For the Team Blue mamas... circumcision poll

figgs0831

Another poster shared an article of a botched circumcision and it got me thinking. I think I just realized that I have a penis inside me and will need to make this decision in a few months. So, do you plan on circumcising your baby?

ETA:  This poll was not meant to start a war or to flame anyone.  Just looking for thoughts 

maelic

We're team green, so we need to preemptively have that discussion. I don't want my child circumcised, my husband is leaning towards circumcision (he is circumcised himself, though he has a scar from the procedure). My compromise so far has been to veto circumcision at the hospital, we can find a pediatric urologist to do it later if we still want to. 

TallaB

Thankgoodness we're having a girl!

nikki912

Team green, but we will not if its a boy. We didn't circumcise my 2yr old son either.

thomas930

We had my DS circumcised and plan to have this little one circumcised as well. We had our pedi do it last time but have moved 4 hours away since then. I'm seriously considering driving down to that pedi to have it done. It wouldn't be too much trouble since its the same town my parents live in.

RedBird11

I don't know if I am having a boy or a girl yet. But I have been thinking about this question a lot lately just in case. I am pretty on the fence about it but I told DH that I will ultimately leave the choice up to him. He is leaning towards circumcision. 

reginahcampbell

I'm team green, but left the decision up to DH. He thinks we should.

WifeofaComposer

** TMI WARNING **

I've had mixed feelings about circumcision, but my DH and I decided together that we will choose to. Our decision is based on the simple fact that my DH is circumcised, and we want the baby's penis to look the same.

When Skippy was born, I chose to have him circumcised, but the doctor who started the procedure found a "deformity", which led to a major snag. He (the doctor) made the initial cut and realized that Skippy's pee hole was not in the typical place. He sent poor, tiny Skippy home with a bleeding butterfly foreskin that required a lot of attention. I was told I had 3 days to get him in to see a urologist before the foreskin healed in the mutilated state left by the first doctor. Thankfully, a urologist saw him 2 days later, and after a 30-second check, he said, "This child is not deformed. He's just going to have trouble with aim when he gets older. Go get this circumcision finished now." The rest of his foreskin was removed 20 minutes later, and he was completely healed within 3 days.

This is why I was hesitant to do it again, but we're going to a different hospital with excellent doctors this time.

KatieKim0815

Not my penis, not my choice.

I have no religious views or anything on the topic so if we were to do it, it would be purely cosmetic and I don't think cosmetic surgery on a day old baby is very nice but that's just me. I personally couldn't part with him that close for something so invasive. 

Sarahjess06

This was part of the reason I was hoping for a girl.

Ugh. I do not want to circumcise this next boy. Our DS is only bc I didn't know better. Once I was informed it cuts off something like 20,000 nerve endings, I felt terrible! However SO refuses to have a son that's whole. For this reason we are "undecided"

5 months and counting to get him to see the light

DaisyJanie

Don't know sex of this one yet, but my 2-year-old son is not circumcised. I was against it, my DH was tentatively for it. He was worried that our LO would be the only uncirc'd boy around. But he was convinced that circ rates are dropping and that it wouldn't be "weird" to be uncirc'd. I don't have super-strong thoughts about this, but I just feel it's a purely cosmetic procedure and if I have the option to avoid pain for my LO, I'll choose that.

We've had no issues keeping the area clean, we'll definitely not circ the next one if it's a boy.

AcaAwkward

We are not. DH actually feels pretty strongly about it which surprised (and pleased!) me. It's going to weird my MIL out to no end which will, in turn, also delight me.

ashcole28

DS is circumcised and this one will be as well if it's boy.

amhah09

I SS so I could see results. I wanted to comment that I've never understood the "DH gets to make that decision" argument. Because he had a penis? Are you not equally responsible for your son's well being? We circumcised DS because I didn't know any better. DH would've wanted to circumcise this one (thankfully it's a girl) but I would fight him tooth and nail on it now. He doesn't get sole responsibility of that decision just because he has the penis in our marriage.

krazy6262

We don't know the gender yet, but we did have this discussion and decided to circumcise.

amhah09

Even two circumcised penises don't look the same...

sunshineinmay09

We are team green and we will not circumcise. Our DS is circumcised and I wish we had never had it done. In fact, I cried for days afterwards. I knew at the time I didn't want it done, but I didn't have a lot of knowledge or information to persuade DH otherwise. His reasoning at the time was that he wanted DS to look like him. 

DH is still on the fence about not circumcising if this baby is a boy, but I am not. I did a lot of research on both sides. There was lots of fascinating information. One of the pieces of information that helped make up my mind was that in many other countries they DO NOT circumcise unless it is medically necessary and that the US is one of the only countries to have circumcisions routinely performed for cosmetic purposes.

Bees Everywhere

Oh good this topic came up.

