Siggy warning on "Ovulation Predictor Kits" thread

Love4Science

Yet another person who thinks they are having "trouble" yet she has one baby already.  Seriously, where do they all come from?

lazfam1120

Ok, I apologize for the mistake in where I posted my question but I was not intending to be rude in any way. I simply posted on the wrong board.

ErinSays

Riding the infertility train again, too.

Chocodoxies

** Siggy Warning**

I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks with my first pregnancy. We then spent a year actively trying with IUI every month before we had our daughter, a complete miracle. I was told I would likely not be able to have children so we wanted to try and have another quickly and we started trying at 3 mo PP. We then spent five years being devastated by three losses while doing injections, or chlomid while charting. One the most painful aspects of that was constantly having person after person ignorantly say to us, "well at least you have one". So my daughter somehow makes my struggle with infertility less, and the lives of my babies lost, invalid? I was losing my babies one after another and each time I died just a bit more inside, as did my dreams for our family. I was struggling with hormone treatments. I was infertile.

After we were forced with having to tell our four year old daughter that her brother or sister had died in mommy's tummy and we watched her heart break, we threw in the towel. It was then, having lost all hope that we found that I was pregnant a 6th time and Ariel arrived in January. Her birth, nor the birth of my eldest negate the pain, turmoil, and struggle of infertility. They are my miracles.

My SIL has not been as lucky. After her first daughter she struggled to conceive again. She has spent ten years experiencing four miscarriages and finally, feeling she doesn't have the fight left in her to take on another loss, she has given away her baby items and let the infertility win. She just can't take the pain any longer. Infertility does not discriminate. It will happily rob you of your dreams and babies while it gives you a false sense of security with a healthy child.

We are infertile. Not baren. These woman are warriors in the same war. Bond with them, don't shun them because their struggle resulted in a live birth. Infertility can strike anyone at any time for many reasons, and each guts you. I hope your battle ends with your child bundled in your arms. Best of luck to you.

Twinkie0612

Chocodoxies said:

I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks with my first pregnancy. We then spent a year actively trying with IUI every month before we had our daughter, a complete miracle. I was told I would likely no be able to have children so we wanted to try to have another quickly and we started trying at 3 mo PP. We then spent five years being devastated by three losses while doing injections, or chlomid while charting. One the most painful aspects of that was constantly having person after person ignorantly say to us, "well at least you have one". So my daughter somehow makes my struggle with infertility less, and the lives of my babies lost, invalid? I was losing my babies one after other and each time I died just a bit more inside as did my dreams for our family. I was struggling with hormone treatments. I was infertile. After we were forced with having to tell our four year old daughter that her brother or sister had died in mommy's tummy and we watched her heart break, we threw in the towel. it was then, having lost all hope the I found i was pregnant a 6th time and Ariel arrived in January. Her birth, nor the birth of my eldest negate the pain, turmoil, and struggle of infertility. She is my miracle. My SIL has not been as lucky. After her first daughter she struggled to conceive again. She has spent ten years experiencing four miscarriages and finally, feeling she doesn't have the fight left in her to take on another loss, she has given away her baby items and let the infertility win. She just can't take the pain anylonger. Infertility does not discriminate. It will happily rob you of your dreams and babies while it gives you a false sense of security with a healthy child. We are infertile. Not baren. These woman are warriors in the same war. Bond with them, don't shun them because their struggle resulted in one live birth. Infertility can strike any one at anytime for many reasons, and each guts you. I hope your battle ends with your child bundled in your arms. Best of luck to you.

@Chocodoxies I completely agree that secondary infertility should not be made light of. Why should the pain of someone experiencing IF be dismissed because they already have a child? They are still experiencing the pain of wanting a child and not being able to conceive. I don't mind if SIF or SAIF (TTC another) posts are posted here, but we do ask that you add a siggy or ticker warning to your post and/or thread title. It is the board etiquette and out of respect for the women who are having a bad if day and may want to avoid seeing your ticker or pics in your siggy. Personally siggies don't bother me, but they do bother some women.

