Shower Invite dilema- at least in my mind ;P — The Bump
March 2014 Moms

Shower Invite dilema- at least in my mind ;P

Ok so I know a lot of ladies but I don't know them so well that I think they would come to my shower. We are doing a co-ed shower so all are invited if they want to come. However where do I stop the list and with who...I am friends with some that ask how my pregnancy is going everytime they see me but I don't "hang" out with them, our kids were in scouts together so we have had some really fun evenings...but do they want to come?? Do I just invite everyone I know and am semi friends with or do I make a list and stick to it and not worry about others. Do I invite that aunt that lives 5 miles from me but never calls me or returns my calls?? I am so confused and I feel bad inviting people b/c I don't want them to feel obligated to come but at the same time I don't want someone to feel left out...so like I said in my mind I know I am over analyzing this but who do I ask and who do I leave out??? Would it be bad to have a general post on FB "hey if you want to come send me your address?" or is that not personal enough and therefore rude? Any help/advice would be great!!

 

Re: Shower Invite dilema- at least in my mind ;P

  • Are you throwing the shower?
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  • There is a Baby Showers board under the 'specialty' section where a lot of these questions are discussed regularly. I'd suggest reading up there some; it seems you may be making quite a few faux pas in your planning before you even get to the guest list so it might help to do some reading.

  • No my best friend is and she says everyone loves baby showers and wants me to give her the names but there are some I am just not sure about. We are doing it at my house.

     

     

     

  • I would over invite / invite even the nearby Aunt because my mom is über excited and will want to invite the world, plus I also want to share the joy with anyone who decides to attend. However it's your home and you may have capacity issues to consider. Where I'm from, a lot of showers are held in church basements vs at a home to accommodate more people.

    On the other point I would never post the note on FB asking people to tell you if they want to come. No.


    pp is right..the shower board is a great place to start and read the threads first! Don't throw blood into the shark tank .. read the threads!
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  • Oh, hey. Welcome to the board... 8-| Shower board for sure.

       
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    [Deleted User]
  • Thank you! I see the faux pas about the FB thing got it...If another faux pas is the co-ed part that was actually my hostesses idea...I have not really been to many if any baby showers and I didn't exactly have a normal one with my first he is 12.5 so I am not sure what all to expect or do. I have been looking through some of the shower board posts obviously, thank you for telling me about it but I have yet to run across advice on friends but not close friends. I do agree with the over inviting. Even the aunt, and don't get me wrong she is currently on the list......

     

  • Hello. I would trust your gut. Invite who you would like to invite. I gave my friend who's throwing a shower for me a list of 12 names, including family and that's with over-inviting people from out of town. :D


  • It's your baby shower, so as long as you, your husband and the person throwing the shower are on board - go about it however you like. I've been to plenty of co-ed showers with mixed groups (older ladies, young couples, etc.). Everyone's just there to celebrate the good news anyway, right? The best showers I've been to are the ones where all the guests are having a good time celebrating/socializing - not the ones where everything was done perfectly as per tradition.
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    jenerae1
  • edited October 2013
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    ceh789
  • Inviting someone you're not very close with screams gift grabby, even if that isn't your intention. Keep it to close friends and family only. 

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    ceh789
  • I say invite family, regardless of communication so there are no hard feelings. If you are on the fence about an acquaintance, then I say they are off the list. If you can't decide if they would want to be there, just assume that it is a no. (not that they would be offended to be invited, but it is just probably not necessary)
  • Thank you for the feedback...I really didn't think having a shower for my second child would be a faux pas...my first is 12 1/2 years old, I have nothing left from his birth. I honestly didn't plan on having another child but I got married 4 1/2 years ago and my husband has no children so we decided to have one together and this one is a girl.

     

  • @jenerae1 not having stuff from your previous child is not a reason to have a shower. The reason to have a shower is traditionally to celebrate becoming a mother, which you already are. Regardless, you're going to do what you're going to do; if you have a shower I recommend keeping it to very close friends and family.

    rockopera
  • ceh789 said:

    @jenerae1 not having stuff from your previous child is not a reason to have a shower. The reason to have a shower is traditionally to celebrate becoming a mother, which you already are. Regardless, you're going to do what you're going to do; if you have a shower I recommend keeping it to very close friends and family.


    So does this mean I shouldn't accept a shower because I've been a foster mother for 11years?

    I think with the gap between babies being so big and someone is offering to throw it for you go for it.

    I agree to invite family and close friends only.
    jenerae1
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