So I have 2 DSD(5 and 4). I have been married to DH since they were 18 months and 2 1/2. We have had full custody for over 2 years. I know kids go through stages but the two girls are really making me feel bad. All I have heard is they don't want me, they want Dad. I try to play it off and joke around with them, or tell them that daddy will be around when they are done with school. DH works nights, so its just me in the morning and during the day on weekends. When DH is around(everyday after noon), he doesn't ignore them, they are always working on homework, playing or goofing around. What am I supposed to do? I actually cried this morning about it. I have no idea what I have done so horribly wrong. I think I am just having a pity party. I don't know. Feel free to suggest other things to try to do. I am at a loss.
Re: I just want Daddy!
Ignore it, this is a stage and an age appropriate one.
https://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/behavior/when-toddlers-prefer-one-parent.aspx
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-favorite-child/201003/is-there-favorite-parent
https://www.boston.com/community/moms/articles/2003/07/17/when_daddys_little_boy_only_wants_mommy/
I think I knew it was a stage but in my head I keep thinking its me. It is really starting to hurt my feelings. My DD 10 hasn't said that to me yet.
The girls BM calls twice a week when her phone isn't dead, when she isn't in the hospital or driving home from work, which amounts to maybe 4 phone calls a month. I don't think its her telling them not to love me.
I'm sorry you are going through this.
I never went through this; it was the opposite with me. I was the "favorite." In our situation, DH was working long hours and travelling; I was with the kids 98% of the time. I know DH felt really bad about it, but it was not a complete surprise given our circumstance.
Are you working when the girls are home after school? Is it possible because DH sees them after school that they are more attached to him as the primary caregiver?
In our case, things did not change until DH started a new job where he was working from home 3-4 days a week.
I know my post might make you feel worse - that is not my intent! But I wanted to explain what happened in our home as an alternative to "it's just a phase."
They are developmentally a little old for this though. I wonder if they're clinging to the bio parent that's most involved with them because they're feeling some abandonment from the other parent...the fact that your Dh works a lot can't help.
I would think about seeing a child therapist who specializes in attachment
He is the one that picks them up from school. I am there in the morning, for dinner, bath time, reading stories before bed(they don't like to read stories I don't know why) and bed time. The only time I get to really play with them is on the weekend but that is also the only time I have to get the majority of the cleaning done. My DH does work long hours, but they are when they are sleeping or at school. My DD(10) has never done this and my 18 month is very attached to me and DH keeps joking he will turn him.
Just make sure are setting aside time for just the two/three of you. Don't Give them any reason to think in their self-centered children's mindset that their feelings towards the other parent affect your feelings towards them. Kids are naturally unappreciative and easy to lean toward favoritism. But they are also fickle and quick to change their minds. So just stay set in yours.