What would you pay?

huntjul

Saturday night DH and I went to my work Christmas party. I asked one of my students who lives in the apartment below ours to "watch" LO. She and her husband are friends with DH and I, so we help each other out with fixing cars and loan each other things, etc. I put LO to bed at 7pm and took the video monitor to the student and asked that if LO should wake up, she should pick her up, call us, and I'd be home in 15 minutes. We came home at 10pm and picked the monitor back up. The student said LO never woke up, so she never left her own apartment.

What would you have paid her?

ETA: We live in the same house, a single family home that is divided into two apartments.  So I didn't leave LO alone in the house.

sleepy33

I might not pay her but bake her something or give her some other little gifty thing. But IDK what is typically done in these situations.

Alexandrap

I'd say between $10-20 although if I were her in that situation I probably wouldn't take any money. If she had been fussy and actually required her to go in and hold her, soothe her or even change her diaper then I'd be offering more money.

EmJ&B

I'd give her $25. You're paying for her time and care.

blueeyedrose86

Am I misunderstanding or did you leave baby alone in the apartment?

ETA: forgot a word

Ballstategrad

What would you have paid her if she watched her sleep from your house? That's what I would pay her.

lolob45

blueeyedrose86 said:

Am I misunderstanding or did you leave baby alone in the apartment?

ETA: forgot a word

I'm wondering the same thing.

huntjul

lolob45 said:

Am I misunderstanding or did you leave baby alone in the apartment?

ETA: forgot a word

I'm wondering the same thing.

The friend lives in the same house, which is divided into three apartments.  So technically the friend was not in the same apartment but was in the same house.  They have the downstairs of the house, and we have the upstairs.  I didn't see it as any different than having a 2-story house and hanging out in the living room while LO is upstairs in a bedroom.

blueeyedrose86

Got ya! Yes that makes a huge difference lol

huntjul

blueeyedrose86 said:

Got ya! Yes that makes a huge difference lol

Yep, cancel call to CPS ]

germanpickle

huntjul said:

lThe friend lives in the same house, which is divided into three apartments.  So technically the friend was not in the same apartment but was in the same house.  They have the downstairs of the house, and we have the upstairs.  I didn't see it as any different than having a 2-story house and hanging out in the living room while LO is upstairs in a bedroom.

Similar, but slightly different: one of our neighbors in our rowhouses actually gives an iphone to other neighbors and one set of keys to their house when they go out. And they are sometimes more than 30 minutes away. I thought this was crazy but since I'm in another culture, I always ask around a little bit before passing my final judgement. All of our neighbors think that's strange but not quite dangerous and did it even though they felt uncomfortable. When we were asked, I agreed to but told them I'd sit in their house the whole thing regardless.

I'm sure the kid is safe but I felt uncomfortable.

...these are also the parents who gave their THREE YEAR OLD a gps sort of thing and let him wander around the houses. Two days into that bullshit, enough neighbors complained and that was ended quickly.

blondolphn

Between $20-30.

jennlin

If you regularly do favors for each other then I would not pay her. Also, since you didn't pay her on the spot, it makes it weird to go back and pay her. A gift ($10-20), or a verbal promise to return the favor would be fair.

KerCo51

I think it depends on your relationship.  Like you said, if you do favors for each other frequently, then I wouldn't pay anything and you will just help her out in some other way.  

allymp13

You probably should have established a form of payment and amount ahead of time.

It sounds like you're trying to cheap out bc the "babysitter" didn't have to do anything. I mean anything other than make sure you're baby was alive while you left her alone in your apt.

ETa-left out word

huntjul

Yes, they can hear her if the monitor malfunctions. The house has concrete block walls and no insulation--standard here in hurricane alley--but we all leave our windows open, so the sounds still carry. And before I get flamed for that, the windows have burglar bars on them and can be left open without creating a security hazard.  

I really wasn't trying to get off on the cheap.  We do a lot of favors for each other, and I considered it another favor, but then I had second thoughts, not wanting to take advantage. I baked her some cookies tonight and will reconsider any child care arrangements we make in the future, making sure payment is clear in advance.  If we use the same person, I'll probably have her stay at our place next time.  I hadn't considered all the what-ifs.  Thanks guys!

BebeOnBoard

Isn't that kind of the same thing that gets debated about here- people living in apartments and leaving baby alone to go to basement to do laundry?
Either way- IMO I wouldn't be comfortable leaving my LO in that situation.

RedZee

BebeOnBoard said:

Isn't that kind of the same thing that gets debated about here- people living in apartments and leaving baby alone to go to basement to do laundry? Either way- IMO I wouldn't be comfortable leaving my LO in that situation.

Yeah, I debate this all the time. I live in an apartment and I always want to be able to go do laundry and stuff but I don't 'cause I'm worried about getting stuck in the elevator or something like that. In terms of a neighbor watching LO like that, I'd probably be ok with that situation.

I'd probably give the cookies and if you decide to ask her again ask her ahead of time if she's really ok with it/wants to get paid (don't know how to phrase that). If they're planning on having kids, you might be returning the favor anyway. I don't think it's a big deal if they can stay in their own place.

BebeOnBoard

Jaycarmelxo said:

blueeyedrose86 said:

Am I misunderstanding or did you leave baby alone in the apartment?

ETA: forgot a word

Edited again.. I could never imagine doing what you did, I just pictured 20 horrific scenarios that could happen while that baby was ALONE.

Yea I cringed when I read that.

Wino0920

There are no words for this post. This is unacceptable. I can't believe you left your baby home alone. That's what it is, let's not pretend it isn't.

yesthisiskim0401

@allymp13 and @wino0920 hit the nail on the head.

psychdoc12

I agree with PP. I live in a house converted into multiple apartments - they're still very much separate residences. I'm having flashbacks to the scooter post from months ago. Sometimes it feels like this poster can do no wrong. At least in her eyes.

Amjoy25

psychdoc12 said:

I agree with PP. I live in a house converted into multiple apartments - they're still very much separate residences. I'm having flashbacks to the scooter post from months ago. Sometimes it feels like this poster can do no wrong. At least in her eyes.

mommyilene

I would probably get her a gift card somewhere for $20.

psychdoc12

btimes3 said:

I love how some folks just answered the question and the rest of us were like

Love.

psychdoc12

The Homer gif was pretty perfect too.

CousinVicki

this post is fascinating on sooo many levels

psychdoc12

@CousinVicki I'd love to hear your opinion.

BebeOnBoard

I'm glad you went there. Because I was tempted to ask my friend who works for CPS what her opinion is.

sooner1981

crunchymama11 said:

ElleStaxx said:

I work for CPS. What is the scooter story? I missed that.

@ElleStaxx she was riding her scooter/moped thing all the time and said it was safe because if she wrecked then her daughter "should" be fine and basically was ok with the idea of a preemie. she was like 32ish weeks along.


As I recall, she said that if she crashed, the "worst" thing that could happen was that her daughter would be born prematurely, which shouldn't be an issue because she was half way through the third trimester... Not taking into account things like placental abruptions, severing/impeding the cord, etc.

I understand some people have to commute to work on scooters in some parts of the world, but the rationale was just a little bizarre.

atcwag

I voted SS. I would have written a nice thank you card and gotten a small gift - box of chocolates, nice bottle of hand lotion, small gift card, etc.