Lack of breastfeeding support

babyo52

I was talking to my mom over the weekend about how LO isn't STTN anymore and up about 3 times a night. She suggested that stop nursing becuase "she has gotten all the goodies she needs" Wow mom, thanks for all the support. My H also said that I should stop nursing because "formula is just easier" he is constantly trying to give LO a formula bottle. He has started making remarks about how long it takes LO to nurse and to just give a bottle in the car. Has anyone else gotten push back from family about nursing? I love nursing LO and don't want to give it up but am tired of the comments and don't know how to tell them to back off and mind there own business!

bowman958

Do you pump at all? Sometimes it is easier and faster to have a bottle available, but that doesn't mean you have to give up nursing, especially when you enjoy it. Your H might feel more involved too if he could give LO a bottle every once in a while. ETA: that stinks they aren't being more supportive.

drhibbard

Stick to your guns if it's important to you.  Tell them formula feeding may be easier to them:  don't need privacy or 'support' and that's kinda crappy to do to you, but you think the convenience of just whipping out the boob is actually easier for you.

surpriseaddition

I've had a lot of pushback from DH this time around, especially now with him wanting to introducing solids. With my first 2 he really supported me, but I almost think he thinks I can't make enough milk or something cause I'm old (43). I just tell him no, I'm nursing and she's gaining weight just fine. He doesn't like my answer but I feel it's really my decision. LO is thriving, and my pedi is thrilled with her...if that's the same in your case, that's all I'd say and ignore them. I've also been pumping more so we can have a bottle on hand that he can give her if she's fussy, or if we're going out somewhere, and that has helped.

jayro10

I agree with @2010bride2be. My heart goes out to her and all the other mamas who have to take out a second mortgage just to buy the formula their babies need.
Next time people give you shit about BFing, remind them that formula definitely isn't always easier. Use all PPs reasons. Tell them to STFU and then for good measure, maybe whip out your boob and spray them in the eye with breastmilk. Kinda like gettin' someone with a squirt gun.

flyliceandcoffee

As someone who does both formula and BM, I tend to find that whipping out the boob is sooo much easier than getting a bottle ready in public, especially when she's screaming for food and I have to put formula in a bottle and get it all ready one handed. Does your LO get bottles? Maybe what you can do is put some BM in a bottle for when you are out of the house so your husband can give the bottle in the car, but your LO is still getting BM?

PumpkinAndThePeanut

I know my parents think /thought I should throw in the towel and FF. But I expressed to them how much BFing meant to me, and luckily they kept their opinions to themselves. And I just don't care what they think (on the topic of feeding my babies), to be honest. Hang in there if it's important to you and I hope you can find support elsewhere (a BFing FB group, here on TB, a IRL friend, etc.)

pnutg

Keep doing what you're doing! I had a lot of complications and stopped bfing at 10 weeks. I wish so badly I was still doing it. Sorry they're not more supportive.

Shoegal36

I hear you...my mother hasn't been supportive at all which is frustrating. She is constantly making comments. I've basically used her negativity to make me even more determined to breastfeed and prove to her that I can do it and that it can be convenient. My original goal was 6 months but I've decided to change it to a year. The little bit of spite just gives me the extra push I need! 

Edited typo

babyo52

I do make bottle for LO for DC when we go out and even at night so H can feed her. My mom and H have both said what @surpriseaddition said; that since she is not STTN anymore it must be because I am not producing enough. I pump at work so I can kind of guess how much she is getting when not in a bottle. She always seems satisfied when she is done. I think she is just going thru her 4 month sleep regression. Thanks for the support, I just need to stick to my guns and tell them to back off!

jayro10

lilash2426 said:

I do make bottle for LO for DC when we go out and even at night so H can feed her. My mom and H have both said what @surpriseaddition said; that since she is not STTN anymore it must be because I am not producing enough. I pump at work so I can kind of guess how much she is getting when not in a bottle. She always seems satisfied when she is done. I think she is just going thru her 4 month sleep regression. Thanks for the support, I just need to stick to my guns and tell them to back off!

My LO has always been EBF and has only STTN one time. I'm not stressin' about it. I know she will do it consistently when she's ready. Kindly remind the haters that breastmilk digests faster than formula; hence the need for more frequent feedings. Oh and my LO has not begun the 4 month sleep regression yet, so I know that's not the reason the doesn't STTN. Girl just gets hungry!

amcongdon

Tell them to back off and keep nursing if you enjoy it and want to keep going. I've gotten tons of push back from pretty much everyone but my own mom. My dad gets really uncomfortable and makes rude comments when we are with them and I have to nurse S. My MIL tells me I feel him too often and that he's going to be a fat moose. My SIL tells me thinking I'm feeding him too often (for the record it's usually 7x in 24 hours). And DH tells me all the time how formula would be easier bc that's what they did with his first son. I told them all to basically go to hell and that I was going to keep nursing my son because I enjoy it, he's super healthy, and there is no reason for us to stop. Until maybe the last week S didn't sleep through the night so there are plenty of BF babies who don't sleep through the night. If you ever need more support the BF board on here is fabulous as well! They have gotten me through some rough patches.

MommyStemple

Just for the record I bf my son except for one formula bottle a day because it helps him poop and if he gets the formula bottle closest to bed he's up twice as much as if he nurses.

blush64

That would make me angry. My mom is really unsupportive this time around. She is convinced I am starving my baby because she is smaller than my sons were at her age. They were also ebf. For the record she is not thin, my mom is just odd. I let her talk on and on and do what I want. It annoys me a lot but I can't argue any more. She won't change.

If my husband started I would be tempted to nurse longer the more he complained. I agree with PP who would tell all the complainers to go to hell.

There is nothing easier, especially in public, than to pull up my shirt, unclip my bra and feed my baby. No supplies, no heating, no bottle bag or bottle to prepare or carry. It's always the right temperature and amount.

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SandiaPinaMama

Dude. I'll give you support! That would seriously anger me.

schawla27

I feel your pain! I have been hearing the same thing from my MIL and even my mother! I have no clue why! T is gaining weight and is in the 95th percentile for height and weight, clearly he isn't starving from my milk! I just nod my head and let it go in one ear and out the other! It is very frustrating though. Hang in there, you are her mommy, do what you feel is best!

B27

Your doing an awesome job mama, and I am sorry your not getting the support you so deserve!

Schell2013

Sorry you have no support but I support you 100%. You should do as you feel, your doing a great job feeding your baby, who cares what they think. Bottles are a PITA I had to do them for DDs first week of life due to weight issues and its not the easy way out by any means.