- that my labor was so short! all of my friends who had had babies in the last month had 50+ hour labors and mine was 9.5 hours from the time my water broke to the time Jasper arrived
- that it didn't hurt more! i kept waiting for the contractions to go to a whole other level of pain, but they never really did. i also expected to disassociate more - but i remained lucid and clear headed the entire time.
- that i could feel physically when i had a productive contraction. i really felt my cervix open wider when i actively focused on relaxing and opening my cervix and embraced each contraction. this was much easier to do early on and i really think it helped to speed my labor up quite a bit.
- that at no point did i feel like i couldn't go on, that the pain was too much, that i needed pain medication or that i couldn't do it. the only time i wavered was when we had to transfer to the birth center. i yelled to my husband "we should've had a home birth!"
- that my body started to involuntarily push after just 6 hours of labor. i was so scared i was going to damage my cervix and cause it to swell and impact my ability to have a natural birth (as a friend had a couple years ago). this was actually the scariest part of the entire labor birth!
- that as soon as we got to the birth center and they checked me i had gone from 5-6cm to fully dilated in just over an hour while in transport
- and when they told me that i was dilated and could finally give into those pushing contractions i jumped up and got in the tub and went for it. no fear, no apprehension - it was all instinct and excitement. i also hadn't planned to have a water birth _at all_ but the tub seemed to be the best place. i knew in the water i could more easily relax all the muscles around my abdomen/back as well as my pelvic floor so that i could let baby descend.
- how much control i had during pushing as well as how short it seemed (pushed for an hour but felt like 15 minutes)
- that i tore at all. i was up, walking around and while sore, i wasn't in extreme pain. definitely shocked when the midwives examined me and told me that i had a 2nd degree tear. laying there while they stitched me up felt like it took SO long (really 30-40 mins) and i couldn't hold Jasper...it was really hard. definitely harder than any part of my labor.
- after jasper arrived and i reflected back on the birth i was surprised that i didn't use any of the myriad of laboring positions (ball, yoga, etc.) or tools (stool, ball, squats, etc) that i had researched and learned about. because baby was basically at station 0 from the start of labor, standing or any upright positions were too intense. i spent 95% of labor laying on my right side in bed.
- my husband and i were also surprised at how little he needed to do in the end. basically time contractions, call midwives when things got intense, be my cheerleader and keep me cool and hydrated. laboring so hard and fast had me HOT so he was constantly bringing me cool rags, frozen peas and cold drinks. and once i got to pushing in that tub full of hot water, i was sweating like crazy. he was there for the hour of pushing wiping my brow between contractions and putting ice cold rags and compresses on my back, neck and face as well as giving me water and coconut water.
postpartum i have been surprised at how sore i still am a week out from birth. it's definitely hard for me to sit (even in a comfy chair) for longer than 30 minutes. being horizontal/reclined all day, every day has been really hard, but i know that it's best to listen to my body and rest now will mean a faster recovery in the long term both for my tear and abdominal/pelvic floor recovery
A little late to the party, but I was surprised at:
-How fast everything went as a FTM. I kept reading about slow labors and was afraid that I would stall and have to fight off intervention. But I didn't even realize I had been in early labor all day until 10:50 pm when my water broke and everything kicked into high gear. DD was born 3.5 hours later.
-How manageable the contractions were. I was afraid I would be complaining and asking for an epidural, but I never did.
-How hard and painful the pushing was! I'm hoping next time I'll be more efficient at it, but that was the hardest part for me.
-How I did not even think of food when we were at the hospital. Before giving birth, I was fixated on eating and drinking during labor and protesting the hospital's ice chips policy, but once I was there I couldn't even fathom eating.
-How I didn't feel the need for my mom to be there. The plan was to have DH and my mom in the room, but my parents didn't make it in time because they were traveling from far away. I'm actually glad it worked out that way because DH was awesome and having anyone else there just would've been a distraction and a bother for me.
-How "out of it" I felt afterward, even though I wasn't drugged. It was 2:22 am so that probably had something to do with it.
-How difficult it was to get the hang of breastfeeding. To moms-to-be who want to breastfeed, push through the first few weeks! It can be hard and somewhat painful, but once you get over the hump it is so easy and wonderful!
