Bi-Weekly Wine and Cheese Party

sammer818

Hello 6+ers! 

A giant Happy Thanksgiving to those of you who celebrated yesterday...and a giant Happy Friday to everyone! 

It's that time again...Ok, it was actually "that time" last Friday but since I was on vacation, it's a little late this time. This is our bi-weekly check in, condensed version. Feel free to let us know how life is; you can b!tch, you can moan, you can brag, you can cry, whatever you want. Enjoy! 

Since most of us are from the US, we are skipping the wine and cheese and going for leftovers!

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sammer818

My update: our surrogate got her ultrasound and all of her blood work done on Wednesday. Since it's a holiday weekend, I doubt we'll hear anything until next week. Hopefully by Wednesday, she will get medical clearance from our fertility clinic and we can start with the legal paperwork. 

On a semi-NTTCAL note, I've been feeling pretty bummed out lately. I think the holidays have a lot to do with it. Tomorrow is an EDD for me and we lost our 2nd, 3rd, and 5th pregnancies between Thanksgiving and Christmas over the past few years. It's also hard to look around and see all of our friends and family so happy with their new families and their babies/children, and then there's just DH and I on our own. Our friends no longer have time to get together over the holidays with us, and I am feeling pretty shoved aside since we are the only couple without children. I also just feel so inadequate and just not good enough anymore...it sucks. 

jenn0021

@Sammer818 - Huge ((hugs)). I totally understand how you are feeling. We are the only couple amongst our friends without kids and we basically never hang out with anyone anymore. Feeling left behind and alone totally sucks. I'm feeling really bummed out and depressed lately too.

As for me, I'm feeling discouraged. Still no news about my appointment with the fertility centre and I'm so sick of waiting. I just want something to go relatively easily. I'm frustrated that now that Christmas is so close, we won't even get in to see the doctor until at least January or later. I'm just feeling like a failure lately. It doesn't help that we are surrounded by babies and kids and we are just all alone. Blah.

uneek1323

Thanks for the party, @sammer818. I hope you hear soon about your surrogate and can keep going through this process. Many ((hugs)) to you. You'll be on my mind through your EDD and through all the rough dates for you this time of year. I have a few milestone dates this time of year too and I completely understand how you are feeling. The world is celebrating family and children and joy and it's only the day after Thanksgiving and I'm already sick of it hearing about it.

@jenn0021, I hope you can get a call to make your appointment soon. I can understand how frustrated you must be. I also understand the feelings of failing. I often have those thoughts and feelings too. It just compounds the pain but it's hard to not go there.

Thank you again to everyone for supporting me though my lab drama. I think, and I say that very carefully, that there will be no more blood draws at least until our diagnosis. We're waiting for one more result to come back and then we'll meet with the RE. 

EKGibs

@Sammer818: I'm so glad things are moving smoothly with the surrogate!

@jenn0021: I hope you hear something soon from the fertility center. (((((HUGE HUGS))))

@uneek1323: Fx you get the last bit of blood work soon!

 

Sorry I missed the last party. I'm still getting used to my new schedule & haven't been bumping as much. I don't really have any new updates. I just wanted to pop in & say hi! 

Rachaeleigh

good morning ladies.

@sammer818 and @jenn0021 big hugs to you. I completely understand the feeling of being left behind. I don't usually run into too many small children at family functions but we are pretty much the last couple without kids in our group of friends.

sammer, I'll be thinking of you, hoping for good info from surrogate.

jenn, I hope you get that damn appt soon!

@uneek1323 , I hope the lab drama is done! how frustrating.

Another bfn this month. mentally, I'm doing not so bad. physically I started developing hives. wtf!? I went to the dermatologist and she believes that Im reacting to a virus. she drew some blood, which included checking my tsh again.

