Feeling like a sucky mom

bermybabe68

It seems like all LO does is eat, sleep, poop and cry. She is 4 weeks tomorrow and I feel like I'm doing something wrong. She never gets tummy time, I don't play games with her, we don't go out of the house. It's not that I don't want to do these things with her, it's just that she either sleeps or screams which leaves no time for play/learning and fun stuff. I worry that I'm stunting her growth and that she gets no mental stimulation. Life revolves around consoling her and trying to get her back to sleep (she gets overtired so quickly). Anyone else in the same boat?

AppleMuffins

Me! I have the exact same thoughts and feelings. I was reading the thread about babies rolling over and feeling bad because my baby barely gets tummy time to even try it. I sometimes try to read to her or shake a rattle in front of her, but mostly there's not a lot of the interactive stuff and it makes me feel bad, like I'm going to stunt her development. I work as a nanny and sometimes I feel like I'm a better nanny than a mom. I keep waiting for those first smiles and more eye contact or something so that I know she's bonding with me and that I'm doing a good job.

ajbook

My LO is 4w4d and she didn't stop her crazy fussiness or longer periods of awake time until right before 4 weeks. Up to that point I felt the same way. Hopefully it will change for you soon.

SweetPeaK26

Don't feel bad. Too much stimulation can be stressful for them too. For the fussiness, try to do more cuddling. Even if you get nothing done around the house, or don't get a shower etc. just spend a few days in bed or on the couch. Sometimes they just need that.

And remember, tummy time counts any time that they are awake and on their bellies, including laying on you! So, lay on the couch, lay LO on your chest/tummy and chat with them. 4 weeks is still really young to expect much interaction, but at 6 they may be ready to hold their heads up a bit more and look at you etc.

Another thing is that they may be bored. Put them on a blanket or boppy, back or belly, and tape a piece of white paper with some big bold black lines or shapes drawn on it. It's interesting to them, and builds their eye strength. Cures some boredom, and if you can get them on their bellies to do it, helps with tummy time/ neck muscles!

blinnea23

DD is now 6.5 weeks and she is just now tolerating tummy time a little better. She still only does about 5 minutes at a time, so I'll try several times a day. She probably get 20-30 minutes total a day including the time I have her lay on my belly.

jlp0528

Ugh I am feeling you on this one. I feel like I can't figure out her signals sometimes and were ebf and she gained slow the first few weeks and go back Friday but I don't know if she's gaining enough and she gets sleepy at the boobs but fussy if I pull her off even after a good 45 minutes between both sides. I'll try cuddling her and giving her a paci to soothe her and it doesn't seem to help. She'll push me and kick at me which makes me feel
Awful. I just don't know either but know you're not alone. She's 5 weeks tomorrow.

Honeyb416

I could have written this post myself a week ago...what a difference a few days make, especially in the world of newborns I've learned. It's natural to feel guilty and worried all the time but its also unnecessary most of the time. Enjoy your baby...don't fret. Suddenly at 5 weeks we are now getting true tummy time at a consistent time everyday...it only lasts 5-10 minutes but at least its starting to happen and I know it will improve. So it's right around the corner for ya,...for now hold your baby on your chest as tummy time and it'll be all good! You're a great mom...keep pluggin away.

Honeyb416

SweetPeaK26 said:

Too much stimulation can be stressful for them too. 

This is so true. Don't let em cry very long/don't force it. Start when they are calm. We start on his back for a minute and work on tracking objects...then tummy on Boppy, then flat on tummy and then the crying starts. I let him go for a minute because he gets so frustrated that's when he rolls over. I'll put him back on his tummy once to see if he rolls again, trying for the other direction and then call it quits.  Once a day makes me feel like I'm enhancing his development for now because 1 week ago I was in your shoes.

Juliebird8307

I felt the same way about my DD until last Friday. Right around when he turned 6 weeks, she started smiling and looking at her toys. We now have play time. I think 4 weeks is a little early for them to do that stuff, but I know I was expecting her to want to play and cuddle more at that time.

lmg423

My September baby is my 2nd and she has a completely different temperant than my first. I thought people were lying when they told me about how chill their babies were.

I was like you with my first. Things didn't get better until around 6 weeks and then by 3 months she was the dream baby. I know those first 6 weeks feel like an eternity but it's going to go so fast and you'll look back and barely remember this time. Do try your best to enjoy it. You're not stunting her growth by not doing all those things you mentioned. There will definitely be time for all that later too. I remember starting Gymboree classes with Ella at about 8 weeks and almost being in tears because I felt like we finally made it to the point I wanted to be at. Good luck!

Burrberrymum

Don't feel like a sucky mom, 4 weeks is still very young.. My daughter is 6.5 weeks and we don't go out much at all and we just stay in and she either naps, eats, or poops.. She is JUST starting to kind of "hangout with me" now, for maybe 10 or so minutes before she's ready to nurse back to sleep.. She doesn't like tummy time but I try to at least put her on her mat until she cries.. But our days aren't much more interesting than that and a bath..

ammiddleton3

LO is 6.5 weeks, and just yesterday I can tell a huge difference in his temperament. Pretty much if he wasn't eating or asleep he was crying! He still cries but not nearly as much as he did! He actually looks at me and smiles as of yesterday! He seems a lot more content! Hang in there! It gets better, like pp wrote every day makes a difference!

jlp0528

ammiddleton3 said:

LO is 6.5 weeks, and just yesterday I can tell a huge difference in his temperament. Pretty much if he wasn't eating or asleep he was crying! He still cries but not nearly as much as he did! He actually looks at me and smiles as of yesterday! He seems a lot more content! Hang in there! It gets better, like pp wrote every day makes a difference!

You give me hope !!!!

kje120

Don't be so hard on yourself. She's only 4 weeks old and is still new and settling into a routine.  It's hard in those early days.  You aren't messing her up by not stimulating her right now. She might just need cuddling and calmness right now and there will be plenty of time for playing and stimulating in the coming weeks and months.  You're doing just fine!

bermybabe68

Thanks everyone! You've made me feel a lot better about it all