Tomorrow is the first (and second, I have 2) of 7 appointments over the next week and a half with my doctors to start back up on all my meds I had been avoiding while TTC. I'm trying not to let it get to me, but it's not easy. I can't even come up with the words to try to explain what I'm feeling. I've been off most of my meds for 4 years and it's been miserable. I kept justifying that it was worth the risk and pain because I was going to have a baby and it would all be worth it. But all I got was a lot of heartache and thousands of dollars in medical bills.
Please tell me this gets easier. I feel so dumb for not preparing myself for this more. I just kept ignoring it and pretending I would be fine because I knew it was going to happen and I really thought I had accepted this. Apparently not. I'm not ready to give up on this, but right now it's just not something we can keep doing and reality is punching me in the face.
Son: Jackson, 11/02/06, stillborn due to PPROM and IUGR. Over the next ten years we had 9 miscarriages from 8-14 weeks. On May 18, 2016 my daughter, Ridley, was born. We're OADNBC.