I've also been experiencing a sudden warm sensation in my foot, like I stepped in warm water. It isn't painful and quickly goes away. of course, I've been googling for days. I'm starting to think that my thyroid may be out of whack. A year ago it was 3.05, which my RE said is within normal. A lot I read says that although that is within normal, it may be too high to sustain a pregnancy.

Anyone with experience?

sorry for lack of capitalization, Damn phone

anitaflora

@sammer818 thanks for the check in. I'm glad it sounds like things are moving along with your surrogate and I hope it all continues to go smoothly with the next steps.

@jenn0021 I'm so sorry your appointment is on hold. I hope it happens as soon as possible.

@uneek1323 I'm glad it sounds like the lab issues have been taken care of. I was lurking over here and reading about it and it sounds like it was a real pain. I hope the rest of the results come back without any issues and that your upcoming appointment goes well.

@EKGibs Hi!!

@rachelhudson - ugh about the hives and foot sensation. And I'm so sorry about your bfn (((hugs))). I had done a good amount of research about TSH and found out some info that helped me understand why my RE was saying it was normal and what I was reading from a lot of sources saying it could be too high. I believe it had something to do with the presence of certain antibodies - that since I didn't have these specific antibodies it was okay that it was what it was (I think in the almost three range) - but I hesitate to say anymore because I don't trust my memory and don't want to mislead you. I can PM you what I found out about it when I have a chance to dig through my emails.

As for me, got some of my ovarian reserve testing back and am waiting for the rest of the results. Will talk with my RE after that to see where we go. So far test results were not too bad but my follicle count was a little low but that might be due to a cyst on my one ovary (one without cyst had 5 but the one with it only had 2). Looking forward to hearing what he has to say and then being able to move forward in one way or another.

This is a bit of a post and run because I'm at my aunt's celebrating Thanksgiving day #2. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

luciddreamer106

@sammer818 I hope that you hear good news regarding the surrogate’s testing next week. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling down and that the holidays are extra difficult for you. I really hope that you’ll be able to share in the joy of growing your family (or are expecting to soon) this time next year.

 @jenn0021 I hope you hear from the fertility clinic soon! I hate the feeling of just waiting around.

 @uneek1323 I hope you hear soon about your test results and I really hope that you’re done with all the drama.

 @ekgibs  Hi!

 @rachaelhudson I’m sorry you’re dealing with strange health issues.  FX that your TSH levels are good. It sounds like there’s something going on with the nerves in your leg and/or your blood vessels. If you haven’t already, you should bring that up because it could be related somehow to the hives.

 @anitaflora Good luck at your next appointment. I hope you get good results and a great plan you feel comfortable with.

This is my first check-in since my intro this week. Just want to say hello to everyone and wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate it.

buggirl72

@sammer818 - (((hugs))) and I'm so sorry you are feeling down right now. The holidays are so hard even without milestones. More (((hugs))).  I hope you get the test results back quickly and the legal process goes smoothly.

@jenn0021 - Jenn, you are not a failure. Please try to believe that. (((hugs))) and I hope the clinic gets back to you quickly so you can get your appointment set.

@uneek1323 - I hope the lab drama is done and you can get your results and diagnosis quickly.

@ekgibs - Hi lovely! How's the job? How's Boomer?

@rachelhudson - Oh goodness! I hope they find out what the cause of the hives are and what is going on with your foot. (((hugs))) and I'm sorry for the BFN.

@anitaflora - Since my last follicle count was four, I think yours was awesome   I hope getting rid of the cyst will get you more follies on that ovary and I think your initial test results being in the normal range is great!  Even if your AmH comes back low you are still looking at the big picture of how all of your test results are.

@luciddreamer106 - Hi! I hope you had a happy Thanksgiving also


My update - on the TTCAL front it looks like I'm going to have another early O. I need to wait to see what my temp does over the next couple days but all signs are pointing that way. I'm not sure how much of this is due to DHEA or my age. I know I have DOR so an earlier O is not surprising but I can't say I'm happy if CD10 is now my new normal O - it's just one more sign of how quickly the clock is running down.

