Anger and bitterness

jess123456

Hey ladies,

Since my recent fifth loss the anger and bitterness has come back. It was really bad after losing our daughter last year but it is back and I am so bitter and find myself rolling my eyes at the most ridiculous things that people say. For example, I saw someone say something on Facebook that was about her seeing her child sick with a cold and she mentioned that it was the most awful feeling. I immediately threw my phone down thinking, what I would do to get to cuddle and sooth my baby and have a cold be the biggest problem! I know it's ridiculous because I don't personally hold anything against her and having a child with a cold is maybe hard but I am just in a really bad place and can't seem to get out of it. I have called a therapist to hopefully get back on track with therapy but is there anything that you ladies do to help with your anger and bitterness and frustration in a healthier way? Thanks as always and sorry for the downer post.

AJCagle82

I punch a punching bag. I know it sounds weird, but sometimes I get so mad that I want to hit something. The punching bag or mitts gives me an outlet without actually hitting someone or going off on them. I can channel that anger and frustration into something that makes me feel better and without hurting myself or someone else. Relaxation stuff like yoga doesn't work for this anger. Although I enjoy yoga, there is nothing like wailing on something as hard as you can. 

I'm sorry you're going through this and so many times. It just isn't right. If it makes you feel any better, I flipped off my computer the other day because a girl I'm "friends" with announced her pregnancy. Not my best moment. It isn't that I'm not happy for her and God knows I don't want anyone to experience what we have, I'm just angry. 

bunnybun4

wish I had some good advice for you...sometimes the anger is so consuming.  I honestly think that the anger is the worst part of all of this.  I can handle being sad...being sad is almost bittersweet...but the anger is just plain terrible.  I hate being angry at people because they have a healthy child...I hate that people don't get what it is like to continuously lose children.  ((hugs))  I hope your anger passes soon and you find some peace.

princezjk

I was just talking about my anger with my therapist. It seems to be the most constant emotion in my grief. She talked to me about the importance of "feeling" and "experiencing" my anger and not just trying to push it aside or get through it. I like AJCagle82's idea of hitting something. I myself am still trying to figure out what release will work for me. I am thinking some scream therapy might be in order. I am so sorry you have to deal with any of this and I hope your therapist will be able to provide you with some guidance. (((Hugs)))

stefuge

As PP have said, hitting something, or screaming, or exercise of some sort might help. I also think the therapy is a great idea. I'm so sorry!

kz's_girlygirl

I am so so sorry for each of your losses, and wish that things were different!  Whenever I am feeling anger, I just have to be loud.  Loud music, loud screaming, loud banging drawers/cabinets and throwing sh*t all over the house in frustration.  Probably not the more productive displays of emotion, but it is what it is. 

I joined a monthly infertility and loss support group before my loss (when I was *just* infertile) and am going to get myself back to that. 

I hope seeking therapy helps you find an outlet! In the meantime, Ill be thinking of you