Second time momma here- delivered this past Thursday. I was surprised... - that my second labor was actually LONGER. up from 2 hours to 3 - after ds1 didn't breathe on his won for so long after birth and we transferred to a hospital, I was ready for complications. I was surprised I got to experience my dream water birth and hear my son cry when he was placed on my chest. - stitches didn't hurt at all but I almost punched my midwife after each of the 5 lidocaine shots - I have yet to be painfully engorged this go round! - uterine cramping was way worse after baby number two was born - I really can be as giddy, head-over-heels in love with this little being as I was with my first son. Life is so good.
ETA: also totally surprised I was a moaner up till pushing and during pushing I totally dropped an F bomb. This is not a word I used, but I was at least aware enough to say it relatively quietly and then look anxiously around the room to see if my husband, midwives, or apprentices heard it. They did.
I was surprised that my water never broke until labor was fully going. It's always the first thing that happens on tv and in the movies. I had to have my MW break it with my first to get labor moving and it didn't break until my DD's head came out with my second.
I was surprised at how calm I was when I went into labor. I actually went to work and they made me go home (still didn't have the baby for 3 more days).
Also surprised that the thought of drugs never entered my mind (I did home birth for both). Especially since my son was posterior and I had awful back labor.
I was surprised at how quick my labors were, especially the first since everyone always talks about how long first labors can be.
I also didn't know your body continues to produce amniotic fluid even after your membranes break. So I was surprised I had to waddle into the hospital/birth center with a towel between my legs.
I was surprised at how incredibly painful the after pains were the second time around. Like excruciating.
I was surprised at the fact that I must have slept through most of my labor. By the time I woke up and felt contractions they were about 2 minutes apart.
I was surprised when I got to the hospital and the nurse told me my water had broken. I just thought I had been peeing a lot because of the contractions.
I was surprised how intense everything is when in active labor. Everything seemed so fast and furious.
I was surprised that I didn't pee, poop or vomit while pushing because everyone said that most people do.
I just wanted to say that this is such a great thread... Bringing back so many memories I haven't thought about from both my births... Going to add to it after my next birth (in the next few weeks) when my thoughts on the subject are fresh!!
At this risk of sounding AW'ish....I was surprised at how skinny I felt so soon after DS was born. I guess after holding what looks like a basketball in my midsection for months just made me feel like I was so small after. It was a nice feeling, especially for someone who has always been a little paranoid about her belly area.
I was surprised by how different the first and second births were.
The first was intense from the first contraction. I only lasted a couple hours at home until we arrived at the hospital. When I arrived I was in transition, so they admitted me and I spent the next couple hours in what I considered to be very hard and painful labor. When they finally encouraged me to push (which was about half an hour after I wanted to - dumb anterior lip), it took two and a half hours to get him out. However, I hardly tore and the PP recovery was very easy.
The second was a lot slower. I had tight but not painful contractions for the better part a day. After about 16-18 hours of this, they were coming close together, but still not painful. I decided to go to the hospital, and when I got there I was shocked to find that I was in transition again! It was so much less "painful" than the first time. Each contraction just felt like my belly was tightening, but not hurting at all. I labored for another couple hours very peacefully and in virtually no pain, and when I felt the urge to push, DS2 came out 15 minutes later. However, I had a terrible PP recovery due to severe PPH. I felt as if the post-delivery was worse than the labor & contractions.
They were like exact opposites of each other! I wonder what will happen this time...
I was suprised by how negative the postpartum nurses were about breastfeeding and by some of the weird information I got to "help" me. Sorry, nurse, LO does not need sugar water to "whet his appetite."
I was suprised by how absolutely giddy it made me when someone complimented DS, even on things neither of us had any control over. (E.g., Them: "What beautiful little fingers he has!" Me, in my head: "Why thank you. I grew him myself.")
THIS! My nurses kept trying to convince me to use formula since I was struggling with breastfeeding in the hospital. I had a few nurses tell me I wouldn't be able to breastfeed at all and another said I would get post-partum depression if I kept trying and failing. No wonder so many women think they "can't" breastfeed when that's what we're hearing from medical professionals. I ended up successfully breastfeeding for 2.5 years and my daughter never had any formula btw.
My biggest labor surprise was how swollen I got with fluid retention. I was puffed up and swollen for weeks after delivery. This time I'll be requesting no IV fluids (or maybe no IV at all if they'll let me!).
To start, this has been one of the best posts I've found, what a great topic for discussion!