I'm having a much harder time with the holidays then I thought I would. I generally do really well with not reminding myself of how old Zachary should be and things like that but it hit me like a ton of bricks when I was looking at the Black Friday ads.  DH ended up asking me why I am so sad. I told him because I am mourning two things - the loss of Zachary and the loss of my chance to be a mother of a living child. I can't say I am hopeless at this point but I have zero expectation of having my rainbow. I know how long it took me to come to peace with never being a mother the first time after my IF diagnosis and I am not looking forward to going through that process again.

On the non-TTCAL front - I should here something this week about the position that starts a week from Monday. I'm really hoping that it is a project for at least six months and leads to something else.

buggirl72

@snedge - ((((hugs)))) I hate what you are going through right now and how unfair everything is. I wish there was a right answer and an easy way down this shitty path we have been put on.

Rachaeleigh

@ekgibs you and I must have been typing our responses at the same time the other day. Nice to "see" you.

@anitaflora thanks for the info. I know exactly what you mean about anti bodies. I tested negative for them 1 year ago

@luciddreamer106 hi I will definitely be bringing up my foot issue at my next appt. I believe it to be related

@buggirl72 big hugs to you. I hope you get some good news about the position

@snedge I really relate to you. I've been thinking over and over how it's been 1 ye ar since my last loss. Having a hard time coming to terms with that. hugs

anitaflora

@lucciddreamer106 - just saying hi - hope you had a good holiday too if you were one of the ones celebrating! And thanks for the good wishes

@buggirl72 - more hugs your way, love - and I hope you hear some good news about the position you mentioned!  Thanks for the encouragement - I hope you're right.

@snegde - ((((huge hugs)))) - that just sounds like so much to be on your mind right now.  I'm so sorry you're dealing with so much at once right now.  I hope you get to meet with the RE soon and are able to find out some helpful information.  Will be thinking of you and continuing to keep you in my prayers.

RedTwizzlers

@sammer818 - ((hugs)) on your EDD. I will be thinking of you. That's so exciting that your surrogate has started the process! FX everything goes smoothly!

@jenn0021 - I had a similar experience when I was trying to get my surgery, it was like EVERYTHING was so difficult and nothing went smoothly or according to plan. ((hugs)) and I hope you get your appointment soon and can come up with a plan.

@uneek1323 - Glad to hear the lab drama has finally resolved! How stressful. I hope you get a quick appt!

@ekgibs - Hi! How's the new job going? So excited for you! I assume it's going well since you've been busy!

@rachaelhudson - Sorry you're dealing with all that. I don't have any specific experience, I only know that usually they tolerate a higher TSH if you're not a TTC/fertility treatments/pg than if you are. I would definitely ask your doctor about it. Sorry I don't have any numbers for you. I don't think there's any specific number that is *right* though, I think it's a judgement call.

@anitaflora - I hope your appointment goes well and they can help you interpret everything. It's really overwhelming, all the different test results. Ugh! ((hugs))

@luciddreamer106 - Hi and welcome to 6+! Sorry you have to be here

@buggirl72 - ((((HUGE HUGS)))) sweetie. GL with the position, I hope you get good news soon. Do you have a date for the bar exam, round 2 yet?

@snegde - ((hugs)) I think we've all been there, when everything feels just impossible and it doesn't seem like it could ever end well. Sorry to hear you're dealing with so much stuff right now. I'm here if you want to talk.

My update:
TTCAL-wise, I will be seeing DH on Saturday, which is CD14. The past few cycles, I've O'ed between CD12-15, so I'm hooooping for a CD14-15 O which would give us a theoretical chance this cycle. Although if I O too late, we could miss our next chance (we will be together for about 4 weeks). So CD15 would be perfect, lol. I told DH we are HIO the SECOND he walks in the door. He was like, ok! hahaha. Come on, body, cooperate!