We did, DH got to be there when it was done and said it was super fast and very little fussing. 

strawberrytree

We don't circ, although we don't know the sex of this baby yet. My husband- who is circumcised- did the research and came to the decision that he wanted his boys left intact. FWIW not circing is now the norm where I live and the circ rate is something like 10%, which I found interesting since the "but he'll be teased in the locker room!" argument is frequently brought up. 

rlmanning

Team Green here... We will Circ if it is a boy. 

Bluebird2318

Surprisingly, I am actually less anti-circumcision now than I was when I was younger (less flamingly so anyway). According to the AAP, the benefits do outweigh the risks, just not enough for them to recommend circumcision as a general rule. As long as parents are making an informed decision, I don't feel negatively either way. 

If I have a son, I would be happy to not have him circ'd, but I would not feel tremendously uncomfortable having him circ'd either if that is the decision we made together. I know DH would want him circ'd if I asked him now, but I still plan on bringing it up once we know the sex so that it is an informed decision either way. 

Also, bravo for this not turning into a flame war on the first page! Don't let me down, A14! [-O< And if someone slips something into the Koolaid, have your ranch pics ready!

ETA: My vote was "haven't decided yet." 

Mustardseed2007

I am also pleasantly surprised that this thread is going so civilly. that's awesome

 

We did circ DS. But I'm glad we're having a girl this time so we don't have to think about it anymore.

 

hordol

I chose SS because we were planning on circumcising (and probably will end up circumcising) because DH really wants to (and it's one of the few things he feels very strongly about when it comes to parenting thus far, so I was planning on compromising and going along with it.) I'm not against circumcising, so that makes it easier for us, but I am on the fence, especially after doing more research and hearing stories like the one posted today. We decided we will probably circumcise, but if baby is born and the foreskin isn't as "accessible" as it should be, we won't do it. I will admit that I need to do more research, but it seems like the bulk of complications come about because the doctor had a hard time removing all (or too much) of the foreskin. If baby's penis is difficult, we won't do it. That said... DH nor I will know what constitutes as good penis/foreskin for circumcision so we have more to think through with our current plan, haha.

deidremaria

Don't know the sex yet but luckily my SO and I have come to the agreement very early in the pregnancy that circumcision is not an option. If that foreskin wasn't supposed to be there he wouldn't be born with it. My SO is not circumcised and his penis is not "unsightly" and he is very clean so I trust that we will both teach our (hypothetical) son good hygiene.

CalinAZ

SS since we don't know the sex yet. If we do end up having a boy, we'll start researching, and use the information to make our decision . DH's inclination is yes, mine is undecided.

Bluebird2318

LalaMama81 said:

WifeofaComposer said:

** TMI WARNING **

I've had mixed feelings about circumcision, but my DH and I decided together that we will choose to. Our decision is based on the simple fact that my DH is circumcised, and we want the baby's penis to look the same.

So, this is the one reason I don't get. My kids don't have the same color hair I do, only one has the same color eyes. They will both certainly be taller. Our vulvas might not look the same, either, gasp. I just don't get why it's even a thing. 

@Lalamama81 I think it's just one of those comfort zone things, particularly as it applies to proper care/cleaning practices, etc. Not to say that a circ'd parent is not capable of teaching an un-circ'd child to clean himself properly, but given two acceptable options (either circing or not circing), a lot of people will just go with what they know already. I think a lot of the people who make the decision with that reason in mind are making it because the pros and cons are so even to them that they err on the side of familiarity. 

Bluebird2318

@Lalamama81 I love discussion and debate! When it's civil you can usually get some good and interesting information out of it! And whether your mind is changed or not (generally not, of course), you potentially come out of it better and more informed than when you came in. It's just that when people stop being civil they stop being open to the benefits of discussion/debate, and it just becomes anger and ranch.

We just have to avoid discussing the health hazards of lighting candles or it could get real crazy in here. 

WifeofaComposer

LalaMama81 said:

WifeofaComposer said:

** TMI WARNING **

I've had mixed feelings about circumcision, but my DH and I decided together that we will choose to. Our decision is based on the simple fact that my DH is circumcised, and we want the baby's penis to look the same.

So, this is the one reason I don't get. My kids don't have the same color hair I do, only one has the same color eyes. They will both certainly be taller. Our vulvas might not look the same, either, gasp. I just don't get why it's even a thing. 

@LalaMama81 - it's the choice my husband and I made together. I don't expect you to "get it". We made the decision for our child, just as you and your SO make decisions for your kids. Plain and simple.

AcaAwkward

Bluebird2318 said:

@Lalamama81 I love discussion and debate! When it's civil you can usually get some good and interesting information out of it! And whether your mind is changed or not (generally not, of course), you potentially come out of it better and more informed than when you came in. It's just that when people stop being civil they stop being open to the benefits of discussion/debate, and it just becomes anger and ranch.

