Feeling very overwhelmed and defeated. Long post. — The Bump

Feeling very overwhelmed and defeated. Long post.

So we went for our final growth scan yesterday. Feeling really discouraged and defeated. I am currently 37 weeks 4 days. My dd is September 23rd. The doctors are pushing me to have a scheduled c-section, even though at first they were supportive of trying for a VBAC. My husband is supportive but doesn't see the VBAC happening and is pushing me towards the scheduled c-section. We went ahead and scheduled it even though I am really having second thoughts on it (I don't know if I scheduled it because I am ready for him to make his appearance because of being in so much pain and uncomfortable). Baby is currently weighing it at about 8lbs and his head is measuring 32cm. With my first which was 8 years ago, he was 9lb 4 oz, 22.5 and his head measured 35.5 cm. I went into labor on my own and was progressing pretty well only to have a c-section because the doctors said his head was not coming through. When he was born there were red marks on his forehead from trying to come through. Sorry for the long post but after my appointment yesterday I am just feeling very overwhelmed. I am at the point in my pregnancy where I am totally uncomfortable, a lot of pressure and pain. I have begun to have real contractions but they are totally sporadic. I am kind of hoping I go into labor on my own before the 20th because then I can see if I can do this vaginally which I really want to do. I guess I am posting in here for support. I am over emotional as it is, and you mama's understand how it feels when you are almost at the end. Baby is head down but on his side, and he seems to like his side because he has been there for about a month and half. I am just afraid if I go into this thinking I am going to have a vaginal to only be disappointed in myself. I think that is my biggest problem. I know its okay to have a c-section if you need to but I feel like I am missing something ya know. I am a woman I should be able to do this.
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Re: Feeling very overwhelmed and defeated. Long post.

  • I know how you feel emotionally about REALLY wanting to deliver vaginally.  I had a bit of depression after my first c-section because I felt less like a mom because I missed out on the labor experience all together (I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous).  My first daughter was breech so I had a scheduled c-section.  This baby is cooperative and head down but every doc appointment I have I am constantly reminded that if she measures too large on ultrasound, they won't let me attempt a VBAC.  I have my growth scan this Thursday.  

    I am sure though that the doctors are only looking out at what's best for you and your baby.  With your previous labor history the chances are higher of running into the same complications.  Did you ask your OB if you went into labor naturally before your scheduled c-section date, could you attempt VBAC?  I wish you the best of luck. 
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  • I have no advice, but I have a lot of the same worries and fears. DS head had been in the 99th percentile since birth. He would not decend. I'm scared this baby will be the same.

    Honestly, I would feel worse if I didn't try. I also just wish I was 100% ok with just going ahead with another csection. Best of luck anyway, keep us updated.
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  • I'm sorry you have such a shitty support system. If you really want to do this, you need to believe in yourself and advocate for yourself. Cancel your scheduled section (there's no need to have anything scheduled before your due date) and wait it out.

    Your previous baby was not large. On the bigger side of average? Yes. And your current baby will probably gain about another pound, so he/she will not be large, either. Also, keep in mind that those ultrasound measurements are just estimates and can be off by up to two pounds.

    Like pp, it was a sure thing for me. I was trying, I needed to try. I stood my ground and would've gone to 42 weeks before consenting to scheduled c/s, despite how incredibly uncomfortable I was. I had false labor starts with painful contractions four times. It didn't matter...I absolutely wouldn't have schedule a c/s just because I was uncomfortable and in pain. I was an emotional wreck...but I would've been much more of a wreck if I didn't at least get to try for a VBAC. I ended up having my 9lb VBAC baby at 40w2d. And I'm so glad that I stuck it out and advocated for myself.

    There's nothing wrong with RCS. If you can be just as happy going that route, maybe that's the way to go. But it doesn't sound like that's what you want, and if it's not, it's time to buck up, be strong, and battle through these last couple weeks. You can do it!
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  • If your LO had marks on his forehead, it sounds to me like he was in a bad position. My DD#1 had marks on her scalp, off to the side of the middle after my attempt with her. It made DH and i think she was malpositioned. I went on to give birth vaginally to two more babies.

    I hope you can advocate for yourself. Have a heart to heart with your DH and let him know you need his support in this.
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  • ACOG released a statement not long ago saying a "big baby" shouldn't be a reason to schedule a csection.  Those measurements are generally pretty off and not reliable.  My HUGE baby (according to my OB) was a vbac baby weighing in at 8lbs even. Your OB isn't even following the protocol of her own organization by scheduling a csection.  If the 20th rolls around and you don't want to go, then don't.  I'd cancel it personally.  I'd look into seeing if any student doulas want to take you on last minute too if you don't have a doula.  They can help you labor in positions that widen the pelvis more for baby's head too. 


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