Non TTCAL-wise, I'm about to start the last week of my first rotation. The first week or 2 were a little rough, getting the hang of things, but now it's going better. I'm just under so much pressure (put there by myself) to do a good job, and my stress levels are sky-high. I had a really nice weekend at one of my best friend's bridal showers, which was awesome. I usually miss all that stuff since I live abroad, so it was really wonderful to be able to go.

((((HUGS)))) all around!

buggirl72

@RedTwizzlers - you get to see YH this weekend!!!!!! I'm so excited for you! And congrats on starting the last week of your first rotation. You are so close!

Bar #2 is Feb 25th and 26th. This round I get to write 9 state specific essays, MPT (closed universe essay) and 200 multiple choice questions. For the last bar, I had 6 essays with 2 MPTs. TN, besides having more essays, also has more areas of law to study. They list 20 total topics that you need to know but it actually is 26 since they combine topics on the list (like Criminal Procedure and Criminal Law - two totally different areas).  I have 12 weeks. Over the next 8 weeks I want to study those 20 topics. I need to make my study schedule up and decide what topics go best together.

RedTwizzlers

buggirl72 said:

@RedTwizzlers - you get to see YH this weekend!!!!!! I'm so excited for you! And congrats on starting the last week of your first rotation. You are so close!

Bar #2 is Feb 25th and 26th. This round I get to write 9 state specific essays, MPT (closed universe essay) and 200 multiple choice questions. For the last bar, I had 6 essays with 2 MPTs. TN, besides having more essays, also has more areas of law to study. They list 20 total topics that you need to know but it actually is 26 since they combine topics on the list (like Criminal Procedure and Criminal Law - two totally different areas).  I have 12 weeks. Over the next 8 weeks I want to study those 20 topics. I need to make my study schedule up and decide what topics go best together.

Holy crap. Also, what, pray tell, is a "closed universe essay?"

buggirl72

RedTwizzlers said:

buggirl72 said:

@RedTwizzlers - you get to see YH this weekend!!!!!! I'm so excited for you! And congrats on starting the last week of your first rotation. You are so close!

Bar #2 is Feb 25th and 26th. This round I get to write 9 state specific essays, MPT (closed universe essay) and 200 multiple choice questions. For the last bar, I had 6 essays with 2 MPTs. TN, besides having more essays, also has more areas of law to study. They list 20 total topics that you need to know but it actually is 26 since they combine topics on the list (like Criminal Procedure and Criminal Law - two totally different areas).  I have 12 weeks. Over the next 8 weeks I want to study those 20 topics. I need to make my study schedule up and decide what topics go best together.

Holy crap. Also, what, pray tell, is a "closed universe essay?"


A closed universe essay is where they give you everything you need - including the law - to write the answer (the library). They also give you things you don't need

In the case of the MPT, you get a document pack that is around 40 pages long. It starts with a memo from a partner outlining your task (writing a memo, drafting a response, drafting a closing argument, etc). The packet then contains correspondence from who you are representing and generally a copy of a deposition from the other party and your party. You may have two or three pages of statutes. It finishes with cases that you need to read, glean the law from and figure out how to apply to your task.

It's the closest thing to a practical exam that they do. You want to spend no more than 45 minutes reading everything and outlining your response so you have 45 minutes left to write it.

Positives - other than making sure you know the basic answer formats for the different tasks and can complete them in the time frame allotted, no studying required.

Rachaeleigh

buggirl72 said:

RedTwizzlers said:

buggirl72 said:

@RedTwizzlers - you get to see YH this weekend!!!!!! I'm so excited for you! And congrats on starting the last week of your first rotation. You are so close!