I was surprised by:
- How calm I was when my water broke
- How intense my contractions were shortly after my water broke, almost no breaks between them
- How quick labor and delivery were for my first time (less than 5 hours)
- How, as a pp mentioned, "out of body" I felt during hard labor, almost as if I was no longer in reality and could only focus on the connection between my mind and body
- How calm and polite I was during the entire process, I really thought I would be a nightmare for my husband, MW and nurses but I wasn't
- How awful pushing was...I would have taken 10 more hours of contractions instead of pushing. The "ring of fire" completely lived up to its name and was extremely hard for me to get through..I honestly didn't think I would survive that part
- How crazy and "tuned in" to everything I was once they placed my daughter on my chest. I remember my senses were extremely heightened, I heard, felt and could smell everything, it was the craziest feeling
- How amazing DH was during the entire process, I didn't think it was possible to love him any more than I already do but after going through something as intense and special as the delivery of our child, truly deepened that love to a level I never imagined
- How cold and shaky I was after delivery, I was literally convulsing
- How proud I was that I was able to stick to my all natural birth plan, no interventions needed. I really felt like a superhero afterward..I fully respect that every L&D is different and what one woman needs is not the same as the next, but being able to follow my birth plan meant a lot to me. However, if my L&D had lasted longer or been different in some way, who knows what would have happened lol!
- How terrified I was to have my first bowel movement...they wouldn't let me leave the hospital until I had one and that scared me more than L&D...luckily it wasn't that bad
- How attached I became, instantly, to my DD...the love I felt was indescribable and still is to this day..there truly is no love like the one you have for your child
- How exhausting visitors can be..I completely understand that family and friends are excited and want to meet the little bundle of joy but the constant company was really difficult for me..the next time around I think DH and I are going to set our own visiting hours because it can be really overwhelming
- How scared DH and I were to leave the hospital, we had no idea how to take care of a baby and didn't want to leave the security of the nurses..once we walked in our front door, we never felt better...the feeling of coming home and settling in to our own environment was amazing
- How taking care of a baby is truly instinctual and something that just happens naturally, no book, movie or prior experience needed!
I'm sure there are plenty of other things I was surprised at but these are the main ones that came to mind. DD2 is due next month so I'll be interested to see the similarities and differences between the two births!
- I went into labor on my own. This will always be one of the most special things in my life! I was scheduled for an induction that morning, but just after midnight I went into labor, and DD was born naturally 12 hours later. So cool!
- I puked and puked and puked. Didn't expect that.
- How amazing DH was! I had major apprehension about how he'd do with me being in pain (not his strong suit), but he was absolutely a rock. I couldn't have done it without him! He literally held me up while I stood and delivered DD
- I thought I'd be in control, but I was surprised that I was absolutely not in control. I felt like my body was on a terrible roller coaster and I was desperately trying to keep up with it. I just wanted to curl in a ball and close my eyes until it was done. There was nothing calm or graceful about my labor at all!
- I got to reach down and pull DD out. This was on my secret wish list, but I had never told anyone. There was something so primal and empowering about reaching down and physically removing my baby from my body. Dude, I was awesome that day!
- How giddy DH and I were after DD was born. Our first few days were so beautiful and sacred. We were just given the most amazing, beautiful, incredible gift and we were just bursting with pride and overwhelmed with joy. We'd just look at her and look at each other and smile hugely at each other. We made this beautiful thing!
-I already posted that I was surprised at how hard the baby blues hit me in those first few days. I was very surprised at how emotional my DH was too. He cried like a baby in the delivery room. I had an incident in the hospital shortly after the birth where I passed out...and I woke up to him crying again. And he got emotional a few times in those first days home. I didn't expect that at all.
-And I was surprised at how much DH remembered from our hypnobirthing classes and from the research we had done. I thought he found the classes boring and didn't think he paid attention to much. But he was the perfect support person during labor and was fantastic after (at the hospital and at home). I couldn't have asked for him to do anything more....he was absolutely wonderful.
I was shocked at how I had absolutely no control over my "gas" for the first few weeks after giving birth. It was crazy, especially when I was still in the hospital. Every time I would get up from the hospital bed, I would pass gas and there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening. It was so embarrassing...but DH totally played it off like it was no big deal. I finally asked the nurse for some gas pills and that helped. But it was interesting.
I was surprised I never found myself wishing I could have pain meds
I was also surprised how loud I was, especially during pushing. I had no control over it whatsoever. It's true you don't care what you sound like, look like, or what you say or do during labor. This surprised me.
