Interactions With Adults

sschwege

DD has always enjoyed socializing with both kids and adults.  She still loves playing with other kids and talking/playing with other adults she knows. Just recently she has started turning her head away if an adult she doesn't know or one she doesn't know well talks to her.  For example the other day one of our neighbors complimented DD on her dress.  She had a small smile on her face, but turned her head to the side like she was trying to hide and even when I said, "What do you say?" she wouldn't say 'thank you'.  She only recently started doing this, is it typical for there to be such a change almost over night like this?

sschwege

Also is there anything I should be doing/ not doing?

meg1974

My DD has always been that way, so I can't really comment too much on this. It's always tough to decide whether I should force her to respond for fear of people thinking she's impolite or just allow her to be herself, knowing that being an introvert is a perfectly normal personality trait. I usually gently suggest that she respond, and if she doesn't I leave it alone.

In your case, I'm wondering if there have been any changes in her life lately. Has she started school, or changed schedules at school? Does she have a new teacher? Do you have new friends you have been spending more time with? All of those things might make her feel a little different and react in a different way. Either way, it seems normal to me and I wouldn't push it. I would just encourage her to talk about the way she feels. 

sschwege

meg1974 said:

My DD has always been that way, so I can't really comment too much on this. It's always tough to decide whether I should force her to respond for fear of people thinking she's impolite or just allow her to be herself, knowing that being an introvert is a perfectly normal personality trait. I usually gently suggest that she respond, and if she doesn't I leave it alone.

In your case, I'm wondering if there have been any changes in her life lately. Has she started school, or changed schedules at school? Does she have a new teacher? Do you have new friends you have been spending more time with? All of those things might make her feel a little different and react in a different way. Either way, it seems normal to me and I wouldn't push it. I would just encourage her to talk about the way she feels. 

Yes, there have been some changes.  She potty trained in April and I also started watching a new baby in our home, moved to a big kid bed in June, switched her seat to FF in September, started ballet which is her first separation class.  Add in having a new sibling this past December who just started crawling, there's a lot going on.  To be honest I'm surprised she is handling it as well as she is!   I have also noticed she started biting her finger nails and putting toys in her mouth again, so I think this is all related.  Thanks for your insight!

neverblushed

I noticed that my kids went through a few stages of increased shyness or stranger anxiety as they grew through the toddler and preschool years.  It's like they go through a social growth spurt where they're more aware that they are expected to interact independently with unknown adults... but they are easily overwhelmed by this task.  So they just turn away, where a younger child might respond to any old adult who throws out a compliment without having such an emotional reaction to the situation.

Don't make a big deal out of it because she'll likely grow out of this stage in time.  I found that forcing my kids just made them more uncomfortable next time.

A way to handle the situation you described might be to say to your child, "Did you hear that this nice lady complimented you on your dress?  You did?  It's polite to say 'thank you' in this situation.  Can you do that or are you feeling shy today?  No.  Can I thank her for you?  I can?  Okay.  I'll say it for you."