So I'm having a hard time dealing with this last failed iUI. My whole life my mom has been my rock...then I came out. When I told my mom about Sarah she didn't fly off the deep end at first. Sarah was getting out of a long relationship and had a hard time doing so, but loved me. It was an emotional roller coaster. When I was going through this with her, I was living at home to do my student teaching and my dad died. This gave mom plenty of time to feel she needed to protect me (like any mother). She didn't like that I was on this emotional roller coaster and went claws out after Sarah. That summer about 4 months later I couldn't handle the back and forth of "who do you love/choose" so I took the motto of if you love something let it go, if it comes back it was meant to be. I packed my bags and moved to NC to live with my sister and job hunt. It was super hard on me (and Sarah). I got a job and about 2 months after me being away she couldn't take it anymore and came to see me. Long story short, 8 years later we are married and trying to have a baby.
My family had a lot of bitterness towards her, but my sisters now like her, my aunt and uncle love her, my niece and nephews adore her....then there is mom. Sometimes she gets along great with her and other times it feels like she is nit-picking on her constantly. Sarah loves my entire family. She had a rough relationship with her family that I helped her fix and now it's as though we have traded places.
We have been married 3 years but I didn't tell my mom about it until last Dec. because I knew she didn't approve. My sister encouraged me to be honest and open with mom about marriage and baby so I wouldn't catch her off guard and cause her to have another stroke.
I cried the whole time telling her because I could see she was angry/upset/uncomfortable. I told her my fear that she wouldn't love our child and that she would push us away. She assured me while she doesn't honor our marriage, she will love our child as her grand baby even though Sarah will be having it since we are trying to get my PCOS under control.
When we lost our first and I told her she just said "I'll be praying." Then after that she never asked or if I bring up anything about trying, she changes the subject. I miss my mom. I miss being able to tell her everything and feel that love and connection. We still have it as long as it is nothing baby related. Makes me worried for the holidays. I really miss my mom.
10 medicated IUI's (3 with injectables).
IUI #1 (medicated) Jan. 2013-BFP!!!!- Beta's didn't double, MTX shot for possible ectopic.
8 IUI's between April 13-April 14 = BFN
IUI #10 and final before IVF, injectables May 2014- BFP!!!! TWINS!!!!
7 week ultrasound showed 2 wonderful heartbeats!
8 weeks to the ER with vaginal bleeding while on vacations! Diagnosed SubChorionic Hemorrhage. Babies are both great.
9 week ultrasound showed both babies are still great.
Re: Parent venting
Queer coupled and having a BABY with the love of my life! Love my life and wouldn't have it any other way!
First IUI 1/22/2013 BFN: 2/7/2013, Second IUI 2/21/2013 BFN: 3/9/2013, Third IUI 4/23/2013 BFN: 5/8/2013, Fourth IUI 5/24/2013 BFN: 6/7/2013, Fifth IUI 6/24/2013 BFN: 7/8/2013
C began IUI's
7/23/2013 C's first IUI BFN, 8/21/2013 C's second IUI BFN , Took a break in September and October, 11/05/2013 C's 3rd IUI (TWW...we meet again...) BFN, Took off the month to switch to an RE. 01/01/2014 C's 4th IUI...BFP!!!!!!!! Beta #1- 17, Beta #2- 34, Beta #3-140.... 6W Ultra-Sound Reveals nothing in Gestation Sack... Natural M/C at 7W, 2/3/2014
03/21/2014 IUI #10...BFP!!! Beta #1- 48, Beta #2- 416, Beta #3- 1018. GROW BABY GROW!!!
1st Ultrasound 4/22/2014 Baby Squints is PERFECT! Measuring at 6w2d with a heartbeat of 129. EDD: 12/12/14.
Ultrasound at 18 weeks on 7/14/2014. Baby is healthy and growing just as she should!
Check out my blog at: http://journeytoparenthoodandmakingmilk.blogspot.com/