I have been stalking this board a bit while I have continued to battle myself over being one and done.
My daughter is 3 1/2 and I always thought I wanted two. DH has been a little more on the fence about it: not wild about having another, but not upset if it happens either. I knew that if I had another, I'd want at least three years between them. I am 32 and DH is 40, so I think the older we get the more on the fence we are, but still not a dealbreaker. I loved the infant and toddler stage, and there are things that I love about the preschool age, but some things I could do without. I'm really not sure if I want another or not, and I'm not expecting this board to influence me one way or another, but just need to express this.
Everytime one of my friends gets pregnant, I feel that pang of envy. I love being around babies and would love to have a baby, but at the same time I don't feel like someone is "missing" from my family. I had a great pregnancy and delivery and wouldn't mind experiencing it again. However, I also love that I get one-on-one time with my daughter and pooling all my resources toward her. I think she is terrific and why mess with perfection? I haven't talked to either of our families about this, but I'm surrounded by families with two or more kids. I wouldn't have any comraderie if we are one-and-done, and it sounds like that will be hard, as I hear a lot of (typically false) comments about one-and-done. The worst was "You aren't really a parent until you have more than one child." WHAT??? My parents came from large families and have two kids. DH comes from a blended family, but has one sister who won't have kids. I'm not sure my sister will have kids either, but growing up I had tons of cousins and great, memorable holiday get togethers. I'm a bit sad that my daughter won't have that, whether we have another or not. I really value family, my husband values extended family, but didn't have a great experience with his immediate family.
I almost wish this decision could be made for me! Whether that was secondary infertility or a happy accident, I think I'd be fine either way. Does anyone else feel that way? In fact, I felt I was ready to be pregnant with our first when I decided that either with a child or without, I'd live a happy life.
January OAD Siggy Challenge: Creative Snow Sculptures