As for the OPK post that should have been flamed not because she had children, but because she thinks trying for 2 months is having "trouble." She does not belong on this board.

Chocodoxies

**Siggy Warning**

NariaDreaming said:

Get out.

There is a secondary IF board for good reason. This is not the place for people who have a child.

IF sucks, and people with kids are NOT helping the situation

I'm very sorry you are struggling. I've been there and there is no hell like it. I put the siggy warning so as not to trigger anyone. I hope your struggle ends soon.

I posted the response to the OP to help explain that secondary infertility is just as painful and life destroying. I have experienced both.

Twinkie0612

I'm very sorry you are struggling. I've been there and there is no hell like it. I put the siggy warning so as not to trigger anyone. I hope your struggle ends soon. I posted the response to the OP to help explain that secondary infertility is just as painful and life destroying. I have experienced both.

Thank you. I am sorry for the struggles that you went through.

Chocodoxies

**Siggy Warning**

NariaDreaming said:

Chocodoxies said:

I'm very sorry you are struggling. I've been there and there is no hell like it. I put the siggy warning so as not to trigger anyone. I hope your struggle ends soon.

I posted the response to the OP to help explain that secondary infertility is just as painful and life destroying. I have experienced both.

Any IF is painful. Since you've been there, why would you think it's appropriate to cause more pain to women who are already struggling?

All we ask for is a signature warning, and the OP of the other thread freaked out when we (very nicely) asked for a siggy warning.

I did not, and would not ever, intend to hurt or bring up feelings associated with IF struggles intentionally. This was a case of posting from the app and hitting reply before putting my siggy warning in. I rectified the mistake as quickly as possible but realize that I was late and has caused you undue stress. My sincerest apologies.

As for the OPK, it sounds like she rightfully deserved to be put in her place. Two months of negative tests would not lead to a diagnosis of IF, and she should have been more than apologetic if the least said was that a siggy warning would have been proper etiquette. .

Twinkie0612

NariaDreaming said:

I'm very sorry you are struggling. I've been there and there is no hell like it. I put the siggy warning so as not to trigger anyone. I hope your struggle ends soon. I posted the response to the OP to help explain that secondary infertility is just as painful and life destroying. I have experienced both.

Any IF is painful. Since you've been there, why would you think it's appropriate to cause more pain to women who are already struggling? All we ask for is a signature warning, and the OP of the other thread freaked out when we (very nicely) asked for a siggy warning.

@NariaDreaming I don't think @Chocodoxies was trying to cause pain to others, she was responding to the original post in this thread. If you go back and read the post, it makes it sound like people who already have a child can't have trouble TTC. Obviously this is not true since secondary infertility is a real condition. Chocodoxies was nice enough to edit her post and add a siggy warning when she learned about the board etiquette.

Chocodoxies

Twinkie0612 said:

NariaDreaming said:

Chocodoxies said:

I'm very sorry you are struggling. I've been there and there is no hell like it. I put the siggy warning so as not to trigger anyone. I hope your struggle ends soon.

I posted the response to the OP to help explain that secondary infertility is just as painful and life destroying. I have experienced both.

Any IF is painful. Since you've been there, why would you think it's appropriate to cause more pain to women who are already struggling?

All we ask for is a signature warning, and the OP of the other thread freaked out when we (very nicely) asked for a siggy warning.

@NariaDreaming I don't think @Chocodoxies was trying to cause pain to others, she was responding to the original post in this thread. If you go back and read the post, it makes it sound like people who already have a child can't have trouble TTC. Obviously this is not true since secondary infertility is a real condition. Chocodoxies was nice enough to edit her post and add a siggy warning when she learned about the board etiquette.

Yes, this is what I was attempting to answer. Thank you for saying it better than I did Twinkie. The OP did read that way to me. Again, my sincerest apologies if I hurt anyone.