I was surprised I didn't feel the instant overwhelming love either. It came with time. I was in a complete daze and slightly in shock immediately after.
I was surprised at how much I threw up.
I was surprised that I did it! The pregnancy felt endless and labor (21 hours) also felt endless.
Me: 35 H: 35 Married: 4/5/13 "You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." ~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #1: 11/12/12 EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13 BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18 BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18 RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28 BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
I am sure I will remember more later, but here it goes
DS #1 (hospital birth)
I was surprised at how nauseous I was when I tried walking and how DH was the only one who remembered what we learned in childbirth class. I was very surprised when my body went from 8.5 cm to pushing in one rocking move of hips on all fours.
I did not expect wanting to do it again (pregnancy/delivery) immediately after despite harsh pitocin labor and lots of stitches.
I was surprised at how hungry I was afterwards Also how hard the hormones hit me when we left hospital.
DS#2 (home birth)
The biggest surprise was how fast labor went and how calm I was when I got urge to push while DH was out (I sent him to grocery store) and MW did not take it yet (I really think I auto piloted on all the reading I did) - both DH (13 min) and MW (11 min) made it to the birth.
I was surprised how energized I was for hours and hours afterwards while everyone was sleeping. I was also surprised how DS#2 was a little copy of DS#1.
I was surprised that I didn't feel the ring of fire or my second degree tear because I was so focused on the pain of the contractions.
I was surprised at how irritated I was when the nurse told me to keep pushing (2 hours) "for my baby." I almost told her that I couldn't care less about my baby in that moment, I just wanted it to be over!
I was surprised by how fast my labor and deliver was. My water broke at 2AM and I went into my room to start packing a hospital bag. When I told DH what I was doing he jumped out of bed and said we had to leave right away for the hospital. I told him that FTMs tend to have long labors and I had a lot of time to get to the hospital and didn't want to rush there and get there too soon. He made me go in an hour later and I'm happy he did- my son was born just 3 hours after we arrived!
I was surprised by how in control I was. At the time I didn't feel very in control, but looking back I realize I was. The nurse was very impressed by me, too. I really think I have GentleBirth and BlissBorn to thank for that!
I was surprised by how empowering labor and deliver felt. It was, hands down, the best experience of my life. I knew that I "could do it", but I didn't realize I'd actually enjoy it! I thought L&D was something you had to suffer through to get your baby but that wasn't the case at all. After he was born I looked at DH and told him I wanted to have another baby so I could do L&D again. I felt mighty and powerful and on top of the world afterward! It's a feeling I've never experienced before and doubt I will until the next one!
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
-And I was surprised at how much DH remembered from our hypnobirthing classes and from the research we had done. I thought he found the classes boring and didn't think he paid attention to much. But he was the perfect support person during labor and was fantastic after (at the hospital and at home). I couldn't have asked for him to do anything more....he was absolutely wonderful.
This is nice to hear, as a FTM. DH says he wants to be there for me, and support me, but he fights me when it's time to go to birthing class, and seems to show absolutely no interest in it. It's been very frustrating, as he's normally so supportive and caring.
I was surprised about everything after delivery. The worst part for me was not going natural, not the pushing, but the after birth contractions. Labor pains had a purpose; my baby was going to be here but afterwards? I was not prepared. And then the nurses press hard on your stomach to get the contractions going, yikes! I kept telling the nurse (begging her) I'll do it, I'll do it! It hurt so bad. I was also not prepared for the amount of blood loss afterwards either. That was shocking.
***my eyes were sunken in and dark from all the blood loss. I didn't lose a lot of blood during delivery so my body was making up for it. Talking about tennis ball sized clots one after the other for the next couple of days (shivers). They were concerned I'd hemorrhage but thankfully I didn't!
I was also surprised at how I felt like superwoman afterwords but incredibly weak as well. The day after I gave birth we were discharged and they brought me a wheelchair. I was thinking "wheelchair? I just gave birth I feel Great!" WRONG. Should've taken it when they offered by the time we got to the parking lot I was winded, dizzy, hurting, all of it. It was hot too. Make sure you take the help when it's offered and go easy on your body, you just did an incredible thing! Your body needs time to heal.
Re: What surprised you?
I was surprised...
- that my second labor was actually LONGER. up from 2 hours to 3
- after ds1 didn't breathe on his won for so long after birth and we transferred to a hospital, I was ready for complications. I was surprised I got to experience my dream water birth and hear my son cry when he was placed on my chest.