Bar #2 is Feb 25th and 26th. This round I get to write 9 state specific essays, MPT (closed universe essay) and 200 multiple choice questions. For the last bar, I had 6 essays with 2 MPTs. TN, besides having more essays, also has more areas of law to study. They list 20 total topics that you need to know but it actually is 26 since they combine topics on the list (like Criminal Procedure and Criminal Law - two totally different areas).  I have 12 weeks. Over the next 8 weeks I want to study those 20 topics. I need to make my study schedule up and decide what topics go best together.

Holy crap. Also, what, pray tell, is a "closed universe essay?"

A closed universe essay is where they give you everything you need - including the law - to write the answer (the library). They also give you things you don't need

In the case of the MPT, you get a document pack that is around 40 pages long. It starts with a memo from a partner outlining your task (writing a memo, drafting a response, drafting a closing argument, etc). The packet then contains correspondence from who you are representing and generally a copy of a deposition from the other party and your party. You may have two or three pages of statutes. It finishes with cases that you need to read, glean the law from and figure out how to apply to your task.

It's the closest thing to a practical exam that they do. You want to spend no more than 45 minutes reading everything and outlining your response so you have 45 minutes left to write it.

Positives - other than making sure you know the basic answer formats for the different tasks and can complete them in the time frame allotted, no studying required.


@buggirl72 I'm very impressed!

luciddreamer106

@buggirl72 ((hugs)) Holidays are so hard for us angel moms. I hope you’re able to stay sane during your bar prep.

@snegde The should and would haves are so hard to get out of your head. I’m finding that they keep creeping up on me, too.

@redtwizzlers I hope your body cooperates with your plan! I’m glad you were able to go to your friend’s bridal shower. So fun! Do you know what you want to do for residency (i.e. in the US or abroad)?

@hawkward I’m sorry you have to be here.

jbasore1123

Hi ladies, sorry I'm late. I took a little bump break since last Wednesday.

Honestly, there is not much to report. Still bummed that we didn't get the chance to transfer during our first round of IVF. I spoke with the RE a week ago and we are going to try again in January. I've started my BCP and keep playing phone tag with the RN's about my calendar. Hopefully I get ahold of them this week. Not looking forward to draining my bank account, but I REALLY hope we get at least one healthy embryo next time.

Non-TTCAL: Nothing new. Had a great Thanksgiving, but the long weekend flew by too fast

jenkellen

Hi ladies, sorry for the late check-in. 

@sammer818 - I am sorry you are going through such a hard time right now. I feel like during the holidays TTCAL hits you like a load of bricks. (((hugs)))

@jenn0021 - Ug, frustrating to still be in waiting mode. I hope you can get in for an appt soon.

@uneek1323 - Do you know when you will get your final results? FX it gets in soon and you can get your appt scheduled.

@EKGibs - sounds like all is well with the new job. Great!

@rachaelhudson - did you get any resolution from your doctor? I hope you feel better soon!

@anitaflora - glad your testing is wrapping up. Did you decide to get an SA?

@luciddreamer106 - (((hugs)))

@buggirl72 - I am so sorry you are having a hard time. I wish I could say something that would make everything better, but I know I can't. The holidays are so hard. (((hugs)))

@snegde - How is the monitoring going? I've been thinking a lot about you. Testing is very stressful.

@RedTwizzlers - FX for timing, but I'm sure you want have any problems getting busy after being apart for so long! I also think last time you asked me about where I was traveling too in Germany - I am going to Stuttgart. 

@Hawkward - Welcome. I am sorry to hear you are going through some stressful testing. (((hugs)))

My update:

We got our diagnosis last week. My husband has only 2% morphology. This was honestly the last thing I thought that was wrong with us. Our first bfp was after 3 cycles of trying so I figured I had a structural issue or something related to my D&C. So it appears my pregnancy, although lost, was actually a miracle. Our chances of conceiving naturally are very low each cycle, at least according to my RE. From what I've researched so far, morphology seems the least important of the 3 criteria, and it's a mixed bag of people getting pregnant naturally, through IUI or IVF. My insurance covers 6 rounds of IUI + ovulation stimualation so we are going to start there in February. My husband is traveling almost 2 weeks of this month so it's shot, and next month we go to Germany. So Germany will be the last try before we move on to getting help. My RE said IVF + ICSI would be the best choice for us, but she said IUI gives us a pretty good chance as I have no issues and did get pregnant on my own. She has high hopes for it work. We will try 3 IUIs and then decide on what to do next. 