Love4Science

I didn't mean to start a war.  True IF sucks whether you have one kid, five kids, or no kids.  What got me going is the post by lazfam1120 from yesterday.  If you read her original post, it's not secondary infertility, she already has one kid and has been trying for the second for 2 months.  I'm sick of is the seemingly increasing number of noobs we're getting on this board who are like "OMG, how do I use an OPK?  I've been off the pill for 2 months and I just want to know if I'm ovulating!" or "I've been trying for sooooooo long, like 3 months, and I'm not pregnant yet!!!"  and then "apologizing" for "posting to the wrong board".  Dude, read, it's not hard.

And yes, I'm a little bitter this week.  21 negative cycles + 1 M/C gives me the right to be a little bitter sometimes, especially with Fertile Myrtles.  The thing with this board is we give each other some leeway when someone has a tough day.

Chocodoxies

*siggy warning*

Love4Science said:

I didn't mean to start a war.  True IF sucks whether you have one kid, five kids, or no kids.  What got me going is the post by lazfam1120 from yesterday.  If you read her original post, it's not secondary infertility, she already has one kid and has been trying for the second for 2 months.  I'm sick of is the seemingly increasing number of noobs we're getting on this board who are like "OMG, how do I use an OPK?  I've been off the pill for 2 months and I just want to know if I'm ovulating!" or "I've been trying for sooooooo long, like 3 months, and I'm not pregnant yet!!!"  and then "apologizing" for "posting to the wrong board".  Dude, read, it's not hard.

And yes, I'm a little bitter this week.  21 negative cycles + 1 M/C gives me the right to be a little bitter sometimes, especially with Fertile Myrtles.  The thing with this board is we give each other some leeway when someone has a tough day.

I get it. I totally get it. When I first was struggling with IF I didn't know these boards existed, nor did I understand how much I would have benefited from them. My first miscarriage lead to deep depression and a fear of leaving the house. I didn't have anyone but my husband to lean on during all that IF testing and the IUI cycles and we were both flying blind.

These boards are a safe zone. Somewhere you aren't supposed to be triggered by the noob or confronted the calloused observer claiming you are "making the world revolve around you" (God I heard that every time I avoided another baby shower and dropped my FB acct).

I would normally never post here after having moved over to PGAL, then PAAL, but somehow the OP made its way over to another IF/parenting site and the dust up was ridiculous. I truly am sorry that I hit "post" before realizing I had forgotten the siggy warning. I'm sure that put piss in the Cheerios of a few ladies this morning.

Twinkie0612

Love4Science said:

I didn't mean to start a war.  True IF sucks whether you have one kid, five kids, or no kids.  What got me going is the post by lazfam1120 from yesterday.  If you read her original post, it's not secondary infertility, she already has one kid and has been trying for the second for 2 months.  I'm sick of is the seemingly increasing number of noobs we're getting on this board who are like "OMG, how do I use an OPK?  I've been off the pill for 2 months and I just want to know if I'm ovulating!" or "I've been trying for sooooooo long, like 3 months, and I'm not pregnant yet!!!"  and then "apologizing" for "posting to the wrong board".  Dude, read, it's not hard.

And yes, I'm a little bitter this week.  21 negative cycles + 1 M/C gives me the right to be a little bitter sometimes, especially with Fertile Myrtles.  The thing with this board is we give each other some leeway when someone has a tough day.

@Love4Science I knew where your post was coming from and that it was just worded incorrectly. I completely agree that the OPK poster did not belong on the board. Not because she had a child, but because she isn't having trouble TTC. I understand your frustration we are on cycle 27 (I had to check FF, I lost count) ((hugs)).

PPoppy2010

SIGGY WARNING

I am going to refrain from commenting on all the above... everything that needed to be said was said... I do have a suggestion

What might make things CLEAR to everyone is better BOARD names... I came here several months ago... I lurked for weeks before saying hi...  as a newbie... I went to the names of what I knew... I am having trouble trying to conceive and I am over 35... SO those are the boards that I chose... makes sense eh? 