We just have to avoid discussing the health hazards of lighting candles or it could get real crazy in here. 

!!!!!!!!CHEMICALS!!!!!!

homediva

Team Green, but definitely not and didn't last time.

MamaFantastic

i'm having a girl this time, but i replied to the poll with our decision when we had our son (which was to move forward with a circumcision).  our procedure was flawless and he wasn't even crying when they brought him back 20 minutes after they took him away.

for kicks, i just asked my husband if he would have wanted to do another circumcision if we were having a second boy this time around, and he said very quickly "of course, why wouldn't i?"

and then i asked him if he'd want to accompany the baby to the procedure and witness the process, and he just as quickly said "no way!"  

we're pro-circ, but not in a crazy passionate way.  i don't care what other people do, but circ is right for our family and i feel comfortable about our decision without needing to get preachy about it to other parents.

Medic99

I do not want to circumcise but my husband wants to. We have a battle on our hands. My H is an RN and has taken care of older gentlemen that have needed a circumcision done later in life. He talked to them after the procedure and they wish it was done at birth instead of later in life. That is why my H wants it done. I am going to ask him to do research before he makes his final decision.

amhah09

Medic99 said:

I do not want to circumcise but my husband wants to. We have a battle on our hands. My H is an RN and has taken care of older gentlemen that have needed a circumcision done later in life. He talked to them after the procedure and they wish it was done at birth instead of later in life. That is why my H wants it done. I am going to ask him to do research before he makes his final decision.

This would be the result of improper care, not because intact penises always need circumcised.

WifeofaComposer

@Bluebird2318 - I'm kind of in love with your levelheadedness right now...

SPS430

My husband is naturally circumcised. I was hoping ds1 would be as well so we wouldn't have to deal with it. We ended up doing it and had our ob do the procedure. The ped said it was the best looking one ages seen. He left more skin there than normal

Medic99

amhah09 said:

I do not want to circumcise but my husband wants to. We have a battle on our hands. My H is an RN and has taken care of older gentlemen that have needed a circumcision done later in life. He talked to them after the procedure and they wish it was done at birth instead of later in life. That is why my H wants it done. I am going to ask him to do research before he makes his final decision.

This would be the result of improper care, not because intact penises always need circumcised.

. We are both in the medical field and completely understand why.

Twirple

The men on my side of the family are circ'd.  The men on DH's side of the family are not.  DS is not circ'd and the first time by brother saw me change his diaper, he asked why we left him intact.  I told my brother that it is not difficult to care for and that the end up removing a bunch of nerve endings when they circ.  Supposedly sex is more pleasurable for an intact man.

My brother turned to my Mom and asked for his foreskin back!

We are team green, but if we have a boy, we will leave his penis the way he was born.

WifeofaComposer

LalaMama81 said:

LalaMama81 said:

WifeofaComposer said:

** TMI WARNING **

I've had mixed feelings about circumcision, but my DH and I decided together that we will choose to. Our decision is based on the simple fact that my DH is circumcised, and we want the baby's penis to look the same.

So, this is the one reason I don't get. My kids don't have the same color hair I do, only one has the same color eyes. They will both certainly be taller. Our vulvas might not look the same, either, gasp. I just don't get why it's even a thing. 

@LalaMama81 - it's the choice my husband and I made together. I don't expect you to "get it". We made the decision for our child, just as you and your SO make decisions for your kids. Plain and simple.

You're not the only person who has given this reason, but you are person who gave it in this thread. You had to know, given the culture surrounding circ, that someone would ask about your reason. I didn't set out to argue with you about it, like I said its reasoning that doesn't compute with me. I'm also happy to explain any decision I make for the sake of conversation and discussion. Why post about it if you don't actually want to discuss it?

@LalaMama81 - I didn't see your response as an argument at all, I just wish I could've given a more specific reason. It was just an elementary decision that we made without a lot of weighing pros and cons, which I can't explain, and I didn't think anyone would put any thought into what we choose. Basically, we made a decision for the sake of making one. I've never seen the topic as a particularly big deal. Some people do it, some people don't. I feel the same way about vegan or carnivorous diets. It's not always an examined decision, it's just the way it is.

Rrrrrachel

And every other place mothers meet and talk on the internet.

Bluebird2318

I feel like The Bump really values its drama and flame wars compared to other baby boards for some reason. It's sort of like fried food and BBQ. It exists in the North, and people love it. But take a trip down South, and suddenly it's everywhere, and it's an art form. There's no drama quite like Bump drama. 

ETA: Oh great. Now I'm really craving some Jim 'N Nick's. Why can't you have nice things, Michigan?

Medic99

I think it is crazy how other people get their panties in a bunch over what another mother does or does not do for their child. Place your facts on the table and let other people decide. Yelling, screaming, and calling names certainly won't help your cause......ya know? I am glad this post has been civil.