More on weight gain

teaforthree

OP, I'm with you.  I was right on track, gaining exactly a pound a week, and then at my 24 week check up I watched as the scale said I gained nearly ten pounds.  Um, what?  I was literally shocked.  I didn't FEEL like I had gained that much, but I realized that by gaining 10 pounds in one month, in addition to what I had already gained, I was up over half of the amount it was recommended I gain in total (up to 35 pounds).  When I saw the doctor (I hadn't met him before, as they rotate), he didn't even mention it so I asked and he said he wasn't concerned at all.  He said I looked healthy and that if I felt good, that's all that matters and not to be too concerned with the numbers.  He also said that it's rare to gain weight in a straight upward trend, and that it will fluctuate (gain more this month, less the next, etc.) based on what the baby is doing and all that.  Whew!  I felt much better after that.  I try to make smart decisions when I eat and I also try to exercise when I can, but I'm not too worried beyond that.  I figure if the weight doesn't come off that easy after baby is born, I'll do what it takes at that point to take care of it.  For now, I will enjoy my pregnancy and not stress too much.  

*Edited for clarity.

pepperedmoth

I like the guideline @sassyflats suggested of getting to talk about weight without mentioning numbers.

I have HUGE body image issues that stop just shy of a disorder (I love to eat too much), and I would be in tears if my midwife said to me what the OP's midwife said to her. Silly but true. I'd like to be able to talk about my struggles here! I mean, where else CAN I talk about this stuff?

What's nice is that overall I am loving my body for the first time in a long while. I just look sooooooo pregnant that as long as I don't think about numbers on a scale, I can enjoy feeling all maternal and fecund. My husband likes it too. ;-)

But as soon as I have to worry about how much I'm gaining in numbers --- EEEEEK!! I turn around at the midwives' and they don't tell me but I peeked at the gym the other week and was in a funk for DAYS.

luvmybundle

i honestly could care less about who thinks what about my weight (especially on the internet) so i'll respond.  so far i've gained about 23 lbs and the weight keeps on coming.  and so is the horrible teenage acne!  but i remind myself of the miracle that is doing this to my body and tell myself that i will lose the weight after i have my baby girl, which is more than likely a big lie.

off topic: i'm mad the little mermaid was on and i missed almost all of it.

rockopera

kirotea said:

I agree with @sassyflats - no numbers. That's probably why I got a little too bitchy with this post (sorry!). I know numbers upsets a lot of people so seeing that right away kind of made me defensive.

This. And it's more the qualifying statements about numbers - someone who is in a healthy weight range with healthy weight gain throwing out things like "I don't think I look 172" (what should 172 look like, really? Enormous? Grotesque?) and "heavy pregnancy." There is judgement in statements like those.

Dealing with the self esteem issues of weight gain is one thing. I spent all weekend stressed out about feeling/looking like a planet and having 3 months to go, and I've gained hardly anything. Oh, and then I stress out about hardly having gained anything and whether there will be some problem in the future because of my inability to take my vitamins every day or eat any meat.

Venting about numbers with judgement sets people off. A post wanting sympathy for a healthy weight with a healthy gain may also need some perspective.

bran0915

Seriously don't worry about it!! I've said it before, with DD I gained 80lbs!!! Some people just gain more than others. I am eating well, indulging here & there & exercising about 4 days/week and it's still just coming on! Nothing we can really do about it!!

SassyFlats

Dang, I got tagged all over the place up in here!  :>

Having read through these weight threads several times now... it just seems like the #1 problem people have is not that a pregnant woman is uncomfortable or anxious or struggling with her weight gain. The problems are usually "How dare you think XXX is fat/too much/heavy/whatever, because that's where I am."

I GET those problems-- because, to be specific to this post, I was over 172 lbs pre-pregnancy. My BMI is well overweight. But people who would find out my weight would always be totally floored because I didn't "look" it. I don't even know what that's supposed to say-- my weight is my weight. It's a fact. Whether I "look" like the idea someone has in their head about that number is irrelevant.

Health is what matters, not a number. The number is only one small facet of an individual's overall health. I hate that it's such an emotional facet for many... but it is.

ALHolli

When I looked in the mirror this morning I was like "whoa. Where'd that come from?" I've gained a lot less at this point now than I did with DD, and I feel like I looked smaller with her. Everything is going straight out (it looks kinda funny, actually... my ribs still haven't moved anywhere so I look totally normal til my mid belly). With DD I was totally concerned with the numbers and got kinda depressed and down on myself by the end, looking back on my weekly photos and missing how much easier things were "back then" before I was 40 weeks big. 

Now with that thought in mind how things will only get bigger, I appreciate more of this time. For as big as I feel, I know I'll look back and be like "damn, I wish I was 24 weeks again, there was a lot less pain/shortness of breath/swelling etc etc" that happens late 3rd tri. 

And then when everything IS like that, you go into labor and it's over It really is such a short amount of time in hindsight. It's hard to think like that in the thick of your first pregnancy, since it feels like forever, but it will end, and you will feel more like yourself soon enough.

Pinecone21

This is why I love our March board. This thread started with a controversial topic, became a train wreck, and is now a rational discussion full of support.

As for me, I've always been "big-boned". Lots of Eastern European peasant ancestry here. When I was a teen, I went straight from little kid clothes to a size 9 in juniors. I've never been skinny, but I've been healthy. And I can never tell how much anyone weighs just by looking at them.

I am worried about seeing my family at Christmas in a few weeks. They're all big-boned too, but many of them exercise like crazy (as in, train for marathons), and they can be hard on people who gain weight. A few years ago, I lost 20 pounds, and they were so proud. Now, all that weight is back, and I feel bigger than ever. My mom is especially judgmental of women who gain 50+ pounds while pregnant, and while I haven't gained nearly that much (yet), I'm still worried about what she will say about my bump and hips and thighs.