My husband looked extremely upset at the REs office so I've been trying to be as positive and supportive as possible. He seems OK now that he has had time to process it, but I think he's devastated. I know we'll get through it but it will be a challenge.

Non TTCAL related, I've been trying to learn some German. It's going terribly! If you were a fly on the wall I'm sure you'd get a good laugh listening to my horrible repetition skills. Works crazy as usual, and I'm trying to get back to my exercise routine. 

jap618

@sammer818 Thanks for hosting.  I'm so sorry you're having a hard time right now emotionally.  So many ((hugs)) I hope you continue to get good news on the surrogate so that you have something to look forward to.  

@jenn0021 ((hugs)) lady  You know I'm always here if you want to talk.  I really hope you get that appointment soon; waiting sucks.

@uneek1123 FX the lab finally got everything figured out for you.  I hope you get your results soon so you can meet with the RE soon ((hugs)) 

@rachaelhudson I'm sorry for the BFN ((hugs)) I hope the virus is nothing and that the hives go away!!!  Hopefully your thyroid isn't too high & you get some answers soon!

@anitaflora FX for a good appointment!!

@buggirl72 Huge, huge ((hugs)) I'm sorry you're having a hard time right now.  FX you hear about the project asap!!!!

@snedge ((hugs)) I hear you on the exhaustion.  When is your RE appointment?

@RedTwizzlers FX for O!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm glad you got to spend some time with friends & you're almost done with your first rotation  

@hawkward ((hugs)) lady.  You are so brave & I hope it goes as easy as possible for you.  Take care of yourself!

Update on me:  I have my appointment with the RE on Wednesday at 2:30. I'm ok as long as there are no curve balls.  I am going in knowing that there is scar tissue across the top half of my uterus and I assume I will need a hysteroscopy to remove it.  I also know that I've been having periods and while they're mostly brown blood they are there and aren't as light as I assumed they would be.  BUT in the off chance that there will be ANY veering from this plan I ultimately feel like this going into it:

I'll update after Wednesday.  

RedTwizzlers

@jbasore1123 - I hope you get an appt soon and that your next cycle goes much better.

@jenkellen - ((hugs)) I'm so sorry to hear that you are dealing with that diagnosis. I'm glad you have a plan though. Have fun in Germany! I've been to Stuttgart, it's nice! The whole area is nice, so hopefully you can travel to a few nearby cities.

@jap618 - Good luck on Wednesday, I hope you don't get any curveballs thrown at you.

lotus88

Lurking. *siggy warning*.







@rachaelhudson
I tried to find the latest from the journal of endocrinology, but I can't find the article I read before. This gives an overview and might answer some of your questions. Or at least give you a starting point for questions with your OB. I've taken synthroid for my only successful pregnancies though my levels have always been "normal", but elevated for somebody with recurrent losses. I hope that helps. Sorry for butting in.

https://thyroid.about.com/od/hormonepregnantmenopause1/a/Effects-of-Pregnancy-On-Thyroid-Tsh-Levels.htm

jap618

@jbasore1123 ((hugs)) I've been thinking of you. I hope you can get ahold of the RN asap and get started on the BC so you're ready for January!  