The problem is... newbies do not understand what all the names are... it was only a couple days ago that I realized "secondary IF" was.. "problems having a 2nd child"-- I always assumed it meant a Secondary medical problem... LIKE out of control diabetes.. or kidney failure... i.e something that causes a "second" problem... 

Just because someone has history with other babies.. or M/C or step children etc etc etc... 

Doesnt mean they are not having Trouble Trying to Conceive. - so this is the first board they pick( Just like I did)-- IF THIS board is ONLY for Trouble Trying to Conceive your first take home baby... THEN it should be made CLEAR in the title... TTTC#1  That way... NEWBIES know... 

 I have been here for a couple months... enjoyed each and everyone of you... depend on your insight... and help when and if I can. - I have several cycle buddies from here... and would be lost with out you all...  Yet.. according to this post I dont belong here...

(   and yet... I am still trying to see where it says this... you cant have any babies to post here.... SO if I cant find it when I am trying too ... then a newbie to the bump wont be able to find it... 

Just for the record.. I love ya'll to much I am not leaving..  hahaha-- BUT what I will do... is refrain from mentioning any older children... I wont have any pics up... and If i need to ask something regarding past pregnancies and such.. I will go to my other board... 

BUT to be honest... it took me 6 weeks to figure out I needed to censor myself here.... 

So lets figure out a way... to be clear up front... that way... when the dipshit that cant get pregnant with her 6th child after one cycle... KNOWS she cant post here...

xc1148

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I just think IF is something no one else can relate to, so while someone might be struggling for #2, people have no concept of what it's like dealing with IF on your way to #1. 

Chocodoxies

NariaDreaming said:

Hey @chocodoxies sorry for jumping on you We just had two posters in a 24 hour period wander in and blindside us, one who wasn't having trouble in the least, and another who had a fit after being asked to post a siggy warning. 

It wasn't your fault, and I'm sorry for lighting into you this morning. It was a really rough IF week for the Dreaming household with both a MFI dx and a thyroid dx for me, and I'd give everything including a kidney, a lobe of liver, and a lung if it meant I could have a take home baby right now. 

Don't think anything of it. War is hell and IF is a war. I understand completely.

You mentioned thyroid... I have Hashi's and am certain that every loss, every devastating period, and every streak of overwhelming depression is linked to my thyroid. I'm so sorry you're going through that.

I hope everything begins to look up for you.

Chocodoxies

NariaDreaming said:

Chocodoxies said:

NariaDreaming said:

Hey @chocodoxies sorry for jumping on you We just had two posters in a 24 hour period wander in and blindside us, one who wasn't having trouble in the least, and another who had a fit after being asked to post a siggy warning. 

It wasn't your fault, and I'm sorry for lighting into you this morning. It was a really rough IF week for the Dreaming household with both a MFI dx and a thyroid dx for me, and I'd give everything including a kidney, a lobe of liver, and a lung if it meant I could have a take home baby right now. 

Don't think anything of it. War is hell and IF is a war. I understand completely.

You mentioned thyroid... I have Hashi's and am certain that every loss, every devastating period, and every streak of overwhelming depression is linked to my thyroid. I'm so sorry you're going through that.

I hope everything begins to look up for you.

Yep. Hashi's here too. Luckily my TSH wasn't sky high to begin with (3.19) and they got me started on synthroid the day my doc got the results in.

As I was looking over the Hashi symptom list it was like a detailed list of every complaint I've had in the last 18 months!

I am just finding that synthroid, which I was on for years, is not ideal for people with Hashi's. have your tried Armor? I STRONGLY suggest it. Symptoms I had become so adjusted to that they seemed to be a part of me are dissipating. I also suggest ordering the book "stop the thyroid maddness" and checking out this website:
https://www.stopthethyroidmadness.co
m/
Perhaps if I had known seven years ago what I've learned on this site things could have been so different. Please take a look at the site when you can. In a mere two weeks my health has changed drastically because I know that much more. If you need someone to talk to email me: chocodoxies@yahoo.com

I'm always here to talk.