My parents blended family

SNBelland

My parents got divorced the day before my wedding and now two years later both have started dating. My mom's boyfriend and his two daughters (10 and 13) are amazing and I love them. On the other hand my dad's girlfriend is not very nice to us or my dad for that matter. My dad and his gf are always breaking g up.She told me yesterday at my grandma's wake that I shouldn't be feeding my ten month old puffs because he's already predisposed to obesity. I'm a size 8 and my DH is a bit on the bigger size. How do I first tell her to mind her own business and second invite my dad and my mom's new family without her to E's first birthday at a hotel? My dad knows my feelings about her and I'm pretty sure he misses my mom still. Please help!

SNBelland

Sorry I know I don't normally post here.

Littlejen22

You don't. You can try to have an honest non-attacking conversation about her with your Dad and ask him for advise or to help deal with her but if you invite your Dad and your Mom's boyfriend you are stuck. You can tell your Dad that if he brings her that you expect her to be nice.

sweetie0228

For the unwanted advice, you will get that from strangers to "well meaning" family.  I handle them all the same.  "i'll take that into consideration" or "My pediatrician is fully supporting _____________ , but I'll run that by him"

Then move on and never think about it again.

 

For the invitation, if they are at a place where they are together you will have to invite her.

Wahoo

When she gives you advice "Thanks, I have it under control."

As far as the party, you really are stuck if you are inviting your mom's BF.  Maybe you will get lucky and they will break up before the birthday!

twister22

sweetie0228 said:

For the unwanted advice, you will get that from strangers to "well meaning" family.  I handle them all the same.  "i'll take that into consideration" or "My pediatrician is fully supporting _____________ , but I'll run that by him"

I agree with the bold for handling the unwanted advice.

As far as the birthday party - honestly, if I were in your shoes, I would flat out tell my dad that his GF has unacceptable behavior, and that I don't want to deal with her at my kid's 1st birthday. My dad would either make his GF get her behavior in check and play nice at the party, or he would just make up an excuse to her as to why she doesn't need to go, and then come to his grandkid's 1st birthday party, as he wouldn't miss it. However, I don't know what type of relationship you have with your dad.