@jenkellen oh ((hugs)) to you & your DH.  I know we have such a mixed bag of emotions at any given time throughout all of this so I can only imagine how your DH must be feeling with that news.  It sounds like you're being amazingly supportive & wonderful  FX you get KTFU in the next two cycles  Have fun in Germany!!

jenkellen

jbasore1123 - sorry I missed you! Probably posting at the same time. I've been thinking about you a lot. I hope you got through Thanksgiving OK. (((hugs)))

Rachaeleigh

@lotus88 thank you so much for the info. I'm interested to see what my tsh is tomorrow, although I know other tests are needed as well. I'm pretty sure I'm going back to my RE soon to further discuss

KMW08

@sammer818 giant squishy hugs. Hope you get all the results back in the next few days. I'll be thinking about you with the edd's.

@jenn0021 sorry it's taking so long to get an appointment & that you're feeling so discouraged. I relate to that.

@uneek1323 glad no more bw fiasco. FX for it to return ASAP so you can get the ball rolling.

@rachaelhudson ((hugs)) for the bfn. Hope the hives have cleared up. I'd definitely ask about the tsh & GL with those results tomorrow.

@EKGibs Hi!!! I can't wait for the day when you have a crazy prison X-ray story--not too many xrayers can start a story with "I had a prisoner who..."

@anitaflora GL with all the test results. Hope you get a good plan in place.

@luciddreamer106 hi!! I'm a bad 6+'er & don't think I welcomed you in your intro. Welcome & I'm sorry you've made it here.

@buggirl72 holy ballz! I have no doubts that you'll ace it. They need to provide a masseuse and hand therapy after all that!! Massive hugs to you also. Holidays just suck for the AL community. Hope you've been settling in to the new city pretty well.

@snegde so many hugs love. I'm here if you need me.

@RedTwizzlers FX FX FX for O to cooperate. Have a great time Saturday, it's going to be a blast!

@Hawkward be kind to yourself. I'm proud that you're putting yourself in that situation, your sister should be very grateful for your help & support.

@jap618 thinking about you and GL wed. It's all so overwhelming at times, esp when you've been able to educate yourself /google it to no end. Fwiw I think that's normal--I admit I still google septums pretty much daily X_X

@jenkellen (((hugs))) so sorry to hear of the mfi dx. I hope you have a great time in Germany. I'd love to be that fly on the wall but I wouldn't know it was bad, so you'd just sound like a crazy German to me!

@jbasore1123 so many hugs. Hope you hear back from the RN soon. You've been on my mind & I too hope you made it through thanksgiving okay. (((Hugs)))

KMW08

For me, I'm a horrible 6+'er. I really do lurk over here, but it's really only every couple of days, so I'm sorry for that ladies!

Last cycle was my first ttc post surgery. I was hopeful of course, but I'm CD1 & relieved. I relate to the holidays being depressing enough, so I'm relieved that it wasn't "the" cycle, so that I wouldn't have all the fear & or another loss to deal with, with Xmas coming up. I know how ridiculous that is, but I really just expect failure at this point.

I know I haven't given my improved ute a fair chance and structurally my ute looks so much better, but she's a bitch that I still don't trust.

Rachaeleigh

@jap618 Will be thinking about you for you're appt. GL!

@jenkellen sorry to hear about the dx. I'm glad you're trying to also be supportive of DH. my results come tomorrow. crazy how I'm hoping for you the blood work to show something wrong

@jbasore1123 ((hugs))

@hawkward I'd love to hear updates about your thyroid... well all updates of course, but you know what I mean. I've definitely seen an increase in anxiety as well. of course depression through last year, but I hesitate to call it that bc I find it difficult to separate from grief, just for me. sending lots of thoughts your way for your week ahead

@redtwizzlers I somehow missed you I think. I hope your body kicks it into gear for that O timing that you want!

jap618

@kmw08 (((hugs))) lady  I'm sorry for CD 1 even if it did bring some "relief" at this time of the year.  I know it's easier said than done to keep the glass half full.  You're ute is beautius now & she needs a fair chance  But either way, the saying "glass half full" made me think of this:

@RN536 YAY for CD 1; isn't it weird when we get excited for CD1?!  FX for a great cycle