- stitches didn't hurt at all but I almost punched my midwife after each of the 5 lidocaine shots
- I have yet to be painfully engorged this go round!
- uterine cramping was way worse after baby number two was born
- I really can be as giddy, head-over-heels in love with this little being as I was with my first son. Life is so good.
ETA: also totally surprised I was a moaner up till pushing and during pushing I totally dropped an F bomb. This is not a word I used, but I was at least aware enough to say it relatively quietly and then look anxiously around the room to see if my husband, midwives, or apprentices heard it. They did.
I was surprised at how calm I was when I went into labor. I actually went to work and they made me go home (still didn't have the baby for 3 more days).
Also surprised that the thought of drugs never entered my mind (I did home birth for both). Especially since my son was posterior and I had awful back labor.
I was surprised when I got to the hospital and the nurse told me my water had broken. I just thought I had been peeing a lot because of the contractions.
I was surprised how intense everything is when in active labor. Everything seemed so fast and furious.
I was surprised that I didn't pee, poop or vomit while pushing because everyone said that most people do.
The first was intense from the first contraction. I only lasted a couple hours at home until we arrived at the hospital. When I arrived I was in transition, so they admitted me and I spent the next couple hours in what I considered to be very hard and painful labor. When they finally encouraged me to push (which was about half an hour after I wanted to - dumb anterior lip), it took two and a half hours to get him out. However, I hardly tore and the PP recovery was very easy.
The second was a lot slower. I had tight but not painful contractions for the better part a day. After about 16-18 hours of this, they were coming close together, but still not painful. I decided to go to the hospital, and when I got there I was shocked to find that I was in transition again! It was so much less "painful" than the first time. Each contraction just felt like my belly was tightening, but not hurting at all. I labored for another couple hours very peacefully and in virtually no pain, and when I felt the urge to push, DS2 came out 15 minutes later. However, I had a terrible PP recovery due to severe PPH. I felt as if the post-delivery was worse than the labor & contractions.
They were like exact opposites of each other! I wonder what will happen this time...
I was also surprised how loud I was, especially during pushing. I had no control over it whatsoever. It's true you don't care what you sound like, look like, or what you say or do during labor. This surprised me.
I was surprised I didn't feel the instant overwhelming love either. It came with time. I was in a complete daze and slightly in shock immediately after.
I was surprised at how much I threw up.
I was surprised that I did it! The pregnancy felt endless and labor (21 hours) also felt endless.
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
I am sure I will remember more later, but here it goes
DS #1 (hospital birth)
I was surprised at how nauseous I was when I tried walking and how DH was the only one who remembered what we learned in childbirth class. I was very surprised when my body went from 8.5 cm to pushing in one rocking move of hips on all fours.
I did not expect wanting to do it again (pregnancy/delivery) immediately after despite harsh pitocin labor and lots of stitches.
I was surprised at how hungry I was afterwards
Also how hard the hormones hit me when we left hospital.
DS#2 (home birth)
The biggest surprise was how fast labor went and how calm I was when I got urge to push while DH was out (I sent him to grocery store) and MW did not take it yet (I really think I auto piloted on all the reading I did) - both DH (13 min) and MW (11 min) made it to the birth.
I was surprised how energized I was for hours and hours afterwards while everyone was sleeping. I was also surprised how DS#2 was a little copy of DS#1.
I was surprised at how irritated I was when the nurse told me to keep pushing (2 hours) "for my baby." I almost told her that I couldn't care less about my baby in that moment, I just wanted it to be over!
I was surprised by how in control I was. At the time I didn't feel very in control, but looking back I realize I was. The nurse was very impressed by me, too. I really think I have GentleBirth and BlissBorn to thank for that!
I was surprised by how empowering labor and deliver felt. It was, hands down, the best experience of my life. I knew that I "could do it", but I didn't realize I'd actually enjoy it! I thought L&D was something you had to suffer through to get your baby but that wasn't the case at all. After he was born I looked at DH and told him I wanted to have another baby so I could do L&D again. I felt mighty and powerful and on top of the world afterward! It's a feeling I've never experienced before and doubt I will until the next one!
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
***my eyes were sunken in and dark from all the blood loss. I didn't lose a lot of blood during delivery so my body was making up for it. Talking about tennis ball sized clots one after the other for the next couple of days (shivers). They were concerned I'd hemorrhage but thankfully I didn't!