Ladies on their 2nd+ go around...

ebox322

I know it's way early but let's talk showers....

I had one for my son, he was my first baby and it was great and all (and especially a blessing with all the stuff!) I think they're cute and fun, hate all the attention on me tho!

I don't know if I think 2nd showers are obnoxious or not. I think every baby should be recognized as such an amazing life event!

My mom brought it up the other day like "if it's a girl do we have another shower? " and I was like uhhhh I don't know, do we?!

What do you think? Are you having another?

sthomas1222

I won't be having another shower unless someone surprises me with one. We're team green this time. I will be having a blessingway towards the end of the pregnancy so we will be welcoming this LO into the world in a very different & special way.

bcnoelle

I won't be planning or expecting a shower, but will be grateful if someone puts together a smaller 'sprinkle'. I won't be registering or expecting anything in particular, I was just invited to a sprinkle for a friend and we are going out to dinner. No info was relayed about any registry. I'm not sure if we are all paying our own way, but I am assuming we may be. I will probably bring a box of diapers and a boy outfit. Whether its fair or not, I think the closer your kids are in age- the less likely people are going to expect you to have a 2nd shower.

eghulse

I'm not opposed to subsequent showers, though I know that's a super no-no around here.  I agree that every baby should be celebrated somehow.  However, I won't expect anyone to plan one, if they want to, though, great. 

busterbeagle

No second shower for me. My family and friends are pretty traditional when it comes to that. Plus I can't imagine what I would possibly need.

ckandi007

I already have a friend who's planning a "sprinkle" regardless if I have another boy. If no one was planning one, I wouldn't have cared, but since she volunteered, I won't object I don't plan on advertising any sort of registry though since we don't really need anything aside from clothes (I gave my boy's clothes to a friend and if it's a girl, we'll need to shop anyway).

jntaylor11

I'm not opposed to celebrating subsequent babies, especially if it's a different gender but I'm not expecting one.

peachysweet4

I was already offered a sprinkle by a friend. All of my friends here do them for 2+ babies for each other.

ebox322

This "sprinkle" is so adorable even if its just for the word sprinkle. I've never heard of that before

CamrynnsMommy

I'm am the in the minority on showers being only for the first child, I think every baby should be celebrated.

That being said, I will not be having another shower, I just hate having attention on me.

If you have people willing to throw one for you, then go for it.

ebox322

CamrynnsMommy said:

I'm am the in the minority on showers being only for the first child, I think every baby should be celebrated.

That being said, I will not be having another shower, I just hate having attention on me.

If you have people willing to throw one for you, then go for it.

Yes! This!

rainydayluck

I think subsequent showers are gift grabby. Unless the baby and your last kid are significantly far apart (just threw one for a friend who's youngest is 15). I certainly am not expecting nor do I want one.

meli1025

mattsgirl2004 said:

My last baby shower was over 14 years ago for DS, so I'm not sure how a baby shower for this one works as far as etiquette goes.  Does it matter that so much time has gone by since having my son as far as having another shower?  I definitely don't want to be tacky or seem gift grabby and obviously I have no plans of throwing myself one. 

Anyhow, my SIL asked me the other day that when the time comes she would like to throw me one.  I'm not sure I'm comfortable with a traditional shower, but I told her that maybe a baby celebration with close friends and family would be more suitable.  Just a get together with close friends and family to celebrate this new baby. Is this a proper thing to do? There's still plenty of time to decide for sure, so I just told her "maybe." 

I definitely think after 14 years you should have a full on shower, no issues there. I would not expect another shower and still have all of my gender neutral stuff from DS. Showers are for showering the mom to be with gifts for her new baby, I don't think one should make people feel obligated to buy more gifts within only a few years of just having a shower for a previous baby.

Ziegeficker

I don't plan on having one and would probably turn down the offer should it come up. But I don't expect it will.

Storrmys

I'm hoping to have a shower since my last one was 21 years ago .... Lol may be my daughter should throw me one for this baby ... That would be a different spin on things..

Junebug060609

I'm long distance, so there won't be a second shower. Immediate family might send stuff though...and it will be gladly accepted.

dollface777

If i have another girl, I wouldn't want a shower or sprinkle or anything. But if I have a boy, it would be nice to have a small get together with some clothes and diapers and stuff. But if no one offers to throw one for me, I'm not going to beg for one. I'll just hit some consignment store sales or something.

pistolpackinmomma

You could do a diaper and food shower where people being either a pack of diapers or a freezer meal for after baby is born so there isn't the awkwardness of a traditional shower and more of a casual gathering.

chillypenguin

I am not having one because my two will be around 20 months apart. I am going to make a registry more for myself (and if our parents want ideas at Christmas or something), but I am not going to tell others about it. I could see my work doing a little something though, I certainly don't expect it and would prefer not to, but if they choose to it will probably be a surprise so I couldn't stop it anyway.

MrsT2008

I'm assuming no but I wouldn't put it past my mom and/or MIL to do a small sprinkle lunch or something.
ETA:  I would never let them include registry information if they did something.  I have a small (private) one to keep a list/get the completion discount but I will not be advertising that I have it.

TheBeeCharmer

I had a girl first then a boy. My mom and sister invited my aunts and grandma over and they each brought me something little. It was nice to get the boy stuff. Everyone who came was very close family and wanted to bring something. I would not do an actual second shower though. 

dragossoul84

Showers are not to celebrate the baby they are to shower the mother with gifts to welcome her into motherhood. You could always host a meet the baby party after you give birth I prefer to have a party after I gave birth any way because then I know when people were coming over none of this poppin in nonsense

jenb_99

All my friends have had showers for 2nd+ babies. They're just smaller and more casual. No one thinks anything of it. In fact, it would be more unusual for someone in my circle not to have one.

