Gifting question

Pumpkinpiemomma

Hi all, first time poster here! I am probably over thinking this, but here it goes. I am legally separated from my stbxh since January. He refuses to sign divorce papers basically out of spite, but hasn't actually told anyone anything as to why. Basically he is very unbalanced and abusive and an alcoholic, he is diagnosed bipolar and not medicating.

He has not seen or asked about DS (2) since his felony arrest in January. He is out of jail now and still leaving us alone. Thru all this his family has taken my side, and I see MIL with DS about 1x a month and we go to lunch and shopping. They still refer to me as Aunt to SIL's child too.

So my question is for Christmas should I get something small for MIL & FIL and my nephew? If I do should I put that it is just from DS or from DS and myself? Any suggestions for a small gift for MIL and FIL?

+just+j+

I would buy one gift for each and say it is for both.

Wahoo

As you still have a relationship with them, then I would get a gift. 

You can get them something that DS has made, like make a t-shirt with DS's handprint or a do-it-yourself garden stone set (available at craft stores, and I did that and I am not crafty!!!).  Or a framed photo of DS.  If you are crafty, check out ideas on pintarest.

If you want more of a "gift" gift - - it depends on what they like.  Slippers, a gift card for MIL to get a manicure, etc.

twister22

+just+j+ said:

I would buy one gift for each and say it is for both.

This. You still have a relationship with his family, and you are still referred to as aunt. And they are on good terms with you.

ambrvan

I agree with PPs.

And can I also say that this is absolutely awesome! if you guys can keep this up and they can continue to see through your XH's BS, then life for your DS will be so much smoother. My mom and my paternal grandmother are still close enough that my grandmother ask calls her her daughter and my half sister calls my grandmother Mamaw. My mom is sensitive to get new husband and ILs, but she has not forgotten my dad's family, and for that my brother and I are very grateful. It makes our lives much easier.

ambrvan

I also thought I might want to add... I wouldn't want to have any expectations due these relationships other than to be treated cordially and respectfully. It is awesome thatyouare all able to still be involved together, but chances are that one day there will be an argument or hurt feelings that cause that rift of not being blood or tied by marriage to surface. Doesn't mean it will run things forever. I just mean that you should remember that unfortunately, though when things are good they're great, when things are bad, they could be really bad.

But back to the positive... This is awesome! Maybe a handmade or personalized gift that your DS has a part in to really show how meaningful their continued relationship is and how much you appreciate their support despite the circumstances. Like a handpainted coffee mug or something.

Pinkpenguin+

I agree with PPs. I would get something for them. I like the handmade gifts from DS idea as well.

Pumpkinpiemomma

Thanks everyone! I really like the handmade gift idea, my church actually does a make your own ornaments party so that is the perfect time to make them something.

@Ambrvan - I know just what you mean about good being good and when it's bad it's bad. I keep my guard up with them for that reason, but thus far they haven't done anything to make me wary of their motives so fingers crossed it continues. They aren't even exempt from stbxh's rages. We were actually out shopping a week ago and he cursed his own mother out on her voicemail for not answering her phone.