SassyFlats

@Pinecone21 I hear ya, sister. I'll be visiting my family for Christmas, too.

I have a rule for myself: I will NOT tell anyone my weight or how much I've gained. I refuse. I won't do it. Not even my mom. No one. I hope that doing so will help you avoid their judgement, too. But even if not, know that their attitude is a reflection of THEM, not of you or your health or your baby's health. :x

craftiemommie

The nurse always says "oh you know how much you weigh already", but nope, getting weighed at my appointments is the only time it comes up. I used to weigh myself daily to make sure I stayed at what I see now was a ridiculously low number. I've put on a ton of weight, but I have been eating what I want, for the first time I'm my life. We will see what happens after my glucose test, being that my craving is icing and I succumb to it daily!

I have to admit I saw a friend at a party Saturday who is pregnant with her second and due a month before me and is so much tinier and it upset me greatly. Sent me right for the chocolate cake! Eh, I lost a ton of weight a few years back, I'll work on it again post pregnancy.

AriaAmante143

SassyFlats said:

@Pinecone21 I hear ya, sister. I'll be visiting my family for Christmas, too.

I have a rule for myself: I will NOT tell anyone my weight or how much I've gained. I refuse. I won't do it. Not even my mom. No one. I hope that doing so will help you avoid their judgement, too. But even if not, know that their attitude is a reflection of THEM, not of you or your health or your baby's health. :x

This is me, except I don't even know how much I weigh at this point. My doctor weighs me every visit, and I look away. I know I gained the majority of the weight in the first half of my pregnancy, but it's started to taper off (just based on how things fit). My doctor has never brought up my weight, or how much I've gained, so I'm assuming I'm fine, and that's all that matters. After delivery I'll "face the music", weigh myself and plan diet/exercise from there. But for now, how I look in pants is not my priority. My weight is one thing I don't need to
be stressing about right now.

clo1982

AriaAmante143 said:

@Pinecone21 I hear ya, sister. I'll be visiting my family for Christmas, too.

I have a rule for myself: I will NOT tell anyone my weight or how much I've gained. I refuse. I won't do it. Not even my mom. No one. I hope that doing so will help you avoid their judgement, too. But even if not, know that their attitude is a reflection of THEM, not of you or your health or your baby's health. :x

This is me, except I don't even know how much I weigh at this point. My doctor weighs me every visit, and I look away. I know I gained the majority of the weight in the first half of my pregnancy, but it's started to taper off (just based on how things fit). My doctor has never brought up my weight, or how much I've gained, so I'm assuming I'm fine, and that's all that matters. After delivery I'll "face the music", weigh myself and plan diet/exercise from there. But for now, how I look in pants is not my priority. My weight is one thing I don't need to be stressing about right now.

I think that is a great attitude!

Nadeau Photography

I agree with everyone on here saying this should be a safe place to talk weight. It is just as much a part of pregnancy as ligament pains, backaches, kicks, concerns & hiccups! If not here...where else?

I do agree that before posting, people should pause for thought on how they may be coming across....as my norm is not any one else's norm. Some may hear a pre-pregnancy weight and think "wow that's heavy!", where the next lady would reach that weight and look ghastly! Heck, I'm 30-35 lbs heavier than one of my bff's, and even though we are the same height, if I were to weight what she does, I would look sick, and if she weigh'd what my pre-preg weight is...she would look heavy...we are just built differently.

I do feel it necessary, as a drive-by poster (ie; come on here every once in a while, ask a question or give my 2 cents - but am not a regular reader/poster), to point out this is, indeed, a public Internet forum. It is no ones right to tell posters they cannot post about certain subjects.

I get that regulars see it often, and that must get annoying...but if you want to have that much control over the content, this forum is not the place to do it. Its better served in a separately made forum, or FB group where you can control who your members are and what you chat about.

inlovewithrugby

Nadeau Photography said:

I agree with everyone on here saying this should be a safe place to talk weight. It is just as much a part of pregnancy as ligament pains, backaches, kicks, concerns & hiccups! If not here...where else? I do agree that before posting, people should pause for thought on how they may be coming across....as my norm is not any one else's norm. Some may hear a pre-pregnancy weight and think "wow that's heavy!", where the next lady would reach that weight and look ghastly! Heck, I'm 30-35 lbs heavier than one of my bff's, and even though we are the same height, if I were to weight what she does, I would look sick, and if she weigh'd what my pre-preg weight is...she would look heavy...we are just built differently. I do feel it necessary, as a drive-by poster (ie; come on here every once in a while, ask a question or give my 2 cents - but am not a regular reader/poster), to point out this is, indeed, a public Internet forum. It is no ones right to tell posters they cannot post about certain subjects. I get that regulars see it often, and that must get annoying...but if you want to have that much control over the content, this forum is not the place to do it. Its better served in a separately made forum, or FB group where you can control who your members are and what you chat about.

This.

Mskris66

This thread just made my night, I cunt stop laughing...

Jens222

I went to the drs yesterday and was told "you only have 10 more pounds to gain, you will regret anything more. I suggest you stay away from Christmas cookies." I smiled at him, told him when I started eating salads I grained all the weight. I also told him I'm eating all the cookies I want. It didn't bother me one bit. I know I put on weight since my last visit, but I don't care, I'm pregnant and gonna gain weight. So far it's all belly and for the first time in YEARS I'm not trying to hide my belly so if I'm huge oh well I'm happy! STOP LOOKING AT A NUMBER, it truly means nothing.