Sunshine1116

I honestly thought the hostility towards 2nd showers on here were a little much, until I received an invitation to one and it had 2 registries listed. I immediately gave it the side eye, and before telling my DH my thoughts asked what he thought and he said it was odd, so I knew I wasn't just swayed by the bump views. So I would say if you do have a celebration for your 2nd, registries should be left off. I'm not against the sprinkles, but including the registry felt extremely gift grabby to me.

MissLadyTay

No. I would be mortified asking for more presents.

MCH77

I'm not expecting anything from my family/friends, but I guess you never know.

I would be surprised if work did a little something. I mean small.... Donuts/$50 gift. Small, but much appreciated.

TecheB

I didn't have a shower for my first. I was far from home and had just moved an knew no one. This time I would love a shower. I'm in a mommy group and we have a small one for every baby we welcome into the group.

lv2011

mattsgirl2004 said:

My last baby shower was over 14 years ago for DS, so I'm not sure how a baby shower for this one works as far as etiquette goes.  Does it matter that so much time has gone by since having my son as far as having another shower?  I definitely don't want to be tacky or seem gift grabby and obviously I have no plans of throwing myself one. 

Anyhow, my SIL asked me the other day that when the time comes she would like to throw me one.  I'm not sure I'm comfortable with a traditional shower, but I told her that maybe a baby celebration with close friends and family would be more suitable.  Just a get together with close friends and family to celebrate this new baby. Is this a proper thing to do? There's still plenty of time to decide for sure, so I just told her "maybe." 

I'm kind of in the same boat. My DD will be 11 by the time this LO comes, and this will be my DH's first child. His family is pretty insistent that they throw one for us, though I can't stand "traditional" showers, either. We certainly need everything a 1st time mom would need, so we will register- they've already said we need to. I think they're still mad that I refused a wedding shower. If I have a say, though, it'll not be a "women-only" affair. I'd like to have bbq or something similar that feels more like a regular family get-together. The more relaxed and casual, the better!

runningyogimama

I didn't read the other responses, but no, no, and no. Baby showers are to welcome a mother to motherhood. You only get one.

runningyogimama

ErBear1010 said:

I know a girl who had a boy who passed a few months after he was born. She got pregnant less than a year later with a girl. Had a full blown, huge shower. Less than a year later...pregnant with a boy....full huge shower again. THAT is a bit much.

This is actually one case I would make an exception for and not judge.

Eta: Wait, misread that. Never mind. I thought the first shower was the baby who passed away and then she had one for the second.

dakota01

I thought etiquette was if your children are 5+ years apart it was okay to have a second shower- maybe not a big old affair like your first. Lot's of ppl have sip and see showers around here. These are for after baby is born, friends can come over and bring gifts (if they want) and have a small lunch or cake & tea. It lets everyone have a chance to see your little one- and also to get all those visits over at once since you're exhausted those first few weeks. I think registering for a second shower (close in age) is unnecessary- what else could you possible need? Clothes are the least of my concerns when it comes to baby

lv2011

JmeJme said:

I didn't read the other responses, but no, no, and no. Baby showers are to welcome a mother to motherhood. You only get one.

Showers should be to welcome a couple into familyhood. Dad's should be included, too. And no 1st time father should be excluded because his wife had a previous child. That side of the family is just as important as the "mom" side.

Empireceo

I think second showers are gift grabby and obnoxious. A shower is to welcome a woman into motherhood. For the people who say it's to celebrate a baby, how many parties do you go to where the guest of honor is not in attendance? Anyone who wants to buy the baby a gift will, you don't need a party.

LilyGracesMommy

I did not have a second shower for DS, I do agree that every baby should be celebrated but not with a shower. 1 for your first pregnancy, done.

I am thinking about doing a "sip and see" after baby is born... But will explicitly state no gifts please, as it will be more about meeting the new baby.

Besides close friends and family will still buy gifts, so second and third babies will not be left out, trust me.

Any big ticket items that I want, I will definitely buy myself, after number one I would never expect others to purchase or chip in even (I.e. With DS I bought a new double stroller)

That's just my opinion... Do what feels right for you and your friends/family.

I'm sure you will hear many differing views, this can be super controversial on the bump

Themetastic

They are kind of frowned upon here, unless there is a huge age difference between the 2.

DH didn't know this and asked when ours might be.. I told him that we will not have one.  He actually meant a sprinkle though.  I dunno, if we have another boy, we really need nothing.. it is only if we have a girl will be need some things (clothes, mainly) so I wouldn't be opposed to a small sprinkle. But I am done with the 100 people shower thing.

ehowa499

I'm throwing one for my SIL. She is pregnant with her 2nd, but her first child is older and she didn't have a shower. She recently moved out of state and I think she feels pretty isolated from family and friends, so I think it will be a great way to give her love and support.

kb2bkk

We won't be having a second shower regardless of sex.  The second baby will be plenty celebrated, we don't need a shower to do that.  

danabsd

No, they're tacky.

christieep

I won't be having another shower.  If one is offered I will decline.  DH and I will probably have a cookout after the baby is born, but we absolutely do not expect (or want) gifts.  We did the same thing a few weeks after our son was born also, kind of a meet the baby party.

honey740

I will not be having another. I did a registry for the completion discount

RickiLea25

Storrmys said:

I'm hoping to have a shower since my last one was 21 years ago .... Lol may be my daughter should throw me one for this baby ... That would be a different spin on things..

My mother had my youngest brother 4 years ago after 20 years, I was 22!! I threw her a shower and she got a lot of things she needed!