Bedsharing Logistics Questions

MamaInMN

Ok, this feels so silly but we just can't seem to get bedsharing right.  Every time we do it, both DH and I end up losing sleep. I love the idea of it in theory because we currently get up several times throughout the night to soothe LO back to sleep.

So some questions for you:

1.  LO's grunting wakes me up a lot (she's 6.5 weeks old).  Did you find that you got used to all the noise?  If it did keep you up at first, how long did it take for you to get acclimated?

2.  I know no covers above the waist but I am a BIG snuggler - I even used covers in the summer when it's hot.  What do other ladies do about this?  Just wear tons of layers?  I know it's so dumb but I just don't feel cozy and have trouble falling asleep.

3.  This is the biggest one for both DH and I - if LO is in the middle, can you flip over and turn your back to her?  It seems unsafe, but otherwise we both get so stiff sleeping on the same side and in the same position for hours.  

If we can't figure out bedsharing, I guess it's not the end of the world because I can't nurse her laying down anyway so I still have to get up.  But it just seems so cozy in theory and convenient for the nights when she's a little fussier than usual.

Thanks for any tips!

bullybutt

This really doesn't answer any of your questions, but just giving another option.  I ended up sleeping with DS (while he nursed) on a Boppy pillow.  We also had a Rock N Play right next to the bed that I could check on him, at arms reach. He slept in that until 4 months. If you are worried about LO being in the middle. I would recommend getting a bedrail that you can keep the baby in between you and it. That allowed me more freedom to roll over and not have to worry about SO bumping into DS.

PhieryBFly

I love the title of this post and how you wrote it; it could have been me! Anyhow, I had a lot of the same problems. I switched to soft, long sleeve pjs and that helped a lot for the snuggling/keeping the chill off issue (still took a week to get used to). I occasionally sleep with my back to my DD but it makes me nervous and DH actually sleeps in the guest bedroom (mostly because he takes ambian and I'm not letting someone that impaired in bed with a baby). For the grunting, it a) takes getting used to, b) I used a humidifier which produces some white noise. The little bit of white noise helps cover a lot of odd sounds. Also, when I just could not get comfy co sleeping, I put my king mattress on the floor and her crib mattress right next to it so we weren't quite in the same bed but close. A pool noodle under the sheet kept her from rolling out the side. A side benefit to this was that she got used to crib mattress so I can switch her to a crib pretty easily if I need to. I hope all this helps and please pardon the wall of text (iPad post).

ncbelle

I was never bothered by baby noises...don't know why though! I also love snuggling under covers. I found it helped to put a pillow behind me and to wear a fitted long sleeve shirt if it was cold. On the flipping, baby should never be beside dad and mom should always face baby. Having the pillow behind me was helpful so I could shift my weight and not be in the same position but still keep baby on my side facing me.

musicalmama5

I had a lot of those same issues when my DS was that age, which prompted us to stop bedsharing at that time. He was also a pretty good crib sleeper so it wasn't a big deal. However, once the 4 month wakeful period hit, bedsharing saved me. :P He was a bit bigger by that point so I feel like a lot of the logistics worked out naturally at that point. 

Sorry that I don't have a lot of real advice... Just wanted to let you know I was in that boat!

PipSqueak0313

There were many nights when ds2 was a newborn that I slept with him on my chest -- even now, sometimes I will  put him on my chest so that I can roll off of my side....I don't know if that is a safe place for him or not but it has worked for us since he doesn't even attempt to roll off of my chest.

On a side note, I was sleeping with ds next to me with no hands holding him and my mom walked in to wake me up.  As she stood on my side of the bed, near the foot of the bed, ds started to roll away from me slightly.  Even in my sleepy state, my hand came down to stop ds from rolling off the bed before hers did because I had felt him move before she saw him move.

Learntoswim18

1. I found that my LO doesn't grunt as much as he used to (he's now 9weeks). He used to be really grunty in the mornings as he passed a lot of gas, but I think he's grown out of this. When he gets restless and grunty now I simply roll onto my back and place him on my chest to sleep (also works great at extending his morning wake up time!

2. I'm a snuggler too and it's hot where I'm from. I wear long cotton pajama pants and then have the blankets up to my waist. I sleep topless for ease of feeding.

3. As someone previously said baby in the middle is a no-no, so we have a crib side carred to the bed to give extra space and stop LO falling out since he's technically sleeping on our mattress. I alternate from laying on my side and laying on my back if my side becomes too uncomfortable (but strangely this doesn't happen too often)

MamaInMN

Thanks all for the advice! Unfortunately we don't even have room in our bedroom to put the bassinet by the side of our bed.  And we have a large dog so bed on the floor is out too.  I'll have to talk to DH about the bedrail though...

@musicalmama5 - thanks for that!  I know it's silly but I just keep thinking we should be able to figure it out.  LO is really grunty at night and wakes herself up, needing to be soothed a LOT...I keep thinking bedsharing SHOULD be the answer but it's just not working well for us.

@Learntoswim18 - it's a huge relief that there might be an end to the grunting