could be a good 3-4 months before he is seen. His behavior at school is worsening by the day and they have said if it gets worse that suspension could be the next step. I'm just not sure if putting him on the meds and then just watching for suicidal signs is what I should do while we wait to be seen. Really unsure of what to do at this point.

funchicken

Honestly, I think this sounds like an emergency situation. If you can't get in to see a psychiatrist within a few days you should seriously consider the ER. You can't wait 3-4 months, and I don't think a pediatrician is equipped to handle this. I'm sorry--I hope you can get your DS some help soon.

Brewtowngrl

I spent an entire week on the phone calling every clinic I could find because I was really worried my 5 year old would harm his 3 year old brother.  I ended up paying out of pocket for a few months so that he could get in with a doc quickly.  Worth every penny.I put it on a credit card.  I hate debt, but I am glad I did.  

We thought DS had ODD and maybe he does, but the mix of ADHD meds and prozac had been a life changer.  His impulse control was 0 before meds and now he does so well.  It is so important to have a professional that handles behavioral and emotional issues to monitor.  I was calling all the time at first because it is another roller coaster for both of you to find the right medication.  Your child is old enough that you can talk to him about the diagnosis and have him help with treatment.  We got DS a bunch of books to hep us since he is so young.  Amazon has a bunch that are geared towards kids.  

Get your ex to come to appointments.  DH was on board with helping DS, but he really needed to be there to understand what was going on.  When we first discussed seeing a professional I talked to the pedi and she had the best thing to say.  Medication is not to change your child, but to help your child be the best they can be.  We are at the point that DS says he doesn't like how he acts without meds and will remind us if don't give it first thing in  the morning.  

Princess_Lily

(((Hugs)))

I'm sorry I don't have much to contribute to this, since DS is only 4yo with ADHD and defiance issues. However, I would also suggest reaching out to CHADD (ADHD support organization) to find out what can help your DS emotionally and educationally.

michelle04us

Thanks ladies. After I posted this I went to Children's website and requested an appt. They called me first thing this morning. After questioning me about his symptoms and everything else that has been going on they said they will have the psych dept. call me back asap to set up an appt. because of the suicide ideation. So I will be taking him there for the Psych eval and taking him to a local counselor he saw about 9 months ago when the threat about the throat cutting happened. 

Depending on how the psych eval goes I will start him on medication to help get him under control some so he can start learning how to control it himself without them. If they suggest not to do meds then I will follow whatever they suggest that will be in the best interest of DS. 

I am glad I found this board as I'm sure I'm going to need the support now and in the coming months. 

kcisthebombdotcom

michelle04us said:

Thanks ladies. After I posted this I went to Children's website and requested an appt. They called me first thing this morning. After questioning me about his symptoms and everything else that has been going on they said they will have the psych dept. call me back asap to set up an appt. because of the suicide ideation. So I will be taking him there for the Psych eval and taking him to a local counselor he saw about 9 months ago when the threat about the throat cutting happened. 

Depending on how the psych eval goes I will start him on medication to help get him under control some so he can start learning how to control it himself without them. If they suggest not to do meds then I will follow whatever they suggest that will be in the best interest of DS. 

I am glad I found this board as I'm sure I'm going to need the support now and in the coming months. 

Glad they're able to get you seen quickly. Good luck with everything.

Assembly_Reqd

hugs. i am sorry this is happening to your little guy. i am glad you have been able to get some balls rolling. good luck!

michelle04us

@Princess_lily

Thanks for the CHADD recommendation. I was able to find a lot of stuff to help me when talking to his school about everything. Now I won't go in not knowing what to do or say. 

Once again thanks ladies.